Exhausted Sigh

So. Yeah, exactly. Not reviewing anything today. It’s been a long winter. My mom just went home today after her third surgery since December.

It just feels like a nonstop worry-fest for three months, too many days in the hospital. I’m sure a lot of you have done that. But we think we’re at the end of it and this surgery should put a 5-year-old broken ankle finally in a place where the pain and surgeries will be over. And have you ever just felt like your soul was weary? And I don’t know why. I didn’t go through anything, my mom has been shouldering all of this pain and trauma like a trooper. Much as I enjoy comparing notes on who the cutest doctor is and accusing her of being a cougar, I’m kinda done with spending this much time with health care professionals.

And it’s spring. Kinda. But not really, says the fire in my fireplace I just flipped on. But I’ve pulled out my Byredo Tulipe and my vintage Dior Diorissimo parfum, and I’m watching my daphnes green up and know spring is coming, and all I can do from now until then is help my soul stay lifted until it floats again on its own.

What are you doing or wearing as you see spring off in the distance, but not quite here yet? I’m doing a food cleanse too. Not a fasting one, just one that’s certain types of foods, those that are alkaline, lots of greens. I just feel like I need to clear out my system and reset. You?

  • Tommasina says:

    Another one, printed on a bookmark:

    “Always remember that you are bigger than anything that can ever happen to you.”

    OK, no more from me today!

  • Tommasina says:

    I just found this on a friend’s FB page and it struck a chord with me; maybe it will for others, too:

    ?”Life is a series of problems: either you are in one now, you’re just coming out of one, or you’re getting ready to go into another one (…) You can focus on your purposes, or you can focus on your problems.”

    ~~ Rick Warren

    Hope it doesn’t sound too preachy! Love and Light to all.

  • FragrantWitch says:

    ‘ Endure and save yourself for times of happiness’ – this quote was on a card a friend gave ‘me years ago. It always stuck in my mind because sometimes that is all you can do. I think it is ultimately the most healing thing because you aren’t putting on a smiley face you are just plodding through something that needs to happen and forcing yourself to do otherwise can jeopardise your future wellbeing. Bright blessings, Patty.

  • DJ says:

    I hope your mother’s recovery is easy and that you are recharging slowly and gently (sounds like it).

    just took a cheesecake out of the oven (it’s for a friend’s birthday, not for me!) and I have to keep a food diary for the next month for health reasons…bleh. Also been trying to hike with the dog a bit when the weather is nice enough. Fresh air in early spring (it feels like autumn here in my part of England, though).

    been trying to beat the health blues by wearing makeup and perfume–wore Cabotine yesterday, it was chilly and wet outside. Cabotine & a cashmere sweater :) a little joy.

    For silly kicks, I painted my two thumbnails with multicoloured glittery polish, my ‘Blackberry bling’ haha.

  • nan says:

    Winter is still having its way here in the northlands. This morning snow was falling, roads were icy, and traffic accidents were aplenty. No spring perfumes just yet. Instead, I went with Ajne’s Aphrodite, a cozy blend of myrrh, deep roses, and vanilla that is spicy, sweet, and almost woody.

    I hope spring brings brighter prospects to you and your family.

  • minette says:

    yep, been there. will probably be there again, as my parents age. glad to hear your mom is out of the woods and with grace, out of pain.

    ahhh… spring… have wanted flowers lately, and so have reached for l’artisan mimosa pour moi, gucci rush (where has this been all my life?!), and kai oil among others.

    your daphnes reminded me to bring out my own daphne!

  • Rednails says:

    My prayers for the extended PP family’s good health.

    Jews and Christians will both be celebrating their spiritual rebirth soon; may we all feel resurrected.

    Like the New York weather, I’m loitering in winter, still wearing those heavy comfort scents: KL, Theorema, Habanita, Coco, etc.

  • Gretchen says:

    Worrying about someone else’s well-being can be more draining than facing one’s own medical problems (I say, having done both). Be sure to coddle yourself when you can.

