This post is dedicated to all of you, particularly those of you who own fragrances you find less than stellar due to an unsniffed purchase triggered by rave reviews.
You know you’re a perfumista if:
You’ve bought something unsniffed that you regret. It may seem counterintuitive, but the real mark of perfume obsession isn’t that you love everything you own. It’s that you hate some of it. That bottle of Dune/Rush/Kenzo Jungle you bought unsniffed after an ecstatic review? The one that makes you throw up a little in your mouth? Yeah, sorry about that. People still occasionally offer me their bottles of Worth Courtesan, saying, b!tch, you have it since you like it so much. Bonus points if you: were chemically impaired while purchasing; bought it on eBay worldwide and screwed yourself on the currency conversion; bought an empty bottle, factice, or (as I did) an image of the scent rather than the actual thing. The only proper response is to laugh and add the story to your repertoire. In return, someday you’ll run across a bottle of Venezia in a thrift store and the lady will shrug and say, oh, five dollars, I guess.
You’ve bought multiple concentrations/vintages/versions of the same scent. You need old Femme (skanky/leathery) and new Femme (sweaty/sweet.) You know that the cologne, EdT, EdP and parfum versions of Chanel No. 5 are somewhat different animals, and you want them all in your zoo. You enjoy the variations in peach, moss, patch and musk among your nine vintage bottles of Mitsouko. You like trying them on at the same time so you can compare. You are a freak. Come sit by me, you smell good.
You love a “difficult” fragrance that you used to hate. Maybe you’ve always loved oysters, sashimi and arugula. Or maybe, like me, you had to expand your horizons a little over time. I have learned never to say never when it comes to some of the most pugnaciously assertive scents. Scents as varied as Muscs Kublai Khan, new Femme, Rasputin’s Armpit Ambre Russe and Satan’s Beehive Miel de Bois have wormed their way into my heart. Perhaps one day I’ll add Angel, Tubereuse Criminelle and Borneo to this list.
You know exactly/have no idea whatsoever what you’ve spent on perfume in the last quarter. I’m always fascinated by the quarterly spending polls on NST. Who are these people who track their purchases and their inventory in spreadsheets, along with notes about vintage, source, etc.? Some of them … are you. I take the opposite approach. I have more or less instantaneous perfume-buying amnesia (PBA**). That new box of vintage Fidji on my dresser? Owned that thing forever. Femme? The sweat-fairies brought it. Half-bottle of Cartier Must II? I … decline to answer on the grounds that it may be held against me by someone in this house who thinks I own too much damn perfume already. As if. **Warning: PBA may result in multiple backup bottles you forgot you already had.
You have a deceitful relationship with the US Postal Service. Your mailman looks at you funny. Did that vial of Secretions Magnifique leak into the mailer? Damn. Also you’ve learned to look deep into the eyes of the clerk behind the counter and lie. Nope, nothing liquid, fragile, hazardous or perishable.
You’ve got more vials lying around your place than a crack dealer. On your kitchen counter. In your briefcase. On top of the dryer. Sometimes they’re unlabeled (is this Bandit?) Sometimes the labels got wet or smudged and you spend the next 45 minutes trying to decide what Eau d———— is.
You spend as much time choosing your scent as the rest of your attire. Maybe it’s just for work. Or a job interview. Or maybe it’s a weekend in New York, or three weeks in Bali … or Austria … decants? Samples? A single bottle? Should I buy something there to be a scent souvenir of the trip?!? Panic ensues.
You hang out on perfume blogs. Okay, your turn!
Hi, just doing some browsing for my Christian Dior website. Can’t believe the amount of information out there. Wasn’t exactly what I was looking for, but cool site. Take care.
Often when I smell a new perfume I say, “That would suit [friend X]!” Being a perfume matchmaker…
\:d/ you also know you are when…
you’re not only able to name the noses who created your favorites, you begin to seek out new-to-you fragrances simply because some particular nose created them. And then you buy them blind.
