Every December I come up with some malarkey, outwardly expressed or not, about how things are going to be different in the new year. A friend said something sensible to me recently about our foolish Yankee ways, wherein we transition from a holy (insert holiday here, or not) to this upbeat honey-do list of upgrades and achievements for 2009.
For days I´ve had these two lines of TS Eliot´s Ash-Wednesday stuck in my head like the world´s longest running poetry earworm:
Teach me to care and not to care
Teach me to sit still.*
I should clarify here that 1) I took a class in college which was, I think, devoted in part to Eliot and this poem because 2) I was entranced by the professor, a tortured-by-inner-demons type with deeply expressive eyes, and 3) even though I understand a fair amount of the religious reference I´d still feel like an idiot discussing it, although don´t let that stop you if you´d like to enlighten me.
Teach me to sit still.
It´s some kind of meditation for me now, in lieu of screaming at the twins at bedtime because their gd wet towels are on the floor of the gd wet bathroom. Again. To care or not to care? I mean, somebody has to care, but I don’t care to care, at least not right now.
Teach me to care and not to care
Teach me to sit still
But does that person even exist? Where is she?
*checking the verse online reveals the correct version as published:
teach us to care and not to care Teach us to sit still
Cribbing from Wikipedia: “Published in 1930, this poem deals with the struggle that ensues when one who has lacked faith in the past strives to move towards God.” Also …isn’t there an Old Testament reference along the lines of, Be still and know that I Am God? Here’s an interesting discussion of the Hebrew, I wonder whether it’s correct. Okay, now I’ve wandered off into religion. Please don’t flame me.
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