Hi Posse, Tonight I’m wearing SJP Stash Unspoken. It’s one of my go-to lighthearted joy rides. The black dog has been circling and I wanted to divert it. Then I started thinking about the things I do to ward off depression. Then I thought maybe you all might like to know them. My mind even threw me a title: Portia’s Low Key Depression Hacks. So on those days when I’m feeling like an archaic anachronism typing out my heart and soul with one finger to a vast and vastly uncaring universe, here are a few little things I do to ease that feeling of empty hopelessness.
These are not new or even my ideas for Depression Hacks. This is a list of some things that I’ve found effective in combating the early signs of my downward spiral over decades of surviving depression. They are not intended to replace medicines or mental health experts advice. Just a few things in my arsenal to ward off the chasm.
If you are suffering here’s a World Help Lines Directory: Find A Helpline. Go on, make someone who has given up their free time feel valuable and needed. Your call may be the one thing they can be happy and fulfilled about having done today.
One thing I’ve learned is that depression is a roller coaster and it’s part of my life. If I can catch it early and redirect my brain mostly it doesn’t spiral out of control.
Portia’s Low Key Depression Hacks
- Brush my teeth, the full job. Floss, mouthwash and brushing.
- Get dressed into leave the house clothes and take a walk. With dogs or without. The rhythm of my feet moving, my elevated heart rate and a little of whatever weather there is can profoundly lighten my mood.
- Get a little sunshine on my face. I can even do it from the north facing living room balcony.
- Empty all the bins in the apartment and throw it all in the big garage bin.
- Spritz perfume. A new one is best because the ride is unexpected. Go lie down and float away on the fragrance. Always best to set an alarm so you don’t sleep right through.
- Make a sandwich. Eat it. I have two favourites but almost anything will do. Onion and tomato with heavy butter, salt and pepper. Sliced ham and salad with butter, hot English mustard and mayonnaise. There’s something so positive about feeding myself healthy.
- Text or call a friend. Don’t even talk about you, ask them about their day. Listen.
- Go through a drawer and pick a couple of things for the goodwill store. Drop them there.
- Plan an adventure. Doesn’t have to be expensive, far or important. It just has to be outside your normal parameters and safe.
- I really love to watch a train go over a bridge. Big, small, urban or countryside. It’s not even the stupid train going over a bridge that brings me the joy really. It’s me laughing at how stupid a thing brings me such a sparkling rush of joy. Find the everyday, simple thing that brings you a pop of levity.
Tell us all some things that help you wipe away the blues?
Portia xx
Hi all. Firstly thank you Portia for speaking about mental illness. It has taken me days to feel up to replying.
Another depression sufferer here. Started 30 years ago with my first adult episode of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome & reactive arthritis. I’ve had many more episodes since then & now add fibromyalgia into the mix. I take amitriptylline & have for over a decade. Not for the depression but because it’s effective for chronic pain, improves sleep, therefore the fibromyalgia & my energy levels. It does hold the engulfing blackness at bay too.
I practice mindfulness, box breathing techniques, dog cuddles & at my husband’s suggestion, allowing myself a set time for worrying the shelve the worrying until the worry time set aside the next day. It works! It taught me how to put my worrying out of mind.
Watching sports, ideally in person helps me too. Communal activities even joining in chants at football, doing the tennis head turn or getting involved with a cricket crowd is uplifting.
I avoid alcohol as my hangovers were of epic proportions!
I don’t wear perfume when low either. Making a link between a perfume & depression would ruin the fragrance for me.
I’m missing Aqua classes at the moment. The current CFS & fibro flare is ongoing. Improving but still not up to Aqua.
May all who need hacks to lighten their darkness find this piece.
Also chillies & hot sauce! Even quite mild gives you an endorphin release. Kimchi, chilli con or non carne, brined jalapeños, pulled pork, sriracha, Tabasco etc. Maybe not Big Dave’s or other million Scoville scale bangers. All work!
Cheese n kimchi toasted sarnie, even better eggy bread with cheese & kimchi toasted in a pan. Yum!
Hi Alityke,
These are some fabulous hacks. Talking food, I had a friend many years ago who swore by crunchy food. Not crunchy like fried but crunchy like raw veg. I did not know that spicy food gave us an endorphin rush. Good to know.
Sorry to read you’ve been in the pit. Glad that you’re back on track enough to respond and hope you put it all in the background for a good stretch very soon.
