5 Dumb Things

so.  I Got Nothin’. I had a couple of things I wanted to yark with you about – but the chilly, wet weather has put paid to any critical thinking whatsoever.  It’s pitch-black at 6:45p and about 38F here – and in the Midwest that could be May – but It Ain’t May!  It’s November, which means there’s 38F… and then there’s THIRTY EIGHT F!  which is when you have that brutal Westerly wind and 89% humidity that allows the cold to wriggle its way into every crack and crevice of your home/office/clothes/skin/skeleton/soul… with a viciousness unparalleled in modern history.

Okay.  Maybe that’s a bit dramatic – but it’s getting cold. and to top it off, the sun has started that Nuclear Winter feel, where it’s lighting up… something? but it sho’ ain’t here.  Anyhoo – that sort of scenario just paralyzes me.. and I think I mean that almost literally, like… I can be halfway to a comfortable sitting position in my desk chair.. and I just .. freeze.  It’s weird, as if I’m fighting off incipient torpor (a survival state which fascinates me because I often wonder if we humans haven’t done ourselves a disservice by fighting it off with technology et al – but that could just be me because all I want to do is crawl into bed and sleeeeep until it warms up again)…..

…and that won’t do, since I still have to work and get out of the chair when I have to pee, y’know?  So to keep myself moving  I look to do Five Dumb Things.  Now, 5 Dumb Things sounds persackly like what it is:  stuff you have left undone because the thing is… dumb?  Or you just don’t want to do them.  But!  I’ve found that doing stuff like that really gives me a sense of accomplishment and breaks the torpor logjam.  Today was particularly brutal so I picked the silliest things I could:

1. Took a box of perfumes off my desk and into the Messy Armoire.  Oh, the humanity! – but honestly, it was a bit of a challenge, especially as I could barely sit up straight in my ergonomic chair, remember?  And it’s not even that cold, yet.  Imagine this in February!
2. Changing the loo roll (seriously – it’s right there in the drawer next to the toilet.  How hard can that be?)
3. Rinsed out the coffeepot (that took 3 tries.  First 2, I just stood there and looked at it like it was an alien species.  In. My. Own. Kitchen.)
4. Opened 3 pieces of mail.
5. Hung up my coat.

Those are the dumbest, silliest acts I could undertake – and yet, they were all I could do!  But you know what?  Doing them gave me such a sense of ‘oh, get OVER yourself’ that I was able to do a few other things as well!

Interestingly, though, exercise is never off that menu.  I’m back to working out 6x week and it feels amazing!  The endorphin high is enough to make it be the first thing I do after I get up (after I pee, of course.  Hey, peeing is ESSENTIAL!!  😉 and it’s a pleasure to remember what an endorphin junkie I am.  Hoo-rah!   I keep this photo of my tactical idol, the ridiculously gorgeous, outrageously skilled Rudy Reyes, on my phone as motivation (not a fan of the AR but he was a recon scout sniper so… hey!  here’s a factoid I just learned from Eric Hung @ Pew Pew Tactical  (my favorite tactical site): the ‘AR’ stands for Armalite (original mfrs) and not ‘Assault Rifle’.  Fab little piece of intel, thanks Eric!) I used to ask myself ‘WWRD’ – then I realized that when I was feeling lazy I couldn’t give a damb what Rudy would do, so I amended it to ‘WYTYCOIFOR?’ (would you take your clothes off in front of Rudy?).  If the answer is ‘no’ (or, in my case, HELL NO!), then get your ass down on the mat!  He’s got me planking like a lima bean – and I don’t hate it!

photo: 5.11tactical.com. My people.

And, luckily for me, it’s always ‘get down on the mat’.  Bless you, Rudy (and don’t worry, babykins, – I’ll always be at ‘HELL, NO! Too far above my paygrade, darlin’)!  I’m starting to feel like my real self again, like maybe I might still have an edge beyond my beloved edge weapons…  (btw – shameless plug, here:  if you want to HOWL! take a minute to check out some 5.11.com spots (Rudy is wearing their t-shirt) they’re all over teh ‘tube;  I dunno how they managed to do it but the spots are a perfect blend of Warrior Fetish and Warrior Fetish Snark (the online shopping one, with the guy on the……. well, just watch the ads and screech! And there’s a goofy one about tactical kilts.  KILTS!  Slaying it!!!)

Online Shopping at 511tactical.com – YouTube

So.  Why am I telling you all this?  because I’ll bet you anything I am not the only dawg in this disco.  And because so many of us are still isolated right now, we can’t feed off the energy of other people.  So we have to figure it out.  And for me, when it gets really ugly and cold and mean and hard… Five Dumb Things (the sillier the better) seems to do the trick. And Rudy, makind me plank to oblivion and tighter abs.

What about you?  What does it take to break your torpor?  Are you in that place, yet?  It got windy and cold here pretty quickly but at least we don’t have a blizzard like the one we had on Hallowe’en when El O pulled himself and his trailer out of my driveway.  I still have that video, LOL!  Good times.  good times.

Anyway, let me know how you manage this season/time.  I’ll have Rudy* launch some ballistics at the rando list and pull a couple of winners.

*he’s in for TGirl.  He has her full endorsement.