Deferment, with an aside on neckties.

If forced to pigeonhole ourselves according to the Couples’ Lifestyles, Lifechoices and Lifehabits Categorisation System ™, Matt would probably class me as the risk-taking impulsive partner and himself as the more Steady Eddie type. He always knows what’s in his bank account; I rarely look. He makes checklists to give himself a sense of calm; I feel the panic rise in me when he brings one near. His idea of pleasure is planning and discussing contingencies; my idea of pleasure is murdering him when he does so… Okay, the last one’s a lie, but you get the picture. We’re plenty alike, but in this field, never the twain shall meet.

However, in spite of my tendency to be all Nike slogan in life, I can be surprisingly slow burn about my passions (the one area in life where I’m not only happy to make lists, but enter the world of Excel spreadsheets, for heaven’s sake). Thus, although I have splurged momentously in the past, I now seem to consider each new perfume purchase with weight, even though the scent screams ‘You must have me!’ in my head. And it’s not simply my finances that stop me – after all, I can afford these luxuries if I so choose…

After about three months of such deferment, I finally got round to phoning Hermes on Monday for a full bottle of Osmanthe Yunnan. My journey with this scent was as follows: first sniff – nice, light, not for me; second sniff – much more interesting than I first thought; third sniff – who made me think this wasn’t for me? I’m aroused, lustful, and this is the only thing to slake my ardour or sate my thirst, or the other way round. I know I love it; I can’t even think straight. And since then, I’ve put off buying it, ekeing out my 4ml sample like it was the sacred Tears of Thebes or somesuch, rather than a refreshing citrus-tea-apricot number. Yes, those large bottles are pricey and I have considered buying the smaller bottles for swapsies. But I knew, eventually, I’d go for the whole bottle. So why did I keep deferring it?

Other scents on this deferral list are Nuit Noire (I could rhapsodise ineloquently for an age about its beauty), Santal de Mysore, Chàªne, Mitsouko (which formulation? Could I really wear it?), Derby, Bois d’Armenie.  Three of those have been pending for over eighteen months… Why don’t I just snap them up? It’s not just cost, I’m sure of it.
Please take this opportunity to  tell me of your deferments or offer me counselling as you see fit. The writers of my favourite comment(s) (who knows how many I’ll like) will win a random grab from my overflowing samples boxes.

Now, the aside. There’s been a big debate – well, I say, big but mean more accurately titchy and interesting – about whether the tie has had its day. Venerable newsreaders have been commenting on its pointlessness and that it’s time to ditch this last vestige of male peacockery. So, what do you think? Do you prefer a tie to a triangle of pubic exuberance below a man’s neck? Or do you think that something which serves no other purpose than to point the way to a man’s genitals needs axing? My pet peeve is ‘comedy’ ties – nothing else brings out the sociopathic monster in me so readily…

Lemme know your thoughts.

  • luv_bug says:

    I, for one, don’t have a lot of extra money in the budget for perfume. The phrase I like to wail as I throw myself on the bed is “poor as hell.” So everything’s on the deferment list. Blue Amber. Vol de Nuit. Iris Ganache. Eau d’Hadrien. Dzing! (I guess it’s about time to purchase that last one…)

    As for ties, as long as there remains the image of Daniel Craig wearing his 007 tux in “Casino Royale”, ties will never officially die.

  • Amarie says:

    8-|hmmmmm.As I am concentrating on exploring samples at the moment deferrment hasn’t really been an issue for me. However my daughters who smelt L’Artisans Mimosa pour Moi have decided that I HAVE to get a bottle for them. I am trying very hard to educate my children on the importance of olfactory experience by supplying them with a wide variety of scents.;)They might think that it is only for my own satisfaction that I keep thrusting my arm under their noses but no I am a big believer in education.:”>
    And where would the world be without ties? Articles of clothing have never been about whether they are pointless or not. If they serve the purpose of satisfying an aesthetic need, they are have a use. Polyester tragedies are not to be mentioned in the same context and should be promptly burnt on the pyre of bad taste.:x

  • Gina says:

    Oh yes, I share your hatred for “comedy” ties. I want to strangle those who wear one with said tie. Forgive my violent fantasy. I am having a week from hell.

