By March
We’re in the middle of a typical mid-Atlantic March – hot! Cold! Snow! Rain! Allergies! Wild barometric pressure fluctuations! Which has meant I’ve curtailed all new-perfume sniffage as a potential migraine on a stick. I’ve been spritzing the old stand-by’s like Mandragore that I know are safe.
Just because I haven’t sought out new perfumes doesn’t mean they don’t seek me out, however. There I was, minding my own business, tucked up with the new issue of Allure magazine, when 16-year-old Diva came in to talk to me. I was trying to follow the conversation, but (in my heightened state of smell-awareness) I kept thinking: why do you smell like a dude? Have you been cuddling up to some boy with a bad case of Axe?
She denied it strenuously, and at some point I realized what I was smelling was the miasma of the scent-strip in the magazine on my lap. I was smelling the new Jimmy Choo fragrance.
I am not, nor have I ever been, a client of Jimmy Choo, the fancypants shoe-maker. If I had to take a stab at what Jimmy Choo (the fragrance) would smell like, I’d come up with expensive. Or, sexy (those vertiginous heels!) Or, you know, both.
Here’s the blurb from their website: Jimmy Choo Eau de Parfum expresses an aura of strength and beauty. Glamourous in attitude, confident, intelligent and with a sense of fashion and fun, the fragrance is a modern Fruity Chypre with warm, rich, woody depths. It’s a fragrance inspired by modern women. The fragrance is done by Olivier Polge, notes are “a modern chypre fruity, with green top notes, tiger orchid, sweet toffee caramel and Indonesian patchouli.”
Uh, okay. Well. The drydown is essentially man, but the top is sweeter – I’m glad I didn’t read those notes beforehand. Not sure about the sweet toffee caramel but it’s sorta like Chanel Allure, or pick some other girl-in-drag fruitchouli.
I wasn’t looking for novelty. Should I just come out and say that? They want something that isn’t going to scare the horses. Etat Libre this is not. But hey, they’ve got a few bucks (the bottle looks gorgeous), and … it should smell exclusive, right? Fancy? Sexy?
But it doesn’t. It’s just weird. I was watching Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil, and we get to the line where John Cusack is saying something about hiding the candy to The Lady Chablis, and it couldn’t have been more apt – this is a drag queen of a fragrance. That sweet, gooey floral top dries down to a patch-woody base that has some serious five-o’clock shadow and a really deep voice, and makes Chanel Allure and The Lady Chablis look like high art by comparison.
I couldn’t bring myself to shuffle over to the local Saks or (heaven forbid) the Jimmy Choo boutique in my Dansko ortho-clogs, so yes, it’s true, this review is based on a scent strip. (Go ahead, call the perfume police.) I googled around and found Octavian’s review, which made me feel better about this. Not about the perfume, which I think is lame, but my reaction to it. Jimmy Choo, you could have been sexy. Or even retro-glam – how about a big white floral? But instead you smell so 2006. You didn’t have to be earth-shaking, but you could have been better.
What do you think Jimmy Choo should smell like?
I’ve been avoiding this one, too, for the reasons everyone else mentioned. But this?
“But it doesn’t. It’s just weird. I was watching Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil, and we get to the line where John Cusack is saying something about hiding the candy to The Lady Chablis, and it couldn’t have been more apt – this is a drag queen of a fragrance. That sweet, gooey floral top dries down to a patch-woody base that has some serious five-o’clock shadow and a really deep voice, and makes Chanel Allure and The Lady Chablis look like high art by comparison.”
March, you are a goddess. Thanks for the best laugh I’ve had over the past two weeks.
I quite like the bottle except for that square top. Since the bottle reminds me of the antique cut-to-clear scent bottles, I’d like something silver and neo-Art Nouveau.
Actually, I DON’T think it would smell like leather. That would be like expecting a Chanel perfume to smell like wool because of the classic Chanel suit. Since the celebs love Jimmy Choos, I would expect it to smell like a celeb, e.g., something like Badgley Mischka, to be optimistic about it.
Also LOVED that March reviewed a scent strip – that kind of made my week! Is it just me, or do scent strips often smell better than the actual perfumes? That’s how I felt about EK Sensuous and the recent Ralph Laurens, anyway.
I thought, I can’t do this. I can’t review from a scent strip. And then that’s like waving a red flag in front of my own bad self and I thought, why the heck not?