I love the idea of a worrying time. Where you can just indulge in ALL THE STRESSES. Clever.
Thanks for sharing your story. Every one of us that does shines light on the problems and also gives others community.
HUG
Portia xx
Yes on crunchy food too! Both the prep & eating take time & concentration. Crudités & a pot of chilli hummus is a great lunch & you get an endorphin kick too.
I’m going to be preserving jalapeños today using a non- touch technique
WOW! You do cool stuff.
Thank you X
It takes such courage to speak candidly about mental health struggles – thank you, Portia, for opening up about this! Ive been fortunate not to experience depression though in recent times it’s been hard not to feel a sort of existential mix of dread and grief at the state of the world. When thoughts turn dark, I have found it helpful to focus on the beauty in this world and to try to create beauty as a way of passing the feeling on – in my case, this is going back to my roots and doing some Ukrainian embroidery. Of course good old fashioned distraction helps, too – the full roster of Bravo reality shows aka every franchise of Real Housewives and its various offshoots!
WOW Anna,
Ukrainian embroidery! That’s a skill and a half. I bet it takes every ounce of concentration and leaves little space for brooding.
Sadly, those shows exacerbate my blues but I’m super glad they help you.
HUG
Portia xx
Portia! I love reading your posts because I feel like you’re talking to me. Personally. And that if I met you in person, I’d already know you. I’m not explaining that very well, which is why I don’t always comment on here. Some of the Posse are so good at expressing themselves, and I’m not. But I’m here hoping you feel the love and good thoughts I’m sending.
Pam!
Should we be lucky enough to meet IRL you’ll probably spend quite a lot of time eye rolling at my execrable sense of humor that basically stunted at 11 years old.
Other than that I hope we would be friends and enjoy our shared love of fragrance.
No one is judging your comments or how well you express yourself. That you comment is amazing and we all are very grateful for any and all involvement in the Posse.
HUG
Portia xx
What Portia Said xoxo
Thank you, Portia, for your honesty and good advice. I live with severe chronic pain and always will. This has been a bad year for surgeries and complications, and it’s way too easy to slide into self pity – which is quite separate from depression. I find that scents, nice soaps and warm showers, and new makeup help in the moment. Longer term solutions are practicing gratitude and volunteering as much as I’m able. I love this group – such amazing people who bring much joy into my life.
Hiya Maggiecat, chronic pain is hell. Not me but a few around me have back or shoulder pain that makes even the nicest and funnest things a trial. So I know how much it takes to get that first step towards anything that helps reduce the associated sadnesses.
We are here for you. There’s always someone around the scentbloggosphere who’s ready for a chat.
What sort of volunteering do you do?
HUG
Portia xxx
Late reply, sorry! One of my favorite ways to volunteer is to serve as a Stephen Minister at my church. That’s someone who, after considerable training and continuing education “walks alongside” someone who is going through tough times – divorce, for example, or the loss of a loved one, or sudden unemployment illness, etc. You work with one person at a time, meeting once a week, and mostly just listening. Not advising, not judging, just listening and asking the occasional question. It doesn’t sound like much, but how often do people really listen? It saves lives.And reminds me that there are people worse off than I am!
I also teach a women’s Bible class and am part of a podcast team. Retirement isn’t as relaxing as I thought it would be, but that’s a good thing!
WOW! You are so generous with your time MaggieCat. What a beautiful and important way to spend your retirement.
Thank you for your kind words! But truly, I receive so much more than I give.
What a wonderful post, made even better by everyone’s thoughtful and heartfelt comments. Be kind and loving to yourselves, you’re all aces (and you smell amazing too!)
Hi Tara+Mc,
Yeah, I’m picking up and being reminded of some really good mood rectifiers. Can’t have too many tools to help live a steady life.
Portia xx
Portia, thank you for opening up your heart to us! These are all very effective hacks ( both yours and the Posse). I suffer from low-key anxiety and find that Doing Something helps, largely because sitting still AIN’T happening. 1a? I do chores. 1p? I get out of the house/town . I’m always showered and dressed every day because it staves off the stress. Yoga/ gym.
Rinse and repeat.
I also try to do at least one decent thing for someone else, as I am so grateful for the decency shown to me.
You’re a superstar Musette and I love you.
CHORES! Getting one done is a huge endorphin rush on days when the black dog bites.
