Hi Posse, Tonight I’m wearing SJP Stash Unspoken. It’s one of my go-to lighthearted joy rides. The black dog has been circling and I wanted to divert it. Then I started thinking about the things I do to ward off depression. Then I thought maybe you all might like to know them. My mind even threw me a title: Portia’s Low Key Depression Hacks. So on those days when I’m feeling like an archaic anachronism typing out my heart and soul with one finger to a vast and vastly uncaring universe, here are a few little things I do to ease that feeling of empty hopelessness.
These are not new or even my ideas for Depression Hacks. This is a list of some things that I’ve found effective in combating the early signs of my downward spiral over decades of surviving depression. They are not intended to replace medicines or mental health experts advice. Just a few things in my arsenal to ward off the chasm.
If you are suffering here’s a World Help Lines Directory: Find A Helpline. Go on, make someone who has given up their free time feel valuable and needed. Your call may be the one thing they can be happy and fulfilled about having done today.
One thing I’ve learned is that depression is a roller coaster and it’s part of my life. If I can catch it early and redirect my brain mostly it doesn’t spiral out of control.
Portia’s Low Key Depression Hacks
- Brush my teeth, the full job. Floss, mouthwash and brushing.
- Get dressed into leave the house clothes and take a walk. With dogs or without. The rhythm of my feet moving, my elevated heart rate and a little of whatever weather there is can profoundly lighten my mood.
- Get a little sunshine on my face. I can even do it from the north facing living room balcony.
- Empty all the bins in the apartment and throw it all in the big garage bin.
- Spritz perfume. A new one is best because the ride is unexpected. Go lie down and float away on the fragrance. Always best to set an alarm so you don’t sleep right through.
- Make a sandwich. Eat it. I have two favourites but almost anything will do. Onion and tomato with heavy butter, salt and pepper. Sliced ham and salad with butter, hot English mustard and mayonnaise. There’s something so positive about feeding myself healthy.
- Text or call a friend. Don’t even talk about you, ask them about their day. Listen.
- Go through a drawer and pick a couple of things for the goodwill store. Drop them there.
- Plan an adventure. Doesn’t have to be expensive, far or important. It just has to be outside your normal parameters and safe.
- I really love to watch a train go over a bridge. Big, small, urban or countryside. It’s not even the stupid train going over a bridge that brings me the joy really. It’s me laughing at how stupid a thing brings me such a sparkling rush of joy. Find the everyday, simple thing that brings you a pop of levity.
Tell us all some things that help you wipe away the blues?
Portia xx
What a great idea! Unlike most people who get the blues in winter, I really loathe late summer with all its daily thunderstorms, power outages, and migraines. So this is timely.
1. Put on the radio, Spotify, or a CD of music I love and listen. Even better: sing along.
2. Do something productive like load/unload the dishwasher, fold some laundry, vacuum a room, throw away junk mail while listening to the music.
3. Escape reality and enter the pages of a book.
4. When all else fails, take a nap. I even had a T-shirt with this saying at one time.
5. Praying for others, being part of a faith community. It makes me aware, for instance, of a lady I know who is going through cancer for the fourth time. Makes my ennui seem very small potatoes and perks me right up. I have a lot of blessings to be thankful for.
We lost our dog in 2020, life hasn’t worked out to adopt another one but I miss him for the way he kept me away from the blues. That walk (even a short one, stopping every foot to sniff something) was a sure way to get out of my own head. A spritz of a joyful perfume never hurt, either.
#7 is not common the way you presented it, but it’s brilliant! And you don’t write into a void. I read almost every single post you share, but rarely comment because I subscribed to hear your voice, not mine. I’m not being cheeky. You’re just more interesting most days. : D I even love it when other bloggers mention you. Thanks for being one of the few bloggers I subscribe to!
Christina!
Thank you, beautiful human.
You are balm for my soul, even just seeing you on the socials makes me smile.
