The first day in Europe is always a bit of a fog – the way it works on my East Coast flight is, we leave here around 7pm and get there at 7am – only of course for me it’s 1am or thereabouts, and I’m not good at sleeping on the flight.  I drop my bags at the hotel, stay awake through the morning, take a one-hour nap after finally checking into the hotel, go to bed on local time, and … next day I’m pretty much on schedule.  (I can’t imagine what it’s like for you Left Coast people.)  This trip to Paris I got into de Gaulle at 5:30 am, it was bitterly cold, and I couldn’t meet madame for the apartment keys and bag drop until 9:00 am.  By 2pm I was shaking with cold and exhaustion, but too wound up with coffee to sleep.  So I did something I rarely do – took another look at the contents of the liquor cabinet that had been pointed out to me earlier during the tour of the apartment.

Predictably, it was filled with liqueurs people buy and then leave behind in vacation rentals – to my inexpert eye, mostly the sweet fruit/berry/cordial/digestif things that make me think of ripple.  I wasn’t touching those.  There was also Scotch, a word I recognized.  I think I can say truthfully that I’d never tasted Scotch in my life.  But it sounded warming, and there was an inch or two left in the bottle.  So I poured myself a tot … and stood there in awe.

It smelled delicious.  It smelled smoky and peaty and raw and earthy and wet, and in that exact moment I understood what Christopher Brosius was up to in Cumming, the hilariously named and extraordinary celebrity scent by Alan Cumming.  I like to bring it up on the blog periodically for newbies, because otherwise how on earth will anyone ever hear about it?  Notes are bergamot, black pepper, whiskey, leather, peat fire, highland mud, burnt rubber, white truffle, cigars, heather, Douglas fir.  In theory it’s a men’s scent, but what a smell!  If I ever get around to composing a list of 100 Perfumes You Should Smell, this would likely be on it.  Sephora used to carry it online, but there’s no longer a purchasing link there.  I can’t find his website (cummingthefragrance.com) – does anyone have a different link?  In fact, the only place I see it for sale is the New London Pharmacy.  That makes me sad.  Has Cumming been discontinued?  Will it disappear entirely?

I polished off the rest of that bottle of Scotch one tiny glass at a time over our vacation, bothering Louise and Angie periodically with my ravings about it.  Angie and I went to the Closerie des Lilas one evening (it’s famous as a haunt for Gertrude Stein, Picasso, Hemingway and others), and I ordered a glass of wildly overpriced Scotch  - labeled “smoky” and “peppery” in French.  They apparently didn’t think it was appropriate for a lady, but they brought it reluctantly.

The day I left Paris, the security passthrough was a trial.  First off, the screeners hate my favorite walking boots, which look like Doc Martens and have a steel shank, and maybe the orthotic inserts look like C4 explosives on their viewing screen, I don’t know.  Second, it was one of those days where I set off the metal detector over and over.  I do this occasionally, I don’t know why (no, it is not my bra, or my belt).  They pull me to one side and wand me – nothing blips.  They send me back through, and I set it off again.  The patdowns get increasingly intimate, and as I don’t have any shrapnel, metal pins or steel plates to disclose, the workers sometimes get testy.   This time I looked the gal right in the eye as she was grabbing my boobs and told her it was my “coeur d’or” – my heart of gold.  We had a good laugh.  Eventually they gave me my terrorist boots back and I was on my merry way.

I was walking past the duty-free shops looking for – whoa, hey! Are those bottles open!?? - yes, it’s true, in Paris (have I never noticed this at other airports?) they have liquor bottles open on a bar-shaped counter.  Have a shot.  Have three or four – they’re free!   The sales clerk was extremely knowledgeable about their inventory and spoke perfect English, so I asked to taste the smokiest whiskeys they had.

The bottle from the apartment was sitting right there – Bowmore, which turns out not to be utter dreck but a quite well regarded single-malt Scotch whisky.  Whiskey nuts have already figured this out, but it seems I am a fan of the Islay whiskies, noted for their peaty, smoky flavors, with additional notes of iodine, seaweed and salt.  I tried Bowmore (again), Caol Ila, and Laphroaig, which is famous enough even I’d heard of it.  They were all wonderful, but in that moment, the Caol Ila tasted the smokiest, the peatiest, the strangest.  If Comme des Garcons made whiskey, that’s what it would taste like.

I’m working my way through my bottle, one thimble-sized glass at a time.  I can’t imagine ever getting bored with its powerful, peaty aroma — I probably spend as much time sniffing it as I do drinking it.  When it’s gone I’m going to see if I can scare up small bottles of some other smoky Scotch brands.  I want to try as many as I can.   For a gal whose “hard” liquor consumption is limited to a couple of margaritas in midsummer, I’m amused and bemused to have been bitten by the Scotch bug.  But I said the same thing about perfume, didn’t I?