Portia x
Portia, one of the many many reasons I love your writing is this : you’re so honest, and so thoughtful, and so caring. Every Christmas you post resources for people in case the holidays are not happy times. It shows how much you care about people. I admire you so much.
Depression and anxiety are known to me. Sometimes it’s a result of overwork, and I know I have to taper that off to feel better. I love so many of the suggestions above. I’ll add: try to eat healthily, whatever that means for you. Try to get a shower when you get up-or at least get clean once a day. I find yoga and meditation and pranayama
(controlled breathing) helpful. And if a person feels like they’re a danger to themselves please get to a dr or counsellor ASAP. You matter-every single person matters.
Take care, and thank you for being you-we appreciate you so much.
Hey Carole,
Sharing the burden, reminding people there are some things to help prevent a full landslide etc is a really good way for me to do something positive to reduce the plummet. So it’s also kinda selfish.
OH YES! Eating healthy is SUCH a good point. I often head for the cookie jar when a carrot would serve hunger and self worth infinitely better. We do try to keep hummus in the fridge so a carrot looks more inviting. It’s a 50/50 win loss scale.
Always good to see your name pop up in the comments Carole,
HUG
Portia xx
Oh, love. It’s the middle of winter for you, correct? Is it seasonal? Anyway, I am also visited by the black dog. I found an old list I’d stuck to the fridge that went something like: get dressed, brush teeth, take a walk. Your list is excellent. I’m old enough now that a (possibly obvious but not to me) thing I do while in the depths is to remind myself: I have been here before. It will pass. This sad time will seem surreal when I look back on it. Then: just keep going, one step/day at a time. Hugs to you.
Heya March,
Funnily, winter is a season I love.
Depression just knocks when it gets the spirit and kicks me around a bit. Usually short, sharp, agonising bursts. Then it disappears like a puff of smoke. Usually I can tell the warnings signs and can head it off.
It does seem surreal afterwards. I can’t even remember the feeling until the early stages become apparent and then it’s all too real.
HUG
Portia xx
What a great idea! Unlike most people who get the blues in winter, I really loathe late summer with all its daily thunderstorms, power outages, and migraines. So this is timely.
1. Put on the radio, Spotify, or a CD of music I love and listen. Even better: sing along.
2. Do something productive like load/unload the dishwasher, fold some laundry, vacuum a room, throw away junk mail while listening to the music.
3. Escape reality and enter the pages of a book.
4. When all else fails, take a nap. I even had a T-shirt with this saying at one time.
5. Praying for others, being part of a faith community. It makes me aware, for instance, of a lady I know who is going through cancer for the fourth time. Makes my ennui seem very small potatoes and perks me right up. I have a lot of blessings to be thankful for.
Hey DinaC,
A singsong is so therapeutic, even though my voice is only good for closed cars and bathrooms. HA! I do love to sing, and sometimes boogie around the house.
Cleaning! Cleaning anything.
These are excellent suggestions and I’m grateful
HUG
Portia xx
We lost our dog in 2020, life hasn’t worked out to adopt another one but I miss him for the way he kept me away from the blues. That walk (even a short one, stopping every foot to sniff something) was a sure way to get out of my own head. A spritz of a joyful perfume never hurt, either.
Oh yeah MMKinPA, having pets is a fabulous anti-depressant. I can seriously tell you that having a dog at a few key moments in my life is why I’m still here to talk about depression.
Portia xx
#7 is not common the way you presented it, but it’s brilliant! And you don’t write into a void. I read almost every single post you share, but rarely comment because I subscribed to hear your voice, not mine. I’m not being cheeky. You’re just more interesting most days. : D I even love it when other bloggers mention you. Thanks for being one of the few bloggers I subscribe to!
Christina!
Thank you, beautiful human.
You are balm for my soul, even just seeing you on the socials makes me smile.
HUG
Portia xx
Portia, thank you so much for bringing up this topic. I enjoyed your ideas. The thing that throws me is that it can come out of nowhere. I take meds, and I do best sticking to an exercise routine, releasing endorphins, but lately I have had to cut back due to cataract surgery (and wanting to avoid catching Covid before the other eye is done). It’s too hot and humid to walk outside and I’m really missing those endorphins. William Styron referred to depression as “ the narrows” and visualizing this and knowing it will pass and things will open up is helpful. Being compassionate to oneself is very helpful. As everyone has said, a change of scene or phone call to find out how others are doing helps. I’d love to know what scents people use to lift their spirits. I use citrus a lot but the air is so heavy right now I din’t think it will help much. Some things that help like knitting and reading are hard right now bc one eye is corrected and one is not yet.