:-\” …when you lie about what you’re wearing and tell none of your smelly friends (my gender neutral phrase for fellow parfumistas) how dazzled you are about your new favorite hard-to-find vintage/discontinued (or about to be)/pre-reformulation UNTIL you’ve managed to purchase your own lifetime back-up bottle supply at the lowest possible price…
Right. Let’s not talk quantities, but here are mine: Le Galion’s Sortilege; Matchabelli’s Abano; Courreges’ Empreinte; Ferre de Ferre; AG’s Eau de Ciel; Coty’s older floral label Lady Stetson; Jacomo Parfum Rare; Rochas Man; Guerlain’s Anisia Bella & Mentafolia; Havana Pour Elle by Aramis; Fendi’s Palazzo in edp. concentration.
Oh, and I guess you also know you’re totally hooked when you specify which concentration/bottle shape/label when recommending a fragrance…
You know you’re a perfumista when getting over a cold is the most ecstatically joyful experience you can imagine.
me: The closet smells wonderful!!!
coworker, wrinkling his nose: I think it smells like smoke.
me: I know! :d
Nope, you’re not alone. I am putting it off as long as possible today, because of an an accidental layering that I doubt I’ll be able to perfectly replicate!
I’m late! But I have to add: you (somewhat!) schedule your showering around your fragrances: if it’s sampling day or just meh perfume, bring on the blank canvas that is post-shower skin! Otherwise, desperately holding off on showering, not wanting those gorgeous basenotes you waited hours for to be washed away. Or is that just me?! *blush*
Definitely not just you. :d
You no longer have to look up any of the acronyms in a Perfume Posse post or comments :-)
Really enjoyed this, thanks!
…
when you must have at least five representative fumes from every line, say Balenciaga, Balmain, Lutens, Ava Luxe, whatever… or when, heaven forfend, you need EVERY fume from a certain line…
when you change scents 3 or more times a day.
Every morning I pick my SOTD by doing this weird, pseudo-algorithmic decision-tree thing in my head, in which my fragrance must match/meet criteria for: mood, season, weather, what color I’m wearing, what style I’m wearing, and of course, where I am going. For example, today, while Black Cashmere would have fit my mood, the season, and the weather, it didn’t make the cut because I was wearing pink scrubs. And while La Chasse suited my look, I found it completely innappropriate for the weather. I went with SL A La Nuit. I’m that kind of freak.
…when you own Diva, l’Arte, Parfume Rare, La Perla, Nikki, Knowing, even though most folks probably couldn’t distinguish those chypres if you wafted by.
ditto Y, Scherrer 1, etc.
Heh – I own more chypres than most I think, even some that are VERY similar to each other, but is it enough? No!
Here’s more:
…when you keep a vial from every bottle you finish, as a “graveyard” of your former fumes.
…when you start collecting perfumes by decade, meaning you must have every blockbuster of the 60s, 70, 80s…
…when you stop buying clothes, or only spend pennies on them in thrift stores, because all that money is better spent on perfume…
You know you are a perfumista when
you can’t part with certain finished vials of rare scents and keep them around to sniff.
you obsessively haunt thrift stores that you know get vintage fragrances, visiting at least twice a week.
you don’t touch your minis, because they’re too cute, but admire them at least once a week.
you have certain special days (such as weekends or holidays) when you wear only samples, others (such as weekdays) when you wear only bottles
I almost forgot. The rather embarasssing: “wow, smell my leather watchband” exclamation at a family dinner.
Oh dear. I fit ALL of those!
1. Here’s looking at you, Yendi. And you too, Ava Luxe Nag Champa. I refuse to admit One Man Show ever made it in here.
2. Not sure why I need three versions of Poison, but I do.
3. L’Arte di Gucci! Rasa! La Myrrh! ( It goes on… )
4. How did all these samples show up? Hmmm.
5. Toys. Soap. Cosmetics. Mysteriously unidentified “bath products”.
6. My desk rattles when I walk by.
7. I’m a t-shirt and jeans type, but SotD choice is THE decision of the day.
8. …Guilty.
I have a decant drawer in office desk.
Wait. La Myrrhe is “difficult”?
