(Ladies and gentlemen– please welcome DUSAN, the author of today’s Friday Guest Post and another bona fide male! Not that Patty and I don’t have ba — well, never mind. Dusan will be hosting today, and enjoy your flight!)

Drip, drip, drip! You wake up to find yourself in a huge red windowless orange whose ceiling is leaking droplets of honey. As you feel your way around, sliding on the slippery floor, you realize that the walls are lined with cookies and truffles. Your hand reaches for a particularly tasty-looking brownie and tears it off the gloopy wall. You´ve hardly taken a mouthful when you hear a sigh interrupting the echoing patter. Unmoved, you proceed to munch on your brownie, sucking it, gulping and groaning with pleasure while you lick your fingers. It´s only when the orange starts wobbling and squishing that you begin to feel a little unnerved. But it´s too late! One by one, the cookies come crumbling away while the patter of honey swells into a steaming shower. Gasping for air, you struggle to keep your footing in the violent orangequake. But as you open your mouth to take in a breath, a walloping dollop lands straight in and down your throat. The rooftop caves in with a bang and even as you are choking, a giant honeycomb crashes down on your face, knocking you down into the pool of goo and out of your greedy consciousness.

This is more or less how I described my first impressions of Paco Rabanne´s latest entry, Ultrared Man, to Robin of Now Smell This. To be perfectly honest, the story could also have been that of two siblings stranded in the woods, trying to trace their way home along a path strewn with breadcrumbs just because their parents felt they needed to spice up their dying sex life. How´s that, you ask? Well, because the rest of the story ties in neatly with Ultrared´s development (notes: blood orange zest, praline, tonka bean, patchouli, vanilla). Although brash and ultrasweet at the opening, twenty minutes in Ultrared shifts from a roar to a purr and from then on it´s basically a skin scent of lovely woody amber (to evoke the witch´s house), praline (the candy) and slightly earthy patchouli (the forest). In my version, the witch turns out to be a loving granny who not only adores children (hers have moved away and seldom visit) but also takes great pleasure in baking them all manner of cakes and tarts. Appalled at the siblings´ sorry state, she takes them in, naturally, and feeds their poor starved bodies back to life. Plump, she says, is how she´d like them to be. At worst, she could be a particularly crafty sales assistant that uses the gingerbread house to lure prospective unsuspecting customers into buying the latest Kylie, Britney and Christina fumes. Did I mention that she works on commission?

Anyway, where was I? Ah yes, the reason why I decided on the orange story instead. Well, simply because for me blood orange is the star in Ultrared. Whether in the big bang of marzipan, vanilla and cookies or long into the drydown of woody praline, it´s always present – either to cut the sugar-bomb with its delicious tart zest or liven up what could well have been nice but altogether flat amber. It breathes and it sighs – and that´s exactly what I want in my comfort-gourmand fragrance. And please, don´t let my over-the-top description of Ultrared´s opening scare you off. It´s just the way it should be. If you are into that sort of thing, that is. For the record, this is not the first time Paco Rabanne has used a praline note in his fragrances. XS Black, a stunning cologne on others but sadly not so much on me thanks to my pathetic sweetifying skin, has a woodsy, strawberry-tinged praline accord that smells amazing atop dark incensey woods.

Ultrared for women I tested briefly on a strip and… it´s really nice, much in the same vein as the men´s, only amp down the woods, add some florals, brighten it up a notch and there you are. Fans of the recent crop of faux-chypres like Elle YSL, Gucci by Gucci and Nina should seek it out. Personally, I like Ultraviolet better, but this one is growing on me.

I´d meant to write up a review of the men´s Ultraviolet but just like so many times before, I sprayed it on and … poof, nothing. Well, something sweet anyway, vaguely minty. Half hour later, the mint is stronger and a vetiver-like note has appeared with a whisper. An hour later, you guessed it right, nothing earth shattering happens, just a synthetic minty sweetness. That´s all I can get out of Ultraviolet, I´m afraid. Which makes me sad because I know men who wear it well and leave a powerful sillage in their wake (!) I guess I´m just an Ultrared kinda guy.