    Lately I’ve been restraining myself with full bottles, carefully considering each impulse before acting on it with abandon (that was my usual way before the restraint). I allowed myself a bottle of Dzing! because I read on NST it was being discontinued, and it’s one of my favorites. Completely justifiable. On my list of deferments: Coromandel, Safran Troublant, Pomegranate Noir, Tiempe Passat, Daim Blond, Borneo 1834, Gris Clair, damn. I guess I could just go on forever.

    I appreciate decants more and more, or rather, my credit card does. I can enjoy a scent until the bottle’s empty, then fly over to the Fripperies, get more. I am trying to be more zen about my collection, savoring what I have, instead of being consumed with the desire to have full bottles of everything I adore. March has inspired me with the travel bug, so I guess I need to save for that for a while, lay off of the bottle purchases.

    Thanks for this post, Lee. I throughly enjoyed it, though I’m reading it a day or two late.

  • Kyra says:

    I recall a few Christmases, when my children were very young, that devolved into a shark like frenzy of unwrapping. The process took over and became an end to itself and was followed by a most disconcerting disappointment once everything had been ripped into. Perhaps even worse, many of those items were never really cherished. And so, I imagine, do many parents discover the savagery of the very young. My solution was to fall back on the idea that Christmas has 12 days, more or less, and dole out packages a few at a time, giving time for each gift to be appreciated and bonded with. Still there might be hits and misses, but the average sure went up.

    The most beautiful homes and collections are not purchased in one fell swoop. They are collected and changed with care over time.

    These could be convincing arguments for deferral, but I’m afraid they serve better to justify the results, than to really steer the process.

    The fact is that I can’t seem to stop dithering and researching to death my planned purchases.

    • Lee says:

      A very wise post!

      (you have the same name as my sister!:x )

    • CH says:

      Kyra, I absolutely agree with you. My only choice is to slowly work on my collections. My DH and I are adding a new home to that collection. While we are getting a good amount of space (for California!), it’s not a castle, but much better than the 1140 square foot apartment we are residing in right now!

      The same goes for fragrances. I’ve managed to pick up a few nice ones in the past year (plus a kazillion decants and samples), but my deferment list is way too long to mention. The only reason they are deferments is monetary issues. Right now, a 150 dollar purchase is an luxury for me, so my dollars must be wisely spent with no mistakes whatsoever! That wonderful bottle of Daim Blond and Nuit de Noel Parfum will have to wait a little while…

  • Robin says:

    My entire list of lemmings seems to be on deferment at the moment — still haven’t bought a thing all year, and the longer I wait the harder it is to take the plunge, since at this point I feel I can’t buy something unless I absolutely can’t live with out it.

    But I know myself: I’ll end up buying something useless on the spur of the moment, probably, just because I’ll be in the mood for spending money 🙂

    • Lee says:

      Robin – ennui, perhaps? Try to hold off on the accidental purchase – always a disaster in my experience – and yours from the sound of it!

  • Kim says:

    After being a long time Chanel/Ernest Beaux devotee I am working my through Ormande Jayne, Lutens, Malle, Guerlain … whew! So I am happily swimming in samples (thanks to the great decant sellers) as I explore all the wonderful suggestions on this blog (thanks to everyone). But….I have no doubt that if I love, love, love a fragrance, I will buy the bottle – a small one but buy it none the less! I deferred and deferred on Bois des Iles and No 22 in perfume strength and now… :((

    So I say defer deferment!

    As for ties – I love the elegance (sadly lacking these days). In ties (and perfume), give me quality and elegance (Hermes ties) over mundane (gag ties) and will join rosarita in fanning!

