Chanel Coco Noir didn’t have to be a great perfume. It didn’t even have to be a particularly good perfume. This could have been a totally average perfume, and I still would have bought it for that gorgeous black-and-gold bottle. But somehow Coco Noir couldn’t even manage that. This is a mediocre perfume, and I honestly don’t understand how Chanel can sell it with a straight face.
Fans of the original Coco will recognize very little of their beloved perfume in Chanel Coco Noir. It’s actually much closer to Coco Mademoiselle, but worse. Imagine Coco Mademoiselle with less of those pretty floral top notes and significantly more of that sour, synthetic patchouli, and you’ve got a very good idea of Coco Noir. Man, this is just such a letdown. I was so excited by the prospect of a new oriental fragrance in the mainstream Chanel lineup, but this is just another hot mess of a fruitchouli. If I sound overly grumpy about this, it’s because I just know that this is going to be a huge seller and I’m going to have to smell it everywhere.
Why is Chanel Coco Noir so bad? I mean, is this a joke? A dare? DAMMIT CHANEL, I told you to stop playing Truth or Dare at those slumber parties!