    Temperature here yesterday: 85F. Today’s predicted high: 88F. I’m praying for spring to stick around for a while – go away, summer, go away!

  • maggiecat says:

    Rest and take care of yourself please – I’ve been there and done that – more than once – and I know the toll it takes. Spring has brough an arthritis flare and upcoming carpal tunnel surgery to deal with – but it’s still getting very pretty around here with all the flowers and heady scents in the air. And I’ve gravitated to light floral scents as well. I may just break out that Diorissimo myself!

  • Dionne says:

    I’m not surprised you’re weary.

    11 years ago now son#3 was born with heart defects. It was months of hospitals and surgeries and scary drugs before he was finally given the all-clear, and I am very happy to report that he is now a goofy, healthy, regular boy.

    So even though you may tell yourself you didn’t personally have the health problems, trust me, waiting in hospitals and worrying about loved ones is EXHAUSTING. The kind of exhausting that doesn’t go away with just a couple of good nights sleep.

    Also, just to give you a heads-up: don’t be surprised if you crash *really crash* once your mom is all recovered and home. That’s pretty typical for the primary helper in this kind of situation. So be gentle on yourself this coming spring. Go slower. Order more takeout. Leave the laundry unfolded. Get away for a week and lie on a beach doing nothing if you can. Watch videos or read books that make you laugh. Putter in a garden with flowers if that’s your thing. Jsut give your weary soul some time to recoup.

    Spring is still a month away where I live, but I’m starting again on my quest to find something green that I can actually wear. And when I get sick of those green things going rancid on me yet again…. I pull out my forest-y incenses. Because I rock those ;)

  • Marle says:

    Keep up the good work.

    The grass is just starting to green up and bulbs are emerging. I am enjoying Calamus (a favorite when I need to remember wet green), and Hilde Soliani Il Tulipano. I also snuck a bit of Frederick Malle En Passant to remember what lilac smells like, although it’s too early for lilac. (making note to myself about FB of En Passant) Next, I will probably start on a variety of Iris scents.

  • LindaB says:

    You’re doing the right thing by taking care of yourself with the cleanse and knowing that things will eventually right themselves. I hope this is all a distant memory for you very soon.

    I’m in NJ where we may get hit with significant snow tomorrow. I’ve been burying my nose in heavy, vanilla scents this week. SL Bois de Vanille, CSP Vanille Abricot, as well as a multitude of vanilla body washes and hair conditioners. I’ll also add that I’m in high gear dieting / working out mode and I guess I’m finding my sugar fix through scent!! lol

    Big vanilla scented positive vibes heading your way from Jersey…

  • Musette says:

    Patty –

    It’s just as hard for those who sit and wait, hence your exhaustion (and fear is very draining). I’m glad to know your mother is on the mend and that things are looking up. Now is the time to be still and get your own self recentered.

    We have had a difficult winter, with many personal and financial worries but I am determined to declare them Success! And somehow, in our darkest hour, things always turn around (seriously! I have had such wonderful experiences with that).

    And I just got such a nice gift – a casual friend just jumped in to help me do a niche marketing push – unasked! That totally selfless,generous act has lifted my spirits SO high, to know that someone cares enough to stay awake thinking about how to help a casual friend!

    It’s a rough world out there, and we are constantly beset – but there are pockets of such beauty and grace….hold on to those, all of you.

    xox >-)

  • Rappleyea says:

    I know exactly what you mean, Patty. Sleep will take care of being tired, which is physical, but being weary is of the soul and is a whole different thing! I will send you light.

    Meditate and take good care of yourself.

  • Susan says:

    Project for this weekend is spring cleaning and even above that sorting through all the clothes my daughter has outgrown. We just got our huge twice-annual bag of hand-me-down clothes from my friend, so we’ll try to get the closets and drawers reorganized.

    Best wishes for your mother’s recovery.