  • Maria says:

    Lee, I’m glad you’re gettting Osmanthe Yunnan finally! I was shocked to read that your hesitation is not a matter of money. Lack of the green stuff is what stops me from getting the full bottles I want! In the meantime, I have a wish list. Sometimes I go around the list because I run across a bargain or a fragrance I want is hard to get or discontinued. Nuit de Noel extrait is at the very top of my wish list. It has been there a long time, but actually I keep taking from my sample more and more because July is a time of fog and overcast skies here. I want Christmas now! :(( Does anyone remember a fragrance called Christmas in July? It was popular in Cuba. But I’ll go with my beloved Nuit de Noel. As soon as I get a job, I’m buying a bottle. Even the bottle itself is beautiful.

    BTW, I didn’t get the job I interviewed for last week, but afterwards I was glad. It required too much traveling. This Friday I’ll have an interview for another position. (Nuit de Noel, Nuit de Noel.)

    I’m in favor of ties. A man in a nice shirt and tie (and, yes, pants, ladies) can be very sexy. And if he rolls up his sleeves…mmm. Anyway, my DH has a good eye for shirt-tie combinations. Color can do wonders for us. Just think of what a beautiful scarf can do for a woman.

    • Lee says:

      But it’s not like I can afford to buy everything on my list, all at once! Now I’ve got a decent job to go to, and money’s no longer a worry, there has to be something of a scent budget. But not too much, or the guilt critters come nipping at my toes.

      I’m fingers crossed for you for Friday,,,(*)

      Rolled up sleeves with downy haired and defined forearms… Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm….=d>

      • Maria says:

        As soon as I start receiving a paycheck, I’m starting a perfume budget so that I can buy without worry or guilt as long as I stay within my allotted amount.

        I forgot to mention that I recently bought two osmanthus. Osmanthus fragrans var. aurantiacus and O. heterophyllus ‘Ogon.’ Let’s see what happens at bloom time.

      • Louise says:

        Oh, stop, Lee. I am a forearm freak! The image, oy!

  • Tigs says:

    OY has been my big deferment, too. I hope you bought it – inspire me! I think my (late, silly) discovery of decants has caused a lot of the recent waiting I have done. Without decants, my new job (yay!) and the opening of a Calgary Sephora would have had me madly clutching a bottle of Douce Amere or Ambre Sultan. (The store is otherwise disappointing, but they do have some of the Serge exports, which warms the cockles of my heart.) I swear, eventually I will buy full-sized bottles of Timbuktu, Apres L’Ondee, Vol De Nuit parfum, Patou Que-sais je? and Colony, M7 and that damn Hermessence. And when 31 rue cambon comes out in parfum, my budget will go down the tubes.

    • Lee says:

      Why did you mention Timbuktu (*adds to deferment list*)?

      New job – congratulations… Me too, from Aug 28! Yay twice.

      And I have bought OY. Go on, treat yourself!

  • carmencanada says:

    Leo, GET THE DERBY ! Guerlain is discontinuing it in September. It’s just such a marvellous, stately chypre.
    As for deferment, well, to me it’s more like perfume or paying the bills for the moment, so let’s say that the entire list is on hold, with a special dilemma: do I buy Metalys which is also on the verge of being discontinued, despite the fact that I would prefer the first (and possibly only, for months and months) purchase to be 31 rue Cambon, L’Ame Soeur, N°22 or Bois des Iles? It’s so hard when it’s just the one and each is different and irreplaceable…
    As for ties: hate the comedy ties with a passion, but I do think they can be very sexy, especially a teensy bit undone on an attractive man.

    • Lee says:

      Denyse – that teensy bit undone, ruffled hair look, at the end of a day, does it for me more than anything else I know. I’m now feeling all unnecessary…

      If I get the Derby (seems like i’ll have to – byebye

      • carmencanada says:

        Leo, did that undone man interrupt your typing? Oh yes, that’s the one who does it for me too… Unfortunately, I’m only a linguistic callgirl, paid for an hour or so of corrected English conversation at the end of the day.

