A feature you can all “look forward to” (wink-wink) on the weeks when I post on Fridays is my penchant for goofy reality shows and celebrity gossip, but since I’ll also be giving things away, this seems like a good time to indulge my classless idiocy.
I was talking to a friend, who shall remain nameless, recently, and we both go out on Fridays (for me, sometimes Sat or Sun) and pick up the trashy celebrity gossip magazines like People and Us. I lurve them, I really do. Then I spend the weekend, or at least a couple of hours of it, flipping through them and indulging in one of my favorite guilty pleasures. The best weeks are when “In Style” comes out. Anyway, go see Gallery of the Absurd, if you don’t already visit it, for some of the funniest celebrity cartoon art around, like the cartoon on the left of Tom-Rat. So the baby has arrived, and coincidentally at almost the same time as Brooke Shield’s baby. Coinkydink? I don’t think so. It’s some evil L. Ron Hubbard plot to something something Xenu something. I’ll fill in the blanks later. But did you see that the name of the baby, Suri, doesn’t mean what they said it meant, Princess? It apparently means pointy nose pickpocket. Suri is seriously going to be pissed one day about that, among lots of other things.
And who will get that part in the Dallas move, Lindsey or Jessica? I have no idea why Lindsey would want it, that’s not a part with a future. She laments that she doesn’t get the Scarlett Johannson roles, then fights for crap roles?
A new book that I heard about at Beauty Addict (not sure about this one, sorry if I heard aboutit somewhere else and you didn’t get credit) — Free Gift with Purchase – my Improbable Career in Magazines and Makeup by Jean Godfrey-June should be here tomorrow, wheee!!! I 
also bought this book, Virgin of Small Plains by Nancy Pickard because it sounds kinda interesting and because it’s set in Kansas. (Oddly enough, I’ve never read In Cold Blood. It’s sent in Kansas too, but I just can’t do it.) It shows up tomorrow too. Now, if I could only concentrate for more than 35 seconds so I could read just one book. If only I had longer arms so i could see those books without the 30 pairs of reading glasses we have laying around the house. I used to read a book every couple of days, but my mind and eyes are shot, and now the only time I manage to read anything is when I go on vacation on a beach somewhere, and usually I’m drinking too much on vacation and can’t remember what I read.
American Idol — Did the bottom three this week surprise anyone? Two yawners and a tart are safe, and, well, Taylor. Now, sending home Ace was okay, though I will miss me some Eye Candy, and Paris needs to just be herself, but Chris?!?!?!? You can always catch recaps of all trash reality TV at TVGasm. I haven’t had to watch America’s Next Top Model yet this Cycle, thanks to them. But I watched it last night, and I don’t remember why I ever watched that show, and I won’t do that again — well, until the next time I forget that I really hate that show.
For those of you that are Catholic, remember that this Sunday is Divine Mercy Sunday, my favorite day of the year! If you aren’t Catholic or religious at all, just skip this paragraph. If you have not done confession yet, it’s not too late to get your No Purgatory for the Crap I’ve Done So Far Ticket punched by Jesus. For those of you that think I make light of this, I’m not! Good grief, I’m a horrible person most of the time, I need all the help I can get, and aiming at and hitting this little window is harder than you think, I’ve missed it three years in a row. It is a good thing I’ve stayed healthy. Now I can go back to drinking and sloughing off on the health stuff for a while. This is the end of my Sinful Catholic PSA.
Perfume — oh, yeah, this is a Perfume Blog. Sorry about that! So I couldn’t just pick one winner, I had too many entries, so I pulled out three:
*****Drum Roll******* 
Flora, Rachael and Dusan
Send me your snail mail address by hitting the Contact Us Button, and I’ll jet you off the two Malle samples you picked, plus other goodies. Thanks so much to all of you for your comments and for reading what we write. The comments are the most fun thing of writing, hearing what you think and learning something new.
Now, time to…Trash the comments.
Comment on whatever you want, celebrity gossip, Brangelina having a baby in Namibia, is Brad really about fed up with her yet, reality TV, whatever occurs to you that is the opposite of high brow and erudite.
I’m off to get my hair cut and highlighted — shinified. Have a great weekend, everyone!!!
Cool…
Patty,
There are 80 million people in the US that wear reading glasses. At one time or another, you will forget your reading glasses. Because I often forget my reading glasses, I invented i4uLenses, credit card size reading glasses you carry in your wallet like a credit card.
Pat
Well, I never thought about a Fake Pregnancy either, until you provided the shoe-shopping detail. DEFINITELY fake. Also: now I remember a completely bizarre pic (must be the one Cheez saw) where Katie’s abdomen was like a shelf — like there was a litter of puppies in there. (And you know I know whereof I speak regarding big bellies.)
Re your roses: dig a huge hole! I emailed you my thoughts.