If there’s a smoky Scotch you love, I’d love to hear about it.  And also, is there a fragrance you associate with the smell or taste of an alcoholic beverage, or (vice versa) a drink that conjures up a particular perfume in your mind?

* * *

Endnotes of truthiness, so argue away or correct me if I’m wrong:

1) Scotch whiskey is generally spelled whisky, and everything else (including Irish whiskey) is spelled whiskey, except … when it isn’t.  There are various articles debating this issue, including this one.

2) Scotch is whiskey (oops, sorry, whisky) produced in Scotland.  Whisk(e)y produced in Ireland is called … Irish whiskey.  If it’s American whiskey made in the south, probably from Kentucky and distilled partly from corn, it’s … bourbon.  Feel free to step in here and join the fray.  While I’m picking fights — counter to popular opinion, religious beliefs and various bar menus, Jack Daniel’s is not bourbon.  It’s Tennessee whiskey.

3) I drink my Scotch neat – I can’t imagine pouring something that fantastic over ice, but most of the photos I find online do just that.  Someone tell me why I’m wrong.

4) The people of Scotland are Scottish or Scots.  Scotch generally refers to a food or beverage (Scotch broth, Scotch egg).  Calling someone Scotch may be considered mildly pejorative.   Except in Canada.  More here.

image: Nora Maynard, thekitchn.com

March

The mind does show signs of going:   I was prowling through my perfumes, lingering over the Histoires de Parfums Tubereuse 3 Animale and thinking – Did I write a review on this?  And if I didn’t, why didn’t I?

Top notes of tuberose, neroli, and kumquat; a heart of tuberose, aromatics, and plum; and a base of tuberose, blond tobacco, and immortelle.  This opens like honey dipped in smut, and I was thinking it was going to be a straight-up skank fragrance with a tuberose patina, but it’s not.  As Angela points out in her review, for a tuberose perfume, it’s a great tobacco honey scent.

I do get tuberose on me, but it’s not a full-on tuberose scent at all. The emphasis is on the tobacco, with the immortelle taking a nice role, not overpowering the perfume, but enriching it, and then I get the tuberose all nestled down in the middle.  So as long as I wasn’t wanting a tuberose in a big “Hey I’m a tuberose!” kind of way, I love this. It is warm, dripping comfort, and the drydown is really soft and lovely.  I want my bedsheets to smell like this. Oh, hey, good idea!

Then I ask, where is the animale in this?  Well, it’s a fuzzy kitten who has been in the kitchen lapping at the pancake syrup on a plate who then cuddled up next to me for a nap, breathing its sweet mapley kitty breath on me.

Even though nothing in its name really fits it, I adore it. It’s a lovely, warm scent to wear, and it has just a teensy bit of naughtiness running around, but it’s far more playful than sexual.   You know, like spank me instead of – well, you know.

And you’ll all be happy to know that I think my internets problem with getting to this website is over, yeah!!!  I think it just took time to work out. I have one browser that went there today, and I’m going to be brave and point Firefox to it next week

Patty

Housekeeping details – in the move to the new blog host on May 1-ish, we lost about 30 hours of blog posting, including Patty’s Winners post with all the great haircolor comments on there (which bums me out), and the tail end of the Dune comments and my responses.  I haven’t given up entirely, but my guess is we aren’t getting that stuff back, and I’m sorry. Patty’s trying to fix her inability to comment.  Finally, my comment notification in my inbox seems a bit spotty.  Okay, on to today’s post…

It’s a testament both to the avalanche of new releases and the amount of samples I get that I have things like Donna Karan Iris sitting around here somewhere, still unsniffed, two (?) months after receiving it.  It’s been awhile since I’ve done one of my half-assed, poorly-researched, utterly biased candy samples posts (unlike my scrupulously prepared, impartial regular posts.)  So here’s a review of everything on my desk today, with my stream-of-consciousness analysis.

Ego Facto Prends Garde a Toi – which is French for, I pee on your hand and then as if that weren’t nasty enough I morph into a green floral with a wallop of Patty’s patented Tampax-fresh accord, although they’re calling it “mineral.”  Green notes, jasmine, lily of the valley, lily, hyacinth, nettle, woody notes, warm sand accord and kill.me.now.  Oh, look — up there in the sky — it’s Mister Yuck!  Welcome back, my friend!

