Friday Guest Post: Ultrared Man

(Ladies and gentlemen– please welcome DUSAN, the author of today’s Friday Guest Post and another bona fide male! Not that Patty and I don’t have ba — well, never mind. Dusan will be hosting today, and enjoy your flight!)

Drip, drip, drip! You wake up to find yourself in a huge red windowless orange whose ceiling is leaking droplets of honey. As you feel your way around, sliding on the slippery floor, you realize that the walls are lined with cookies and truffles. Your hand reaches for a particularly tasty-looking brownie and tears it off the gloopy wall. You´ve hardly taken a mouthful when you hear a sigh interrupting the echoing patter. Unmoved, you proceed to munch on your brownie, sucking it, gulping and groaning with pleasure while you lick your fingers. It´s only when the orange starts wobbling and squishing that you begin to feel a little unnerved. But it´s too late! One by one, the cookies come crumbling away while the patter of honey swells into a steaming shower. Gasping for air, you struggle to keep your footing in the violent orangequake. But as you open your mouth to take in a breath, a walloping dollop lands straight in and down your throat. The rooftop caves in with a bang and even as you are choking, a giant honeycomb crashes down on your face, knocking you down into the pool of goo and out of your greedy consciousness.

This is more or less how I described my first impressions of Paco Rabanne´s latest entry, Ultrared Man, to Robin of Now Smell This. To be perfectly honest, the story could also have been that of two siblings stranded in the woods, trying to trace their way home along a path strewn with breadcrumbs just because their parents felt they needed to spice up their dying sex life. How´s that, you ask? Well, because the rest of the story ties in neatly with Ultrared´s development (notes: blood orange zest, praline, tonka bean, patchouli, vanilla). Although brash and ultrasweet at the opening, twenty minutes in Ultrared shifts from a roar to a purr and from then on it´s basically a skin scent of lovely woody amber (to evoke the witch´s house), praline (the candy) and slightly earthy patchouli (the forest). In my version, the witch turns out to be a loving granny who not only adores children (hers have moved away and seldom visit) but also takes great pleasure in baking them all manner of cakes and tarts. Appalled at the siblings´ sorry state, she takes them in, naturally, and feeds their poor starved bodies back to life. Plump, she says, is how she´d like them to be. At worst, she could be a particularly crafty sales assistant that uses the gingerbread house to lure prospective unsuspecting customers into buying the latest Kylie, Britney and Christina fumes. Did I mention that she works on commission?

Anyway, where was I? Ah yes, the reason why I decided on the orange story instead. Well, simply because for me blood orange is the star in Ultrared. Whether in the big bang of marzipan, vanilla and cookies or long into the drydown of woody praline, it´s always present – either to cut the sugar-bomb with its delicious tart zest or liven up what could well have been nice but altogether flat amber. It breathes and it sighs – and that´s exactly what I want in my comfort-gourmand fragrance. And please, don´t let my over-the-top description of Ultrared´s opening scare you off. It´s just the way it should be. If you are into that sort of thing, that is. For the record, this is not the first time Paco Rabanne has used a praline note in his fragrances. XS Black, a stunning cologne on others but sadly not so much on me thanks to my pathetic sweetifying skin, has a woodsy, strawberry-tinged praline accord that smells amazing atop dark incensey woods.

Ultrared for women I tested briefly on a strip and… it´s really nice, much in the same vein as the men´s, only amp down the woods, add some florals, brighten it up a notch and there you are. Fans of the recent crop of faux-chypres like Elle YSL, Gucci by Gucci and Nina should seek it out. Personally, I like Ultraviolet better, but this one is growing on me.

I´d meant to write up a review of the men´s Ultraviolet but just like so many times before, I sprayed it on and … poof, nothing. Well, something sweet anyway, vaguely minty. Half hour later, the mint is stronger and a vetiver-like note has appeared with a whisper. An hour later, you guessed it right, nothing earth shattering happens, just a synthetic minty sweetness. That´s all I can get out of Ultraviolet, I´m afraid. Which makes me sad because I know men who wear it well and leave a powerful sillage in their wake (!) I guess I´m just an Ultrared kinda guy.

So, my question to you is: what perfume sends you to fairyland?

image source: microanalysis.blogspot.com

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  • Olfacta says:

    Oh, so many. Right now it’s L’Air du Desert Marocain — over the moon. I ordered samples of the CDG incense series from TPC, and just got them today; haven’t tried them all yet, but the Avignon and the Kyoto — I may have found nirvana in these incense-based scents.

