Dessert Trash or What Stunk at the Drugstore

simpson-door.jpg Part of the Great Drugstore Challenge was to find the worst. When first my boots hit the ground outside the drugstore, I was fairly certain that I could find a perfume that would be a reasonably good purchase. Finding the worst perfume was bound to be more difficult, there had to be many contenders. In a sea of Musks – pink, green, skin, soft, rat love – this could take some effort to proclaim one the worst.

big_candy.jpgAs I rounded the corner of the locked cabinet, there was a display on the end. So bright, so pretty, so pink!!! What could this confection be? Oh, yes, now I remember that episode of “Newlyweds” where Jessica got sick during the photo shoot of her new beauty products, Dessert. Well, this was going to be sweeeeet, I was sure, but sometimes sweet can be fun. March loves sweet perfumes. The more it smelled like cotton candy or a ding-dong, the closer I was going to come to finding the Perfect Perfume for her. I reached down and picked up the pretty bottle with brightly colored gee-gaws on it, unscrewed the pretty pink lid and took a big sniff…


We have a winner with so very little effort. Worst smelling thing in the drugstore or anywhere perfume has ever been carried is the whole Jessica Simpson Dessert line. This is some seriously nasty potion, with names like Cotton Candy, Butterscotch Toffee, Lollipop, Bubble Gum, Banana Split, Big Candy and the.worst.thing ever…. CUPCAKE.

redboots2.jpg I still want the boots.

  • Katie says:

    I knew those things were stinkers. Only a few months after they came out, my Nordstroms ALREADY had them on the clearance rack. I didn’t even try – that is bad news right there if they’re so bad that even with the newness and the marketing hype in full gear they’re already bombing.

  • marina says:

    Patty, it was a year ago, so …um…28

    *rans away in shame as fast as she can*

    PS KLS is Kimora Lee Simons

  • Patty says:

    I actually think you would die if you had to wear Cupcake all day, you’d likely stab your nostrils out or plug them up just to stop the stench.

    Okay, I’ll do it, and I won’t tell anyone what it is, just that it’s something new, and I need their honest reaction to it before I buy a bottle.

  • Patty says:

    Kimo — er, March — glad you got the “rat love,” I thought I might have been too subtle, which normally is not my strong suit. Yup, just one had it, no, I did not buy a bottle, but I am thinking of doing that and giving it to employees who make me mad.

    Marina, the Cupcake note was a little too frothy in its composition, rendering it nauseating and migraine-inducing. If Cupcake could be used with more subtlety, it could be only slightly less nauseating. How old were you when you owned those prized possessions?

    and what in the world is KLS? Have you two been holding out on me?

  • marchlion says:

    P, okay, okay, you can smell the “winner” I sent you first, and you don’t have to wear it unless you can bear it. I mean, I’d die if I had to wear Jessica’s dessert. I just thought it would be interesting research for you to wear it and ask the opinion of folks who know about your perfume habits — but with no preconceptions that it’s a drugstore buy. Separate from what you think, maybe they’ll think it’s great! I keep pondering running a similar test with MdeM — what would people say if they had no ideas about the goth angle? Will they smell moldy books? Or just go, hey, that smells like Donna Karan or whatever.

  • Marina says:

    Patty, do you dislike Cupcakes in general, or was an especially bad rendition of that “note”, or just an especially bad scent?
    (I remember at one point owning a bottle of Simpsons …ahem…Taste, and a huge decant of Dreamy. :biggrin:)

    March, maybe now will be a good time to review KLS’s olfactory masterpiece? After all, it DOES so smell like a drugstore ‘fume. And there is the worst smell for you right there. Just sayin’. Don’t put a hurt on me. :angel:

  • marchlion says:

    Rat love — hahahahahahahaha! :rotfl:

    And the photo! Really, P, it’s… breathtaking.

    Your drugstore has the Jessica Simpson Dessert line? Hmmmmm, no sign of it here. OMG… did you buy a bottle? You’re going to have to bury it in your back yard. No — what if Buddy digs it up?! Call the Hazmat people now!!! Hey, you send that bottle to me and I will Put…The…Hurt…On…You like Kimora Lee. In her immortal words: “Guuurl, I will BEAT the b—- who sends me some of that nasty s—!”