Scrubbers

 

by Ann

 

 

 

As a perfume lover, I find I’m getting braver as time goes on.

As little as 2 years ago, I wouldn’t go near a leather scent, gave

lavender a wide berth, and avoided cumin like the plague (still do mostly).

 

But now I’m branching out and have discovered a few scents
I like containing those previously-shunned notes.
In fact, I’ve found I’m really enjoying experimenting and getting out of my
comfort zone. I’ve even tried several scents considered

to be controversial.

 

Fortunately, all through my sampling I’ve never actually experienced a scrubber.
Until now.

 

I have met my match and it came from a most unlikely source.
With all my years around ink, printing presses,
and the like, I would have thought Byredo’s M/Mink would be instant love,
or at least OK. (I’m a fan of several of their scents, BTW.)

But one spritz and something so sharp rose up from my wrist
that I could almost see a tiny dark cloud forming.

A harsh smell which I can only describe as alternating between burnt plastic

and metal quivered my liver, as Musette would say,

and nearly drove me to the sink.

 

Now I’m not one to give up easily, so in the interest of giving it a fair shot, I’m

holding out as long as I can. Right now, as I type this,
I’m holding my head as far away as humanly possible from
my right wrist.

 

Still feeling a bit green around the gills, I sniff it again a good 30 to 40 minutes in.

The almost-chemical, plasticky-metallic smell remains, just a touch

less intense. I don’t think any of my rescue scents can save it.

 

Come on, old girl, I tell myself, give it just a little longer.

It might yet have an unexpectedly happy ending.

 

And so I wait. Now well beyond the hour mark, more of the same.

I’ve read other people who have gotten some great notes out of it.
Where’s the lovely, woody incense? The warm honey

and amber? The patchouli?  Arggh.

 

Alas, 2 hours later, I pack it in. I have done my duty

and now I must surrender. I cannot go to bed

with this on my wrist. My date with industrial-strength Tide awaits.

 

(My apologies to those of you who love this unusual scent;

I’m glad it works for you.)

So please share your horror stories. What scents have sent you

scrambling to the sink?

  • Fernando says:

    We recently had one like that: Untitled by Martin Margiela. It smelled like stale cigarettes on my wife, and she went immediately into the shower.

    • Ann says:

      Oh, no, sorry that happened. I kind of like the Untitled, but I can definitely see how it might go wrong on some people.

  • Pimpinett says:

    I love a lot of common scrubbers, including M/Mink, Angel and Borneo 1834 (no offense taken!). I’m kind of intrigued by what people write about Sécretions Magnifiques – I’ll have to order a sample, I’m rarely that put off by anything. There are fragrances I dislike – many generic-smelling men’s fragrances are pretty bad, for example, I tend to avoid people smelling of Le Mâle with offspring and knock-offs, but real scrubbers… they are few and far between.

    • Ann says:

      So glad you’re enjoying those. You must have exceptional skin chemistry to wear all of them.
      Would love to hear your take on the SM, so do let us know when you try it. Thanks!

      • Pimpinett says:

        I’m probably lucky. Hardly anything goes really off on my skin, in my experience, I can’t remember the last time something really turned on me…

        Oh! Right! It may be supposed to smell like that, but Vamp á New York was completely inexplicable to me, pure chewing gum. Incrediby sweet and cloying, didn’t get it at all.

        • Ann says:

          You are very fortunate to have most things work on you. It’s interesting that you mention the Vamp, it didn’t work on me, but for exactly the opposite reason. Chemistry’s everything …

  • Vasily says:

    Mention of oudhs brought to mind two oudh samples I’ve tried that were so animalic I felt like cutting my arm off after applying them: Oriscent Assam Organic and Oriscent Wild Himalaya. They literally smelled like a pile of rotting zoo manure on a hot summer day. I shudder now just remembering them; two of my three most repulsive fragrance experiences, along with the aforementioned Art of Perfumery #2, which smelled of citrus mixed with rancid butter and rotten teeth. No joke.

    • Ann says:

      Hi, Vasily. I, too, have sniffed a couple of ouds that were borderline repulsive. Sorry yours were especially awful. It’s enough to put you off the whole lot of them, except that there are some nicely done ones out there.

      • Vasily says:

        Oh, yes, I’m definitely pro-oudh, just not into the animalic ones. I own a very nice Borneo oudh, and tend to very much like oudhs from Borneo and Indonesia, and to loathe oudhs from China and Nepal. My favorite frag using oudh as a note is L’Artisan Al Oudh, which is on my list of bottle-worthy frags.

  • Flora says:

    I try to give everything a fighting chance, but sometimes even I am forced to scrub. (I won’t include things that have never touched my skin, like White Diamonds. Less said about that the better.)

    Cartier Roadster is pretty vile – icy metallic bug spray, it’s what Imperial Storm Troopers from Star Wars would wear, if they wore fragrance.

    Teint de Neige – an avalanche of suffocating powdered sugar, like drowning in a vat of it. I like a sweet perfume as well as anyone but OMG that stuff is tooth decay in a bottle.

    Believe it or not, Amouage Opus V – eek, WAAAAY too much cumin, smells like cat pee,applied to the end of the ice pick that’s shoved up my nose. No.Way. And I am a huge fan of Amouage!

    Gres Fleur de Cabotine is a sickly chemical white floral that I tried to like but no deal. The poison-green packaging is definitely truth in advertising! It is kind of a stealth scrubber, not too bad at first but then you realize you are feeling a little queasy. Then a LOT queasy. Then oh no I have to get this OFF me right now before I hurl!

    Yes, Borneo 1834 is on my scrubber list too – it’s just TOO. MUCH.PATCH. Really, does anyone really need to kill cloth-eating moths with their perfume these days?

    And last but not least: Montale Chocolate Greedy and Jo Malone Blue Agave & Cacao – a virtual tie for a truly sickening chocolate note, like stale, dusty cocoa powder clashing furiously with all the other notes. Blecch. Chocolate notes can be well done, but these are deal-breakers for me.

