12 recent releases

Paco Rabanne 1 million:
From your ad I would’ve thought
You’re butch and young and streamlined,
But you’re more the zaftig sort.

I don’t like Aedes de Venustas Eau de Parfum
that much. You probably don’t agree
But it strikes me as a dank incense
and leaves me shiveringly.

Amouage Homage.
Those round French vowels, so very nice.
But you’re one not yet tested:
Too much rose and too much price.

Chanel Beige takes to the stage
And I know what my problem is –
It’s chic and cut-glass, a class pain-in-the-arse
And I just don’t get that biz.

Dior Homme Sport is unrelated
To its sibling Dior Homme
The latter’s iris is replaced
by a citrus rom-pom-pom.

El Attarine – a luminescent dream
Is how you started out.
But now the more I sniff you,
Dirty musk is all you shout.

Gaiac 10 may be too slight
To command quite all that trouble
To obtain it.  But if more available,
I’d get it at the double.

Gucci by Gucci pour Homme:
Sniffed and not outstanding.
But James Franco – hubba hubba!
A fine choice in their branding.

Kenzo Power
Power of flower.
Bottle lovely.
Juice nearly a wower.

Oh Duchaufour! what’s happening?
You’ve gone all weird aquatic,
With Mag Romana and Fleur de Liane
I’m seriously unerotic.

Tom Ford White Patchouli:
The pornmeister likes his oxymoron.
And who’d’ve thunk that this bland pap
Is where he stopped getting his whore on?

 My excuse? A lousy cold that started mild and has had me in bed for three days straight. And it’s not even pleasant company. Please, do better below. 

  • Flora says:

    BWAHAHA! – I’ll have what you’re having!

    Quite a raft of poets have come out of the woodwork, I am impressed!

    I walked into Saks one fine day
    To try some Armani Prive’
    But I was so disappointed,
    I became double-jointed
    So quickly did I turn away.

  • lunarose says:

    as a member of the rhyming impaired, let me say………….


    i remain agog at the talent displayed herein.

  • Pikake says:

    Lee, thank you for that. Makes me feel so much better for not having had the chance to try any of those yet.

  • edwardian says:

    I’m with you on James Franco, could it be that G by G pour homme is the perfume equivalent of Pineapple Express, (dull and uninteresting), but he’s so lovable in it…

  • Christine says:

    Also, clearly I need to lay off the Nyquil a bit, eh.

  • Christine says:

    Lee, these are great! I’m not feeling quite creative (and also, should be working) so you won’t be getting much from me except condolences on the illness.

    Something’s been going around by us too. Both the S.O. and I have been feeling off since Sunday. Hooray flu! :((

    Hope we’re both feeling better in no time. Unicorns and rainbows til then.

  • helenviolette says:


    2008 was not great
    but some juice was quite pretty
    Poivre 23 gets top marks
    in this fanciful ditty

    I was also amused
    by the Comme de Garcons
    violet space rocks a courtesy
    of that hatter Mr. Jones

    Another delight
    was Amouage Jubilation
    but I find in hindsight
    she’s from 2007

    less tempting to me
    was Tom Ford’s white patchoulie
    I’d rather be wearin
    Britney’s fragrant tomfoolery

    Warm woods for women
    sprouted the malls
    such a pleasant repreive
    from the fruity flor-als

  • March the Impressed says:

    Oh, this was such a treat!!! Thank you so much!!! I keep trying to do perfume reviews with haikus but nothing emerges. Just like what happens with some perfumes.

    PS That Aedes did NOTHING for me. But I’d do something naughty for a bottle o’Beige!

  • Melissa says:

    I think that I shall never snort
    A ‘fume so dull as Dior Homme Sport.
    Perhaps, though Gucci emulates,
    Their scent my nose neither likes nor hates.

  • Musettei says:

    This, for Lee, who’s a bit ailin’
    From Musette, his favorite >-)

    2008 – in a nutshell:

    Big ‘meh’ on mostly new releases
    Except for Drama Nuui
    I took one sniff and it was bliss
    My mind, it went ka-blooey!

    And then La Liz, of Zornish fame,
    she stole my heart away
    with Violets all soaked with Rain
    Evoking a Spring Day

    My soul was stolen by the Classics
    Mitsy, Ondee and Femme
    Add Dior vintage and Vacances
    for enduring love, not whim

    My senses and internal organs
    Both physical and evanescent
    Delighted in these scented gifts
    They’re all such lovely presents!

    So there you have it, my saturation
    in scent delight is deep
    Of all delights, though, Posse is
    The One I hope to keep!