    Others: Perfumee Au Te’ Vert (I just wish it lasted longer; even the Extreme is gone on me within an hour or so. It’s a problem.) Vintage Bal a Versailles perfume. Un Jardin sur le Nil. I’m sure there will be more!

  • Elizabeth says:

    In fact, I am awaiting my samples, including one of IE, from Andy. I wonder how long it will take to get from Switzerland to California?? I don’t know how long I can wait.

  • KevinS says:

    Dusan! A toothache-inducing post! I MUST try this on now thanks to you — even though I’m not a foodie man when it comes to fragrance. The best I can do is the commes des garcons Tea from the Green Series. I’m betting Ultrared Man is not in the US yet? Kevin

  • Francesca says:

    I felt like I was watching a movie of this fragrance. Beautifullly descriptive language, and thank you very much.
    Fairyland: Well, I tend to see them as somewhat strange and strong creatures rather than the little frilly things. There’s a beautiful early 20th century opera called The Immortal Hour about loves and battles between fairy troops, whose loveliest chorus is called The Fairy Song. And if I were a fairy princess being fought over by rival fairy princes, I think I’d wear En Passant. Magical rain and lilac.

    • Dusan says:

      You must have some elvish blood running through your veins, Francesca! En Passant does seem so apt for a delicate yet strong-willed fairy princess.
      Having read the other comments today, I can’t help but feel that it’s amazing how differently we all perceive our fairylands and creatures inhabiting them, don’t you think? That opera sounds intriguing, especially because it combines music and fairy tales – my two great loves.
      And thank *you* for the lovely compliment! Strange, it’s like you know me well – when I think, I think cinematic. 🙂

      • Francesca says:

        You can hear that song here, Dusan. In the opera it’s a chorus, which I think is more effective, but you will get the idea:

    • Elizabeth says:

      I was thinking of En Passant too. It definitely transports me to another time and place. 😡

  • Elizabeth says:

    What an amazing description of a perfume! 😡 I am not a foody/sweet scent lover, but I did get hungry reading your post. That said, I am a perfume novice, and honestly, don’t know if any send me to fairyland, though I do swoon over many of them regularly, Incense Rose being the “one” right now.

    • Dusan says:

      I tell ya, Elizabeth, sweatmeats should be served with reviews like these. I should know, I’ve ended up drooling on my keyboard many a time just reading.
      Have you tried Andy’s Incense Extreme? It just occurred to me that IE would be a neat match for Tolkin’s dwarves, conjuring up their damp, cold stone halls. No?
      And thanks for your kind words, my heart is really full today! 🙂

  • Dusan says:

    QC, your deadpan humor always kills me, I love your comments! (and your blog btw, where I’m still safely lurking). The honey in Ultrared – is really not that strong, I needed something sticky to evoke the open and it ended up as a good literary device :”> If you keep your nose away from the hand for the first half hour, you’ll be safe from Weight Watchers, promise.
    I’ve heard nice things about Caravelle Epicee, but have yet to smell it. Sounds like my kinda thing. Didn’t Marie-Helene write a glowing review?
    And thanks! 😡

  • Robin says:

    Dusan, your post made me so hungry I ate half a Green & Black Maya Gold chocolate bar. So thanks! Hope I’ll run into an Ultrared tester eventually…

    • Dusan says:

      Ha, like you need an excuse to eat chocolate; you could have fooled me! /:) 🙂
      Thanks for stopping by, R! 😡

  • Debbie says:

    I thought you were going to post on Miel de Bois when I read about honey dripping off of walls. However, I quickly realized you weren’t. It sounds exactly up my alley, except I worry about the orange. My skin can do horrible things with fruits. However, I was okay with the Hermes scents, so…. How much fruit is in it?

    Mmmmm….my favorites: Miel de Bois, Botrytis, DSH Mahjoun. Yes, you did a post definitely involving things I love. (These are all FB’s, BTW.)

    I really want to try Possets’ gingerbread fragrances. They sound great too.