    • Ann says:

      Your post is too funny, Flora! The part about the Storm Troopers had me rolling on the floor! I’ve not tried any of your scrubbers, save for the Borneo. I agree that it’s just too much musty old patch.

  • Lizzie says:

    I completely agree with you about M/Mink- it’s vile! To me, it mostly smells overwhelmingly of blood, which is bad enough in and of itself. But there’s something more in it, one of the notes that I suffered through two whole days of pain to identify. To explain, I have a short story…

    Once upon a time, I was flying home from a very fine vacation in San Diego when my plane hit the mother of all thunderstorms. There was a bit of turbulence, but everything was more or less okay for several minutes before the other shoe dropped. Suddenly, the plane was dipping and swerving all around, lightning and thunder everywhere, and people started screaming.

    And then there was this smell in the air- a sharp, rancid, horrible scent, the smell of terrified people.

    And I swear to God, *that’s* what I get out of M/Mink. That and blood. Is it any wonder I can’t stand it?

    • mals86 says:

      True, you *can* smell fear.

      • Ann says:

        That’s just what I was thinking. If that’s what I got out of the M/Mink, then it’s no wonder I recoiled.

    • Ann says:

      Lizzie, that is so horrible. What a terrible thing to go through. I hope everyone was OK.
      I agree, you don’t need to be smelling anything that will bring back that traumatic experience. Grab your favorite fragrance and spray liberally to help wash away that awful scent memory.

  • tmp00 says:

    the mist recent and most egregious was SL Jeux de Peau. Absolutely awful on me. Like rancid movie popcorn in a pre-Giuliani Times Square movie theater.

    SM is scary awful, but they kind of meant it to be I guess. I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone say something nice about it.

    • Ann says:

      Hey, Tom, thanks for stopping by. I kinda like the Jeux de Peau but know several folks who said it nearly made them sick to their stomach. It’s an iffy one, for sure. And as I’ve said before, I’m not going anywhere near the SM, no way, no how!!

    • mariekel says:

      oooh, yes, forgot about that one (or blocked it)! I tried it on in Barney’s and was so horrified I frantically demanded alcohol soaked cotton balls by the handful from the woman at the nearest cosmetics counter.

      • mariekel says:

        The Jeux de Peau, I meant. Have only sniffed SM in the bottle and that was enough for me.

  • Ann says:

    Thanks, nozknoz. I can feel your pain on the Ubar; I tried it awhile back and it was just too rich or something and unsettled my stomach.
    A shame though on the Berlin — would’ve made a great souvenir of your trip!

  • nozknoz says:

    Great topic! M/MInk did sound pretty weird, so I’m not surprised. The idea of ink and fur together doesn’t appeal to me, although I will probably try it eventually out of curiosity.

    I often try scents that I don’t care for and wash them off in order to have space for something good. But in terms of perfumes I really can’t stand, Amouage Ubar (women’s) really does me in. There’s a Joop! scent that has the same note – Berlin, I think. Whatever it is, I must be hyperosmic to it. Blecch – I bought a bottle of Berlin on a trip to Berlin, and I had to triple bag it and put it in a remote closet until I could get rid of it. Also really dislike Carven Ma Griffe. It would be OK but there’s a note in it that turns my stomach. Too bad – such a great name!

  • Ann says:

    Millicent, thanks for mentioning that one. You’re right, I think it’s gotten a lot of mixed reviews, but I’ve never sampled it. Those who love it, really love it, and those who don’t, well …

  • Millicent says:

    Can’t believe no one has mentioned Teint de Neige! I’d read a lot about it before I finally tried it…thought “Oh, this isn’t so bad.” Five minutes later I was running to the sink, “Yes, it is, yes it IS, ew ew ew!”

    But hats off to those you who love it. Some day I’d like to smell it on someone else.

  • Kirsten says:

    For me, it’s all of the Montale Aouds…and I ordered a whole sampler set from Luckyscent :(
    I just knew before I opened the little sack – got a little wiff of something and – uh-oh – this is not going to end well!

    I’m guessing its cumin, but whatever it is, on me it goes all sour celery, cheap acryclic t-shirt, underarm BO of the worst kind. Aaack!

    Alas, SL Chene and ELDO Like This gradually go the same way. How can something go from being so beautiful to ” Sniff, Sniff, Hey, that can’t be me!? I showered this morning, and sprayed deoderant, at least twice!?! “

    • Ann says:

      Hi, Kirsten. So did you bravely open the bag and try any or did you double-bag it unsniffed and hide it away? I’m with you on cumin; my skin just seems to amplify it. A perfect waste of a good shower, right?
      I do envy those who can wear it well though.

  • Darryl says:

    Tauer’s Eau d’Epices was one of my most intense, throbbing lemmings in the past year – descriptions and reviews made it sound directly up my alley. I got a sample from LuckyScent, dabbed it on eagerly, and was confronted with one of the most unholy miasmas of gross I’ve ever allowed near my nose. It was this abstract, rotten-candy sweet, harshly chemical, herbaceous, shrieking horror that smelled nothing like its promised spices, wood, and dusty incense. My skin apparently makes all the Tauers curdle and die slow, agonizing (and LOUD) deaths – L’Air du Desert Marocain and Incense Extreme fared no better. It was baffling, and slightly heartbreaking. I’m now reluctant to try any of his others, although Rose Chyprée and Vetiver Dance sound awfully intriguing.

    Speaking of Lush, I tried Lust in the store when it was released and wanted to saw my arm off about 20 minutes later. Intriguingly fruity jasmine overlaid with mold, death, and melting plastic, dialed up to 11 and screaming bloody murder. I’m still shaken.

    • Ann says:

      Darryl, you’re right; there may be something in the Tauer-ade that disagrees with you. I’ve been hit or miss with the line myself although it is well-made and Andy’s a gem. But it’s that chemistry factor again. Hope you recover soon from your Lush trauma.