So, my question to you is: what perfume sends you to fairyland?

image source: microanalysis.blogspot.com

There is something almost soul stealing about long flights. You start the trip so excited… then the excitement gives way to zombie-like lack of sleep and exhaustion from changing planes, schlepping luggage, never drinking enough fluids, meandering around soulless airports, seeing what quickly seems like the same faces over and over and over again until you pretty much hate all humanity, if you believed they were human… or that you were still human.

And my butt! Can anyone ever invent a bottom cushion for an airplane seat that doesn´t create pressure points that just make you want to cry after three hours?

Compound that with taking one 18-year-old and one 21-year-old with you for their first trip to Europe and you get… it was great! From their lack of sleep and drooping eyes to their horror at whether they would survive the ride through Paris to out hotel, their first cup of coffee at an outdoor café in pouring rain while we waited for our hotel room to be ready (is there a conspiracy that most flights land you in Paris between 6-8a and no hotels have your room ready until 3 p.m.?) Letting them go off to explore so the 18-year-old could drink his first legal beer. Even watching him fall asleep on the couch in the hotel lobby and softly snoring, much to the hotel staff´s horror, was priceless. There is nothing better than taking your kids to Europe for the first time.

Now it´s 1 a.m., I´ve managed to get maybe 8 hours sleep in two shifts, and I´ll manage to get another 3-4 before we start a big day tomorrow, and it is raining buckets outside. My snazzy internet card that was supposed to work internationally is… well, not. I´m hoping it will find its signal somewhere, but if it can´t find one in the middle of Paris… well, I think AT&T oversold me on this card. Tomorrow it will be a mission to find a cyber café so you´ll actually ready this post on Thursday.  Hey, mission accomplished, the cafe next to the hotel has a wifi spot.

But what do you contemplate at 1 a.m. Paris time with the sounds of rain outside your window? (And which makes me laugh after reading March’s post about cheap bangs for your buck from yesterday) Shalini. At my son´s graduation, I wore Apres L´ondee pure parfum, and my sister was sniffing around and saw my bottle of Shalini and does the… “Whaaat´s thissss??!?!: that just unnerves me so. She spritzed it, and I remember just how beautiful it is… and more expensive than any perfume should ever be. It´s a ridiculously priced perfume… beyond ridiculous. All day, I kept smelling the most ephemeral and gorgeous smell. I knew it wasn´t me, though I did smell great. I finally figured out it was her. Tuberose wrapped in sunshine. We went to the driving range the afternoon of my son´s graduation, and I kept whiffing that smell. For some reason, I always thought it disappeared or was too light on me. Oh, no, not true, it haunted me every second of the day, wafting over from the one spritz on her neck.

First thing the next morning, I had my own on so I could haunt myself. It is lovely, and there really is nothing else that smells like it. Beautiful, buttery sunshine, that´s my best description. It´s still priced obscenely.

And what perfumes do you think I brought with me to Paris? Nada. I still don´t know why I didn´t even bring a decant or two in my suitcase, but maybe it´s just time for a three-week perfume holiday, and the only smells I´ll write about are the ones I smell during our trip.

Today´s smell is rain. CB does some scents that come close to capturing it, but he gets more of the earth in the rain. Rain itself is like no other smell. It slices through all the other smells around you and somehow makes them better without completely obliterating them. And thunder? Can I tell you? my idea of heaven is thunder and lightning rolling across a night sky. I used to lay on on my daddy´s truck on the farm when I was a girl in Kansas, watching thunderstorms roll in, the air ionized, bolts of lightning dancing sometimess up and down and sometimes just in the clouds, staying far above us. And the smell… Lord, that is the smell I want bottled to take with me everywhere.

Tomorrow´s adventures is some sight-seeing, though we may need an umbrella or two. Notre Dame and St. Chapelle if the rain keeps up, and probably just some aimless meandering around the St. Germain district after that and a visit with my Uncle and his family. I can´t wait to see my son´s eyes as they take all this in for the first time. Yes, there will be pictures, and check for me on my photoblog, the link is on the left.

Xo y´all!