    • Dusan says:

      Debbie, I’ve been avoiding Miel de Bois for ages on account of its bad reputation, which is crazy seeing as I love honey in a perfume. There were many other priorities and fox pee/cat pee wasn’t exactly one of them, you know. How totally unperfumista-like of me! :-\” Anyway, I’ve noted down the names of the other fragrances you mentioned to try.
      The orange in Ultrared Man shouldn’t be a problem as it’s zesty not sickly. The women’s is fruitier but not heavy-duty fruity (I just had to write that, hee) although I think whether you end up with fruit salad or only a whiff of fruit depends much on your skin chemistry, no? Guess you’ll have to see it for yourself…
      Have you tried Bois des Iles? Its lovely gingerbread note is calling out your name! 🙂

  • Catherine says:

    Wonderful post, Dusan! I’m an avid reader of fairy tales. My fairy tale sent is SL’s Chypre Rouge–that warm, sweet nutty beginning that inaugurates a descent into a strange wooded land. After I read your post, it was the only fragrance I was interested in wearing today. OJ Ormonde Woman is my secondary fairy tale scent–again, the descent into a strange, beautiful wood where I might encounter the elves at their most mischievous.

    • Dusan says:

      Catherine, I grew up on fairy tales from various cultures and don’t think I’ll ever grow out of them. If you say that Chypre Rouge takes you to magical places, then there’s nothing left for me to do but make an order from the Perfumed Court. Thanks for the rec! 🙂

  • Disteza says:

    Well, I guess it depends on which fairyland I want to visit. If we’re talking about the evil, twisted fairyland, it’s Profumum’s Olibanum. If it’s overgrown, ancient, animalistic fairyland, it’s Biche Dans L’Absinthe. And if it’s the color-saturated, sunny and cheerful fairyland a la Disney, then it’s gotta be La Chase aux Papillons. I’ve got other ‘scent trips’ as well, but to list them all would be quite a post!

    • Anthony says:

      check check and check… three i’ll be sampling in the next month! Disteza you’ve got my number hahaha…

      • Disteza says:

        Glad to hear you can still get the Absinthe; pardon me while I go get some love on my precious little bottle! I’m also glad to hear other’s trying out the Profumums–they seem to get so little mention, maybe it’s the price? Their skanky ones are wicked awesome on me though, enough so that I feel beholden to preach on them.

    • Dusan says:

      Disteza, can I come with? To the ancient fairyland of course, with gnarled, stumpy trees and forbidden brooks?
      This is the second time today I’ve read about Profumum’s Olibanum, must try that one too. (I feel I’m slowly losing my perfumista street cred). And agree that La Chasse is a great choice for Disney-like fairyland!

      • Disteza says:

        You can join me in the woods anytime; unfortunately the ones I walk through are not all that ancient. Still, it’s great to wander and catch the odd hints of perfumed breezes from unseen flowers. And yes, absolutely go try some of the Profumums! Santalum and Ambra Aurea are also favorites of mine, and my husband loves Fumidus (even if I think it’s a little simple, it’s defintely got some balls).

  • Billy D says:

    Just wanted to say hello to another bona fide male. (What ever happened to Bryan?) I’ve never been a fan of Paco Rabanne, and I don’t think this will turn me, but your description is fantastic!

    • Dusan says:

      Thanks, Billy! To my knowledge, Ultrared is by far the sweetest Paco Rabanne for men and while I’m not sure it is any more Rabannesque than the others, it’s definitely for a gourmand lover. No harm in trying it, right? *god, I just sounded like an SA* :-s

    • March says:

      We have Bryan locked in our basement, we’re spraying him with Blue Sugar until he cracks and gives us all his perfume.

      I keed, I keed. Bryan has the keys to the kingdom, we just need to noodge him to do another post!

  • kathleen says:

    Quite a visual, fun post, Dusan.

    As I’m still quite new to this, and have so many fragrances swimming around in my head at the moment, I’ll go back to an old favorite for my fairyland pick. I think Bois des Iles, for the memories that it invokes. Sitting behind the Venice Opera House listening to a rehearsal. It was unexpected, and therefore, a gift.

    • Dusan says:

      Kathleen, glad you enjoyed it!
      Yours is a wonderful pick; you know, Bois des Iles is good as anything, or even better, from the gingerbread house. A lovely fragrance and happy memories: who needs Ultrared when we have Venice, right?

  • Louise says:

    Wonderful, sticky post, Dusan 🙂 Huge welcome:x

    I like sweet, but this one frightens me…

    My current fairyland is also for daydreaming-L’air du Desert Marocain. It completely transports me-a wonder of a perfume:d/

    • Dusan says:

      Louise!!! >:d< Oh I wish I hadn't been so blunt about how sweet the top notes are. What's your tolerance for sweet? Let's see - on my sweetness scale PG Bois de Copaiba is a 10 and Ultrared a harmless 6,85; does that seem scary to you now? Do try it, your skin may well kill off the molasses. L'Air - ahhh, perfection! Thanks for your warm welcome, you sweetie 😡

      • Louise says:

        Dusan, I have a huge tolerance for sweets :d/ I love and wear BdC-so maybe I need to give the ultra a spin :)) Happy weekend to you!