Mitsy still hates me (I give it another shot every couple of months or so, just to see if she’s changed her mind. Nope.), but La Myrrhe was love at first sniffaroonie for me.
Aldehydes used to be my big no-go area. La Myrrhe was pretty unforgiving at first, but was one of the frags that converted me to the fizzy side, as I’ve always loved myrrh.
Guilty as charged on all counts. And I anot sorry at all, Your Honor!
Oh, and my “$5 Venezia from the thrift store” happened a coupla weeks ago – except that it was a $6.99 bottle of Josephine. :-D
You know you’ve got it bad when the SA’s in your nearest major department store, not only know you on first-name terms, they call you – on your mobile – when a new Lutens or Goutal comes out!
…and send you cute little invites to come in for new launches, etc.
I figure if my linen closet is now a wee perfumery, I can’t bear to part with
my bubble wrap, find myself standing at the closet door inhaling, playing with samples
as if they were dolls and I was six again, reading blogs till my eyes are bleary, cruising eBay
constantly, admitting that I’ve done it chemically impaired by vino, late at night, own
what non-perfumistas would consider too much, and lastly, admitting to hoarding perfume, then I am on my way to addiction. Or am.
With no guilt. I don’t do the quarterly/spread sheet.
Great post, love the comments.
Oh, god, where is that ROFL emoticon when I need him?! Love all these comments, and Mals marginalia in the The Guide made me laugh and laugh. Lucky Francesca with all that sexy snuffling…
FWIW, I knew I was a perfumista when I read my usual round up of blog posts and realized I’d not only tried all of the perfumes reviewed, but also recognized all the perfumes referenced in the reviews…
A big kiss for all my fellow addicts!
You know you’re a perfumista when guests come to your house, see the hundreds of perfume bottles, and assume you work in the perfume industry. Also, you have a separate fridge just for perfumes and body creams. :-)
And they’re opening a new outlet mall nearby on Thurs. With a perfume discount store. Not that I noticed.
Hey Pam, would this be anywhere in the vicinity of Birmingham? If so, think I smell a road trip. :d
Ann, This is the new outlet mall near Leeds AL. It’s just east of Birmingham on I-20. I plan to try to get there Thurs. or Fri. just to check it out. Will let you know if you like.
Hi Pam, please do. Would love to hear about it. Do you
still have my e-mail address from the other post?
thanks!
Ann,
Do not have your email. Our old emails got wiped out not too long ago (not my fault!)
Hi Pam, it’s anndn at hotmail .com Happy perfume hunting!
Yes. I’m a perfume addict, too. Am guilty of much of the above.
Loved this post and all the comments
Am looking forward to the tea post (another love).
And -of course! – Shoes.
you know you are when…..you are watching a Hoarders episode and suddenly, in the midst of all the cuckoo clocks and shoelaces the camera pans across several dressers filled to the gills with perfume bottles. The interventioner talks about the possibility of the woman having a yard sale – you totally ignore the process and rules of television production and the time/space continuum, frantically trying to figure out where in Texas this lady lives and can you drive down there (from Illinois) and possibly talk her into selling you her hoard.
xo >-)
OMG… Drive to TX for it? Let’s road trip, I’ll go halvesies with you.
Mals,
Can you just imagine? That poor woman…trying to come to grips with selling just a little bit of her hoarded stuff…
…and you and I descent like Mothra and Godzilla (I get to be Godzilla, okay?) on her poor perfume hoard?
😮
xo >-)
:-?………..
I know, I know, that poor lady… Hey, I dig wings, I’ll be Mothra.
It’s not all quantity of perfume. I was just at the supermarket and passed a woman who smelled really good. I turned my cart around and asked her what she was wearing. Ahh, Royal Secret, I used to wear that back in the day. It still smells lovely, even though it’s been reformulated and is less complex.
Oh Gawd. We did taxes for the Oct. 15th extension date — the reason being that PBA kept me from supplying my husband/accountant with my receipts on April 15th. I opened my perfume lab business in 2009, despite not launching a thing in that year, and so… perfume purchases (99% samples) for market-research reasons were deductible. I had sworn up and down that I hadn’t spent over $100 in samples that year. Bottom line is that I did — oh, I did. Hundreds and hundreds. How he managed to accept all that math with a “thank you, that will help a little,” instead of a “WHAAAAAAT!?” I will never know.