Reading your blog cheers me.
Eau d’Hadrien by Goutal is so famous because I think it truly lifts the spirits, and anything with neroli because it chemically does brighten our outlook. A lot of the Henry Rose perfumes have a good vibe. Queens & Monsters from that line has neroli. Vetiver is definitely calming and is an oil I’ve seen essential oil enthusiasts mention even supported mental health, hence Chanel’s Cristalle has been a go to on down days and it contains vetiver. Burberry Goddess, Mon Guerlain, and others have calming lavender, and I believe the gourmand joy often comes from vanilla and sweet culinary memories of cookies someone made for us or that we made ourselves. Finally, Chanel’s Paris-Paris, which I first bought in Paris, brings me utter delight. Is it the travel connection or the citrus and rose? Perhaps it’s both. Do any of you enjoy these fragrances or similar?
Thank you for the wonderful suggestions, Christina! I used to wear Eau d’Hadrien in the late 90’s. Neroli and Vetiver are not notes I have thought of. Thank you. I have worn lavender. I love Cristalle and did like Paris-Paris. I will look into these wonderful suggestions.
Hey there JillS,
Yes, depression is a blind sider. Like turning a corner and suddenly…
BUGGER that you are off the exercise roll. Can do do any in your home? Ji has found a couple of Apps that he uses for stretching and movement when he can’t swim of work out.
The narrows describes depression beautifully. May yours always open up sooner than later.
Good luck with the second eye.
Portia xx
Thank you, Portia!
2 scents I go to while navigating “the narrows;” Penhalgon’s Castile, which smells like subtle, elegant European bath soap and an oldie, Coty’s Muguet de Bois. The latter is especially cheering sprayed on a clean cotton night dress, right before bed.
Oh Portia! How timely is your post today. Bless you for talking about a subject that has so much unnecessary stigma attached to it. It needs airing out and being in the light.
I have suffered with long, arduous bouts of depression since I was a kid. I have a very early memory of hiding behind the sofa and crying on and off for hours, and when I was found, not being able to articulate what was wrong.
One thing that works for me, odd or silly as it sounds, is this. When I am plagued with the “Black Dog” descending on me, I say aloud, like a mantra, “I am not my thoughts. I am not my feelings.” It isn’t magic but it helps me see that I, as an individual, can get some space from what is going on in my mind, rather than drown in it. As I say the “mantra,” imagining myself sitting in a chair and looking across the room at the thoughts and feelings as separate entities, sort of like pesky guests, strengthens the effect.
Listening to music helps a lot. A real favorite is Mozart’s Serenade No 10 for Winds ‘Gran Partita’, III. Adagio, performed by the London Symphony Orchestra. Bob Dylan’s “Sara” is another gem. 80s music also gives me a big lift.
Going through the ritual of making a pot of tea, picking a favorite cup and saucer then sitting in a comfortable place and doing my darndest to smell the tea, sip slowly and be in the moment.
Petting or brushing one of my cats. Imagining how it would feel to be the cat getting brushed.
Cleaning a few pieces of silver jewelry, then putting one or two on to admire and feeling like I accomplished something.
Taking a “conscious” shower, as in tuning in on the feeling of the cascading warm water, the smells of the products I’m using, the kindness being shown to my body- that wonderful, hard working vehicle which allows me to function.
Calling 988. In the U.S., it’s the suicide, anxiety and depression talk line. One does not need to be in crisis to call. Volunteers will listen, chat and can offer resources if necessary.
Realizing I am not alone in feeling depressed. Picturing people all over the planet who are feeling the same way and sending them (and myself) love and compassion.
All the above is about being present. Depression takes me away from being in the moment and puts me somewhere awful, like being thrown into a dungeon.
Right now, things are really vile and bad in my life. Reading your post and being able to write about what makes me feel briefly better has been like an iridescent hummingbird visiting for a few moments.
Thank you for being YOU, Portia. You are very much loved.
MzCrz,
Depression is a big burden. Having all these simple, sensible hacks to keep you going is brilliant, and essential.
I particularly love the cleaning then wearing jewellery and am going to add it to my list of mood menders.
Sorry to read “things are really bad and vile” in your life. The Posse is here for you. Drop in, there’s usually someone around.
So glad to be your hummingbird today.