Lelong Pour Femme – why can’t every woman smell like this?  Why why why? Heck, everyone – every man, woman, dog.  When I opened up the mailer I thought, something wonderful’s in here.  This, my friends, is perfume!   A heady floriental, notes are mandarin, bergamot, magnolia, lilac, fig, jasmine rose, tuberose, ylang ylang, iris, orchids, sandalwood, vetiver, oakmoss, musk.  So – all your suspicions that I am a lover of heinous old-lady fragrances have been confirmed.  Here’s a link to Musette’s review. UPDATE:  And a link to Posse commenter Donna’s review, I’d forgotten about this!

ANOTHER UPDATE:  I’m not sure I’m being fair to Lelong by calling it “old lady,” it’s a zaftig, femme-retro thang (with a big rack sillage, warm and sexy.)  Here’s a perfect, direct crib from mals’ comment below:   “Wonder what I´m NOT getting out of LPF, that I don´t perceive it as “old lady”? I mean, I get a big retro vibe – it seems very much to me like an orchid satin prom dress, complete with wrist corsage and halter top and dyed-to-match shoes. Immediate spray-on Femininity. I know a number of people find it on the vampy side, too, but I don´t. I perceive it as a smooth, creamy floral, with an innocent sensuality rather than outright sexiness – a generous bosom supported (and guarded from roving hands, maybe) by a really sturdy 50s style bra.”

NOT Lelong Pour Femme? – Anita, honey, I think that’s the same juice.  IMO.  And thanks for sending me two of them, since I like it so much and I’m too cheap to buy a clock-bottle.

Ego Facto Poopoo Pidoo – eh.  Notes are citrus, orange blossom, rice powder, amber, woods, musk, and it’s done by Dominique Ropion.   I thought it would be more like KenzoAmour but it’s waaay powdery and a little sweet, sort of a cross between Kenzo Flower and Lostmarc’h Lann-Ael.  Kind of fun, but not for me.

Piguet Visa (vintage) –  I am on record as saying I like the new version, a fruity number done by Aurelien Guichard, although I know it’s a major disappointment to vintage perfumistas – sort of like if they reissued Bandit and it smelled like Kelly Caleche.  Now that I’ve smelled the vintage, I understand what they’re weeping over.  Honestly, though, can you even make something like this legally anymore?   That base!!!   I wonder how many animals are in there … damn. That’s giving my vintage Femme a run for its money, skank-wise.  So intensely out of fashion I can’t really blame Piguet.   I do remember a quote from them saying they were a perfume company and not a museum, and I still like their new versions.  Baghari is great.  Also this reminds me I need to get ahold of some of Futur, I loved it at Sniffa last fall and then … I never smelled it again.

Come on, where’s my Donna Karan Iris? I thought it was on the desk….  yeesh, Soulgasm?  Robin, you wench, you gave me this, didn’t you?   Didn’t you?!?!  Gah.  Along with those Durgas; why can’t I find those, eh?  Did you smell this Soulgasm thing?  Notes: succulent peach, Anjou pear, South African freesia, ripe black currant, wild, night-blooming jasmine, delicate Eurasian lily, multi-faceted woodberry, clean musk, warm amber, sweet French vanilla.  Room-clearing.  JM&J … I can’t believe I sprayed this on, what a dumbass I am.  Well, it was on my desk … extremely fruital.  It’s like … it’s like the clearance rack at Claire’s threw up on me.  Like liquid Lifesavers, only sweeter.  It’s like blowing Pixy Stix up my nose, and not in a good way.   Mr. Yuck, please, save me!

Chloe Eau de Fleurs Capucine –  They released these in a three-set of eaux a few months ago.  I tried Neroli at Saks and found it too herbal, and the lavender didn’t interest me.  Capucine, though … hmm.  Notes for Capucine are bergamot, lemon, neroli, galbanum, sage, juniper berry, rose, jasmine, lily of the valley, ambroxan and musk.  Wow. That’s actually pretty cool, did anyone try this?  It’s intensely green, almost bitter – like an herbal-green rather than a grassy one.   I swear to God it reminds me so much of some man-cologne from my youth – Brut, maybe?  No, something green, Mennen aftershave?   Something my dad would have worn?  No, wait!  Wait, I swear, it’s Claiborne for Men!   (Notes for Claiborne are bergamot, lavender, lemon, cyclamen, juniper, rose, carnation, cedar, patch, musk, leather, moss, amber.)  Is it even possible?  I wonder.  Anyhow, of the set, worth trying.

