Six is Four Too Many

I had to take Number Two daughter to the doctor this morning for a sinus infection (what is the problem this year?) In the waiting room I was perusing Ladies’ Home Journal (I think) and there was an article about fragrance: finding your signature scent, EDT versus EDP, etc.

Anyway, they asked, how many fragrances do you have? One or two was okay. Six or more was tooooo many. If you had six or more (and less than 20% of their respondents did), you really needed to edit your perfume wardrobe down to something more manageable.

Huh. Well, I guess I need an intervention.

I keep trying to figure out a way to count them creatively that gets me within striking distance of six. If I eliminate all the testers, the vial samples, decants, bottles I’m planning to get rid of, bottles I keep just to look at, those I have for sentimental reasons, bottles I paid less than $40 for, colognes (which are just, uh, spritzers, not fragrance), gifts, things I use as room spray, and anything manufactured by Guerlain or Annick Goutal, I can get it into the single digits. I think.

  • Dusan says:

    Lady March the Benevolent, indeed thou art the sweetest ruler of my guerlainless heart!
    Your Ladyship, I hereby pledge to honour and protect thee from all the perfume philistines of the world, and to forever be thy loyal liege. *bows*
    Seriously, M, thanks so much, I’ve been jumping up and down like crazy! You and Patty are real gems! Mwuaaah

  • violetnoir says:

    LHJ needs to be slapped!

    Why is it okay to collect stamps, dolls, even guns, but not perfume???

    Shame on them for being so judgmental. :-l


  • March says:

    Dusan — sorry, no Guerlain boutiques is still a hardship. I’ll get your address from Patty and send you a little love.:x

  • Rosie says:

    March, Orchids are in my greenhouse, auto watered! 😉

  • Dusan says:

    LOL at War-Torn Country Giveaway Drawing! March, you really are a darling! Okay, I may have mislead you into believing there’s some serious stuff going on here right now, but the truth is that the wars ended back in 1995 and they were never fought in Serbia proper, but rather in Croatia and Bosnia&Herzegovina, so I was lucky enough not to have experienced it as a soldier (was young for the army) or otherwise. On the other hand, the 1999 NATO bombing of Serbia shook me pretty hard, mostly because I’d thought it inconceivable. You can’t imagine that 3-month horror of constantly anticipating when and where the bomb will hit, of the blood-chilling sirens announcing the imminent B52s and the whizzing and whooshing of projectiles. And than *wham bang*! Funny how in time I got used to all but the sound of sirens. Go figure. So, it was pretty stiff economically during Milosevic’s regime, but the situation has changed dramatically since 2001. Only, there are no Guerlains (except L’I) or niche perfumery (a matter of marketing), but other than that we’ve got pretty much everything. Therefore, I’m a bit embarrassed to claim the award, having received my Malle (and some) pkg from dear Patty without being subjected to any form of persecution or harassment whatsoever ;-).
    But you are ever so kind, oh March the Benevolent! 🙂

  • March says:

    Dusan — Oh, my.

    Okay, you’re the winner in the War-Torn Country Giveaway Drawing. If I sent you a little care package, do you think you’d get it? Or would government forces confiscate it and put you in the slammer and charge you with Western Decadence or something? Seriously. Let me know.

  • Dusan says:

    Ooh, alcohol AND leather, now that must be an interesting combination! Joking aside, you’re cracking me up so much I forgot what you must be going through.
    Ahem, I live in Belgrade, Serbia and Montenegro, a country that has been pretty infamous in the past decade or so (civil wars, Milosevic etc.).
    Can’t wait for that review!

  • March says:

    Dusan, where the heck are you, anyway?

    Re Derby — you will just have to wander back here later this week, I am reviewing it in the candy samples. Been on a bit of a bender, due to stress. I smell really weird by the end of the day.

  • Dusan says:

    M, tell me more about Derby. How does it compare to L’Instant, if at all?

  • Dusan says:

    ROFL at your retort to Patty!
    Derby, Guerlain, Leather? *slavers* *and then bursts into tears* No, darn it! Don’t get me started about Guerlain – the only G. now available in this godforsaken town (the capital city, mind you) is L’Instant for boys and girls but I had to have mine smuggled into the country ;-). Oh, how I want Habit Rouge, desire Heritage, yearn for Derby, ache for Mitsouko! Alas, woe is me! *weeps&wails&pulls his beautiful hair out*

  • Patty says:

    You had better spray your way out! 🙂 Closet schmoset. I have the dark little chests I keep the darlings in, away from the sun, just enough to open up and croon “My preeecccciousssssssses” several hundred times a day.

  • March says:

    March: “Patty — shoot … you’ve fainted from the shock of the idea of only owning two fragrances. What do I spray you with?!?!?”


    “Wait, let me open the door to your fragrance closet and find something something refresh—”


    — The End —

  • March says:

    Pam, thanks for your 😡 we are hanging in there. Lots of cheap laffs and some tears … what she would have wanted, more or less.

  • March says:

    Marina — yeah, they’ve been smoking that cannabis santal over there at LHJ./:)

  • March says:

    Dusan …. have you tried Guerlain Derby?

    :d Right up your alley, I ate the whole sample in two goes. Guerlain + leather = 😡

  • March says:

    Sybil — to be fair to them, I feel like they were trying to be helpful along the lines of, you know, get rid of all that old makeup. But the basic, risible idea was that two scents is all anyone could ever want or need.

  • Patty says:


  • March says:

    Flora — well, now I’m feeling guilty. I mean, what if it was Self, or one of those other dumb rags I never read because I’m always catching up on my differential equations, or re-reading Proust?

    No home-baked cookies at the bake sale any more. Against PTA rules. Food allergies. You show up and buy cookies that came from a Giant bakery box. Don’t get me started.

  • March says:

    Rosie …. several HUNDRED orchids?!


    Uh, how do you water them all? Are they in a greenhouse?

    Sixty frags is well within the normal range. March the Maleficent has decreed.

  • Pam says:

    Ha. Six or less? What is this, new math? No way could I get my collection down that far. Nor do I want to. Yep, sign me up for that intervention, March. I’m right behind you!:d

    Hope you and your family are doing okay, M.

  • marina says:

    *laughs hysterically*

  • Dusan says:

    Streamlining any perfume junkie’s collection (to a scary 6) is plain daft! Hell I’m finding so many new things to love that the number just keeps increasing. Ladies Journal Schmournal! Bah!

  • sybil says:

    Ok…who died and made them the perfume control overlords? Couldn’t they find something more pressing to have a snit about?

  • Flora says:

    Th Ladies Home Journal? The same magazine has has “Can This Marriage Be Saved?” Maybe more of them would be saved if people wore more good perfume…

    How dare they decide what is “excessive?” Are they afraid women might have too much fun in life and forget about baking thirty dozen cookies for the PTA bake sale? What-ever! 8-|

  • Rosie says:

    I collect orchids and have several hundred.
    I have 60 more or less fragrances, I don`t consider myself a collector,,,yet. Are they kidding?

  • March says:

    Angela — that’s it exactly. I assume 60 Hummel figurines would be considered a wonderful collection. And 35 pairs of shoes would be fashion-forward (or at least tolerated.) You can have a bunch of kitty mugs, or shotglasses, or lipsticks.

    But more than two fragrances? Excessive. Unmanageable. Impractical.[-(

  • Good point Angela:)

  • AngelaS says:

    Six or fewer! I guess that’s why it’s Ladies Home Journal and not Glamour Pusses Living the Good Life. Maybe the Ladies Home Journal staff should consider only listening to six or fewer CDs or liking six or fewer novelists.