  • Musette says:

    Dusan,

    Lovely post! I was all over the whole orange thing, being a Bigarade lover (I love the linear zest of Cologne Bigarade) but the descent into sweetness sort of threw me off. Plus I couldn’t get Stan Lee out of my head: I imagine a red/orange superhero suit, with a green cape,fighting>-)

    You can tell I struggle with the gourmands, can’t you

    Is it anything like Elixir des Merveilles? It sounds like they might be related.

    My fairyland scent is currently Angelique Sous la Pluie; it’s bizarre – I’m this big, strappin’ gal…but I seem to love these ethereal scents. perhaps I was an elf or a sprite in another life?

    :-j

    • Dusan says:

      Hullo you elfin creature you! 🙂
      Your fondness for ethereal perfumes is no more surprising than mine for Big Orientals – I’m fair-haired, blue-eyed and rather small so go figure! OTOH I adore BC so much that for a FB (that’s FREE bottle) I’d be willing to parade around in a superhero suit (don’t think my nipples would look good though).
      Elixir des Merveilles I haven’t tried, sorry. Is it a lot different than Eau des M? Cos I own that one and can safely say that Ultrared and EdM are worlds apart; there is nothing airy or salty about Ultrared and unlike EdM, it wears close to the skin for the better part of its duration.

      • Musette says:

        Yes, it’s really not the same at all – Elixir smells like chocolate and oranges and allspice to me, with some bourbon and tequila thrown in for good measure. I don’t like it nearly as much as I like the Eau and usually wear Eau on top of it to cut the weird sweetness.

        Don’t worry, if you want to be Ultrared Man we will get you a costume like Batman’s, with the nips already set up for you. We’ll just grease you up, slide you in there…and you’re good to go!

        >-)>-)>-)…..watch OUT! ( I love those little blue things! Glad I finally found a chance to use them!)

  • March says:

    Hey, Dusan — welcome, and thanks for posting. I’ve not smelled this one, but based on your description I think I’d really like it, don’t you?

    My fairyland perfume is Organza Indecence. I wear it to bed, and it’s pretty much all the woody, spicy vanilla I can stand — there’s a whole group of those vanillic fragrances that turn my stomach in the morning, but by evening — yum! And if I want to add a roaring bonfire to the experience, there’s John Galliano or even plain ol’ Demeter Bonfire…

    • Dusan says:

      M, thank *you* for the invite! 😡
      Isn’t Organza Indecence that hunky, shoulder-padded woody number? You spray that on before going to bed? Where does Cheese sleep, then? ;))
      Correct me if I’m wrong but I think you are a fan of Lempicka’s L, right? I think you might like Ultrared as it’s got a bit of that burnt sugar thing going on in the base; the funny thing is I could smell that part on the strip but not on my wrist.

      • March says:

        Wow, comparing it to L makes me even more interested! I love that burnt sugar note…

        Indecence is mostly spicy vanilla on me. The Cheese thinks it smells just dandy. 😉 It’s certainly less strident than many other things I wear…

  • Anne says:

    My favorite time to REALLY spritz is before bed. Sometimes I regret it and sometimes so much so that I have to drag myself to the bathroom to remove a scrubber. No scrubber last night! Last night it was Ava’s Madame X. Sweet dreams! In it I was wearing all leather with a beautiful sticky resinous amber necklace. There were vanilla pods sticking out of my pockets as I leaned in to smell some jasmine. Yes and there were several horses milling about. One so close I could feel its warm breath on my neck. Ever wake up and want to back to a dream that was so fracking FB amazing?

    • kathleen says:

      I agree with you about Madame X. I really like it as well. Put it on one saturday afternoon and went shopping. When I came home, I shoved my wrist under DH’s nose and asked what he thought of it. He said, I smelled it on you when you left, I don’t like this one, it makes you smell like butt. Might have been better if he mentioned that before I left the house.

      • Musette says:

        Honeypie,

        I STILL think it’s just ‘him’=)) I bought MmeX on your recommend and while it’s not my favorite (I adore Film Noir) I find it to be a lovely, “non-butt” scent.
        Revisit it later but don’t tell him what it is – see if he likes it.