        • Lee says:

          Yeah – I’m sure there was more message than that…. Is it steamy in here today, or just me?

  • Lauren says:

    Hi, Lee!

    I usually defer, rather than buy, too. Currently I’m deferring En Passant, Etro Etra, Lily Dior, and Jardin sur le Nil, and probably others that I’ve deferred right out of my conscious mind.

    Like you, I don’t defer out of thrift, at least not usually. I have more complicated deferral reasons. First, I defer b/c I have a small house with very little storage and I just don’t have room to house more bottles than will fit into my dresser drawers. And they are already pretty full with some nice ‘fumes. Another reason I defer is b/c I have dozens and dozens of samples I’ve never tested. What if I buy a bottle of something and then find something I like better? It would drive me mad. Also, what about all the bottles, decants, and samples that I have? Shouldn’t I use them? I liked them enough to buy them last year, or last month, anyway. And last, I can get most things I lust for in decant form. They are smaller and when I get tired of the scent, I’m wasting far less than if it were a full bottle.

    There you have it. Why not defer and buy decants? If you use up the decant, buy another or a full bottle.

    And about the ties, I like the formal look a tie gives a man. And I also hate any “funny” ties. If a tie gives the wearer a formal look, then the tie needs to be good and serious. A goofy tie is incongruous, I think.

    Good luck with your quandry.

    • Lee says:

      But sometimes Lauren, only the bottle will do. I know that’s probably acquisitive of me (I don’t display the bottles – I’m an anti-clutter type), but there it is. But you’re right, decants are good. Which reminds me, I need a refill of Oiro…

      A goofy tie is plain horrible. It’s often worn by people who tell you they’re wacky or crazy or fun, but are really right royal pains in the butt and about as much fun as sutures…

  • chayaruchama says:

    Asking ME that question, is rather like the teapot calling the kettle puce…
    And furthermore, my Herzenstaubchen, you have me utterly vermisched-
    Did you, or did you NOT get the OY ???
    [If you didn’t, let me know, and I’ll mail you one of their ‘traveller’ bottles, to tide you over]

    Believe it or not, I do occasionally defer to my better judgement.
    If the object of desire is reasonably priced, an outright bargain, a split, or utterly magnificent and singular, and I can manage it…
    THEN I SUCCUMB, naturally.

    Regarding neckwear.
    Like Katy,I agree that they’re best when worn alone.
    However, gents do need some way of expressing themselves- but I hate to see a man uncomfortable, unless they’d prefer for me to assist them in that teensy matter….
    And I don’t have an aversion to body hair, for God’s sake, unless you choose not to bathe EVER…. !

    Let the games begin !

    Back to my crocheting, sweetie.
    Me loves you, you ninny.

    • Lee says:

      I got it love, though the warmth of your too too generous soul has me all a-tingle. and I love it when you play frisky!

      (p.s. I you making those ties I describe above, for wearing by hairy naturist types?)

  • Elle says:

    Pointing to the genitals? Fascinating. I love ties and think they’re sexy as hell, but I’d never thought of that. I like having more layers to play w/ or remove, so I vote for them to remain. I also like seeing ties in beautiful (not tacky) fabrics. I think they add a lot of interest to an otherwise less than thrilling suit.
    I think my DH could make Matt look like a Nike slogan guy. He will plan out the route to the airport 6 months in advance of a trip. I like to wake up Sat. morning and take stand-by flights for a spur of the moment, weekend trip to anywhere. The first thing he does every morning is check our accounts online and makes his detailed lists for the day. I only check the accounts once a month, preferably w/ a stiff drink in hand, and am w/out doubt a splurge spender, but for his sake I am trying hard not to do that these days. Still, if I find a scent I don’t think I can continue existence w/out, I buy it. Soon. Very. I could never have waited months for the OY. However, there are fewer and fewer scents I feel fit into the “can’t continue existence w/out” category.
    Buy the OY and buy the Nuit Noire. Supporting hard working, long suffering perfumers is a noble thing to do.