I throw any small packages over the side gate and pick them up later after telling my fam, “just bills today.”
You know you are a perfumista when your perfume has its own closet (former linen closet)!
Perfume-buying amnesia! Excellent, I love it. I used to have it until I started writing it all down :-)
I love this post!! And yes please to a tea post. I adored the chocolate one.
I’m a relative newbie, but I still score 7 out of 8 on your diagnostic index (don’t really have that many vials yet– maybe 20?– who’s counting?) More backups than I realized I had?– you bet, and in more than one fragrance too.
And I second your earliest commenters: one also needs lotions, body cremes, bath powder in the beloved fragrances. Good grief, I even bought Fidji bubble bath on *bay. This is embarassing.
No need to be embarrassed here, Gretchen – you are among others of your kind!
You know you’re a perfume addict when:
-your habit requires its own furniture/room/controlled climate.
-you have a waiting list for FBs you inted to purchase that never gets shorter.
-most of the new releases you smell remind of something else you’ve already smelled.
-the new releases that don’t smell like anything else send you into paroxysms of hate or adoration.
-the first 3 letters you type into Google automatically suggest perfume blogs!
I also vote for either tea or shoes for the Friday posts–my tea obsession stretches back much farter than my perfume problem does, and I have only recently completed my multi-state quest for the perfect nude pump.
Hah! I meant ‘farther’, not ‘farter’; must’ve been the cumin-y chili that the SO made last night typing that one!
And just “e” automatically pulls up ebay! :-)
I confess to:
Multiple concentrations/vintages of No. 19, No. 5, and Jolie Madame.
Stuff I bought just *because* it was difficult. (Minis or samples, but none the less, I paid cash money for them.)
Keeping up with my perfume Excel file.
Backup bottles.
Lying to the post office.
Hiding that d*mn bubble wrap from my husband.
Keeping scissors in the car, for that stubborn padded mailer full of samples.
Annoying my children with requests to “Smell this!”
Tips on keeping an Excel file…Pretty please?:x
Long long ago in a galaxy far far away, I had so few perfumes that I could keep them on a single mirrored tray on my vanity. As time passed, one tray grew into two, into three, and eventually into four. When it got to the point of taking almost an hour to dust my vanity, thanks to all the bottles, I realized I had crossed the threshold from afficionado into addict.
I’m fortunate enough to have a large built-in linen closet in my upstairs hallway. Once upon a time, it held sheets, towels, and spare blankets. Now it holds perfume….and a lot of it. Samples are contained (barely) in a six-drawer etui I found when antiquing. Fragrances in frequent rotation are housed in a chest I gutted and had fitted with pull-out shelves.
As is frequently the case with addictions, I’ve developed a whole cadre of behaviors that feed my habit – e-baying, estate saling, swapping, clearance bin hunting (surprisingly, I’ve found some good stuff in clearance bins). And I have a budding home business whose proceeds fund my two major habits — art glass and fragrance.
Please don’t put me in perfume rehab!
Art glass too! Fabulous pairing of interests. I do hope you don’t live near an active faultline.
LOL!!! I never thought about that, really, but if my company should ever transfer me to Calfornia, I should definitely decline.
Uh….
I think I’m in loooooove.
xo >-)
I love ‘I’ve developed a whole cadre of behaviors that feed my habit’ line.. Perfectly said, perfumista.
As Elvis would have said…”thank you (lip curl), thank you very much” ;)
The feeling is mutual, ma’am. :d
You know you’re a perfumista when … uhm … your friend rushes to get to the mailbox first so that her husband won’t ask “ANOTHER bottle of perfume?”
You know you’re a perfumista when your … uhm … second cousin tears open a mailer with her teeth in a hurry to get to the sample inside.
Or so I hear.
