12 recent releases

Paco Rabanne 1 million:
From your ad I would’ve thought
You’re butch and young and streamlined,
But you’re more the zaftig sort.

I don’t like Aedes de Venustas Eau de Parfum
that much. You probably don’t agree
But it strikes me as a dank incense
and leaves me shiveringly.

Amouage Homage.
Those round French vowels, so very nice.
But you’re one not yet tested:
Too much rose and too much price.

Chanel Beige takes to the stage
And I know what my problem is –
It’s chic and cut-glass, a class pain-in-the-arse
And I just don’t get that biz.

Dior Homme Sport is unrelated
To its sibling Dior Homme
The latter’s iris is replaced
by a citrus rom-pom-pom.

El Attarine – a luminescent dream
Is how you started out.
But now the more I sniff you,
Dirty musk is all you shout.

Gaiac 10 may be too slight
To command quite all that trouble
To obtain it.  But if more available,
I’d get it at the double.

Gucci by Gucci pour Homme:
Sniffed and not outstanding.
But James Franco – hubba hubba!
A fine choice in their branding.

Kenzo Power
Power of flower.
Bottle lovely.
Juice nearly a wower.

Oh Duchaufour! what’s happening?
You’ve gone all weird aquatic,
With Mag Romana and Fleur de Liane
I’m seriously unerotic.

Tom Ford White Patchouli:
The pornmeister likes his oxymoron.
And who’d’ve thunk that this bland pap
Is where he stopped getting his whore on?

 My excuse? A lousy cold that started mild and has had me in bed for three days straight. And it’s not even pleasant company. Please, do better below. 

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Flora
17 years ago

BWAHAHA! – I’ll have what you’re having!

Quite a raft of poets have come out of the woodwork, I am impressed!

I walked into Saks one fine day
To try some Armani Prive’
But I was so disappointed,
I became double-jointed
So quickly did I turn away.

17 years ago
Reply to  Flora

Yay!:d

lunarose
17 years ago

as a member of the rhyming impaired, let me say………….

^:)^

i remain agog at the talent displayed herein.

Pikake
17 years ago

Lee, thank you for that. Makes me feel so much better for not having had the chance to try any of those yet.

edwardian
17 years ago

I’m with you on James Franco, could it be that G by G pour homme is the perfume equivalent of Pineapple Express, (dull and uninteresting), but he’s so lovable in it…

17 years ago

Also, clearly I need to lay off the Nyquil a bit, eh.

17 years ago

Lee, these are great! I’m not feeling quite creative (and also, should be working) so you won’t be getting much from me except condolences on the illness.

Something’s been going around by us too. Both the S.O. and I have been feeling off since Sunday. Hooray flu! :((

Hope we’re both feeling better in no time. Unicorns and rainbows til then.

helenviolette
17 years ago

a-herm:

2008 was not great
but some juice was quite pretty
Poivre 23 gets top marks
in this fanciful ditty

I was also amused
by the Comme de Garcons
violet space rocks a courtesy
of that hatter Mr. Jones

Another delight
was Amouage Jubilation
but I find in hindsight
she’s from 2007

less tempting to me
was Tom Ford’s white patchoulie
I’d rather be wearin
Britney’s fragrant tomfoolery

Warm woods for women
sprouted the malls
such a pleasant repreive
from the fruity flor-als

March the Impressed
17 years ago

Oh, this was such a treat!!! Thank you so much!!! I keep trying to do perfume reviews with haikus but nothing emerges. Just like what happens with some perfumes.

PS That Aedes did NOTHING for me. But I’d do something naughty for a bottle o’Beige!

17 years ago

Too many words come
to March for her to stick to
Just.Five.Syllables

xo>-)

17 years ago

behold loud scent tamed
on perfumista temptress
wears smack-red lips now

Admin
17 years ago

Two loving friends mock
my inability to
get to the damn point.

Admin
17 years ago
Reply to  March

PS

I had to look up
just how many syllables
I need. Shame on me.

17 years ago
Reply to  March

=))

Louise
17 years ago
Reply to  March

What damn point ;))?

Melissa
17 years ago

I think that I shall never snort
A ‘fume so dull as Dior Homme Sport.
Perhaps, though Gucci emulates,
Their scent my nose neither likes nor hates.