    • Lee says:

      I think you’re right Elle on what I need to buy – NN is definitely next (though CC’s Derby warning has got me all aflutter).

      God, I’d hate for Matt to meet your DH. He’d learn too much!

      As for the genitals thing – I made that up. But they do most often end with an arrow head, don’t they – except for those 70s crochet numbers…:)>-

  • Teri says:

    I seem to drag my virtual feet about buying any of the SL fragrances. I have some samples, some decants, and I either like or greatly admire them all. But I think at the heart of the matter is the fact that I can’t see myself actually wearing them. So each time it comes to a matter of choosing a lesser fragrance that I’ll wear consistently, or a Serge that would sit in my cabinet only to be admired and occasionally sniffed, I come down on the side of the more user-friendly scent.

    Interesting that you would pose this question, because I hadn’t realized I was doing this until you caused me to sit down and think about it.

    aaaah the necktie. My take on it is that as long as men wear suits, a necktie is required. Most men’s suits are so very generic in color and style. And unless one can afford a $2000 suit or the services of a fine tailor to customize a less exalted one, the necktie may be the only garment in the business world capable of showing a man’s personality. Granted, those novelty ties ARE awful, but a beautifuly colored silk tie can be the centerpiece of the male ensemble. It draws the eye and sets each individual man apart from his similarly-dressed peers.

    I work for an international company and we have an Italian-born salesman who services our southern European and Middle Eastern accounts. He is an impeccable dresser. Never a loose thread, a frayed cuff, or a hair out of place. His suits are beautifully cut, his ties are in glowing shades of heavy weight silk, he even wears one of those tie bars underneath the knot (I’m sure there’s a name for this gadget which escapes me at the moment) to make the tie stand out perfectly. In any case, Angelo is something special when it comes to dressing. It’s an absolute pleasure to see him, he’s so dapper and stylish. When you behold Angelo, you feel confidence in the product he is selling. He looks like the successful man SHOULD look. Angelo would be lessened without his ties.

    I vote we keep neckties.

    • Lee says:

      As long as a man has taste, a tie is alawys fantastic. But so many wear polyester monstrosities, I’d rather see them not wear any EVER AGAIN! Angelo sounds fantastic.

      As for SL: I’m having some distasnce from the man’s ‘fumes myself at the moment, though normally he’s as wearable as it gets to me.8-}

  • tmp00 says:

    Oh baby, do I defer…

    I look at the bottles I already have and think that I should never buy another one. I settle for decants until I just cannot stand it any more. I feel that Fleurs de Sel might be the next one that I must, must must have.

    • tmp00 says:

      Oh and as for ties, I love them, even though in my current job (in my department at least) they are frowned upon.

      Did you ever see the Nicole Miller humorous ties? I had a couple- one was headlines from the New York Post. I knew it was outre, but I loved it anyway…

    • Lee says:

      Get that lovely medicinal salve if you want it, Tom.

      I’m off to google those ties. I’m a fan of old school Italian/ spanish striped silk ties. Massimo Dutti make some absolute beauties.

  • Ina says:

    Vol de Nuit has been my deferment for ages.
    My take on ties: they’re needed as much as a healthy dosage of hair, depending on the occasion. 😡
    One thing I can’t handle, though, is the unbuttoned shirt and a completely bare chest. *shudder*

    • Lee says:

      … especially if it’s spray-tanned. Blech. The world of fakery makes my skin creep… we seem to agree! Get that VdN.


