In-store sampling: Thumbs up, thumbs down

This post was inspired by some retail binge-sniffing over the past couple of weeks. Let’s start with the new…

erotic or kinda creepy?

Tom Ford Figue Erotique, a “floral fruity gourmand,” notes are fig leaf, bergamot, pink pepper, mandarin, fig, ylang, salt, brown sugar, patchouli, vetiver, licorice. A perfectly adequate woodsy-green thing from which I get no fig whatsoever. I love fig fragrances, so: sadface.

Byredo Vanille Antique — freesia, plum, amber, cashmere woods, Madagascar vanilla, cistus. This is … $465 for 70ml?!?! Did I read that right? For that amount of dosh I’d expect more than a dull hit of vanilla enveloped in what smells like a knockoff DK Cashmere Woods, seriously. Has anyone else tried this? At least the Tom Ford smelled expensive; I am shocked. Maybe my nose was malfunctioning?

Byredo Mixed Emotions – have I really ignored this since its release five years ago? Apparently. Notes: black currant, mate, tea, violet leaf, birch, papyrus. That name is spot-on because the top combo of blackcurrant and tea was reading faintly bitter/sour to me, but I loved the birch-tree drydown. Maybe try a sample if you like things a bit weird. Lasted well on me, too.

The Snifs – I wrote about Crumb Couture awhile ago when it was having a TikTok moment, I still think it’s fun. There’s so many of them now at Ulta I didn’t sniff them all, and Hot Cakes was a hard pass, but I really enjoyed Soda Snob, notes are Coca-cola, citrus, caramel, cinnamon, vanilla. Less sweet (I swear!) with a fizzy cola open, more cinnamon-citrus-spicy, and a lot of fun. I didn’t whip my MasterCard out, but I do want to try it again.

that bottle tho

Kylie Jenner Kosmic (oops, Cosmic) Intense – look, I picked it up because of that molten red bottle, which is heavy and fabulous in the hand. “Ignite your senses with … an ambery-gourmand scent featuring a sensual blend of vanilla, star jasmine and benzoin…” I don’t know what’s in that bottle. Hair spray? Window cleaner? A mix of both? The only sense ignited was one of disgust that lingered, along with the smell, until I managed to scrub it off with MAC wipes, thank you Ulta.

NOYZ Only Human – I think this is also having A (TikTok?) Moment. “A skin-hugging gourmand that evokes the warmth of connection.” Notes: vanilla bean, Ambroxan, Moroccan cedarwood. I get why this is popular, it’s the skin scent you’d expect and it’s got good lasting power, but it’s been done before and I’m not the target audience for this which is just fine.

In other news, I bought some A Drop d’Issey about five minutes after reading Portia’s review. I bet some of you did too, it’s on plenty of discount sites, so that’s coming up, along with an oldie that surprised me.

images via Pexels