I would have thought leather — I mean, in the drydown? That would be a little edgy, but not so edgy as to be inappropriate, plus I think they do a lot of handbags?
Or (sticking with my original idea) a white floral. But not Allure, recycled.
I love leathers, and it would be great if Jimmy Choo had done an interesting leather scent, but that would be an alternate universe. I am sceptical that most of his clientele would appreciate leather scents. The most radical it could have been would be something like a Donna Karan scent. You’re right, a big white floral would have been an excellent choice. It could have been good, it fits the celeb image and lots of people like to wear them.
I love that you found a whole new way to be bad!
My sincerest sympathies on the weather. It snowed here today (and yesterday!) I mean…in March! I can’t believe it!
Anyway…back to those stilletos, eh, the frag I mean.
So, a tranvestite of a scent for non marginalising our audiences, eh? What else is new? I would have expected better and yes, sexier. That’s money saved so bless you allergies and that strip sniffing.
Hope you’re very well!
H,
I’m replying for March – those allergies have done that Early Spring Thing – everybody’s illin’ at the House o’ March – (my ‘child’ is sick, too – but he’s 50+ …and you know what? I’ll take a sick kid anyday! 😉
I’m not surprised by this fragrance at all – when I first heard his brand was branching into fragrance I made a bet with myself that it would be manage to be wan, meh and obnoxious all at the same time.
and I am not a JC hater by any means (see Handbag Lust in my early comments). But I just had a feeling…
xo >-)
I sniffed the same scent strip in Allure and was disappointed, just like you. Huh, I thought. I was reminded vaguely of Flowerbomb, though I’m not sure why. Jimmy Choo SHOULD be a glamorous, sexy scent, complex and compelling. Too bad they just chose a path of least resistance.
Poisonally, I think the fact that it is named “Jimmy Choo’ skews it cheap. Don’t ask me why – maybe because I am not overfond of logos as it is – and this argument is specious as I list Dior and Chanel among my vaunted perfume houses…
…:”>
never mind
xo >-)
Maybe it should smell like the inside of a couple a tween’s *boy/girl* empty tennis shoes, kicked off as they’re rollin’ around the couch when the adults aren’t around.
Ordinarily, I’d scan comments before adding my own two scents. But I’m recovering from my initial reaction–why is March doing a review on Flower Bomb? I’m sticking with that first impression. It probably does smell like Flower Bomb. The thought also occurred to me that FB had been tweaked the bottle with a bit more glam, sharper edges, new cap.
This is a clone, where’s the creativity? I smell stinky baby feet.
[-(
March is a Genius.
We cannot plumb the depths of her Genius Mind.
(and I like your first impression. And the Stinky Baby Feet)
xo >-)
My first thought was leather and some sort of cocktail- maybe a Cosmopolitan given the Sex and the City association? :d Maybe Scotch or Bourbon if extremely lucky. Even though I am not a fan of white flowers they do sound like a perfect fit here…see what I did there? HA. Need more sleep!
I’m thinking ‘aspirational’ cocktail. Cosmopolitan sounds perfect!
xo >-)
Igh. This just sounds wrong in every way, as though they should have called it Choo-bacca. I’d have hoped for a soft leather scent, not too brash because their product is delicate strappy shoes, mere wisps of leather on heels so high an orthopedist would be slavering in anticipation of a fat fee should he see me wearing them. /:)
And I agree with all of you that it should have had a little kick of something ultra feminine (white flowers would surely work).
HA!
I’m tellin’ Jimmy you called it Choo-bacca! I like that! They could’ve thrown a bit of civet in there in homage to All That Fur ^:)^
xo >-)
Coo coo ka choo, the shoe Choo smell would include smells of leather, powder, jam (aHEM!), and all the flankers would be various animalic variations on “paws.” Oh, right, and the one that puts a smack of bubble gum in there… ;)
Painful chortle of sympathy at “migraine on a stick.” I do so completely know what you mean. I think that is why when I go on new scent smelling expeditions, they tend to be benders–taking advantage of the window of opportunity, I guess. Like grazing through a buffet and deciding what I’ll order as a full dish next time, for a full whirl about the dance floor. Our weather is about the same, but I think with an overall lowering of the fluctuation range by at least 20ºF.
S,
The barometric pressure must be wreaking havoc with you! :(( I’m dodging Migraine – but just barely. We anticipating snow in a little bit.