      • Melissa says:

        I saw a great t-shirt at some silly t-shirt website. It said, ‘Orange is the new tan’ hahahahaha Every time my teenaged daughter goes to the mystic tanning salon I go around humming that “oompa loompa” song from the old Willy Wonka. . .drives her crazy 🙂

  • Flor says:

    I think you should go for Mitsouko. Try out the different formulations and see which one goes with your skin best. I have all three, EDT, EDP and parfum. I get something different from each one.

    Regarding ties: there are few things that are sexier than a sophisticated man in a perfectly tailored suit, starched shirt and elegant tie – weather permitting, of course.

    • Lee says:

      I agree on the sexiness… Though I like a real scruff too. *Drifts off into reveries of farm labourers…*

      I do need to try each formulation of Mitsouko in order to know…

  • katy says:

    I had the chance to buy a Serge Lutens, and I didn’t. I love a lot of SL fragrances. Don’t ask me why I didn’t, because I couldn’t tell. 🙁
    About neckties… Well, I like it sometimes. It’s attitude. It’s style. Sometimes, very sexy… But not always.
    Well, to be honest, I would love to see some guys dressing tie… And only tie :”>

  • Marina says:

    I recognized myself in your description of Eddie 🙂 Mr C. is more like you. 😡 In my perfume-life, however, I am not capable of deferring my passions. Well, actually…I have been wanting (desiring, craving!) a bottle of A Maze since it first came out, and I keep prohibiting myself from having it.

    • Lee says:

      Get Mr C to buy it for you! Is that the solution?

      Why are we drawn to these complementary (and occasionally conflicting) shadow versions of ourselves? 😡 back!

  • Patty says:


    WOULD YOU GO AHEAD AND BUY THAT oy ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:-w

    Criminy, you aren’t getting any younger, it’s pining for you and needs to come home.

    I have a rock solid rule — “My Children’s Lives will Not be Better if I Leave Them a Ton of Money.” So while I invest and do retirement and live within our means, I spend not one second of time worrying about leaving anything behind. I’ll give it to them while I’m alive, and if there happens to be a few pence left, awesome.

    My other Rule: If I keep thinking about something, it’s time to buy it. Most things, I think about buying and then forget that I even wanted them. Those things don’t get bought. The ones that stay in my head… buy them.

    • Lee says:

      The keep thinking about… rule is a wise one. Oh dear. Look at my expensive list.

      And I’ve bought the OY already!

  • Gail S says:

    The only thing I can think of that I have deferred is buying a bottle of the first Nanette Lepore for my daughter. She’s wanted it ever since it came out, and for some reason, I just can’t bring myself to buy it for her. Absolutely no idea why either. It’s not like I haven’t spoiled the kid rotten her entire life. It’s a mystery to both of us!

    Personally, I love to see men in nice suits and ties, but it wouldn’t kill me if the ties went away. Could they take high heeled shoes with them?

    • Lee says:

      Yeah – high heels. I always worry about those permanently tensed calf muscles, though once in a while the heel does look sexy, no?

      And I’d like to get to the bottom of your perfume purchase mystery. What exactly is it, I wonder…


      • pitbull friend says:

        Yes, high heels are a terrible thing to do to one’s legs (I suppose that’s why men stopped wearing them!;)) A friend who was short wore nothing but high-heeled, no-support shoes. She shortened her hamstring muscles to the point where she couldn’t comfortably wear any other kind of shoe! That just can’t be good for a person. –Ellen

  • Catherine says:

    Nuit Noire was my first full bottle since setting aside my beloved 1000 after a decade of happy use. I woke up one morning, sprayed, and nearly wept. What happened to this friend that took me through a fiancee, a breakup, graduate school, and touring through Central Europe with a large purse. (What need have I for several changes of clothes when there is 1000 floating above me?) When 1000 would not sing anymore, I barely hunted. Then I heard about Nuit Noire when looking through the perfume news. I was more interested in experiencing Lux, but I sprayed Nuit Noire one night, stepped out into the bitter winter, and *breathed*. That night, I had the most luscious dreams–and it remains my beddie-pie fragrance during periods of stress or excitement. Nuit Noire is genius.