  • pam says:

    Patty, I hope your mother is finally on the mend. Went through that last year with my mother, and since I live 400 miles away, my sister was in the role you are in and I came when I could. She, too, had more than one surgery to repair cracked bone, and at one point the surgery itself created more problems. But now she is doing well (thank God, and knock on wood. Let’s cover all bases.)

    Here in the Deep South, Spring has arrived, complete with pollen, although this week has been chilly and rainy. Heard about the anticipated snow storm in the NE. I’m sorry! With the dreary rain this week I have gravitated toward citrus and lavender and am currently wearing Caron Pour un Homme. By nightfall I go for my comfort scents, like Habanita.

  • Elizabeth says:

    Prayers and well-wishes for you and all exhausted commenters! :x
    We in New England are anticipating a slush-storm (snow+rain) so Spring is dragging her feet. I hang onto my winter comfort scents; it’s a stare-down between me and Mother Nature. SOTD: Kenzo Flower Oriental. Hold on, chillun, hold on. @};-

    • Patty says:

      This is the hardest part of winter – the part we keep thinking should be over. January, it’s easy to accept the snow and cold and gloom. But April, I want sun and blooms and happiness!!!

  • Ann says:

    Hi Patty. Sorry you’ve had a rough time of it, but very glad (for both of you) that your mom is now at home. It HAS been a long, weary winter, and this week of chilly days, gray skies and rain hasn’t helped usher it out.
    Hugs to all those who are struggling. But take heart, everyone — spring should be here to stay very soon!!

    • Patty says:

      Thanks, Ann. I feel so fortunate that she’s in great health except for this. And we all want it to be over so much so she can get back to sprinting around doing all of her things she loves doing.

  • Marsha says:

    I’m glad that your mother is finally doing better with her ankle. You described it perfectly – my soul is exhausted too. For the last few months, I’ve gotten an upper respiratory virus twice, my mother’s doctor gave her narcotic painkillers and they made her paranoid and she accused me of hiding them and threatened to hand me over to the police and because of getting the upper respiratory viruses twice, I’m suffering from total exhaustion and achiness. I can barely keep up with my schoolwork. My soul is weary too. I’m just hoping for spring to come so I can get out and walk again. I’m leaning on 10 Corso Como right now because it’s the only thing that doesn’t bother my nose because I live in eastern NC which is allergy central.

    • Francesca says:

      Oh, jeez, I’m sorry, that sounds terrible.
      Have been wearing a lot of 10 Corso Como, too. Talk about comfort scent.

      • Marsha says:

        I absolutely love it1

        • Musette says:

          Marsha –

          I so feel your pain on both counts! My dad (90) suffers from frequent UTIs and right before onset the nurses call me and I have to go over and get him calmed down. Luckily they are starting to listen to me (the UTIs have become chronic) – when he gets that absurdly paranoid and recalcitrant we know it is onset so usually they can catch it before it lands him in the hospital. Meds/lack thereof…it’s always such a crapshoot.

          Hope things get better for you AND your mom!

          xo >-)

    • Patty says:

      Oh, sweetie, that is awful. I can take physical exhaustion – love it actually! But spiritual exhaustion you just have to surrender to and wait for it to wash over you. Trying to be happy or frilly like my normal self just makes it worse. But people not wanting to be around me becuase I’m not all peppy and perky makes it worse too!

      Hang in there, it will pass, it’s just hard to summon the patience for it.

    • Tommasina says:

      Marsha, I live in allergy-ridden (central-ish) NC, too: awful, isn’t it? I’m now wondering where you’re at school, and what you’re studying (I’m nosey like that). No need to tell me, of course! Hope everyone hangs on and feels better soon. Seems this year’s been extra tough for many.

  • Francesca says:

    I hope this will be the end of your mom’s (and you and your sisters’) ordeals with all her surgeries.

    My soul has been weary and I have been SO offtrack since I fractured a couple of vertebrae about a year and a half ago. Slowly climbing out of that situation.