HUG
Portia xx
Portia, thank you so much for bringing up this topic. I enjoyed your ideas. The thing that throws me is that it can come out of nowhere. I take meds, and I do best sticking to an exercise routine, releasing endorphins, but lately I have had to cut back due to cataract surgery (and wanting to avoid catching Covid before the other eye is done). It’s too hot and humid to walk outside and I’m really missing those endorphins. William Styron referred to depression as “ the narrows” and visualizing this and knowing it will pass and things will open up is helpful. Being compassionate to oneself is very helpful. As everyone has said, a change of scene or phone call to find out how others are doing helps. I’d love to know what scents people use to lift their spirits. I use citrus a lot but the air is so heavy right now I din’t think it will help much. Some things that help like knitting and reading are hard right now bc one eye is corrected and one is not yet.
Reading your blog cheers me.
Eau d’Hadrien by Goutal is so famous because I think it truly lifts the spirits, and anything with neroli because it chemically does brighten our outlook. A lot of the Henry Rose perfumes have a good vibe. Queens & Monsters from that line has neroli. Vetiver is definitely calming and is an oil I’ve seen essential oil enthusiasts mention even supported mental health, hence Chanel’s Cristalle has been a go to on down days and it contains vetiver. Burberry Goddess, Mon Guerlain, and others have calming lavender, and I believe the gourmand joy often comes from vanilla and sweet culinary memories of cookies someone made for us or that we made ourselves. Finally, Chanel’s Paris-Paris, which I first bought in Paris, brings me utter delight. Is it the travel connection or the citrus and rose? Perhaps it’s both. Do any of you enjoy these fragrances or similar?
Thank you for the wonderful suggestions, Christina! I used to wear Eau d’Hadrien in the late 90’s. Neroli and Vetiver are not notes I have thought of. Thank you. I have worn lavender. I love Cristalle and did like Paris-Paris. I will look into these wonderful suggestions.
Hey there JillS,
Yes, depression is a blind sider. Like turning a corner and suddenly…
BUGGER that you are off the exercise roll. Can do do any in your home? Ji has found a couple of Apps that he uses for stretching and movement when he can’t swim of work out.
The narrows describes depression beautifully. May yours always open up sooner than later.
Good luck with the second eye.
Portia xx
Thank you, Portia!
Oh Portia! How timely is your post today. Bless you for talking about a subject that has so much unnecessary stigma attached to it. It needs airing out and being in the light.
I have suffered with long, arduous bouts of depression since I was a kid. I have a very early memory of hiding behind the sofa and crying on and off for hours, and when I was found, not being able to articulate what was wrong.
One thing that works for me, odd or silly as it sounds, is this. When I am plagued with the “Black Dog” descending on me, I say aloud, like a mantra, “I am not my thoughts. I am not my feelings.” It isn’t magic but it helps me see that I, as an individual, can get some space from what is going on in my mind, rather than drown in it. As I say the “mantra,” imagining myself sitting in a chair and looking across the room at the thoughts and feelings as separate entities, sort of like pesky guests, strengthens the effect.
Listening to music helps a lot. A real favorite is Mozart’s Serenade No 10 for Winds ‘Gran Partita’, III. Adagio, performed by the London Symphony Orchestra. Bob Dylan’s “Sara” is another gem. 80s music also gives me a big lift.
Going through the ritual of making a pot of tea, picking a favorite cup and saucer then sitting in a comfortable place and doing my darndest to smell the tea, sip slowly and be in the moment.
Petting or brushing one of my cats. Imagining how it would feel to be the cat getting brushed.
Cleaning a few pieces of silver jewelry, then putting one or two on to admire and feeling like I accomplished something.
Taking a “conscious” shower, as in tuning in on the feeling of the cascading warm water, the smells of the products I’m using, the kindness being shown to my body- that wonderful, hard working vehicle which allows me to function.
Calling 988. In the U.S., it’s the suicide, anxiety and depression talk line. One does not need to be in crisis to call. Volunteers will listen, chat and can offer resources if necessary.
Realizing I am not alone in feeling depressed. Picturing people all over the planet who are feeling the same way and sending them (and myself) love and compassion.
All the above is about being present. Depression takes me away from being in the moment and puts me somewhere awful, like being thrown into a dungeon.
Right now, things are really vile and bad in my life. Reading your post and being able to write about what makes me feel briefly better has been like an iridescent hummingbird visiting for a few moments.
Thank you for being YOU, Portia. You are very much loved.
MzCrz,
Depression is a big burden. Having all these simple, sensible hacks to keep you going is brilliant, and essential.
I particularly love the cleaning then wearing jewellery and am going to add it to my list of mood menders.