  • mariekel says:

    Tragically, I have had a few truly well-loved and respected perfumes make me feel queasy, including — dare I say it – Chanel Cuir de Russie and Diorling. There is a similar note — not leather — in both that is kind of like decaying tobacco leaves macerated in grape juice to my nose. There are an unfortunate number of others — Juicy Couture, Missoni, Dammuso (by Pantellaria. Dead ringer for Noxema), Roja Dove’s Scandal, ELDO Rossy de Palma and most recently, the lovely Andy T’s Cariilon des Anges and Lush’s Imogen Rose. Something in all of the fragrances makes me feel seasick. I think I must have got a lot more sensitive to scent as I have, ehem, matured.

    And don’t get me started on Angel.

    • Ann says:

      Mariekel, I wonder what the culprit is in those scents. Would be good to know for future reference so you could avoid it. I have not tried several of those, but the Carillon was way too screechy on me.

  • AnnS says:

    It is so fun to read everyone’s scrubbers! I rarely have an I-am-going-to-die-right-now scrubber. But two come to mind: for some strange reason, although it makes no sense from the notes list, Amouage Lyric for Men made me want to cut off my nose and gouge my eyes out. It was an instantaneous reaction, and I’ve never been brave enough to try it again. And a recent swap had an unlabeled, leaking (vintage?) vial that was so vile, that I had to throw it out immediately. It even stunk up my garbage can, through the plastic liner. Because it was leaking I got a bit on my hands. The only thing that removed it was some Oxy, which I know you aren’t supposed to put directly on your skin, but I was willing to take the chance. I kept having fantom wafts of it the next day. I have no idea what it was, but it smelled like mothballs, old tin, and rotten attic wood. Thankfully this doesn’t happen often.

    • Ann says:

      Oh, Ann, now THAT’s what you call a violent scrubber! I’m curious if you were able to wear the Lyric for women. Or did the men’s frighten you off from trying it? I do envy you for being able to wear the Yurman, though.

      • AnnS says:

        Hi Ann: I can wear Lyric Women, although from time to time it can make me a bit clausterphobic. It can grow more intense for soem reason. I only have a small decant which will last me a longgg time. I unscrew the sprayer and use the stem to dab. It’s just so hit or miss with fragrances – I love the current version of Amouage Gold for men, but I know a lot of people think it is not good. The David Yurman is still random for me, so I will certainly enjoy the cast-off – one ounce is the perfect amount to be indecisive. Some days it smells great, and some days it does not. I try not to apply it on my neck – just the wrists in case it’s an off day.

  • Elisa says:

    Scrubbers for me include Balenciaga Rumba (’80s bathroom air freshener, including the bathroom); Serge Lutens Louve (one of the only samples I’ve ever straight up thrown away — oddly I kind of liked it on paper, in the store); some Tokyo Milk scent that was supposed to smell like honey but came off like cheap chocolate and lasted for three days, ruining all other perfumes I tried; Le Parfum de Therese (smelled like seafood casserole … need to retry this one someday but I’m scared). Also L’Eau d’Issey and Clinique Happy when I tried them recently, though I wore both in the ’90s, somehow.

    • Ann says:

      Oh, no Elisa! Seafood casserole, you say? Very interesting. That one didn’t sit quite right with me either but sounds like you got an extreme reaction. The Louve is one of the few Serges I’ve not tried, so if I ever come across it, I’ll be very cautious.

  • HemlockSillage says:

    Scrubbers, thy name is legion.

    Acutally, I hate to name my worst scrubber; I’m terrified it will be someone’s beloved perfume, and I wouldn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. Body chemistry is everything.

    My absolute worst was a sample from a famous desginer and it poured all over my hand and arm as it opened. It was a terrible miasma of fake fruit and plastic atop syrupy sweet praline, amber and patchouli and would. not. wash. off. I even tried soaking my hand in oil for a while, then washing off the oil. Then tomato juice, as if I’d been hit by a skunk. Nope, it would not budge.

    For some bizarro reason, I’ve kept a sample of it. It’s like my nuclear arsenal or strange dare. I can’t believe it was *really* that bad on me. Perhaps my tastes will change? I can’t in conscience send it to anyone else, either :D

    Oh, and the entire Burberry line has something in the base that turns to tenacious bug spray on me within 5-10 minutes. I love it on others, but on me it is awful. May your scented adventures be fun, even in the silliness of finding fragrant stinkers. Be well.

    • Aparatchick says:

      “as if I’d been hit by a skunk” Hahahaha! If it’s on the level of nuclear arsenal, perhaps you should keep it to ward off burglars. ;-)

      I have the same problem with Burberry. Smells great on a co-worker, but it’s bug spray on me.

    • Ann says:

      Aw, come on, you can name it :) You’re among friends. Everyone’s scrubber is someone else’s beloved, it seems. It must have been something if even the skunk treatment didn’t phase it. Like Aparatchick said, it could be handy against intruders. Ha! The police could find them by smell alone.

      • Wendy says:

        This actually happened in 2009 in the Netherlands (“aftershave gives away car burglar”), when a suspect who was apprehended by the police reeked of the same aftershave whose sent trail lingered in the van that was broken into . Weird, this was in 2009 but i remembered it straigth away… thought it was really funny! unfortunately the article does not mentioned what the aftershave was…

  • Nan says:

    Oh, I forgot, I’m one of those rare folks whose skin does not like scents with Boronia. The up side is that Boronia scents tend to be expensive.

    • Ann says:

      Hi, Nan. Well, that’s a good indicator: “Warning: Boronia ahead. Do Not Try.” BTW, what scents that you know of contain it?