    And spring: huh? In New York, we have gallery pear trees on lots of streets, which make the most beautiful white-blossomed display in the spring. The buds are getting bigger and bigger and….today there is a severe winter storm watch. And let’s not talk about northern CT where I have a tiny little weekend cottage. Buried in ice.

    Still: It’s not northern Japan, so, much to be grateful for.

    • Patty says:

      You don’t really appreciate your health until something happens to you or someone else. Then you realize how fragile your well-being is. Maybe that’s what this is.

      I’m glad you’re climbing out of it! May the climb be short and have a lot less effort for you!

  • Sherri M. says:

    Hugs to you–there is nothing quite so exhausting or depressing as sitting around doctors’ offices and hospitals, and the weather is certainly not helping right now, either (cold, wet and gray here as well).

    The food cleanse is a great idea. Spring really is coming, and it will help you feel so much better. I need inspiration to get started losing 10 lbs.; maybe a little food cleanse would help get the ball rolling in the right direction. Sounds like you are taking the right steps even when things look kinda dreary.

    Haven’t been wearing alot of perfume lately due to allergies. After March’s Belle Helene review yesterday, I pulled out a sample of Cardinal Peche and decided (again) it would be stunning on someone else but couldn’t stand it on myself. For the most part though, I’ve been sticking to the ever-gentle and comforting Lady Primrose Tryst to get thru this “darkness before dawn” time.

    Hope your mom is done with all this surgery, and Spring arrives soon for everyone! :-)

    • Patty says:

      I may need to pull out the Peche. It works so great on me. I’m not sure I’m ready for that level of flibbertygibbet, but maybe it will help pull me out of this?

  • Amy K says:

    I know exactly what you mean. My two remaining grandparents will both be gone in a few months at most (one emphysema, one terminal cancer), and I just found out that my father also has cancer. We find out next week if he’ll require chemo in addition to surgery. This year needs a reset button! I hope your mother feels better very soon, and that you don’t have to see the inside of another hospital for a long time.

    • Musette says:

      Amy! That’s a lot to bear. Sorry I can’t reset your year but here’s a >:d< and a solid prayer for you and your family. Stay strong, darlin' xo >-)

    • Mary says:

      Hang in there, Amy. That is a lot to have going on. Wishing you some beautiful spring flowers for comfort– a reset is a good way to start Spring.

    • Meg says:

      Really puts things in perspective. Wishing you strenth through these rough times.

    • Patty says:

      Oh, Amy, how hard for you, and I wish the same for you, though it doesn’t sound like that’s going to happen for a while, but I really do hope it does. Wishing you all the comfort you can find going through this. xoxo

  • Meg says:

    Well-wishes through this trying time. On top of all that exhuastion you’re facing, I find this to be a pretty exhausting time of the year as well, weather-wise: we’ve made it through the entire wearying winter, and it’s not quite spring-like or warm enough yet to be energizing.

    I, too, need some energy and propping from somewhere: I am finishing the most intense semester of my M.A., and I just feel unbelievably and thoroughly ‘done.’ My eyesight, mental, and physical health are all suffering from the long hours I spend on the computer or under the fluorescent lighting (usually 11-16 hrs).

    Anyway, rant over. I have been wearing a lot of demeter dirt to match my mood–and also sampling the new Balenciaga Paris. Can’t make up my mind about it: sometimes it light sweetness seems just right for the upcoming weather, other times I am all to aware of the ‘thinness’ complatnt I have read in reviews. I am probably just looking for a new love too hard.

    • Francesca says:

      I’ve been eyeing my full bottle of Paris, but I think it’s really a summer scent. It’s beautiful. Give it about 6 weeks before trying it again. I have some spring/summer fragrances I’ve been using in hopes of bringing on the spring, but not Paris. For that, I’m going to wait til the weather has actually turned.

    • Patty says:

      Oh, that sucks!!! I really like that new Balenciaga. I need to hunt more down so I can play with it. I just had a sample, but it was really great!