Yeah, a little ‘jam’ with the rest of that mish-mash sounds about right ;))
xo >-)
My first thought of what it should smell like was feet…clearly, we have a similar mindset here! :) I loved the ‘leather’ answer, much more creative. I noticed the similarity to the Flowerbomb bottle, as well. I even took a second look at it (Flowerbomb) to be sure….
@pam: I’m not surprised it is loud and obnoxious…seems about right.
You can tell I’m Old School (as in OLD!;) ) First thing I saw was the original YSL Paris bottle!
xo >-)
I got a whiff of this at Saks not long ago and UGH! Loud and obnoxious is my take on it. That doesn’t come across as real analytical, but I couldn’t stay around it long enough to analyze. JC should indeed smell like leather with some white flowers thrown in.
Maybe leather-stomped white flowers?
xo >-)
love the reprimand “Jimmy Choo you could have been sexy”. Reviewing from a scent strip. Awesome.
March is Queen!
< ):) xo >-)
The words “modern fruity chypre” were enough to make me start figuratively backing away from the bottle. Then I read “sweet toffee caramel” and “tiger orchid” in the same sentence and I doubled my backward-walking pace. Does it get much worse than that?
So other than smelling like feet (haha you guys!) I’m inclined to agree with you March. A big, blowsy white floral. The type that announces the presences of its wearer about 6 seconds before she actually walks into the room. Tottering along in her 4.5″ Jimmy Choo heels.
and her fierce weave. o-+
xo >-)
My first thoughts were something from Jimmy Choo should smell something like The Party in Manhattan, but Quinn Creative nailed it straight-away. It should be leather indeed. I didn’t feel this one was masculine so much as it was very commercial (Viva la Juicy meets Angel in a Flower Bomb bottle).
Octavian was right on the money, then!
xo >-)
I have to add an anecdote- I was out shoe-shopping in Miami with my family, and my husband asked me to try on a pair of spikes, just to see what I looked like, I think he thought it would be sexy. I rolled my eyes, but complied. He laughed out loud! Then the kids started laughing, then my mother, then the shoe saleswoman and 2 customers!! I’m so glad I gave them all such a hoot….
I am trying to picture this…:-?
xo >-)
I think I looked more terrified on those spiky things than sexy….
Yes, I like Octavian’s quip that this perfume is “mass, not class.” But didn’t this shoe line start out as much more artisanal, more class than mass, and then shifted to the opposite? I need to consult my “History of 21st Century Footwear” to be sure. Since I’m a Euro-Birkenstock-Eco-Veggie nut, I’ve never even looked at his shoes! Anything with a heel higher than 3cm is torture. If I can’t run through the Alps with them, I don’t wear them.
😮 I would pay Really Good Money to see you (or anybody else) run through the Alps in a pair of strappy Choo stilettos.
xo >-)
The bottle reminds me of the original YSL Paris bottle. What *should* Jimmy Choo smell like? Leather, of course. And a hit of traditional oak-moss chypre. Patchouli is OK, but somewhere there has to be something daring, teeteringly high, or a blast of olfactory color. No treacle, no toffee. Ugh. That’s at the bottom of the shoe, along with gum and dog poop. Let’s keep it elegant, strappy and sexy.
Now,see, if they’d thrown in some gum and dog poop it might’ve been more interesting..:-?
xo >-)
Phew! Not aching, blistered feet, which is what mine would probably smell like it I had a pair of JCs, but it should have smelled slinky, and sexy, and dripping with major modern bombshell action. She would be born to be a trendy glamazon!
But a drag queen of a fragrance did you say, March? And, did you notice that the bottle resembles the Flower Bomb bottle?
Hugs and love!
My thought (channeling my inner-bitch here) is that it would smell fabulously trashy. I love certain parts of the JC oeuvre but high-class is not the thought that immediately comes to mind. In fact, I think his shoes are fabulous BECAUSE they’ve got that ‘Real Housewives’ vibe. And I spent nearly a year hunting down a 2006 handbag of his.
I was expecting arriviste Money (like David Yurman – for me, the first thing that comes to mind is ‘wow. money.’)…then some BWFs fo’ sho’. And some musk. Lots of musk. I never gave leather a thought, which shows you how limited my mind is. ;))
xo >-)
Crap! That was my answer! Maybe aching feet?
Hot, sweaty! aching feet! Choos are rough – what a friend calls “chauffeur-driven shoes”
xo >-)
Feet? :d
=))
xo >-)