Intermittent signal

Bit torrent, HD, wireless router, Ethernet ports, 404 errors blah di blah di blah. Lost? I know I am.

In short, today I’ve realised that the world I live in is fast becoming alien to me. This morning, I took an English language class – language and technology – and some of these unfamiliars came up then. A few of my 17 year old charges were (thankfully?) as bemused as I was. This afternoon, I’ve been trying to sort out my internet connection, to absolutely no avail. So, this post might be more of an appeal to in-the-know computer geeks than a comment on perfume.

For the past four weeks, I’ve only been able to get online every once in a while. My modem and my computer both tell me I’m connected; the lack of mail arriving, and the blank face of a browser, tell me otherwise. I’ve phoned my expensive ISP helpline several times – they don’t know the answer: the strength of my signal hasn’t changed; the cables I use haven’t changed; my security settings haven’t changed. The only things that have changed are my frustration levels, my lengths of time online, and my phone bill.

It seems like we’ve pinned it down to one thing: the extension cable. “As your ISP, we can only guarantee that broadband will work if it is connected directly to your main telephone socket.” Mine isn’t; it hasn’t been for three years; broadband has worked fine. One of the techies told me that extension cables can be degraded by the broadband signal forcing its way through – he might as well have been talking about ectoplasm, for all the sense this made to me. I can’t envision a data stream causing physical damage to a wire, but hell, what do I know? “Test it in your main phone socket, and see.”

So this is what I’m doing. And blast, it’s working. Blast, because the main phone socket is in the dining room and the computer lives in the study, two floors up. It doesn’t look right down here. Where am I going to host my fancy schmancy dinner parties now? (Note to self: plan a fancy schmancy dinner party before you die).
Simple solution? It’s about time I got wireless. Problem in the way of this solution: my mac isn’t wireless compatible unless I buy an AirPort. Additional problem – my software isn’t compatible with AirPort Extreme which is now the industry standard. I don’t even have a DVD drive in my mac. I need a new computer, but until house, job and money stuff sort themselves out, I will have to live with an erratic and probably slowly dying signal, unless any of you wiseys know different. I can’t replace the cabling – it’s in the frigging walls!

Tenuous perfume connection: this might explain why I’ve never got the Comme des Garà§ons Synthetic series. I mean, interesting and all, but why does anyone want to smell like that? I’m no natural perfumery junkie, but give me a sense of the organic over cabling, wiring, and a future of blue lights and signal decay.

Yours intermittently
Leopoldo

Thanks to LuckyScent for the image.

  • Photios says:

    Nice!

  • Socrates says:

    Nice

  • Kostantinos says:

    Cool!

  • Gerasimos says:

    Cool…

  • Aleksiu says:

    Nice…

  • Euaggelos says:

    Cool!

  • Charalampos says:

    Cool!

  • Georges says:

    Nice…

  • Stylianos says:

    Nice…

  • Ivan says:

    Cool.

  • Hristos says:

    Cool.

  • Epameinondas says:

    Cool…

  • Aiolos says:

    Cool…

  • Ilias says:

    Nice!

  • Charilaos says:

    Nice

  • Hristos says:

    interesting

  • Andy says:

    Note to self: Give Leopoldo an online hug regularily. If you do it often enough, he might get it from time to time. Hugs to you, Leopoldo and sorry for not being of any help. I try to avoid Mac’s.

    • Lee says:

      >:d< Back at you >:d<

    • pitbull friend says:

      Some time ago, I remember reading a funny essay about how the world is divisible into Mac people (creative, Catholic) and IBM people (orderly, Protestant). Mac & I diverged paths many years ago & it makes sense in light of my linear tendencies. But, Andy, I would have thought you a Mac guy! Go figure. — Ellen

      • Maria B. says:

        I’m sure I have some work to do. 😕 However, I just had to point out that Andy has a Ph.D. in chemistry. OTOH, although I have Catholicism in my past and blood and I’m a writer, I too am a PC user. There goes that paradigm. (If no one else has claimed “paradigm,” I’m claiming it. It’s such fun to overuse it and it’s so vague.)

        • pitbull friend says:

          You have work to do? Hmm, wonder whether I do, too?;)

          One of the cool things about subverting a paradigm, though, is that, when something doesn’t fit your theory, you can always say, “Well, that’s the exception that proves the rule.” I’m not sure you or Andy do, in this case, but it’s also fun to say and feels so professorial, doesn’t it? –Ellen

  • tmp00 says:

    Lee- you should be able to get along with the older AirPort card and any base station at all- not necessarily and AirPort one.