  • barbaram says:

    Tocade-a gift that I repeatedly spritzed-and repeatedly scrubbed.Something bitter in the base with a rancid bottom of the trash smell.Cartier’s Kiss of the Dragon was a loud attack- a stalker that forced me to scrub, wash sheets and all my clothing that I was wearing.Yurman??Better stick to jewelry-another I wanted to love-so darkly monotone the peonies died, smothered by the patch.After scrubbing, had do do laundry

    • Ann says:

      The gift that keeps on giving, eh? And not in a good way. I wanted to like the Yurman, too, but something in there just kept bugging me. So I ended up swapping it to a good home.

  • Patty says:

    Ha! That was exactly my experience with M/Mink, only I didn’t have your fortitude. I headed for the sink immediately and started scrubbing. Of course, as with any fragrance we can’t stand, it refused to come off! This one is second only to Secretions Magnifiques in terms of my revulsion level.

    As for other scrubbers – too many to name or even remember. Most things are scrubbers on me; I’m overjoyed when I find something that I can stand smelling for more than half an hour.

    • Ann says:

      Hi, Patty. I was sorely tempted to make for the sink, believe me. I just kept thinking it would get better and morph into something wonderful. That’s skin chemistry for you, though. Don’t think I will ever be brave enough to try the SM, however. Glad you’re finding at least a few things to like at least.

  • Claudia says:

    My 2 worst scent experiences were Onda and a sample of something by Soivohle. I’m at work and don’t have my notes, but whatever that one was, it smelled like rotting vegetation and worms. Horrible.

    • Ann says:

      That does sound awful. I’m not familiar with any of the Soivohles but the Vero scents do seem to be getting extreme reactions on here today. I’ve only tried the Kiki so far.

      • Claudia says:

        I’ve tried Vero Kiki and Rubj (how DO you pronounce that?)and liked them okay, but the Onda knocked me out. I read a lot of reviews before I tried it from people saying how much they liked it and how different it was. Different, yes, in a horrible way. And the Soivohle was so bad I have always wondered if my sample hadn’t spoiled some how. Because the rest of the samples I tried weren’t bad, but that one, wow. I’ll have to look it up to remember what the name was.

  • jen says:

    I like rose, but a sample of rose musc drove me crazy, I couldnt get away from it and had to spray my arm with something else after scrubbing.

  • maggiecat says:

    These have been fun to read! For myself, the wrost scrubbers are the “surprises” – the ones that, according to the notes and/or reviews I SHOULD like. I already know that tuberose and I dislike each other intensely: Poison is named well, as far as I’m concerned, and even the softer, gentler, newer tuberose scents make me recoil. I thought I’d love Illuminum’s White Gardenia Petals, and haunted Luckyscent to procure samples for weeks. When it arrived – all I got, after several tries, was a sharp, plastic-y vaguely green scent. Most unpleasant. And I was thrilled to receive a sample of puredistance’s Antonia, which by all indications I should love: on me it’s a sort of rotten metallic-plastic. Mechanical smelling, yet in an unwholesome way. Go figure. More for the rest of you!

    • Nan says:

      That one didn’t work on me either.

      • mals86 says:

        Or me. And I usually LOVE green florals. (Didn’t like Envy, either, for that matter – all chemically nasty.)

    • Ann says:

      Hi, Maggiecat, isn’t that always the way? The ones that ought to be instant love too often end up being the biggest fails. So sorry the WGP didn’t agree with you and Nan; it reminded me a bit of Calyx so I kind of liked it.

      • Ann says:

        I kind of liked the Antonia; it reminded me of one of my faves, Ralph Lauren Safari. I wish Luckyscent would get in more samples of the White Gardenia Petals, as I’d love to try that one more extensively. But I could definitely see how you could get a plastic-y vibe from it.

  • Kit says:

    The only two I can remember actually running for the sink (I tried to stoically outlast Onda) were Delrae’s Bois de Paradis and Tauer’s Le Maroc pour Elle. Both were absolutely foul on me, the BdP enough so that my roommate actually recoiled from me the moment I walked into the room. It’s sad, because from the notes, I should have liked it. And then, of course, I have the Skin Where Violets Go to Die. I have learned to avoid anything with violets like the plague. It just never turns out well.

    • Ann says:

      Hi, Kit. I wasn’t crazy about the BdP either but have not tried that Tauer, although there is something in some of those that doesn’t agree with me. I hope one day you’ll find that rare violet that does work for you.

  • Teri says:

    Worst ever was PG’s Bois de Copaiba. Should have worked – citrus and woods, what could go wrong? Well, as it turned out everything. Only scent that ever truly nauseated me.

    I’ve had a few others that I thought were fine on other people, but just didn’t work for me, several of whom were mentioned above – Bulgari Black, Anat Fritz – Macadam (PG, I think), a couple of the Boadiceas, and sadly, Shalimar which turns straight to cat pee on me.

    • Ann says:

      I hate it when something that sounds so perfect goes so wrong.
      Have not tried that PG and some of the others you mentioned, but I hear you on the Shalimar. It just plain doesn’t like us, I guess. I have had better luck with the Ode de la Vanille thing, and the Initial wasn’t too bad, but it’s a shame not to be able to wear the classic.

  • Vasily says:

    Certain notes give me an instant headache: something in the truly hideous Obsession does this for me, as do any frags with nutmeg or cardamom. Which is weird, because I love nutmeg and cardamom as spices. Some roses do the same for me. Here are the frags that have induced violent scrubbing for me: L’Artisan Traversee du Bosphore, Ormond Jayne Zizan, Malle Musc Ravageur, A*MEN Pure Malt, Tauer Carillon Pour un Ange, Comme des Garcons Wonderwood and Odeur 71 and Number 2 Homme (though I like the regular Number 2), Brandy, Guerlain Jicky, John Varvatos, SMN Nostalgia, Le Labo Rose 31, Laura Biagotti Roma Uomo, Art of Perfumery #2 and #6, Pour un Homme de Caron, MPG Centaure, Creed Sliver Mountain Water and Green Irish Tweed. Good Lord, it’s a wonder I still keep trying. :o

    • Ann says:

      Hi, Vasily, you’re the second person to mention Obsession.
      Wow! I think you win the award for having the most scrubbers. You get major kudos for hanging in there. The very next sample could be love, so hope springs eternal.