        It’s Friday and I am finishing the World’s Longest Customer Quote! I’m nearly giddy with delight!

        xoxoxo <:-p

      • Debbie says:

        No. Madame-X is not a butt scent. Introduce him to MH’s Rien. (I love it, but it definitely has some skanky notes in there.)

        • kathleen says:

          You and Musette know, I really have to spray the stuff to smell it. Odds are, I was really od-ing in it. At such times, one appreciates traveling husbands. I can enjoy the freedom of smelling like “butt” when he is away!

    • Dusan says:

      Was I under a rock when Ava L was big or what? What a great description, you sold me on the horses and leather and personally, I’m no stranger to a bit of butt smell now and then.
      Sadly, I’m one of those people who rarely remember their dreams :(. I do smell great in the morning, though!

  • MattS says:

    Wow. Great post. The fairy tale reference is perfect, but I can’t help but be a little afraid of the opening of that Ultrared. It sound much like my experience with Aomassai, drowning in hazlenut and caramel for hours, waiting for someone to throw out the lifeline of woods and grass.

    I tried Vol de Nuit last night for the first time. Fairyland. I want to go there again and again and suddenly the real world seems a lot less interesting.

    Have a wonderful weekend.

    • Olfacta says:

      ….suddenly the real world seems a lot less interesting….” — I haven’t read a better description of what perfume can do.

    • Dusan says:

      Thanks, Matt! You know, the first spray of Ultrared almost knocked me out, but it calms down soon enough so I don’t think you’ll be needing a lifeline. Who knows, you might even like that sugar punch in the face. FWIW, the deep drydown is a comfy, blankety scent.
      Vol de Nuit goes straight on my to-try list, thanks.
      Wishing a lovely weekend to you, too! 🙂

  • Great description, Dusan, I gained three pounds reading it. I’m not sure I can take all that honey, but I do love me some blood orange.
    My secret fairy-tale is Frapin’s Caravelle Epicee. It’s not too foody and lasts forever. And for some reason, I can wear it in the heat. Maybe it’s that cookie-warm-out-of-the-oven thing. Maybe I’ll put on dark glasses and try UltraRed. It sounds intriguing.

    • Dusan says:

      QC, your deadpan humor always kills me, I love your comments! (and your blog btw, where I’m still safely lurking). The honey in Ultrared – is really not that strong, I needed something sticky to evoke the open and it ended up as a good literary device :”> If you keep your nose away from the hand for the first half hour, you’ll be safe from Weight Watchers, promise.
      I’ve heard nice things about Caravelle Epicee, but have yet to smell it. Sounds like my kinda thing. Didn’t Marie-Helene write a glowing review?
      And thanks! 😡

      • Why Mr. Dusan [painting blush on for effect] I dee-clare, aren’t you sweet. [Twirling umbrella, which has been turned inside out.]
        Every now and then I begin to channel the snarky side of of Maureen Dowd, which is the broad side, I’m sure.

        Another reason to try UltraRed, is that after years of not loving vanilla, I’m finding that I may have been wrong about that rash judgment, particularly when it’s walked through the patchouli patch.

        And you are welcome on my blog anytime. With Pete traveling, I’m missing the outrageous comments.

  • Anthony says:

    Hey Dusan! Great post… I really can’t wait to try this now! This is really and truly one of those weird “I was just thinking about this and wearing it and here it shows up on the blog” blogs 🙂 I was JUST WEARING yesterday, YES, at the SAME TIME (different locations) Black XS and B*Men. Black XS is one that sorta sulks at the back of my collection but every time I bring it out I sniff the inside of that excellent molecule collecting cap and am transformed, transfixed, and absorbed into its sultry, dry, scratchy sweetness… and after reading your review of Ultrared, I was reminded of B*Men… I am sure they are not very similar but I could imagine conceptually they might be in the same genre. There was a day, just one day, when I thought, “Black XS is one of the most delicious fragrances I’ve EVER smelled.” Now I have Ultrared to look forward to!

    • Dusan says:

      Hey Anthony! Are you by any chance nthny from Basenotes? If so, man, I love reading your reviews, we’re FTs for sure!
      You wanna heard weird? I wore XS Black last night, too! 😮 I kept sniffing my wrist like crazy, it’s that delicious.
      If B*Men and Ultrared have anything in common, it’s that vibrant woody base, but other than that… granted, it’s been ages since I last smelled B*Men, so you might just be right.
      Let us know how it went with Ultrared, will ya?
      And thanks for the kind words! 🙂