17 years ago

This, for Lee, who’s a bit ailin’
From Musette, his favorite >-)

2008 – in a nutshell:

Big ‘meh’ on mostly new releases
Except for Drama Nuui
I took one sniff and it was bliss
My mind, it went ka-blooey!

And then La Liz, of Zornish fame,
she stole my heart away
with Violets all soaked with Rain
Evoking a Spring Day

My soul was stolen by the Classics
Mitsy, Ondee and Femme
Add Dior vintage and Vacances
for enduring love, not whim

My senses and internal organs
Both physical and evanescent
Delighted in these scented gifts
They’re all such lovely presents!

So there you have it, my saturation
in scent delight is deep
Of all delights, though, Posse is
The One I hope to keep!

=))

violetnoir
17 years ago

Feel better, dear Lee!

I love your little poems. Just a reminder that 2008 was not a good year for new fragrances, at least in my humble opinion. But, oh…I think 2009 will be much, much better.

Hugs!

17 years ago

You brightened up my morning! What a treat.

17 years ago

Preach it, reverend! Hallelujah, I’m with you brother 🙂

And you nailed it re the Aedes. I thought I was the only nonbeliever.

I’m feeling a bit opportunistic, knowing that my merriment is only at the expense of your good health but really sir, having a cold has good effect on your humor. I do hope you feel better soon anyway 😉

Admin
17 years ago
Reply to  Lee

Oh, it’s there. You hadn’t heard? It’s called Grandmere Fatale, I think. Notes of old bath water, dusty potpourri and unwashed socks. Has Duchaufour written all over it.

Erin T / Tigs
17 years ago

Oh, I’d love to get my Dickinson on (who else does modern quatrains? I’m coming up oddly blank…) , but I’m at work. So I will just say I enjoyed this immensely and agree with you on almost everything. Except Power maybe. Didn’t do it for me, though good bottle, I agree. Haven’t tried the LeLabo.

chayaruchama
17 years ago

Dear man- you’re exhausted,
More than I’d divined;
Some newer releases you’ve broadly maligned…
Alas, I can’t fault you-
Those prices- you see ’em-
Seem far more well-suited to a fine museum !

Homage is quite lovely; I’ve sniffed it- but, Jesus !
In order to buy it, you’d have to be Croesus .

I know I’m remiss in my communication-
Consumed with the troubles of family and nation.
But still- I adore you !
That fact never changes-
Despite all my madness, which swiftly deranges.

Forgive me, my darling
For prattle demented-
In our friendship and mania
I am contented.

Kathryn
17 years ago
Reply to  chayaruchama

Re my homage to Homage:
Didn’t mean to say that I could afford it,
Just, quite simply, I truly adored it.

Kathryn
17 years ago

Dear Lee,

Some things in your poetry make me feel a bit sad.
Since when are chic and cut-glass so terribly bad?
And Homage, dear boy, is more than just nice.
It’s an astonishing rose, beyond any price.

Still, I hope that you will feel better quite fast,
And that you poor aching head will clear at long last.
Until then, sweet dreams of James Franco,
And for your quick wit, as always, I thank you.

helenviolette
17 years ago
Reply to  Kathryn

“James Franco…I thank you”- well done!

Olfacta
17 years ago

Can I have some of whatever that cold medicine is?

Louise
17 years ago

Ah, Lee, thanks for the Poetry in the Morning 😡

Too busy chasing truant students to create anything, but I hope your cold is chases completely away right quick >:d<

Mikael
17 years ago

Oh Lee, you made my morning so much better 🙂

17 years ago

dirty musk (head pokes up like one of those desert animals)?

17 years ago

Aedes has wowed me in service and speed,
So I ordered their scent with much hope,
But Venustas on me, smells like a thin reed
excommunicated by a smokey ol’ Pope.

Elena’s Mousson surprised me with melon
that came out of nowhere and bloomed
His Vanilla Galante, may it be a pure helion,
From this aesthete I need a good swoon.

helenviolette
17 years ago

=)) and =d>

White Patch was snoozy huh? I haven’t tried the Venusta yet, but your assessment was what I was afraid of…And I have to agree on the Chanel Beige (chic and cut glass for sure)-I can admire it but its not for me….