      • mals86 says:

        Oh, I hate Obsession too. Just didn’t mention it above – I had so many…

        • Ann says:

          And here I kind of liked it back in the day, because it kind of reminded me of one of my Cartiers, which was better, but waaay more expensive. Just goes to show you one person’s poison …

  • Lisa D says:

    It took me a few moments to recall this one – I think I must have tried to repress the memory – but here it is, in all its disrespectful glory – HABANITA. Without a doubt, this smells like bug spray on my skin. Really bad-ass bug spray, the kind that sends roaches skittering into cracks in the floorboards, alters DNA and has the half-life of uranium. The skin on my wrist was raw from the scrubbing.

    I’ve strongly disliked a few other scents (though none to the extent of Habanita) that have been listed here – Dinner by Bobo, Anat Fritz and Borneo have been definite misses for me – as well as Abinoam’s Desejo.

    Hmmm. I might have to run right now to the perfume cupboard and splash on something lovely, to ward off the bad scent memories.

    • Ann says:

      Hi, Lisa, I can see that with the Habanita, although it’s much more bearable on me. Good idea — put on something you love to wash away the bad scent memory.

  • kjanicki says:

    Tauer Carillon pour un Ange: Everyone but me loves this. On me it’s rotten vase water.

    Tom Ford Black Orchid: rotten mushrooms. I had to find a bathroom in the store and scrub this off after I tested it. After scubbing, I realized that I liked the vanilla that still clung to my skin, but the top notes were hideous.

    • Ann says:

      I wanted to like the Tauer, too, but it came off way too shrill and screechy on my skin, until it finally died down an hour or two later.
      Re: the Tom Ford — Don’t you wish we could do “scent surgery”? You could just cut out the part you hated and get right to the good stuff.

    • TaffyJ says:

      Oh right, Black Orchid. I tested it at Sephora on my lunch hour and had to go back to work. Not sure if I got the rotten mushrooms, but for a short time I felt like PigPen with a dust cloud above my head.

    • Pklagrange says:

      My least favorite of the Tauer scents

  • Maureen says:

    I received a sample of Anat Fritz as part of a grab bag draw. I gagged and could not scrub it off fast enough. Something in it I just.did.not.like. So of course I googled it and found a review from Tom at perfume smelling things. He really likes it. Maybe I will have to try it again sometime…I thought of throwing it out, but changed my mind and put it away. Everything else I was gifted with was lovely…especially the Roma Imperiale which I LOVED, but cannot justify spending those kind of bucks on. Maybe Santa will bring it?

    • Ann says:

      Oh, man, that feeling is the worst, isn’t it? If you try it again, you’re braver than I am. I couldn’t give it away fast enough. But glad you liked the rest of your goodies.

  • mals86 says:

    The most recent one? Love, Chloe. Rancid old makeup. People recoiled from my arm. I rode it out, but my family insisted that I leave the room.

    I love me some Laurie Erickson, but Vintage Rose – which ought to be my thang according to the notes list, and which I’ve tried six times, from three separate samples – never works. The longest I’ve made it before scrubbing: 18 minutes.

    Similarly, all the Estee Lauders. Every one of them (except Pure White Linen Light Breeze, which is boring and has pretty much no base at all, and Private Collection Tuberose Gardenia, which is nice but didn’t inspire me) has something in the base that forces me to scrub after approximately 1.5 to 2 hours, no matter how lovely the rest of it was. I can’t even SMELL what is bugging me, it just makes me nauseous. A shame, really – two of my aunts wear Lauder scents and they smell great.

    • mals86 says:

      Oh, and Penhaligon’s Bluebell. I thought it was gorgeous for five minutes, all spicy hyacinth, and then it turned into Toxic Waste Dump.

      • Ann says:

        Hi, Mals! Rancid makeup? Sounds horrible. As for the Estee Lauders, I’ve heard several other people say there’s something in the base that’s all wrong. Not a huge fan myself but I do like some Private Collection and Sensuous once in a while. And sorry to hear that about the Bluebell — it sounds so innocuous and lovely, too.

    • Nan says:

      Those EL’s do it to me too. Alas, I cannot stomach her Tuberose Gardenia at all; it, like the rest, turns sour and poisonous within less than a minute. I cannot even abide to be in close proximity to people who wear ELs.

      But my holy grail of scrubbers is L’Artisan’s Fou’d’Absinthe. Yes, it gets rave reviews, and my sample was pressed on my by a kindly sales rep who thought he was doing me a favor; he pressed quite a few samples on me that day, most of which I liked and are long gone. But I cannot even get my sample of F’ou d’Absinthe out of its two zip-locked bags without getting ill. I contemplated giving it to the 17-year-old son, who tends to like that kind of thing, but decided against it for self-preservation purposes.

      • Ann says:

        Hi, Nan. I think you’ve gotta give it to someone you rarely see and who lives far, far away, so there’s no chance you’d ever smell it on them.

  • bookhouseshell says:

    Eponymous Agent Provocateur and Maybe Baby by Benefit. Both were toxic waste dumps featuring burning plastic on me.

    • Ann says:

      Yuck — sounds awful. Give those babies away pronto!

    • DJ says:

      Agent Provocateur smells good on me and is about one of the few perfumes that do smell good on me–isn’t chemistry fascinating?

      my scrubbers: coco (sad face–it smells so good on others!) chanel no 5 (sacriledge?) the modern version of rochas femme, almost any Guerlain (unfair unfair unfair) Malle’s Noir Epices, Byredo Pulp ( love the open, detest and feel ill about 5mins later), and so many more…maybe my stomach and nose hate each other.