    My deferral–hah!–a bottle of perfume-strength 1000. After two years without her, I come back around. Yet in her former place are now Ormonde Jayne’s, and that seems a deplorable position to put 1000 in.

    Neckties–my husband and I resolutely live lives in which there are no suits, no career pants, and no ties (no shoulder pads, no career pumps, no watches–and my “briefcase” is lime). This is the loveliness of an artist’s life. Of course, if we did dress like this in our town, we would stand out–and maybe that’s an artist-thing to do.

  • rosarita says:

    *sigh* I’m too new to comment on the question of perfume deferment, as I’m wallowing in samples and decants and deferring everything. There are too many choices and I am easily overwhelmed, so I dither about commiting to full bottles because, what if I plunk down the cash and then smell something better? Enough choices in navigating a typical WalMart store with it’s solid walls of shampoos and skincare products…

    On the subject of neckties: to me there is nothing sexier than a man in a well cut suit with all the trimmings – cufflinks, handkerchief, a gorgeous tie, a yummy scent—-excuse me while I fan myself. But ties are probably anachronistic nonetheless.:(

    • Lee says:

      There’s no reason why you can’t fan yourself anachronistically!

      Good luck in your perfume adventures… you’ll probably end up realising that you don’t find better, just ‘as good, but different’. Too many scents…

  • pitbull friend says:

    It’s the guilty liberal thing, isn’t it? Is for me. Although I realize it’s not my job to save every dog in peril, $100 will often save a dog’s life. So, even when something would fit in your cash budget, does it fit in your moral budget? I think the advantage of this kind of attenuated “window shopping” is that, when you finally let yourself have the bottle, you just appreciate the heck out of it. Also, I despise our President & he told us after 9-11 to be patriotic by going shopping, so naturally I do the opposite.

    Ties. Hmmmm. Only thing I like about them is that they give men something in their wardrobe to worry about, which puts them on a slightly more even footing with women. But now that I can get away with pantsuits & hardly any pantyhose, my need to even the score is vastly decreased. So, no tie needed, as long as hairy guys will do me the favor of keeping their top buttons buttoned. (No objection to chest hair, but don’t wish to see it in most settings.) Hope you love the O.Y.! –Ellen

    • Dusan says:

      E, love, how do you suppose I should go about in 95+ weather, wearing a buttoned-up shirt in a crammed bus? Do you want me to get a heart-attack? 😀

      • Gail S says:

        Ooh, you could try waxing!!!

        Purely in the interest of really evening up the score :d

        • Dusan says:

          Tried it once for the fun of it and boy was it painful! No thanks! Yup, this man-sissy now sympathizes with all of you lovely ladies 😀
          And anyway, why make a fuss over little fuzz? It’s not like I am Tom Selleck…

    • Lee says:

      I know I’ll love the OY, but will feel some of the guilt you describe (you’re bang on the money of course, as ALWAYS:x ). And as you know by now, I’m not a natural shopper… I bought a sweater a couple of weeks agao but ended up returning it. That’s my first clothes purchase this year…

  • lissakv says:

    My deferrments…Mitsouko. I love it. But then I get paranoid buying on ebay. Then I worry it’s the revamped formulation and want to try to find vintage. But what if the bottle turned? SO on and so forth. I will get it … in a brave moment! I’m also hankering for the MDCI Enlevement au Serail. so pretty. so expensive. SO a divorce.

    As for ties, if you don’t like them, don’t wear them. Though I do believe that society took a turn for the worse when we stopped dressing up for day to day. Example– I watch old movies like Breakfast at Tiffany’s and see the characters well dressed for daily life. Then I leave the house and see, well, hideous crimes against fashion and the hideous crimes against mankind. there must be a correlation. Afterall, who would beat up an old lady if he might muss his suit? It sounds silly but I swear it makes sense. That and society failing after we stopped leaving public bathrooms as clean as we found them. shudder….

