Books with Friends

I’m posting this on the eve of the elections in the U.S., and unless you’ve just arrived on Earth you probably know all about it. There are A Lot of Feelings. Tensions are high. I’m not betting we’ll know the outcome right away, and I have no idea how messy things will get. I’m fortifying myself with books to get me through.

I’ve been reading books to remove me from my immediate realities since … well, since I learned to read and to use the library. If you ever visit and there’s no bookmarked stack of books in my bedroom or living room, call the sheriff. I like to read multiple books at once – are you one of those people? Or are you one book at a time, start to finish? Folks mostly seem to be one or the other. My current rotation: Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil; Iris Murdoch’s The Sea, the Sea; Light Years by James Salter; Amor Towles’ Table for Two; Jean Rhys’ Wide Sargasso Sea; Evan Connell’s Mrs. Bridge. (To be fair, some are being read more diligently than others.)

Thirty years ago, when I had two young kids and was desperate for adult conversation, a small group of us here started a book club, and we invited friends. Except for a break during COVID, that book club is still going. Two of us moved away, then moved back and rejoined. My housemate Carolyn is the newest member; others have come and gone. We are serious about our books in the best sense – everyone reads them, all book suggestions are considered, we’ve had lively discussions and disagreements. Over the decades we have also shared some profound joys and some terrible sorrows. I don’t think I have words to adequately express how much this group of women has meant to me. We take turns hosting and we also love to eat, so our monthly meetings start with some amazing potluck food and chit-chat, news sharing and hand-holding as needed.

I swap book recommendations (and sometimes the actual books) with old and new friends. And Carolyn and I are frequently sitting together in the living room in the evenings (her on the sofa, me in my chair) with our noses in books. As the child of bookish parents, growing up in a house jam-packed with books, I suppose this is a natural outcome. My parents and that house are long gone, but libraries and bookstores are second homes, places of refuge and quiet while traveling (and public libraries are free to enter and have nice restrooms, which has come in handy a number of times!)

Are books a constant in your life? Do you turn to them for knowledge, escapism, when you’re sad, or if the weather or illness keeps you indoors?  What have you read recently that you loved? Do you do books with friends?

images via Pexels

  • SpringPansy says:

    Yes, always books. I grew up in a very small town, lots of farms and orchards. Books opened up the world for me. My most favorite job to this day was working in our small town library while I was in high school. I’m one of the always-have-several-going team. Currently: Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood; The Wager; All the Light We Cannot See and Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat.

    Just books by myself so far. Your book club sounds wonderful. I wonder if I could find one like that.

  • Musette says:

    You’ve been in my house… you know my love affair with books.
    El O used to REALLY HATE when we’d drive to some ridiculously rural place (which is where ethanol and petrochemical plants tend to be) and I would find some fabulous/charming library – and I would MAKE HIM STOP! so I could visit.

    Cranky Contractor once refused to work in a space until I cleared it of the towering stack of books therein. To Be Fair: he’s knocked off more than one stack of books in this house – and that was the last straw.

    I read multiple books – right now I’m immersed in a pretty good mystery (that is probably going to turn romantic but whatev) about this woman artist who is helping some aristocrat clear his name – but she is fascinated by the planes of his face so is asking for him to sit for her in return for her help. I couldn’t care less who the villain is – I just want to know how the drawings turn out.

  • alityke says:

    Yep I’m a reader. Reading (and writing) were part of my job when I worked in clinical research. I miss the writing.
    I still read medical & nursing research papers that catch my curiosity but my main reading now is for pleasure.
    Reading fragrance writing is a given but my ultimate reading happiness is finding a mystery author & if their first book captures my imagination I binge read everything they have written.
    So many books, so little time!

  • cinnamon says:

    Oh, yes. For almost 40 years I read for a living (financial editor) — but I still read for relaxation etc. I tend to have one book on the go at a time, but sometimes have one paper one and one on the iPad just for a change of pace. Oh, and sometimes a novel of some sort plus a food-related book (if you’ve never read Nigel Slater’s diaries you’re missing a treat). Can’t imagine life without reading.

    • March says:

      I bought a Nigel Slater book on your recommendation! Can’t remember the title but I very much enjoyed it.

      • SpringPansy says:

        Yes, I also bought a Nigel Slater after reading Cinnamon’s recommendation. The Kitchen Diaries – A Year in the Kitchen with Nigel Slater. It should have been listed in my “currently reading” list above. I love his very seasonal approach to cooking.

  • Dina C. says:

    I love to read. It’s an escape, an entertainment, and sometimes educational. I love mysteries. The Marlow Mystery Club series is great recent read. PBS recently adapted the first book. It features 3 women who live in the same village who band together to solve mysteries: a dog walker, a crossword puzzle maker, and a pastor’s wife. Author is Robert Thorogood.

    • March says:

      Now that sounds right up my alley — I’ve written the name down so I can go look for it. Fingers crossed they have the series at the library, otherwise it’s off to Thriftbooks etc.

  • Kathleen says:

    I have always enjoyed books as well. I don’t read as many these days due to reading an enormous amount for work and my brain is tired after work; however, when I have time I love relaxing with a book. I generally read one at a time. Recently read The Housemaid and the 2nd book Housemaid’s Secret, now reading The Snow Child.

    • March says:

      Oh, The Housemaid looks like a hoot! Just put my name on the waitlist at the library. And I loved The Snow Child, I read it last winter. A good cold-weather book.

  • Maya says:

    I’ve always loved to read. I usually read one book at a time. Sometimes two but not very often. I read in spurts. I read everything I can get my hands on for a while and then just stop or drastically slow down for a while. It works for me.

    • March says:

      I’ve definitely gone through stretches where I’m reading not much besides online/magazines. I do tend to read more in the winter, unsurprisingly.

  • Pam says:

    Yes, I have a house full of books and usually am reading more than one at any given time. More books than kindle, but both. Right now reading one about horses and how they changed human history as well as a Simenon.

    • Maya says:

      Georges Simenon was a marvelous writer! He wrote 84 detective Jules Maigret novels (plus literally hundreds of others). He intentionally wrote them as short as possible “so people could read them in one sitting” if they wanted to. I found and was able to download them all to my tablet – read them all and wanted more.

    • March says:

      That sounds so interesting! I love nonfiction books that educate me about something I know absolutely nothing about.

  • Tom says:

    I love books and have to stop myself from getting too many. If I had lotto winnings I think I’d be backing a U-Haul up to Powells and going hog wild. And yes, I read multiples; I have them all over the house, my office, and on kindle on my phone and iPad.

    • March says:

      Ha! Another reader of multiples! I like a hard copy, preferably free from the library, but they often have things available immediately on digital media for when there’s a book emergency.

      • Tom says:

        I love hard copies and have tons of them and used to be a total snob about the Kindle thing but then someone gave me an iPad mini for my birthday and I was off to the races. Much easier with something like the compendium of the EF Benson Lucia books, which in hardcover weighs a ton.

  • Cyndi says:

    Books are definitely a big part of my life. I have always been a reader and enjoy libraries and bookstores as much, or more, than my perfume hobby. I even have my bachelor’s degree in English. I can honestly say books have helped get me through some really tough times, and I have found that losing myself in a book is more therapeutic than anything else I have tried. I have joined a book club, which broke up during the pandemic, but my alma mater has an online book group for alumni, so I can discuss books with them if I choose

    • March says:

      Yep — “losing myself in a book” has gotten me through some tough times as well. I also like that I can take a book along if I’m in a situation where I’ll be waiting and want some distraction, e.g., the doctor’s office.