Portia’s Best Condom Commercial EVER!!

Heya Perfume Posse!
So great to be here. It’s Friday so Portia here from AustralianPerfumeJunkies bringing you something that I completely fell A over T for! Sorry it’s not fragrantly referenced but really it’s so fecking good I just wanted to share it with you all.

There you go, BRILLIANT! Wear a condom. Tell your friends and family.

The reason it’s all so short today is that I completely forgot I’m flying out at sparrows fart in the morning and am now MADLY running like a screaming BANSHEE around my house looking for shit that I put somewhere so I won’t forget it and, you guessed it. FORGOT IT!! It’s a great gig though with me MCing the opening of a great new rainbow type space in our nations capital, Canberra.

What fragrances have I packed? I have taken a bunch of things that people have given, sent or lent to me.

Clayton from WhatMenShouldSmellLike gave an un-named decant
Sheila Eggenberger from TheAlembicatedGenie sent Scandal by Roja Dove
Undina from Undina’sLookingGlass sent New Look 1947 by DIOR
I also packed Sweet Redemption by Kilian, Leather Krem SOIVOHLE and Golden Cattleya Olympic Orchids.

OMG!!! Gotta go. SHITTY Mc Shit SHIT! Please drop in on my friends blogs. They’d LOVE to see you all, tell them I said HI! While you are looking at new blogs go see Arielle’s fabulous rant on ScentsOfSelf it will make you want to stand up and applaud, genius!

We also have a super GIVEAWAY on AustralianPerfumeJunkies this week, go check it out. We love to see you there too.

Love, kisses, hugs and wishes for your good health, great wealth and happiness till next Friday.
Portia xx


  1. That commercial was hilarious! And as badly as it needs to be, it would never, ever be shown on TV in America.

    • It is great! It has been on here in the states, and I’m wracking my brain trying to remember just what chanel I saw it on. Chances are high it was a cable one!

  2. Loved your post, loved the commercial. That girl’s adorable. I also liked that the almost-lovers are interracial.

    • Yeah, great on all counts, and when she’s like, “See you in class Tim” HILARIOUS!! And Tim is so EVERY GUY in that position. Love it,
      Portia xx

  3. Brilliant advert! That girl rocks and I hope inspires lots of other kick-ass girls. May it air everywhere! Coming of age in the late eighties and early nineties with the explosion of AIDS awareness (once the world realised that it wasn’t specifically a homosexual problem- duh!) condoms were both de riguer and a subject of mortifying embarrassment. Strange combination that! I’m glad it is much more of an open discussion now and that girls stand up for themselves. I sincerely, truly hope my daughters will say ‘wrap it up to GO’ when the time comes- especially if they get up to the shenanigans I did! :Censored:

    • It’s funny to think the things we did in times that were fraught with danger. I hope your girls have the message straight, it makes shennanigans more fun, less stressful. He He. I am just dodging the traffic in memory lane, GOOD TIMES,
      Portia xx

  4. The commercial was great.. but I’m cracking up at “at sparrow’s fart in the morning”. Never heard that before.. love it.

    • Actually Patty I think Zero Dark Thirty happens, then sparrow fart then butt crack of dawn. And they only happen in Buttf*ck Idaho, where I am currently thinking of buying a property to settle down on.

      PS Gig was Amazing!! More politicians than you can poke a stick at and more than 80 performers. We raised a bunch of money and there is now to be a home for the GLBTI Community and their friends & family in our nations capital, Canberra.

      Feeling very chuffed,
      Portia xx

  5. No matter how cranky I am the lovely Ms. Portia always manages to make me smile.

  6. Totally agree with Poodle! Your posts are a great way to kick off the weekend, Portia. Glad to hear your event went so well, too.

  7. Just got back from Britt, IA. Aka The Back of Beyond..and came back to this! Shitty McShit SHIT? OMG. I didn’t think I could love you more. But I do. I DO! And I love this condom spot! Interestingly, I was in The Wal Mart yestiddy and there, in the condom aisle, was a teenaged couple, checking them out. They saw me and jumped back, blushing…and then were stunned when I gave them a big smile and thumbs UP! Smart kids!!!!

    xoxo :Devil:

  8. And….fwiw, looking at this spot made my stomach clench. I came of age in the mid-70s. Aiiiiyyy. When I think of it. Our only real concern was not getting pregnant! When I think about the late 70s early 80s club scene…the….the…yikes!!!!


    xoxo :Devil:

    • YAY!! Loving you right back Musette.
      The 80’s was a whirl. How did I survive? It was pure luck, lost almost a whole generation of friends here in Sydney, it was gruesome to say the very least.
      I am happy for that couple of condom kids, and happy I’ve made you smile with my Shitty Mc SHIT .
      What were you up to in the back of beyond if it’s not private?
      Portia xx

      • Heck no. Nothing private about it. Get this, Portia: I drove FIVE HOURS, from one backwater dot on the map to an ever MORE backwatery dot…to watch a bunch of Draft Horses stomp around a ring. Seriously. I do it every year (though this is probably my last, for lots of reasons)…..but yeah. The Britt IA Draft Horse Show.

        I’m a moron.

        xo :Devil:

        • Was it fun? Do you have draft horses or are the a fancy? I used to go to the yearling sales with my Dad sometimes, not draft horses though. It was a big day out and we got sausage sizzle, I think?
          Anyway I like the smell of horses and their biggness. I used to ride too but that was years ago,
          Portia xx

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