Yep, I hear you on the mailbox business. And someone I know also takes her car keys with her to get the mail, so if there is a package that might get her in trouble, she can quickly chuck it in her car trunk and then go on into the house innocently with the “rest” of the mail. Man, are we (oops, she) addicts or what?
snort snort:)
I have mine shipped to my work address. :d
–
You know you’re a purfumista if the bank teller has you fill out a new withdrawal slip because you signed it ‘Vetiveronica’.
Whoopsy daisy.
_
Whoops is right! I’m spewing my tea after reading this — arghhhh!!! =))
toooofunny!
=))
thank you SO much for that!
xo >-)
HAHAHA, that’s to0 oclose for comfort!
Oh, LOVE your nom de parfum, V V!
I Have Found Others Like Myself. Yay! I spent more time picking out a perfume for my wedding day than I did finding the dress. I plan both my outfit and my scent for work the night before. Packing even for short trips upsets me terribly – one scent? What if I start to hate it? Samples? How to coordinate soap/body lotion? Even a long weekend is problematic and don’t even get me started on airlines and those little plastic bags we have to stuff everything in for carry-on. I need to show this day’s postings to my husband so that he knows I’m not the only one…
What scent DID you wear on your wedding day? Inquiring minds want to know.
Well, I just lowered my freak flag from a weekend of flying it with over a hundred perfumistas/perfumists in New York at Sniffapalooza. I did get a bit of a head-rush when I got to Plaza Beauty and a10 foot tall Michael said The Different Company was 60% off. I called some of my bestest pefume pals to ask what they wanted me to get for them! Oh and you know you are a perfumista when you tell the perfume reps and/or SAs that Jarvis is unfortuanately not in town this weekend and Melissa might not be able to stop by either. So maybe I’m an advance person for other perfumistas!
I finally took a picture of my perfume collection to keep on my cellphone so that when people say, “Into perfume? Like, how into perfume? Do you have a lot of it?” I can just whip out the visual aid and their mouths drop open and they say, “Oh,” in that trying-hard-not-to-be-judge-y voice the way you do when someone casually admits to being really into having sex while wearing scuba gear or something. It’s not wrong, exactly, but it’s not quite right, either.
Also, Saturday night an incredibly hot man sniffed my neck and fell in love with my Musc Rav. And I was more excited about the fact that my perfume was being genuinely appreciated than about the hot man. (In my defense, he is married & completely unavailable, but still… hot.)
It’s pretty damned divine, Musc Rav. I get excited when someone is excited about what
I’m excited about.
Great post and comments. I’m chuckling and nodding my head in agreement with all of them. :-D
How about:
You know you’re a perfumista when you carry said decants/samples/bottles to girls night out and try to get your non-perfumista friends as hooked as you are (usually to no avail – but, you keep trying). :”>
Amen to that! Even if you don’t hook ’em, though, it’s fun trying!
Normally they just humor me. It’s especially funny when they get a scrubber that I LOVE…
Or if you’ve been caught multiple times at stoplights sniffing your arms/hands/appendages.
Or if you are on a personal, first-name basis with more than one SA at more than one fragrance house.
Or, if you found one perfume blog (such as the posse or NST) and now read 15-20 on a regular (daily) basis, and have reaped some really wonderful acquaintances/friendships.
You haunt TKMaxx (or TJMaxx in the US I suppose) checking for discounted scents. Even though you know they usually overflow with stuff you wouldn’t wear if it were free, and the various (but smell-alike) perfumes named for actresses, singers or Paris Hilton.
Because one day – ONE DAY – there will be a bottle of whatever your Holy Grail scent is. For pennies. One day….
(Though I have to say, my recent score of Imperial Oppoponax for £9.99 was pretty good. And they have two Miller Harrises at the moment. Yay the Maxx!)
There you go again, Miller Harris. Our TJM never has anything interesting, never. I do wonder, why is everyone dumping the MH line right now, though?
Yes, I noticed that, too. They were on sale at my local Bloomingdale’s when I was in there this spring.
Hmmm. I wonder what’s going on?