    Christine- If Lee doesn’t want it, I’ll take it! I have an old key lime clamshell iBook that simply will not die (thank goodness: don’t need the expense of a new one!

  • Christine says:

    Hey Lee what kind of Mac do you have? I have an airport card that is currently in a nonworking computer but it should work fine. It is not the Extreme. I’ll check when I get home, (about six hours from now). But it’s yours if you want it. Email me for details later.

    • Lee says:

      That’s really delightful of you C, but between phone calls, writing this blog entry and smashing my head against the wall whilst another version of Vivaldi’s the Four Seasons was played to me after I keyed in different numbers on my keypad as freaking well requested by calm madame robot voice, trying to hold sanity together whilst the day drained away (deep breath), an old friend offered my a USB plug-in solution thingy. It should be with me tomorrow. Yippee!

      Thanks SO much for your lovely offer.

  • Amy says:

    Easy solution — have March bring you a new zippy PowerBook from the states. They’re cheaper here.

    Not so practical? Sorry. Can you write off a new one as a business expense? This is the problem with Macs — they don’t reliably go tits up every four years like a Dell PC, so you’re stuck with antiquated technology. Have you checked into whether Apple provides software updates with the Airport? They’re usually pretty good about that. Whatever the case, I’m not going to help matters by telling you that I have a PowerBook with wireless internet and I love it beyond reason. Once you’ve answered e-mail from the comfort of your own bed, you’re ruined for life.

    Oh, and perfume! I dragged my two best friends (and perfume newbies) to the CdG boutique in NYC (more about which later on the blog today) and spritzed Garage into the air. Neither of them wanted to wear it, but it did make them giggle. Never underestimate the power of a reliable giggle.

    • pitbull friend says:

      Hey, Amy: Are you new here? Not sure I’ve seen you before, but either way, you have a WICKED way with an epigram! “Once you’ve answered e-mail from the comfort of your own bed, you’re ruined for life.” and “Never underestimate the power of a reliable giggle.” Really nice! Do you channel Oscar Wilde? Whenever we play the “5 people from all time I would invite for dinner” game, I choose Oscar Wilde and Mae West. I hope they wouldn’t get in too much of a tizzy over each others’ brilliance, but it would sure be fun to watch the epigrams fly! — Ellen

      • Amy says:

        That’s sweet, Ellen, thanks for the compliment. No, not new. Sometimes I’m aimtx, sometimes I’m Style Spy… my steel-trap (!?) mind does not extend its powers to remembering what name I go by on any given blog.

    • Lee says:

      I know a powerbook is the way forward. It’s a house-sale-dependent purchase. My life is currently house-sale-dependent for some reason. I feel like a brick with a little smear of mortar on it.

      And I love a good giggle. In spite of my melodramatic (comic I hope?) words above, I’ve had at least three good giggles today.

  • Marina says:

    Oh Lee, I feel for you. I hate things like that. The bloody providers can never guarantee anything and can never fix anything ..but they can charge you very efficiently.

    • Lee says:

      … or keep you on the phone cracking jokes with you whilst your bill keeps stacking up and you’re too dumb to realise that this is their whole schtick.

      • pitbull friend says:

        OK, not to sound like too much of a gal-about-town here, but — I actually dated the techie who helped me fix my DSL (digital subscriber line — better than dial-up but not as good as the cable I have now) a few years ago. We had a really nice chat, so I said, “Since my phone number is in front of you, feel free to use it some time when you’re not working.” He lived one state away, but we wound up dating for about a year. I mean, a decent partner should either make you laugh or be able to fix things — or, preferably, both — right? –Ellen

        • Lee says:

          Ellen – I think I’m developing a crush on you…

          • pitbull friend says:

            Oh, Lee, you are so sweet. One can never have too many cybercrushes… Hey, when you questioned whether you were a “nice British boy,” which of the two adjectives and a noun were you questioning? :d ;;) — Ellen

  • Kelly says:

    Hi Lee – Fortunately, I don’t have to know anything about computers… Mr. Kelly happens to be just that sort of computer geek. I just hand my laptop over and whimper.

    His professional suggestion: Get the phone company to run new cable. It’s cheaper than a new computer or trying to upgrade to wireless, plus you can put the jack wherever you want.

    Still not good news, I suppose… but what price Posse?

    As far as Synthetics? Bleh. Yes, they’re amazing, yes, I wonder how they got THAT smell inside a bottle, yes, they’re nothing short of genius. But I don’t want to smell like that.

    • Lee says:

      Kelly – sound advice from you and Mr K. And I’m with you all the way on the CDGs too.