    • Lee says:

      Every once in a while, I like to dress up. I wear ties half the time to work. And I have a beautiful array of them too. My students often say – ‘You’re so well put together… Everything co-ordinates.’ How they’ve never guessed I’ll never know.:-“

  • helg says:


    if you really like the OY you should have it.
    “Vita brevis” and all that…On the other hand: “Life is long if you know how to use it” (I swear this gets other ideas in my head, now, but I’m too much of a lady to elaborate)

    Of course I should be talking, huh!! Me who has been having an ever expanding list of things to get but which for some reason I am reluctant to invest into a full bottle of. (Sometimes even when the chance has flown away, like with Les larmes).

    As to the tie thing: of course there has to be some tie on some occassions ~ how else can you grab the poor bloke and get your way with him, else? 😉
    And if we steal it from you in a gender bender little play it’s all well, too!/:)

    • Lee says:

      I will have it – probably by tomorrow, E. In the post as I type…

      I quite like a tie for a whole number of reasons y’know. Two of which you mention.;)

  • Dusan says:

    “…after all, I can afford these luxuries if I so choose.” Nuff said. My beef is I have to choose between 2-17 items on my deferral list and a summer holiday 🙁 and I didn’t go on holiday last year. Definitely go for the OY, I’ve been told by a divine Canadian just how lovely it is.
    I look absolutely ridiculous in a suit & tie and would only wear a loosely tied (burgundy) one with unbuttoned, short-sleeved shirt.
    When I was last on a nude beach, there were a lot of men who were blisfully hairless down under or had neatly trimmed dos. A case of itchy fur at 95+, attempts at visual enhancement or following trends? You tell me. Whatever the reason, I say if you don’t like it, lose it! It’s not like you’ll grow a uterus or anything. 😀

    • Lee says:

      I don’t want you thinking I’m loaded though… Anything but. But I manage to save every month and have Matt-assisted prudence… And probably no holiday this year.

      Nude beaches and pubic trimmings – gosh! I’ve never been to one of those…:”>

  • sybil says:

    My big deferral…Un Lys. Don’t know why. I could buy it, but…but…but… I just haven’t. I’m ordering Houbigant Apercu blind, though, and that should count for something, maybe.
    As for ties, I’m guessing eventually their time will pass. As men get (more feminized due to environmental toxins) (less concerned about showing off their theoretical phalluses due to a more enlightened society) (more casual due to societial shifts) they won’t need ties anymore, right?

    • Lee says:

      Love your ‘delete as applicable’ approach. Maybe you think Un Lys is too, I dunno, beautiful. Eventually, you should buy it.

  • Louise says:

    Ah, lord, thank you-I almost thought I’d have to miss Lee-in-the-morning. Whew. I need you before my “continuing education” class-as if students weren’t cont. ed. embodied.

    I beleive there’s a rule somewhere, written by “them” that says a risk-taker must be balanced and made nuts by a Steady Eddie. Think of the consequences of an exact match—2 Eddies=dull; 2 type Rs=short life. You are blessed, both of you.

    I have made few perfume sacrifices of late. Just bought Vie de Chateau (thanks again, Maria!) and Geisha Green, a surprise winner on me-absinthe, ya know. Now those two were cheap-ish, but given my updoming trip, I ought to be sealing my wallet. I do plan on some SL splurge at the Palais, and god knows what I’ll do in London.

    As for neckties, I only find them useful to remove from sweeties and find other uses for (ooop, sorry)!

    • Lee says:

      Well, we do drive each other nuts, once in a while.:x

      I’m psyched to find out about your Eurosplurges…

    • Maria says:

      Louise, I’m glad you like Vie de Chateau. I still have’t bought a bottle of it even though it’s so cheap. I’m still using the sample. But it’s right up there on my list of bottles. I hope you have a wonderful trip!