Patty

Pia sent me a bottle of fragrance with a full disclosure at her local Post Office (they know she´s swapping perfume), resulting in a “ground only transportation” label or some such, which to be honest I didn´t even know existed. I just knew I wasn´t supposed to be shipping perfume, so I wrap everything tight, keep my mouth shut and hope for the best. I wanted you all to know about this option (which obviously won´t work if you´re shipping outside the Continental U.S., although maybe to Canada?) and that her bottle got here in decent time. I´m going to check this out the next time I mail something. Have any of you done this? My frustration is lack of consistency by the USPS – I got into, uh, nondisclosure because one PO employee told me I couldn´t ship perfume, period. Which obviously is not true, is it? And then they wonder why we´re sneaky. Because, you know, you are always reading in the news about bottles of perfume spontaneously blowing up and taking out whole city blocks…

We´re all saving our money up for the Scentsation, right? Also, sometimes I feel an irresistible urge to blog about stuff that doesn´t cost an arm and a leg. Today’s a shout-out to Fragrances that give you the Big Bang for the Buck. Louise and I were discussing this recently. Cribbing from her emails:

“In the cheap wonders category… L’Aromarine has essential oils for $7, and Mousse de Chene (the only one I have tried so far) is great-a slightly sweet, longlasting moss, with a touch of brightness…they’re at Beautyhabit now with that seductive 25% off.” I tried this the other day and it is dee-lightful. Just a rich, mossy smell. Can´t beat the price. Anyone tried any of the others? Some of them sound great.

Louise adds: “Cabaret by Gres is another one-just got a tester – a nice woody rose-like a very light Montale.” She also gave me a sample of Zum Mist Frankincense and Myrhh, which I guess gets blogged about on MUA? I’d not heard of it. That stuff rocks. Are you ready? On drugstore.com for TEN BUCKS in a metal bottle. Lasted hours on me. A clean, kinda summery incense.

The big winner was Anarchy, Irma Shorell´s dupe of Donna Karan’s d/c’d masterpiece, Chaos. Twenty bucks a bottle for Anarchy and I´ve never tried it. I scored a bottle of Chaos on fleaBay awhile back. I was on there recently and the bottle prices are even more ridiculous. I was reluctant to try Anarchy, because seriously, how close could they get?

Was it a perfect dupe? No, but I need to qualify that answer and explain why I´m okay with that. First of all, I never smelled Chaos when it was having its (brief) life on the shelves. The extant bottles are aging at this point, and like all discontinued fragrances, some of them are aging more gracefully than others. I will hazard a guess that Chaos´ striking bottle meant more were left out unboxed on vanities, etc., so people could look at them, leading to degradation of the juice. Second, I´ll make a general observation that I think given any fragrance´s ingredients, some scents may be more likely to turn than others. All I have to judge by, in the end, is my several samples from various sources (decants, sent by friends, etc.)

Chaos is one of my favorite winter perfumes, as regular readers know. However, like Mitsouko, applying it is not a decision I make lightly. It lasts forever on me, it haunts my clothes (albeit in a wonderful way), and it is not something I want to wear to the gym or anywhere else people aren´t interested in a heavy scent. Also, most of my samples have developed a slight varnish-like smell in the top notes that I have learned to ignore, knowing that the payoff is worth it. I assume this is the result of some particular aromachemical slowly going kaput over time.

Anarchy manages to capture the joy of Chaos without feeling so sonorous, no disrespect intended to the Queen. It is slightly sweeter, spicier, slightly less woody. If I smelled it in a sample vial along with the rest of my stash, I might plausibly assume it´s just another variation on the theme, as all my samples smell somewhat different at this point. Louise is quite pleased and says it lasts a long time on her, so that test is passed. I have reapplied my sample several times, pondering and comparing it to the original (or, the original as I know it). I am now going to commit Fragrance Heresy by pronouncing it a reasonable substitute for Chaos, and not only that, preferable if you are more into the warm spicy bits. There is something less … difficult about it; it is missing the waxy harshness that Chaos shares with Black Cashmere and which is great 95 times out of 100, but which on the other five occasions has me wishing I´d selected something else, frankly.

I´ve not tried any of their other dupes of classics, like Venezia, My Sin, Replique, etc.? Any reports from the field? Hey, how are y´all feeling about those cheap bottles of Tocade you bought?