Roger & Gallet Amande Persane - let’s end on a high note.  While this (sadly) isn’t sitting on my desk, I wish it were.  I tried it in Paris, where it had just come out.  Notes are bergamot, mandarin orange, bitter almond, iris absolute, tonka, atlas cedar.  I am already something of a R&G fangirl; they are stocked at a funny old grocery/pharmacy near me, and I am particularly partial to Gingembre spray and the Extra-Vieille and Cedrat soaps.  Amande Persane was a warm, uncomplicated charmer, with the lightly citrusy topnotes giving way very quickly to the heart of the fragrance, an almondy musk in which the iris displays its softer, more powder/wood side, although I wouldn’t describe the fragrance as powdery.  It’s surprisingly unsweet and a bit woody in the drydown.   It’s more purely nutty than cherry-almond (Rahat, Hypnotic Poison) and it doesn’t go Play-Doh/super-powder either (Jour de Fete, POTL.)  Also, for something that is relatively light and simple, it lasted about fifteen hours on my skin.  I’m looking forward to it showing up in the US.

Samples sources: all, private collection from friends, except I’m sort of wondering about the motivations of the “friend” who sent me Soulgasm…. (insert winking emoticon here)

March

Happy Mother’s Day, those of you who partake.  Those of you with mothers.  Those of you who are mothers — in all senses of the word… I’m enjoying the freakishly cold weather here in D.C. again, playing with the sprogs, and going to Diva’s belly dancing concert later.

Anyone get or give any good loot for Mother’s Day?   Hecate gave me a couple of cards she made herself, bless her.  She’s got her own terrarium of roly-polys she’s collected.  I hope she remembers to leave the lid on.  Anyhow, I think I might buy meself a wee bottle o’perrrrfume online.  I deserve it, yes?   Today’s scent was Eau des Merveilles, I haven’t worn it in forever and forgot how much I like it.

I got a call from the Big Cheese this morning — he’s in a place called Dali (?) which is in China, he’s hanging out with a couple from Amsterdam and having fun.  He’s been gone since April, coming home the end of this month, I think.  He’s talking about some train they can take to Tibet that goes through a pass so high each seat has its own oxygen mask.  Here’s a photo (up top) he took on his nine-hour bike ride in Yangshou.

Also, regular Posse commenter and D.C. friend Sariah took off on a year-long adventure around the world, here’s a link to her travel blog.  I love to travel, albeit less exotically, and I’m married to Mr. Travel himself.  I’m looking forward to following Sariah’s adventures and I thought you might be interested as well.

So, that’s it.  I’m offline today, living life rather than blogging about it.  Cheers.  See you tomorrow.

March

It’s election night and the buffet’s all lined up, even though it’s a love/hate thing for me. My stupid elbow is on a slow recovery route and that means limited extra-curricular typing (can’t do much about my actual workload though, eh?).  I thought I’d share a couple of thoughts with you.

Current garden highlights: It’s all gauzy English spring round these parts right now. Apple blossom, cherry blossom, lilac blossom. Looking out my back windows across the garden to the church, it’s pillows of whites and pinks – candyfloss colours resting on a lime green bed. But for me, the wonder of the moment is the last narcissus of the season to flower – poeticus ‘Actaea’. Irritating, as it hangs its head as though in shame – shame perhaps of its carnal, lustful perfume with the hint of the crypt, a limbcoiling of the most voluptuous with the soon-to-be-rotting. But I’ll forgive it its bended-head annoyances for the unnervingly lovely juxtaposition of beauty and the beast. Like the daphnes P wrote about yesterday really. See the photo – I’ve got it contrasted with forget-me-nots throughout the garden. But you can’t smell a pic. And man, that scent’s everywhere, with apple blossom mingling in for added KAPOW! factor.

Current perfume highlights: they’re limited. I think I can count on both hands the number of new perfumes I’ve tried since the start of 2009. I’m pretty contented with my stack, though they’re no longer highlights. A background thrum of pleasure, perhaps. I must get my arse into gear though. I need to start the sampling mania again. I might be missing it.

Current TV highlights: season 2 of Nurse Jackie. Is it wrong to see lots of myself in her? Not that I’m having an affair or popping dubiously acquired pills or snorting said pills or nursing fantastically or caring for two girls or living in Queens. And I never chew gum.  Glee of course, but then I’d have to hand back my gay badge/button if I didn’t. Not that I really know how to wear that effectively. However, Will Schuester’s preppy snap and ‘lessons in life’ leanings and puppy eyes and low body fat face and needy earnestness and whole schtick drive me doolally. And the schmaltz sometimes makes me yearn for some heavy duty grease dissolver. Why the hell am I watching this drivel?

Share yours and I’ll respond to comments later (after physio!).

Lee