  • March says:

    Wow. Did you see that? Did you see how Patty went all techno up there, first thing in the morning, and she probably wrote that at, like, 4 a.m.? And also, she never laffs at me when I ask her stupid questions about blog technical stuff. Okay, there was that one time I didn’t actually have the wireless button *on* (Hecate had helpfully pressed it) and she called me a dummass. But just that once.

    I am picturing your forceful broadband signal wearing something very aggressive — Yatagan, maybe? That also seems to be a good choice if Broadband wants to make the extension cables feel degraded. Nothing like the walk of shame after a night of Yatagan…

    Our solution: a 23YO Princeton grad who lives nearby who gave up his career in finance because a) it was boring and b) he was making good money fixing computers on the side. I call him up and say, helplessly, “the thing … it isn’t going …” and he comes right over. LOVE that guy.

  • Solander says:

    Bulgari Black is just a soft, sweet, cuddly, gourmandy comfort scent to me. Perhaps a hint of rubber, but I didn’t find it interesting enough to keep. Dzing! is a weird, rubbery scent that’s still alive and warm. Nostalgia I must try! I imagine it might be a warmer and more “organic” Garage…. I don’t have trouble with weird, I only have trouble with cool and clean and synthetic.

    • Lee says:

      Cool and clean and synthetic – my problem exactly.

      Weird I like. You should see my friends.

      • Maria B. says:

        Hey, Lee, aren’t we your friends too? Does that mean…? No, it couldn’t possibly. 😉

  • Elle says:

    Definitely not a computer geek, but I confess to having a serious appreciation for at least two scents from the Synthetics series – Tar and Skai. Find both of them to be quite comforting and, for me at least, very wearable. Hope someone here can help you w/ your computer woes!

  • Patty says:

    Well, I don’t know how to solve your problem, but your google ads sure changed their tone this morning.

    So are Macs not as easy to do wireless? We just got those little USB gizmos for computers whose wireless was outdated or stopped working. The biggest problem we had initially was getting enough boost to get a good signal across three floors — and we have steel in our walls, so signals die in this house — but we finally got the right configuration for a bridge thingie, and now we have zippy, speedy internet connection everywhere, all wireless, it’s a thing of beauty.

    Can’t you call your provider to come out and put in a new jack more convenient to where you want to be?

    I like weird things. SMN’s Nostalgia and Bvlgari Black are just treasures of comforting smells that you just wouldn’t think to put on your skin, except it, well, works!

    • Lee says:

      You have to track down the right USB gizmo I think. And I think I’ve found one. Now I’ll have to be doing all the stuff you’ve described.

      Google ads are so attentive, aren’t they? Are we getting bloghits from technonerds?

      Come say hi, folks.

  • chayaruchama says:

    I feel your frustration.

    We don’t need the Internet to be connected…

    [See, I’m forgiving you , in advance, for the upcoming indiscretion you’re going to have with a certain, unnamed red-headed floozy !]

    Me loves you ALWAYS.

  • Solander says:

    Internet is my prolonged brain, I can’t imagine living without it. Or word processing, for that matter. I rememeber my parents’ first computer, a Mac with tiny b/w screen, they got it early enough for me to never have to use a typewriter for school assignments (I don’t think they even had a typewriter, I guess they didn’t work from home back then…) When I was 15, Internet was installed in the school cafeteria and I started chatting in chatrooms (do they even exist anymore? Now it’s all blogs and communities and boards and instant messaging) Shortly after that we got a modem at home too, on a Mac with a slightly larger screen with a few colours and no capacity for images more complicated than drawings in Paint.
    Now… well I just can’t imagine NOT having all the information I need a Googling or Wikipedia search away… I can waste my entires days on the Internet, which is very bad when I ought to be working… Sometimes I think I need detox, but my studies are Internet-related too, I study electronic hypertext.
    Being a half-human, half-computer cyborg I still share your attitude to techie stuff and artificiality though. I find the Synthetic series interesting but the kind of people who would have them as signature scents doesn’t appeal to me. They would have to be so clean-shawen and well-manicured and freshly showered, with absolutely no body odour. Some kind of scary mannequin people. The idea of Garage is appealing, but I like my biker type scents more rugged and warm with more leather. That’s why I like Tar, tar to me is a natural and warm smell associated with old boats. I also have a fondness for Soda because it smells EXACTLY like the pickled ginger you get with sushi. Yum yum yum I could just eat tons of it and forget the sushi! Unfortunately that’s just the very fleeting topnote, after that it’s soda.

    • Lee says:

      Like you, solander, the internet is part of me. I’ve not known what to do with my time these past few weeks. I’ve actually been productive.