Hugs and hugs,
Portia xxx
I agree that Portia is so loved! Your tip about the mantra and not being your feelings I am going to use. When my first psychology professor said everyone gets depressed, I was floored! And relieved. Life gets overwhelming. And then for some, it’s a more consistent struggle. Another thing you said about being present was golden. A book my a psychologist friend of mine, Alexandra Domelle, said in any moment, we are mostly at peace. Even in the loss of a loved one, the moment of actual loss (hearing of their passing) is so minute. It’s the moments we hear of their passing. The rest of the day consists of thousands of things unrelated to that death. In the moments, we have peace. In most moments, if we stop and look at the objects around us and get grounded in the actual moment, we are often at that precise time not under attack or in a state of loss. I am thankful for the beautiful shares today.
Christina-I learned in my meditation practice-and in life-all we have is THIS moment, and yes, in this moment we are at peace. The key is to be in the moment. Thanks for your comment.
It’s been a long time since having a mild depressive period, but I have had a period of grief after three difficult losses. I read somewehere, don’t remember where, a simple counsel given by someone who suffered several unimaginable losses. I think she received it from someone else. Start each day telling yourself: it is going to be a great day. She kept doing it and it pulled her through. It has and is working for me, good days and bad ones, doesn’t matter. I also count my blessings often, it feels like ‘money in the bank’.
So sorry to read you’ve hit three losses Hamamelis,
It IS going to be a great day.
Blessings are money in the bank, your psychological bank. Once you start seeing blessings more appear.
Truth.
HUG
Portia xx
Gratitude grounds me too. Useful ideas! In 2012, I lost both grandmothers, my pastor (a very close friend who was just in his early 50s), my great aunt, and my father. By the end of the year, I was numb. I couldn’t pull out of that depression. 6 months later I was crying and people told me it was enough already. Well, I wasn’t making mental health progress. That is true. So I started volunteering my time and money to support a local homeless group of people. Not dropping stuff off, but spending weekends and days each week talking with them, learning their needs, and just being a listening ear. That broke the magic spell, so to speak, and I began to heal. The people I was helping had such massive sets of problems and I was blessed, just grieving. It helped put my life in perspective.
Thanks for this post, Portia. The more we talk about mental health, the better.
Like Tom, I don’t think what I’ve experienced would be called depression. I have, at various times, had major issues with anxiety.
I would say a couple things helped me through episodes. First, always say out loud how you’re feeling to someone. Do not suffer on your own.
Second, movement can help. Walk, swim, garden, go to a yoga or dance class.
I know several people who took medication for anxiety or depression and it helped a lot. And, which is important, when they felt ready they stopped taking it slowly, in a measured way, and they still feel ok. But, they all know it’s there if they need it.
Finally, please know we’re all rooting for you.
Cinnamon,
Sharing the experience is such a good idea. It gets the feelings out there, you connect with another human, going to meet them also means you’ve changed surrounds. Such a good one.
Thank you.
Portia xx
Cinnamon, I subscribe to you too, and thanks are also in order. ; ) You and Portia, and obviously these caring souls here, are generously hearted people. Yes, we love perfume, but when I see your hearts on the page, that is what endures. Thank you both!
I don’t think I get real depression but when I find myself getting in a mood I will go for a walk. Sometimes take the bus to a different neighborhood and walk around there. Look at other peoples houses, wander through the shops (even if it’s just a chain drug store) and stop for a snack. Go to a museum. Some of them are free (like the Getty here) so it’s just the price of a bus ride. Go sit in a park and read a book. Go window shopping at the most expensive stores in your area and congratulate yourself that you aren’t foolish enough to try to wear this silliness and wouldn’t even if you had the money. Have a small scoop of really good gelato. Eat it slowly with that silly little spoon and really taste every morsel. I like to drive to I’ll sometimes just get up in the AM and go nowhere in particular. Just enjoying the feeling of controlling the car, shifting through the gears, accelerating out of the curves. Sometimes I just get sick of everything and have to do these things to hit my “reset” button..
Tom, I love these. Museums and art galleries are always good to take me somewhere else. Even the journey there is often enough.
Driving is such a pleasure, mine is a stick too. Really feel like you’re driving. HEAVEN.
Portia xx
That’s perfect grounding, Tom!
The other thing is to be very kind to yourself and protect yourself from being drained. Make, and keep, time for yourself. Set, and keep, boundaries. If you don’t take care of yourself you can’t take care of others.