      • DJ says:

        oh, 2 more notable scrubbers: balkiss and TF purple patchouli (actually I loved the first 10 mins of purple patchouli and then it was headache/stomachache all the way and now I am afraid to try Tuscan Leather)

        I am actually embarrassed by my list! (except for Secretions Magnifiques, that stuff is vile vile vile. I didn’t even put it on my skin, and was still retching 2 hours later, just from sniffing the bottle)

        • Ann says:

          Hey, DJ, don’t feel bad. You are not alone. Most of the early Chanels (except for 22 and Cristalle) and nearly all of the classic Guerlains are awful on me. By rights, I should be able to love Shalimar, but noooo.
          So I’m glad you found the Agent and like it.

          • DJ says:

            Ann,

            I have the same issue with Shalimar, too.

            so–what smells good on you? I need to know, because perhaps we are chemistry ‘twins’ :)

          • Ann says:

            Hi, DJ! In the Guerlains, I can wear most of the more recent scents (Cruel Gardenia, Spiritueuse Double Vanille, Tonka Imperiale, etc.), but as far as the older ones, I’ve only been able to do the Attrape-Coeur and perhaps Chamade. Haven’t tried their signature classics in extrait form, however, which many say is the way to go.
            In the Chanels, I like 22, old and new Cristalle; and Coromandel, Bel Respiro and the eau de cologne in the Exclusifs range.
            What are your faves?

  • Marsha says:

    Aromatics Elixir was a scrubber for me too. It smelled like cigarette ashes on me whereas it smells like a wonderful soft, spicy, oriental on my cousin. I love Youth Dew, but you need to apply it with a toothpick! I’ve found that a better way to use Youth Dew is to buy the bath oil, apply some to a cotton ball, let it dry thoroughly, and then just put the cotton ball in your purse. I do this, and when I open my purse, everyone around me asks *What smells so good?*

    • Ann says:

      I’ve heard many people praise the bath oil, so maybe that’s the way to go. Love your cotton ball idea — thanks!

  • Aparatchick says:

    Besides the above-mentioned Borneo, the biggest scrubber on me was L’eau d’Issey. I think I was deceived by the descriptions of it being a “soft, fresh, floral” scent. I eagerly sprayed it on and then actually recoiled from my own arm. It was one big vat of chemical stew on me. With a touch of insecticide. And a side of the infamous Tampax Fresh Accord. Just awful.

    At least the bottle is pretty.

    • Ann says:

      Ew, sorry that it went that way on you. I guess even the most innocent-sounding scents have a dark side. And for a while there, it seemed like every third person had it on.

    • jen says:

      Uh oh,I just ordered some of this, hope it does ok on me.

      • Ann says:

        Jen, you should be OK — just make your first spray very, very tiny and see how it goes …

      • Aparatchick says:

        Jen, there have been plenty of things that are horrible on me, but perfectly lovely on other people. Here’s hoping it will be lovely on you!

  • Barbara says:

    A couple of years ago I was reading the blogs and realized I had never really smelled Youth Dew. I was at the mall and decided to try it on my way out. OMG!! Thought I was going to hurl on my way home in the car (only 2 miles btw). Had to take a shower when I got home and still COULD NOT GET IT OFF!! How anyone can wear this is beyond me!!

    • mals86 says:

      Youth Dew is one of the few absolutely *guaranteed* to make me feel queasy, even after many, many years of smelling it on other people.

      • Ann says:

        Oh mercy — the bane of my childhood! Too many elderly ladies oversprayed it and wore it to church and nearly asphyxiated the rest of the congregation. But I think just a drop “might” work on a very cold winter day.

  • Musette says:

    My Holy Grail of Scrubbers is always – and always shall be – Clinique Aromatics Elixir. I actually find it very beautiful….for about 1.2 seconds. Then I get a migraine about the size of Nacogdoches, TX and…well, how bad is it? One time I got it on a chair and I had to leave the house until El O could wrestle the chair out onto the porch! Fans going full blast in the house (luckily this was in summer)…..I had to take a shower, then I had to leave the house for awhile…and do you know that stuff was STILL in the air, when I came home an hour later? 😮

    I swear, you can smell that stuff on Jupiter.

    xo >-)

    • Sapphire says:

      Have never been a fan of Aromatics Elixir, but I grew up in Nacogdoches, TX (population about 30K). I never expected to seen it mentioned in a perfume blog. Are you from East Texas, too?

      • Ann says:

        Too funny! That stuff is mighty potent. A dear friend and co-worker of mine wore it, but very sparingly, and that was almost bearable.

      • Musette says:

        OMG! That is TOO funny! Nothing like the internet to close that 6 Degrees gap!

        I have a customer in Nacogdoches and we were just emailing back and forth about the insane heat they are suffering down there – I think that’s why it stuck in my head. 😕

        Sapphire, just stop for a minute and ponder: Aromatics of Dooom in 100+F heat. In East Texas. x(

        xo your 6 Degrees of >-)

        • Sapphire says:

          Yup. I live in the Dallas area now, and it is hotter here than in Nac, but Nac makes up for it in humidity. All of my winter comfort scents are completely overwhelming, but Lancome O de L’Orangerie has been working out pretty well.

  • Style Spy says:

    Aimez Moi tried to kill me. It was like someone was driving an ice pick into my brain right between my eyes.

    I believe it was Dinner by Bobo that gave me recourse to a Mr. Clean Magic Sponge to get. it. off. me. NOW. (Note: Do NOT use a Mr. Clean Magic Sponge on your skin. It magically REMOVES skin.)

  • Debbie R. says:

    Well, out of 530+ sampled, here are the highlights:

    Borneo – straight up vomitus

    Poison – too-strong tuberose over roadkill

    Secretions Magnifique – the grand prize winner in the scrubber category. A serial killer’s basement; likes knives and nursing mothers. This one actually did make me gag and induced nausea.

    Brin de Reglisse – Herbal lavendar at the beginning and then herbs mixed with salty licorice at the end. How could a gourmand go so wrong?

    Ralph Lauren Notorious – Rotting fruit.

    • Aparatchick says:

      Thank you, Debbie! I’m not alone! Everyone else raves about Borneo, and the notes would indicate that it was right up my alley, but it was, as you say, straight up vomitus on me as well.