    • Lee says:

      Musette, with the power of your rhymin’
      (Which, by the way, needs no refinin’)
      You’ve sent me ashiver
      With a delicious scent quiver:
      And your advances I won’t be declinin’.


  • violetnoir says:

    Feel better, dear Lee!

    I love your little poems. Just a reminder that 2008 was not a good year for new fragrances, at least in my humble opinion. But, oh…I think 2009 will be much, much better.


  • Linda says:

    You brightened up my morning! What a treat.

  • Divalano says:

    Preach it, reverend! Hallelujah, I’m with you brother 🙂

    And you nailed it re the Aedes. I thought I was the only nonbeliever.

    I’m feeling a bit opportunistic, knowing that my merriment is only at the expense of your good health but really sir, having a cold has good effect on your humor. I do hope you feel better soon anyway 😉

    • Lee says:

      Oh, I’m lots better today. I actively dislike the Aedes number, unfortunately. When’s Duchaufour’s number for luckyscent expected? I thought it was due out by now….

      • March says:

        Oh, it’s there. You hadn’t heard? It’s called Grandmere Fatale, I think. Notes of old bath water, dusty potpourri and unwashed socks. Has Duchaufour written all over it.

  • Erin T / Tigs says:

    Oh, I’d love to get my Dickinson on (who else does modern quatrains? I’m coming up oddly blank…) , but I’m at work. So I will just say I enjoyed this immensely and agree with you on almost everything. Except Power maybe. Didn’t do it for me, though good bottle, I agree. Haven’t tried the LeLabo.

  • chayaruchama says:

    Dear man- you’re exhausted,
    More than I’d divined;
    Some newer releases you’ve broadly maligned…
    Alas, I can’t fault you-
    Those prices- you see ’em-
    Seem far more well-suited to a fine museum !

    Homage is quite lovely; I’ve sniffed it- but, Jesus !
    In order to buy it, you’d have to be Croesus .

    I know I’m remiss in my communication-
    Consumed with the troubles of family and nation.
    But still- I adore you !
    That fact never changes-
    Despite all my madness, which swiftly deranges.

    Forgive me, my darling
    For prattle demented-
    In our friendship and mania
    I am contented.

    • Lee says:

      You need no forgiving,
      For truly it’s known
      That even in madness
      and sadness
      and badness
      You keep people living
      And my heart is your own.

    • Kathryn says:

      Re my homage to Homage:
      Didn’t mean to say that I could afford it,
      Just, quite simply, I truly adored it.

  • Kathryn says:

    Dear Lee,

    Some things in your poetry make me feel a bit sad.
    Since when are chic and cut-glass so terribly bad?
    And Homage, dear boy, is more than just nice.
    It’s an astonishing rose, beyond any price.

    Still, I hope that you will feel better quite fast,
    And that you poor aching head will clear at long last.
    Until then, sweet dreams of James Franco,
    And for your quick wit, as always, I thank you.

    • helenviolette says:

      “James Franco…I thank you”- well done!

    • Lee says:

      I’m sorry that I near-upset you:
      I really did mean little harm
      It’s just that a week being housebound
      Brings me close to the funny ole farm

      For your thanks I send love in return
      And a snuggly wuggly hug.
      And now, my dear, pass me a tissue
      To serve, for my nose, as a plug.

  • Olfacta says:

    Can I have some of whatever that cold medicine is?

  • Louise says:

    Ah, Lee, thanks for the Poetry in the Morning 😡

    Too busy chasing truant students to create anything, but I hope your cold is chases completely away right quick >:d<

  • Mikael says:

    Oh Lee, you made my morning so much better 🙂

  • tmp00 says:

    dirty musk (head pokes up like one of those desert animals)?

  • Aedes has wowed me in service and speed,
    So I ordered their scent with much hope,
    But Venustas on me, smells like a thin reed
    excommunicated by a smokey ol’ Pope.

    Elena’s Mousson surprised me with melon
    that came out of nowhere and bloomed
    His Vanilla Galante, may it be a pure helion,
    From this aesthete I need a good swoon.

    • Lee says:

      I’m sorry you are disappointed
      With both of the juices described;
      Here’s hoping for sure
      That this year offers more
      Of the scents that your doc would prescribe.

  • helenviolette says:

    =)) and =d>

    White Patch was snoozy huh? I haven’t tried the Venusta yet, but your assessment was what I was afraid of…And I have to agree on the Chanel Beige (chic and cut glass for sure)-I can admire it but its not for me….