Other recommended cheapie brands: Yves Rocher (which are your favorites?), the CrazyPoppies solid perfume thingies, Roger & Gallet (although their lasting power isn´t great, the ginger is gorgeous); Speziali Fiorentini (Te Nero/Black Tea is a wonderful honeyed tea); and Pacifica (Mediterranean Fig is my favorite, with its sandalwood base). For drugstore frags, I keep meaning to try Coty Vanilla Musk, which I know some people really like. I can personally vouch for Coty Wild Woods, found online for a song. Just call it “Bois Sauvage” if you’re embarrassed. Who knew $11.99 could smell so good? Buy a pretty atomizer to decant it into. (btw it’s a “men’s” scent).

Any favorites I’ve overlooked?

Today’s Big Bang giveaway, donated by Louise: a tester bottle of Cabaret by Gres (sadly, it doesn’t last on her, and I don’t like rose, although it’s a nice woody one; lots of positive reviews on MUA). Say you want it in the comments and I’ll put you in the draw.

PS Not sure if Patty’s doing a post for tomorrow — I have one I’ll put up in the morning if hers hasn’t magically appeared by then, so stay tuned!

March

About a year or so ago, Ellie D came out, and I immediately fell in love with my first Lily of the Valley perfume – yes, the evil devil flower snagged me.  Since them, I’ve been much anticipating Ellie Nuit, which I expected to be a darker version of Ellie D.

 Unso.

 Notes of Sandalwood, cashmere wood, coriander seeds, violet, rose, fig, musk, blackcurrant, and oak moss make up the perfume, which are far, far different notes than the first Ellie.  It goes on with almost a hay smell (yeah, yeah, for you hay ‘hos, you know what I’m sayin’ here).  I’m guessing that’s more coriander than hay, but it’s a seriously nice effect with the fig and violet doing the backstroke underneath it.  It has the same earthiness as Ellie D, but going less in the green direction.  Give it some time, and it smooths out to an elegant dark purple satin glove. Not dark, but still extravagantly rich, but without that bright, lush greenness of the original.  It’s love for me.

Since while you read this I’ll just be touching down in Europe and trying to figure out how to get through the day with no sleep, there will likely be no responses to comments.  So… here’s what we should do.  Instead of just commenting to me, reply to each other in comments, which is really a lot of fun for me to read later!

Patty

Okay, a quick update on the Chi-Cocoa Scentsation – while you are making your plans, we want you to know on Saturday evening there will be cocktails and that´s probably when Liz and Neil will be presenting their stuff so be sure to work that into your travel schedule. It´s bound to be a great wrap-up to what is shaping up to be a pretty fabulous day!

Also, we´ve been working on the hotel angle. If you need a hotel or a flight, feel free to call Musette´s travel agent, Roberta, at 602-482-9779 or email her at corptravelaz (at) cox (dot) net — she´s working (checking her email) this weekend.

Roberta has made my reservations at The Inn of Chicago, which was offering rooms for $199 and $229 for a room with two queen beds on Priceline, and I think Roberta can match that. The problem with Priceline and Hotwire, etc., is, I don´t believe you can change or cancel your reservation once you book, and they won´t guarantee the specific sleeping arrangements, just that there´s room for two people. Which is how Patty and I ended up sleeping together in NYC – our requested double beds weren´t available. So somebody ends up on the fold-out couch or a roll-away cot, which stinks. Booking through a travel agent offers some flexibility. If you have anything useful to add, please stick it up here in comments and/or in the Scentsation message board.

She´s also working on a group rate with the Allerton, which is supposed to be nice and close by and recently renovated. She needs a head count by Wednesday; I think initially we were looking at $228 per night (and yeah, it´s downtown Chicago – everyone needs a roommate!). But when she checked rates for me the Allerton was weighing in at closer to $329 (ugh) for Saturday so I´m not sure we´re getting much love there.

Sorry, this is all I´ve got for you right now – I jumped into the pool today (in my clothes) to bail Buckethead out of the water, where he was thrashing around right under the chair of the teenaged lifeguard, who looked at him like, dude – that kid is drowning! Buckethead was totally fine, have no fear. However, I did something ugly to my foot in my haste to retrieve him, and am now gimping around on crutches, and can I just mention how much this sucks with the Cheese out of town for another 2 – 3 weeks? Mobility: something we take for granted until it´s compromised. I can´t even get upstairs to smell my perfume! There must be some kind of samples sitting around down here, have to nose around … I hope you all are having a lovely weekend.

March