Oh My Giddy Aunt! how are we here so bloody quickly?!? This year has sped by and I’m hardly ready to embark on another year, let alone the whole Christmas debacle. TWO WEEKS! Nothing has been organised. My BFF and her family are feuding hardcore. There is emotional blackmail, withholding of love, lies, deception and plain out ugly behaviours. To be fair, this has been simmering for decades. It’s blown up spectacularly. BFFs mental health is suffering terribly from it and there is absolutely nothing I can do but be a friend.
I know she’s not the only one suffering this holiday season. No matter what your creed, this time of year is hard.
Best advice: You’ve got two weeks. Make a few plans to do things you like, eat something you enjoy, get outside even if it’s just to sit and watch the world go by with a cuppa. The things you do don’t need to be expensive, lavish or complicated. Start by washing your face and brushing your teeth. Spritz some perfume. Put the TV/radio on or grab a book/magazine/newspaper and float away. If you can, take a walk, even in the cold a walk around the block is an amazing reset (but be safe, obviously). Last year I did a full post on Christmas Giving, Hoping and Coping.
If the Black Dog really gets its teeth in then here is a link to USA and International HELP LINES. They are waiting for your call. In fact, they’ve given up their Christmas to be of service. Make their day and make the call. Them helping you could also be the thing that’s helping them get through it all too.
TWO WEEKS till Christmas
This year I spent a large part of my late nights in November writing Christmas Cards. The envelopes are all scented with Penhaligon’s Vaara. Used up most of a 10ml decant. I had forgotten how pretty it is. Fruity roses and low key sweetened by honey and tonka. Long discontinued in Australia but still available in the USA. They all went out on December 1st. I’m not sure if I did cards two or three years ago. We have had a hectic life and I bought them but never sent. Each year I like to buy some Australiana cards for my overseas friends and something a bit more traditional for the Aussies.
Presents? Well, I have collected a truck load over the year. No big statement gifts in 2024. Just a few useful, useable trinkets and fragrant things. Something to open on the day. If our friends and family don’t know how much we love them by now then they are not paying attention.
We always have a Christmas Eve here. Never very big or cray cray. Just a few of our nearest and dearest and Jin does his famous Roast Pork with OODDLES of crackling. I do some salads and roast veggies. We watch a Christmas movie and laugh at how cheesy it is and at how much we love it. Then we have some pudding, ice cream and hot brandy custard. It’s one of my favourite nights of the year.
No matter what you do, with whom or without, my hope is that you get a little bit of peace during this overwhelming time.
HUG
Portia xx
Thank you for your lovely and important post, Portia – it can be a very difficult time of year. Feuds abound in my family, but I cherish the small group of us who are still speaking. (I’m speaking to everyone, but there are those who won’t speak to people who are speaking to other people and what a mess it is sometimes…) My hubby and I are on a dream trip – off season Mediterranean, currently in Greece – and tried very hard to finish up Christmas plans before we left, mostly successfully.
Wishing all of you the love and joy that comes with the true meaning of Christmas!
GAH! Family feuds are awful. Sorry you’re dealing with it.
YAY for dream trips through the Med! My hope is that one day I can get Jin to agree to a Med cruise. He’s strangely oppositional to the idea. Have a wonderful time.
HUG
Portia xx
What a lovely post! I’m sorry your BFF is having family drama but oh boy does this time of year weigh on some folks. One thing that’s helped me is it’s been warmer than usual for this time of year, and every day that it’s not incredibly cold is one day closer to spring! I do feel like the holidays came up FAST this year.
Thanks March,
YAY for warmer winters, even though we know it’s not for good reasons. Yeah, suddenly it’s December! WTAF!
HUG
Portia xx
Portia, I love you with every fiber of my being. You have such a zest for life and you love without reservation! May you have a lovely Christmas with your dears and my best wishes for BFF to find some peace within her family dynamic.
xoxo
Love you right back Musette.
Returning all good wishes with added smooches.
BIG HUGS
Portia xxx
Best wishes for a calm & serene holiday for all of you — including your BFF, of course. Love your cards, especially the Aussie ones in the lower left-hand corner !
Thank you Suzanne,
Aren’t they fun? I don’t know why we Aussies need to make our Christmas cards super Australian but it always makes me smile.
Portia xx
Portia, I fell in love with you so long ago. The moment came when I was watching a video of you with a friend, sniffing a scent. You were vocally ecstatic over it. No holds barred.
I always write this, and will again. Your joy at life and the simple things always reminds me to be in the moment and to appreciate life, no matter how outwardly mundane it seems.
Tomorrow is my birthday and I will raise my solitary glass of eggnog and toast you joyously. Thank you for being YOU.
Happy Birthday!!!
I hope tomorrow is a lovely day for you.
Thank you, Maya! : )
Wishing you a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
Musette-Sister Sagittarius! Thank you!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MzCrz,
You know how to make a man cry. Very useful talent.
Hope your season is full of small fun moments.
HUG
Portia xx
Thanks for the lovely post and especially for the link. It’s an especially trying time of the year normally. adding in stress doesn’t help. I hope things work out for your BFF.
So many of my friends right now are going through truly evil times- serious illness, loss of spouses- sometimes I feel a little “survivor guilt.”
TOM! Must let you know that you inspired me to book at our favourite Chinese for Christmas Night. I went online, noted that I could book and did. Just Jin and me. We were so excited but then get a phone call. Sorry, not open Christmas or Boxing Days. Now we are thinking of going to a Korean BarBQ.