I haven’t seen them on sale anywhere else in London. And so far TKM only have Terre de Bois and Citron Citron (I keep hoping for Fleur Oriental, but no joy yet).
I thought one mini cabinet would hold them all. Nope. Now the collection is invading my dresser.
I have never counted. I have to say that I am afraid to do that. (may do it soon just to see)
But I did “come out” to my family. They are well trained. My husband hits perfume counters while he is traveling for business now.
I also put way more effort into my SOTD over my outfit of the day. Haha
Once they crawl out of the cabinet it’s all over. Do Not Count.
Yep, it’s time to “declutter” the sock drawer to make way for more essential things (like minis and decants)! LOL
The sock drawer! Mmm-mmmhhhmmuuhaahaahaa!!! Now why didn’t I think of that?
I’m thinking of learning Excel so I can keep a proper perfume inventory…can anyone help me with this?
…If you know the name of the perfumer (“normal people” don’t know if it’s not on the label)
…if you have a priortitized list of FBs to buy. Bonus points if that list is more than 5 items long/
Perfect, I meant to add that to my list — if you recognize the names Jean-Claude Ellena, Yann Vasnier, Sophia Grojsman, etc.
Ouch!
You know you are one when you hide the credit card bill from your wife! I been on a niche buying spree for over 4 months! As all of you know that is a big bill. I have bought over 15 past 2 months. Can’t stop the insantity! Oh who am I kidding, don’t want it to end. Now where is my order of Memoir Man!
Cheers!
Ruh roh. Count them against some future purchase? I’ve done that … where is my whistling emoticon when I need him?
Ah, yes, you’ve got our number. All our dirty little secrets are now out into the light. I especially squirmed in embarrassment at one some people have already shared: Your back-up bottles have back-up bottles (looking at all you vintage Cartier Musts and original Organza Indecence). I think we all must have the hoarding gene. Incidentally, I’m the same way about tea; if I really love it, gotta have a few back-up packages, tins, etc.
BTW, March, yesterday I wore the dee-lish fruit bomb that is Must II EDP in your honor. If you ever get tired of its nearly overripe charms, you know where it will find a good home :-\” (But I really hope you just enjoy the heck out of it!!)
Heh, I put on Must II too! It really is fruital… perfect in this sort of weather, though. Thanks again for the introduction to Must.
A lot of my favorites have been covered, but I’d add… You know you’re a perfumista when you have so many bottles stashed here and there that you can’t FIND them all! In the worst case, this can lead to purposeful re-purchasing of something you know you already own… somewhere.
I can almost always find the specific bottles if I am looking for them, but I forget I own something and re-buy it. :”> And decants I misplace.
I don’t know about Perfumista, but you know that you are a ***PERFUME ADDICT*** when you start googling the notes (and materials from interviews with the perfumer) in some frags that you like, desperate to figure out how soon you need a FB though you have a perfectly good decant in hand, because you are worried about scarcity in the materials and reformulation. *sigh*
Guilty!
Oh noooos! Nava, please post later! Or comment with a quick off-the-top-of-your-head list! You aren’t my scent twin, but you are definitely my scent sister!
I am pretty sure Nava’s playing on Friday.
No worries – she’ll be on the Top 10!
xo >-)
Sometimes I consider myself lucky to have discovered perfume so late in my life (well, not *that* late) since I now have the freedom and disposable income to spend on such madness… but then I look at my competing hobbies and shake my head. Perfume is the most expensive of them all and provides the least lasting result.
*Some of my other hobbies include playing the fiddle and knitting/spinning yarn. I am also a Fiber-Addict and secretly desire owning my own alpaca llama (which would drastically tip the fiber-addiction into the expensive category!)
At least perfume takes up less space than a llama!!
Aha, another fiber addict. At least I “only” knit and don’t spin. . .
So sad, I saw fiber addict and thought of … you know, fiber. Yours is way more fun to contemplate. :”>
Actually, the usual term is “fiberholic”. The fiber stashes take up a lot more room, too, plus we have to fear the dreaded moth.
The moth! 😮 :-ss I just hauled a bunch stuff to the drycleaner … how do I get rid of them?