    • mals86 says:

      Tuberose over roadkill!! I’ve never gotten THAT out of Poison. Though I don’t, generally, care for it. It’s always seemed to me to smell truly poisonous, like whatever-it-was that the Evil Queen dipped Snow White’s apple in.

      • mals86 says:

        And SM. I had been expecting, you know… what do they call it around here? boy juice? Instead I got the bloody knives you mention. It made me feel genuinely terrified.

        • Debbie R. says:

          Yeah, that is really a bad one. Really bad.

          As for Poison, a memory of some roadkill on a hot day at an air show forever imprinted itself in my memory. I swear I got that in Poison.

    • Joanna says:

      Oh gawd I forgot about Secretions Magnifique until you mentioned it. Actually I think my brain may have been protecting me by blocking that memory. I tried it and Divin’Enfant on the same day and they both made me sick to my stomach.

    • Ann says:

      Wow! Some really strong reactions there. Borneo wasn’t quite that bad on me but was unpleasantly musty. I much prefer the Cartier Defendue for my chocolatey-patchouli fix. I can wear Poison if it’s just a tiny drop. And as for the SM, not going there EVER!!

      • Debbie R. says:

        LOL! good decision

        Well, if it’s any consolation, my reactions to some fragrances are as intensely positive as those are negative. What happened with the above….the fragrances caused instantaneous imagery and reaction. She asked for scrubbers…

      • Debbie R. says:

        Wait. That was *you* who wrote the above and asked for scrubbers. You know the old Chinese saying, “Be careful what you wish for…” LOL! Thanks for writing the above. It was great fun going through my reviews and picking out the worst of the worst. There are plenty of one-star fragrances, but these were the ones that were really sickening. All of this fragrance sampling has been so much fun and an adventure. I think it’s helped me with this disability retirement alot. A whole new world with its own good, bad and ugly.

        One could wonder if I watch too many police dramas, etc.

        • Ann says:

          Hi, Debbie! Glad you’re enjoying the wonderful world of fragrance. It really is an adventure.
          And when we find scents we hate, there’s always someone out there who loves them and will happily take them off our hands, so it all works out quite nicely.

  • Olfacta says:

    The other day a cousin was visiting and she asked me if there were any perfumes I have that the DH actually likes. I picked “Boudoir” (VW) and sprayed some on my wrist. Now, I haven’t worn that during the day, ever — it’s strictly for after dark — and right away I realized I’d made a mistake. We were going grocery shopping. “Dogs are going to follow me around,” I said, scrubbing madly, to no avail. I really love Boudoir — but only for the boudoir. I could smell it on my wrist, scrubbing or no, for the rest of the day.

    And for some reason “Field Notes from Paris” goes all coriander on me — like pickling spice.

    • Ann says:

      Hi, lady. Thanks for the funny story. And I get a lot coriander from the Field Notes, too, oddly enough.

  • Melauriga says:

    I’ve tried many perfumes that I didn’t really care for and wouldn’t wear again, but only one that was an instant scrubber: Balmain Ivoire. I never got past the top notes on that one, couldn’t bear to leave it on long enough. Something in there gave me an instant headache and nausea and, as you say, had me heading for the sink. I even tried applying it outside, but it was still a complete and utter no-go. It’s funny, because it gets mostly good reviews.

    • Ann says:

      Yep, I hear you. When it fails that hard that quickly, I think you’ve just got to get it off ASAP.

  • TaffyJ says:

    Black by Bulgari. I know, I know, there must be something wrong with me, right? I can’t help it. Once that rubber hits, it plugs up my nose and I need an extra hit of Claritin. Just writing about it makes me a little queasy.

    • Ann says:

      Taffyj, sorry it affects you like that. I felt the same way (a little queasy) when writing about the M/Mink.

  • QuinnCreative says:

    I, too, thought I had a bad tester of M/M ink. I was a print production manager and I’m an artist–I have sumi ink in my veins and know hundreds of PMS colors by heart. But I smelled this and nearly retched. Other fragrance that don’t work on me at all are Pampelune, almost any musk, Daime Blond by Serge, and Travers Bosphore, for which I had high hopes and instead smelled like flowers left in river water for two weeks. Glad I sampled all of them first.

    • Ann says:

      I wonder if it just doesn’t work for those of us with “ink in our veins,” so to speak. I like the others you mentioned; sorry they didn’t agree with you. Thank heavens for samples!

  • Sherri M. says:

    Versace Blonde, Pampelune, Kiehl’s Musk and, surpisingly, Rubj EDP are just horrific on me. Rubj was the biggest shock! It had great reviews, but smelled like a cheap fruity air freshener over a dirty bathroom smell on me. I had to keep the sample double-wrapped and threw it in a shoe box on the floor of the linen closet (where all really bad samples go!) until Swapmania…it has all five star reviews at Lucky Scent, but like Angela, I feel like I am the one left out of the joke on that one! And of course, every one of these scents has amazing tenacity!

    • Debbie R. says:

      “where all really bad samples go”

      :))

    • Bee says:

      those Vero Kern scents are potent stuff aren’t they? I had a scrubber reaction to onda

      • Sherri M. says:

        Yes, the Vero scents certainly have a good deal of heft to them which is not necessarily a bad thing. I’m afraid my bad initial experience with Rubj kinda turned me off the entire line. I did cautiously try about half a spray of Onda and Kiki, but quickly decided they were not to me…on one hand I’m intrigued why it smelled so bad on me when everyone else loves it. On the other hand, why should I waste my time trying to “get” what is obviously not “me” when so many beautiful others await?!

        • Ann says:

          Love that “where all bad samples go” too! Those Veros are not wallflowers, by any means. I’ve only tried Kiki (one of my few lavender “hits”) but want to try Onda and Rubj, but very, very sparingly. Thanks!