P.S. E!Online’s Fashion Police feature is another fave, but they are not critical enough of the celebrity fashion flubs. Go Fug Yourself has no mercy, so it’s more fun. 😉
Oh I am so excited, I won! I can hardly wait to try the Malle samples! This is so cool.
My secret trashy sins? Catty websites like Go Fug Yourself (slamming celebrity fashion sense, or lack thereof) and The Superficial, just cheap, tawdry, juicy, useless gossip – and lots of it. Now I can add Gallery of the Absurd to the list.
Of COURSE I also read plenty of high-minded science, commentary and journalism, (uh, yeah, that’s it, that’s the ticket…)and by now I think I have discovered just about every perfume blog there is, in just a few short months. Always something good to read! :d
And yeah, the Namibia thing is a little freaky. I hope nothing goes wrong during the birth. Did Brad forget how Angelina acted while she was married to Billy Bob? (Note to men everywhere: do not marry women who wear their husband-of-the-moment’s blood in a vial around their necks. Repeat this mantra as necessary.)
Ah, more celebrity gossip hounds! I love it! (if you can’t say anything nice…just come sit beside me).
I’ve been visiting Gallery of the Absurd for quite some time now because I love trashy mags, & I love what this illustrator does with celeb images! Brilliant!
As for Tomkitten, it didn’t occur to me that the pregnancy could be faked, but I do remember looking at photos of Katie and thinking she looked HUGE – like she had triplets in there or something. How bizarre that she supposedly had her kid on the same day in the same hospital as Brooke Shields – TC’s archnemesis! I would so love to know what the deal is with Tom.>-)
FREE KATIE!!!!8-}
Frivolity rocks! The NY Times for sure doesn’t do Malle giveaways! And re the TomKat/Rat baby thing…For sure, that pregnancy is a fake. I saw a picture in a German paper, and Katie Holmes didn’t look pregnant, except for the bump…no swollen ankles, fat hands, or pudgy face. Besides, Tom Cruise had no kids with Mimi Rodgers, as well as Nicole Kidman! All of a sudden, he’s fertile? I remember Mimi Rodgers making a snotty remark in an interview several years back about how since she’d remarried and had kids, it was obvious who had the problem. It’s just freakish all the way around.
Veronica, I never thought of it that way, but gosh he sure is doing a good job of being the Celebrity Freak of the Week.
Pam, they are tough to miss, fer sure. I would say Tom is a big target, but not so big actually. Har har.
Victoria, same here. I was pretty much indifferent to him, but it just seemed so contrived, which is why it has fascinated me. I so want to know the truth.
R, you have got it absolutely right. Either that baby was born a few months ago (she disappeared for a little while) and was really Chris Klein’s or she was having a breakdown over the big facade, or they adopted it. Ten days before she gave birth, she went SHOE SHOPPING at Barney’s. No pregnant woman I have ever known would stand on their feet shoe shopping for three hours in their last two weeks of pregnanc, EVEN if a cute little shoe at Barney’s would fit.
I did not see the pregnant woman waddle, nor did she do the back bend walk with that “belly” she had on her in the most recent pictures. Criminy, I was leaning so far back by my last month in both pregnancies, my butt were touching the backs of my knees almost.
I hope they free Katie soon.
Sybil, we aim to make sure we are the most frivolous spot on the internet. If we ever do anything serious, it is an accident, and we promise not to do it more than once a month or so. 🙂
March, do you live on this planet? Sheesh, even my anti-celebrity-gossip husband knew they had “spawned.”
I did order a bunch of plants and old antique roses yesterday, got my daphne *wheee!!!!***, so I’m shopped up now.
Is Mr. Cruise finding the responsibility of filling the void left by Michael Jackson too much?
Celebs—I don’t read the mags and STILL know too much about these people. Yeesh.
Patty, I can relate to the eyes thing and also to having a hard time keeping focussed as I get older. For me, I think the culprit is computerosis.
March, I’m looking forward to your Guerlain post. Love Jicky and got a huge laugh out of your description a while back of that little civet cat putting its bohunkus right over the bottle. Jicky on a man drives me to real distraction. (This is a good thing, BTW.)
Have a great weekend, all!~o)
I have never taken much interest in Tom Cruise until he started acting as if he is going crazy. Now, this whole TomKitten thing is getting out of hand.
I think the whole Katie-giving-birth-to-Tom’s-baby is a big fat hoax, designed to hide the fact that homeboy swings the other way! Her “baby bump,” as shown in photos in last week’s issue of US magazine, pp. 68 and 69, did not stay consistent at all thoughout the pregnancy. Check it out! (And guess who’s more hooked on the tabs than you are, lol!) I think they adopted that baby.
Hugs!
Love the link to Gallery of the Absurd. I would never have found all this on my own. You guys are really a full-service blog!
Huh, I didn’t realize TomKat had the little alien baby. I wonder if they’ve been allowed to hold her or speak to her yet.l-)
My trash reading is … catalogs. Although I guess you can’t even call that “reading.” I just love looking at them; except for plants I pretty much never order anything.