Knock it off with the poor scent name choices already! It’s bad enough that the fragrances succeeding Poison all include Poison in their names. It makes us seem, when asked what we are wearing, like we want to be perceived as KGB dominatrixes with heavily-accented English.

It’s a good thing the Poison “family” makes us smell instead like femmes fatales with dangerous curves and soft shoulders, so just cut to the chase and rename Hypnotic Poison what it should have been called all along:

Eau de Take-Me-Now.

Okay, here is my perfume plea:

Dear Jean Patou, all is forgiven if you bring back ALL the Ma Collection scents IN PARFUM TOO plus the two missing Cocktail versions and oh, I promise to buy a CASE if you bring back Lasso, honet I will.

Dear Dior, Miss Dior Cherie is not all that bad but her mom was HAWT, so please return Miss Dior to her rightfuil place as Queen.

Dear Lanvin, please get the rights to My Sin back and while you are at it, Crescendo, Pretexte and Scandal need to be resurrected too, kthxbye.