      *whispers*
      The signal is currently getting through the wire, and it’s fast. Those internet gremlins must be visitng the neighbours, or busy cobbling together some more emails from oh so worthy causes in Nigeria who want to deposit money in my bank account….

    • Solander says:

      Productive.. Wow… I’ve almost forgotten what that is.. I just spent another day when I ought to be working on either my thesis or my lousy copywriting job (preferrably both) on the net… Now I ought to be sleeping since 3 hours or so, I have to get up at 3 to deliver newspapers…
      I always find time for perfume, somehow… Time and money when I have neither… :-“

      • pitbull friend says:

        Solander, my sweet young friend —
        It amazes me to hear these reminiscences — I feel like an old woman remembering Lindbergh’s flight to Paris as if it were yesterday — my typing class was on manual typewriters! (Electric existed, but wasn’t cheap enough for our school.) It’s weird but wonderful. I’m glad there are young folks like you who are so obviously thoughtful & hardworking. We’re in some good hands, generationally speaking. –Ellen

    • Solander says:

      Ellen, that’s amazing. I’m very fascinated by history, recent history especially. The previous turn of the century is one of my favs. Not that I’m implying that’s when you were young of course… 😉 I find it fascinating that when I grow older I will be one of the people who remembers the 20th century… Like it must have been for those who lived quite recently who remembered the 19th… (I guess there might be a handful of those left around the world).
      But hardworking? Didn’t I just write that I spend my entire days on the Internet… How’s that for degeneration? [-x
      I work pretty hard on educating myself scentwise though! :d

  • Gina says:

    Lee, sorry to hear about your internet issues. I’ve had them, I know they’re tremendously frustrating.

    When at Luckyscent to meet Andy, I smelled the CdG Synthetic series. Well, let’s just say that Dry Cleaning smelled EXACTLY like dry cleaning and Garage smelled like old oil on concrete. I can’t see myself smelling like either one. Oh, and then there’s Tar. Yep…Tar.

    • Lee says:

      Yeah – pure replication doesn’t thrill me, any more than it does you. Though I quite like that tarry smell…

      • Gina says:

        I kinda liked Dry Cleaning…though I don’t want to smell like that. Garage brought back weird memories. Wearing Dzing today. LOVE.

  • Tigs says:

    Lee: This post had me chuckling all the way through – just wanted to say ‘Thanks!’ and I hope your frustrations are soon eased.

    • Lee says:

      What can you do but laugh, E, eh? I *think* I may have worked out a convoluted solution. It’ll probably take four years of my life trying to install it all, but you never know…

  • Maria B. says:

    Lee, I feel your pain. When we moved to our current ancient-wiring place, we had to go wireless. Fortunately, we had bought the computer last summer, so it was up to date even if the house wasn’t. Our wireless connection is as slow as treacle at zero centigrade. Some weird things happen. I can’t explain them. I don’t want to know about them. I certainly wouldn’t know what to call them. Life is too complicated already.

    If it’s not too warm where you are, you may want to spritz on some Ambre Narguile as a radical contrast to all the cold technology claptrap.

    How is the house sale/hunt proceeding? Or is this an undesirable subject?

    • Lee says:

      It has been too warm but just as March is arriving, in comes a cold front.

      Poor love’ll need her thermal knickers.

  • pitbull friend says:

    I’ve wondered about those CdGs. They seem to continue in production, but I haven’t met anyone who either smells like pencil shavings & radiator dust (those were in Odeur 53, or perhaps Odeur 71) or has expressed an interest in so doing. Anybody? Anybody?

    On the other hand, I just tried SMN Nostalgia. Wow! (My colleague, the temporary Human Scent Strip, put on a dab & instantly identified it as a mechanic’s shop from his childhood! I’m impressed.) I also find Bulgari Black a wee bit sexy. Can’t believe it has taken me so many decades to find out that I am a pervert who likes rubber and leather. (As opposed to an ordinary pervert, I guess.) –Ellen

    P.S. Where does a nice British boy get “fancy schmancy” and “verklempt?”
    P.P.S. Remember the mystery sniffing guy date? I put Guerlain Rose Barbare over my heart for my second date — not throwing any curveballs, here — and he didn’t get the roses at all! Then he had a business trip. Don’t know when/whether we’ll be having a third date. Regardless, I’m grateful for his clever idea.

    • Maria B. says:

      Clever idea or *wily ploy* to get his face into close proximity with your skin! Either way, he deserves points for ingenuity though he obviously doesn’t know a thing about fragrance. 😉 Thanks for the update. I’ve been curious.

    • Lee says:

      Sweet – the Rose Barbare over your heart. Absurdly touching, actually.

      And who said I’m a nice British boy?:-“