Hmmm….which one is more true than the other? If the former means “…to his face”, then #2 happens more often. However, if #1 means at any time, then *it* happens more often.

Olfacta,

Could you have put it any more succinctly? ) I must agree with you on every point here, though others may have had different experiences. Like you, I’ve been on both sides of the fence and it’s tough going no matter what. I’ve yet to find the Sugar Daddy, alas, but am open to all offers, no matter the potential for castigation (the fact that I am no longer nubile renders this point mostly moot….but hope springs eternal[-o<

Even friendships between people with widely differing incomes can be strained. Where to eat, where to go, what to leave out when talking — all of it. And I’ve been on both sides of the issue. Right now I’m on the more affluent side, but I still remember when I wasn’t, and how I felt when clueless moneyed friends flapped on and on about their expensive vacations or bitched about how the cleaning lady messed something up, when they knew damned well that I was having trouble paying my rent.

You get used to a certain lifestyle after a while. And things like impulsive dinners out, weekends away (or full bottles) you just get used to, too. I’m married, but married late, and remember dating poor guys when I was making good money. I didn’t mind, but sooner or later they always did. No matter how enlightened we think we are as a society, a well-paid woman seeing a poor man elicits snickers, especially if he is younger. As does the man. And there are some very unpleasant words used to describe that situation. Another sad fact of life: people may disapprove a bit when a rich man marries a poor (but beautiful) young woman, but they’re concerned with his behavior, not hers.

(Of course the same goes for an older, wealthier gay man and his poor but nubile companion, but that’s another subject…)

And so I think that, like most things, it’s more difficult for the woman. It’s hard enough to have a successful relationship, of any kind, without this particular issue running underneath like a virus-checker. Any woman or man about to embark upon such a relationship needs to know exactly what they’re getting into.

As to the dating/income disparity issue, its all relative. I don’t think it should matter, but I also don’t think it’s wise for a woman to financially support a man with no ambition, skills, etc. But to give credit where credit is due, many of the fellas have been doing this for some of us ladies for centuries, no?
And certainly many admirable careers are low-paying, but by no means an indication of irresponsibility: teachers, firemen, librarians, policemen, civil servants,small business owners, and artists of all stripes.