Yes, I know all about survivor guilt. Hard to shake. I for one am very happy you survive and flourish.
Love you buddy,
Portia xxx
Thanks for the message Portia. I really, truly needed that. Several months ago, our son (27) told us he was going “no contact” and walked out of our lives. This will be our first Christmas without him. It’s been so weird to not buy gifts for him. I’m trying to concentrate on our daughter, son-in-law, and “honorary son” instead. Those three will make the day fun. Also contributing to a charity, reminding myself of my blessings, blah, blah, blah. Lots of good music to practice and sing. puts on a brave face
Oh, Dina C – wishing you comfort and peace, darling. I know it’s cold comfort but I know so many loving, wonderful parents who are experiencing that same thing – sometimes a child-person has a journey that diverges from those who love them. Just love him. And also love yourself.
You are worthy of that love.
xoxoMusette
OH DinaC, sending you some extra hugs and love.
Family can be so fraught.
Give yourself some time for extra cries.
HUG
Portia xx
I wish everyone a happy holiday/winter solstice – however you choose to celebrate (or not). Remember that the winter solstice is the shortest, therefore the darkest day of the year. The next day the light comes back more and more!
That makes me happy…….as will Chinese food. 🙂
OOOH! ChiNESE food. Drooool.
(alas, I’m on ‘Ham, Dammit’ duty.)
Hey there Maya,
Woo Hoo for Chinese Food at Christmas. SO GOOD!
Portia xx
Wishing you, Jin and the Posse readers a holiday season full of love, joy, and warmth, and a merry Christmas for those that celebrate. Your Christmas Eve get together sounds wonderful, have the best time. We are having family dinner on Christmas Eve and attending a friend’s open house on Christmas Day. I appreciate your post reaching out and offering support to those that find the holidays difficult. xoxo
Thanks Kathleen,
Hope your days are full of calm enjoyment too.
HUG
Portia xx
Food is ordered for pick up & deliver on the 23rd. All but one gift is bought. Family including my brother’s new gf at coming here for Boxing Day.
Just hoping DH isn’t ill enough to need admission to hospital during the holiday period. He didn’t tolerate his previous chemo very well, lots of admissions with acute sepsis.
Wishing everyone a peaceful & healthy holiday period
Good Luck with DH through the holiday period and I hope your Boxing Day is full of comfortable and easy living Alityke, also that everyone jumps up and does the washing up for you.
Portia xx
The menkids will, or at least load & unload the dishwasher!
Woo Hoo!
Portia, I remember your Christmas posts from year’s past and I appreciate your sentiment so much. I think you have the biggest heart in the perfume community-and that’s saying something, cause perfume people are fantastic 😉
We had a year where there was something kinds awful every five weeks. Started with a funeral and is bookended by another funeral this weekend. I bought beautiful Christmas cards to send-but the post office is on strike here.
Love your traditions-they sounds so cozy and so achievable! Not sure I’m putting up a tree this year cause I have a new kitten. She’s 5 months old and her name is Pounce. The name is apt 🙂
Ok-to keep this on a fragranced note I’m in De Los Santos, which is gorgeous and spiritual. I’m working outside a lot today and it’s unseasonably warm and raining. Hope everyone has some moments of peace during the holidays. Thanks again for this particular post, Portia-you’re amazing.
Thanks Carole,
Woo Hoo for POUNCE! What a perfect name for a cat. Jin is desperate to have a cat but it’s hard with greyhounds. Even our rickety old pair get VERY excited when we see on in the wilds.
We also haven’t done the tree yet but the Christmas Cards are hanging like bunting and look very festive.
Portia xx
Portia, your post is so important. Holidays are very difficult for many people. Thank you for sharing the support information.
I enjoyed reading about your celebration, even though I don’t celebrate Christmas.
Hey JillS,
Yeah, we have watched many of our friends spiral over the holiday period. I try to keep in touch with as many as possible, especially the solo players.
Portia x
Lovely post. It’s ironic how necessary it is to put these things out there (the helpful things) regarding what in theory is supposed to be a celebratory and joyous time. Our holiday meal has become less iconic over the years and more ‘oh, this is what we love eating’. New Year’s Eve is going to be Indian food — and comforting the dog during the fireworks. I’m hoping my holiday narcissus will be blooming by the 25th.
WOO HOO! Indian for Xmas eve sounds fabulous Cinnamon.
Fingers crossed for the flowering.
Portia xx
I really appreciate your Christmas posts especially. It’s a trying time of the year for so many people and in so many ways. It’s hard if you have family. And for the two of us, it’s hard when you don’t. (And you live in the middle of nowhere…). Christmas is less fraught with the commercial aspects these days and decidedly more peaceful but duller. We are going to a work party this year, and then it’s back to the cats, dogs, and home. I’m having a foot surgery on Christmas eve and will be chillin’ with the painkillers and nog on Christmas day. I do plan on wearing something stinky and wonderful, definitely oud-spice something like Oud Picante maybe. And I plan on eating some fruitcake–some heavily-bathed-in-alcohol-for-three weeks fruitcake. There. I admitted it. I love fruitcakes–all of them. So there’s that to look forward to!
Thanks Shiva-woman,
O M G! I love Fruit Cake too and Mince Pies. YUM!
Portia xx
Hot brandy custard! Details please!
ElizaC, you are going to be so let down. I buy custard at the supermarket and as it warms in the pan I add brandy to taste and a tiny pinch of pepper for zing.
So simple.
Portia xx