Sorry to read “things are really bad and vile” in your life. The Posse is here for you. Drop in, there’s usually someone around.
So glad to be your hummingbird today.
Hugs and hugs,
Portia xxx
I agree that Portia is so loved! Your tip about the mantra and not being your feelings I am going to use. When my first psychology professor said everyone gets depressed, I was floored! And relieved. Life gets overwhelming. And then for some, it’s a more consistent struggle. Another thing you said about being present was golden. A book my a psychologist friend of mine, Alexandra Domelle, said in any moment, we are mostly at peace. Even in the loss of a loved one, the moment of actual loss (hearing of their passing) is so minute. It’s the moments we hear of their passing. The rest of the day consists of thousands of things unrelated to that death. In the moments, we have peace. In most moments, if we stop and look at the objects around us and get grounded in the actual moment, we are often at that precise time not under attack or in a state of loss. I am thankful for the beautiful shares today.
It’s been a long time since having a mild depressive period, but I have had a period of grief after three difficult losses. I read somewehere, don’t remember where, a simple counsel given by someone who suffered several unimaginable losses. I think she received it from someone else. Start each day telling yourself: it is going to be a great day. She kept doing it and it pulled her through. It has and is working for me, good days and bad ones, doesn’t matter. I also count my blessings often, it feels like ‘money in the bank’.
So sorry to read you’ve hit three losses Hamamelis,
It IS going to be a great day.
Blessings are money in the bank, your psychological bank. Once you start seeing blessings more appear.
Truth.
HUG
Portia xx
Gratitude grounds me too. Useful ideas! In 2012, I lost both grandmothers, my pastor (a very close friend who was just in his early 50s), my great aunt, and my father. By the end of the year, I was numb. I couldn’t pull out of that depression. 6 months later I was crying and people told me it was enough already. Well, I wasn’t making mental health progress. That is true. So I started volunteering my time and money to support a local homeless group of people. Not dropping stuff off, but spending weekends and days each week talking with them, learning their needs, and just being a listening ear. That broke the magic spell, so to speak, and I began to heal. The people I was helping had such massive sets of problems and I was blessed, just grieving. It helped put my life in perspective.
Thanks for this post, Portia. The more we talk about mental health, the better.
Like Tom, I don’t think what I’ve experienced would be called depression. I have, at various times, had major issues with anxiety.
I would say a couple things helped me through episodes. First, always say out loud how you’re feeling to someone. Do not suffer on your own.
Second, movement can help. Walk, swim, garden, go to a yoga or dance class.
I know several people who took medication for anxiety or depression and it helped a lot. And, which is important, when they felt ready they stopped taking it slowly, in a measured way, and they still feel ok. But, they all know it’s there if they need it.
Finally, please know we’re all rooting for you.
Cinnamon,
Sharing the experience is such a good idea. It gets the feelings out there, you connect with another human, going to meet them also means you’ve changed surrounds. Such a good one.
Thank you.
Portia xx
Cinnamon, I subscribe to you too, and thanks are also in order. ; ) You and Portia, and obviously these caring souls here, are generously hearted people. Yes, we love perfume, but when I see your hearts on the page, that is what endures. Thank you both!
I don’t think I get real depression but when I find myself getting in a mood I will go for a walk. Sometimes take the bus to a different neighborhood and walk around there. Look at other peoples houses, wander through the shops (even if it’s just a chain drug store) and stop for a snack. Go to a museum. Some of them are free (like the Getty here) so it’s just the price of a bus ride. Go sit in a park and read a book. Go window shopping at the most expensive stores in your area and congratulate yourself that you aren’t foolish enough to try to wear this silliness and wouldn’t even if you had the money. Have a small scoop of really good gelato. Eat it slowly with that silly little spoon and really taste every morsel. I like to drive to I’ll sometimes just get up in the AM and go nowhere in particular. Just enjoying the feeling of controlling the car, shifting through the gears, accelerating out of the curves. Sometimes I just get sick of everything and have to do these things to hit my “reset” button..
Tom, I love these. Museums and art galleries are always good to take me somewhere else. Even the journey there is often enough.
Driving is such a pleasure, mine is a stick too. Really feel like you’re driving. HEAVEN.
Portia xx
That’s perfect grounding, Tom!