      • Kit says:

        I had the same reaction to Onda. On me, it was thin and strident and, I regret to say, the only perfume that has ever reminded me of cat pee. Completely different from the full-bodied beauty I was expecting.

        • Ann says:

          Oh no, anything but cat pee. I may have to sample this very, very carefully.

          • Bee says:

            do so, and when you’re on your own. I was so excited about the samples that I tried them on in the office, disgusting my then, and otherwise very tolerant, co-worker, and the cleaning lady who came in afterwards.

    • mariekel says:

      Funny, I had that reaction to Scandal. And let me tell you, that was tough to scrub off! I think half my wrist wound up raw.

  • Datura5750 says:

    So timely! This very evening, before I read this, I retried my sample, and then ordered a bottle…of m/mink!

    • Debbie R. says:

      I would love to have a decant of it. Once, when I was sick, it was nearly the only thing I could wear then didn’t make me feel nauseous. A fragrance like that is very valuable in a wardrobe. Not to mention how unique it is.

    • Ann says:

      Glad you like it. I know I wanted it to work so badly for me. But that’s chemistry for you.

  • Madea says:

    Beyonce Heat. Oh, my gracious–I got no skank, like March did. I got cheap, cheap, cheap fake peach accord, like dollar store cheap. My sister’s in her teens and very much a fruity/cupcake scent person, and she actually recoiled from me, gagging.

    Jovan gardenia. It goes beyond indolic and into literal decomposition on my skin. The cats won’t let me pet them when I put something like that on.

    Most tuberoses–way too Big on me. I’m a lowkey person, and I feel like I’ve got on a gold sequined micro-skirt* or something whenever I put some on. I have to scrub them or feel an imposter.

    *Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

    • Ann says:

      Not the dreaded “cheep-cheep-cheep” accord! Thanks, Madea, for sharing your funny stories. Haven’t smelled the Jovan in years so can’t remember anything about it and never was tempted by the Heat, so will happily pass. As for tuberose, I felt like you do, but I’m slowly growing to love it, in small doses, such as the beautiful Carnal Flower and Diptyque’s Do Son.

  • Meg says:

    My first two scrubbers happened simutaneously, a coincidence which leads me to believe that it might not have been just the scents themselves that turned me off at the time, but some combination of setting/body chemistry. I have been too frightened since to re-try but I will eventually. I had just gotten a bunch of samples, and on one wrist I had Dzongkha and on the other I had The Unicorn Spell. Ew, old musty vasewater and rotting slimey green beans? I endured ten minutes before running to the bathroom and vigorously scrubbing both off. My third scrubber many months later was Andrea Maack’s “Craft”, which I took off not so much because it grossed me out and made me feel sick but because I was just so annoyed by its high-pitched pinesol insistence.

    • Musette says:

      That Craft! 😮 8-x

      I was so irritated by that stuff. I was going to send it to a friend…then I thought “what kind of ‘friend’ would do that?” Of course, one perfumista’s poison is another’s HG…..:-?

      anyway, I had it on for about 3 minutes. Had to scrub it, or fall down stone-dead. And that was one a scrub/alcohol/scrub/alcohol ritual. Then it stank up my dining room. For an entire day! 😮 The decant is in a ziploc bag which is, in turn, in ANOTHER ziploc bag. I am not sure I get Pine-Sol. Something really powdery and oily – but it might be that oil…..it’s got a vaguely pine-y smell – and not in a good way.

      Other than that, the play was just fine. ;))

      xo >-)

      • Meg says:

        Now I am ALMOST tempted to try it on again to see if I can get the powder and oil…all in the name of perfume education. Did you end up sending yours off? I have been able to off-load mine yet–maybe SOMEONE SOMEWHERE could love this beaast.

    • DinaC says:

      I get canned green beans from The Unicorn Spell, so you’re not alone. It’s a weird one, alright! :-)

      • Ann says:

        I’ve heard that, too. I’ll take my green beans on my plate, thanks very much.

      • Meg says:

        I’m glad I’m not alone, Dina. It’s a perfect example of something that gets a glowing review for being “weird/unique”, qualities that I must want to emmulate (because I keep trying on these kinds of perfumes!!!!), but then completely fails on me because…uh, yeah, it smells “weird.” What was I expecting??!?!?

    • Ann says:

      Bless your heart, Meg, you have had more than your share of scrubbers. And one on each arm — now that’s what a call double trouble!

  • Angela says:

    I hear you, sister. I had a horrible time with M/Ink. I know some people love it, but I felt like the one who was left out of the joke. It must be a skin thing.

  • Joanna says:

    Ineke’s scent Chemical Bonding smells like perm solution on my skin. I’m not sure if that was the chemical scent they were aiming for but after scrubbing and rescrubbing I ended up going to bed with my wrist held as far away from my face as possible.

    Calvin Klein’s Obsession was my first experience with a, “Scrubber.” I was in 6th grade and snuck into my older sister’s room to spritz some on before school. On the bus people were sniffing the air and asking, “What smells like cat pee?” To my horror I realized it was me, or rather my sister’s Obsession on me. I tried to scrub it off in the bathroom at school but ended up pretending to be sick and having my mom come pick me up. It still smells like cat pee on me…I recently retried it just to double check.

    • Ann says:

      Oh my word, Joanna! How awful for you. It’s amazing you still love perfume — I think that experience would have scarred me for life. Haven’t tried the Ineke, but sounds like I should give it a pass.

      • Joanna says:

        I got an Ineke sample set from Swapmania. The other scents in the set were really nice and I’ve already used them up. I threw the Chemical Bonding scent away, I couldn’t imagine it smelling good on anyone.
        And I actually was afraid of perfume for a long time after the school bus incident! My sister and I have completely different skin chemistry apparently and none of her scents, (Which do smell nice on her) have ever worked on my skin.

    • mariekel says:

      Chemical Bonding is screechingly awful — chemical is about right.

      • Ann says:

        I’m definitely passing on it now! I do like several other scents in her line, too, though.