I’m thinking about getting a big roll of those Mr. Yuck stickers to carry around in my purse and stick on store testers as a warning, as a public service, sort of. What do you think? I’d start with…

Stella in Two. The genius here is that there are TWO parts. Part One is an amber solid perfume, in a case that must be made out of lead (what’s heavier than lead, anyway? Plutonium? Kryptonite?). Honestly, I thought it was magnetized and stuck to the counter – it’s almost funny how heavy it is. It smelled like … waxy amber. Part Two, a peony fragrance in a triangle-shaped bottle, seems to have trouble standing up on its own; more than once I have seen it beached there on its side, leaking fluid all over the counter in an oozing, baking mess under the klieg lights of the Saks fragrance corner. The bottle was all wet and sticky so I just sniffed the puddle instead. No thanks. (I’ve also sniffed this twice since. Ugh. I love peony; not sure what it is about this one I dislike so much.)

Gaultier2 – Reviews say “sweet” and “bubblegum.” Also “sweet.” Some also mention “powdery.” (Did I say “sweet” already?) So I went over there with my barf bag and some rubber gloves and had a go. What is wrong with everyone? I thought it was great. It’s unisex, and at least it’s not a marine scent, or some gourmand thing. It reminds me a little of the weirdness of Versace Dreamer, with less auto parts and more tootsie roll (I love the Dreamer!) It’s allegedly simple (amber, vanilla and musk) and it’s extremely linear, and so what? WYSIWYG. Rock on, Gaultier! Plus you can stick it to your fridge (assuming you don’t have a stupid Sub-Zero) because it’s MAGNETIZED. The oil smelled fabulous, the same general effect as the monoi stuff. Everything doesn’t have to be eating at Le Cirque, right? Sometimes I just want a really good burger.

That New Crap From Valentino – they’re spraying it on silk rose petals. I am guessing here: Praline Accord? Oh, my god … Mr. Yuck, hold me! Okay, Neiman Marcus says … bergamot, black currant, and crunch green. • Middle notes of orange blossom, gardenia, muguet, and rose.• Base notes of sandalwood, orris, musky notes, vanilla, and heliotrope. It’s called Rock ‘n Rose. I’ve … I’ve been heliotroped! Call 911!

Ormond Jayne Orris Noir. Patty, I think I’d like it, but each time I put it on I go into a wild, sneezing fit. The other OJs don’t do that. Jeez. In fact the only other frag I can think of that makes me sneeze is Trouble. I’ll keep trying.

Hilary Duff Love Ya! I love Hil. She’s the only one of the Former Child Actresses My Girls Love who hasn’t starved herself down to 90 lbs. smoking and doing blow all night at Bungalow 8. Not naming any names… notes are mangosteen (fruit and blossom), spices, cocobolo wood, amber milk, musk. The fragrance is nicely done, not at all what I expected for a teen queen’s first foray. Gourmand – like chai, sort of, with musk and woods. It’s a bit sweet for my taste in the opening, but I must be 25 years over the target demographic, and I wouldn’t hesitate to give it as a fragrance gift that doesn’t scream Pole Dancer in Training. (Not naming any names.) Can I say the bottle is beautiful? No, really — lovely to hold, too. (Additional comment – huh. For one of those pretty, sort-of-forgettable frags, I’ve tried it several times now, and … and so help me, I might actually buy this. I need some more comfort scents. Ack! They’ll probably card me and refuse to sell…)

Marc Jacobs Fall Splash Tri- – uh, Duo – I finally tried the Violet, and Ina’s right – it’s nicely done. On me it’s a musky (rather than candied) violet, with a dust of cocoa and a little ginger, and for such a gentle comfort scent it’s surprisingly long-lasting; any violet fans should definitely give it a sniff. It also has what I’ve come to think of as the Insolence Effect – every time I wear it I get compliments from strangers – men and women – who are wild for it. The Ivy isn’t so bad – just a basic citrus/herbal cologne. But the mystery is … where’s the Amber? It’s gone from the shelves. In fact, the SAs at both Sephora and Nordstrom assured me confidently that this set was issued as a duo, and I’m mixing it up with the summer set (and what’s the point of arguing? None.) So riddle me this, batgirls: was the Amber that bad? Is it gone from your shelves too?

Donna Karan New York – the one in the weird, black mutant bottle that reminds me of Darth Vader or a robotic duck (see photo) – not DKNY, which I think is a lighter, summery scent. Notes of rose, lily, apricot, suede, amber, jasmine and patchouli. Anybody remember this? Somebody else weigh in here. It’s interesting. It doesn’t smell like anything else I own. The opening is very rough going, and I’m not loving the drydown either – it doesn’t really smell floral at all – more like spice. I am trying to figure out who this is targeted to … no, I’m not being a snot, I mean it. What do you think it smells like? It’s so … weird on me. Maybe I’m having a skin chemistry issue, I need to try it on someone else?

My question to you: it’s that time of year – all the fragrance gift sets of the season, a million of ‘em! What looks good to you? Anything with a particularly great bonus or packaging you’ve seen?

March and I tried the new Tom Ford on the exact same day, isn’t that fun? So we’ll review jointly.

From March: I’ve read all sorts of things about Tom Ford’s Black Orchid in the months leading up to the release. I remember something about his magicians capturing the smell of the rare black orchid (maybe bred just for Tom?) using headspace technology. Looking at the advertising, the fragrance is presented as sultry, seductive, and a little retro. The ad campaign (featuring the daughter of French Vogue’s editor) gives off its own sensual, Black-Dahlia-esque vibe.

I’m not sure what I was expecting – something a little edgy, maybe a balance between the sharpness of orchid and something creamy, like musk? Or darker, incense perhaps, and/or aldehydes for that retro buzz. Whatever I was expecting, what I smelled on Friday wasn’t it. It’s early yet, and part of the fun of being among the first reviews of a new fragrance is the chance to look like an idiot when everyone else weighs in, but here’s mine. Black Orchid is not a bad fragrance, by any stretch. The SAs at the Neiman Marcus I’ve been stalking relentlessly were still unpacking the bottles. They’d gone through their new-scent training, and they described the scent confidently, in unison, as: vanilla; chocolate; pineapple, patchouli; sandalwood. And that’s more or less exactly what it smells like. I get a fair amount of chocolate throughout, more the mildly bitter cocoa-hull smell. The pineapple is juicy and not overly sweet. The patch arrives 15 minutes in, and it’s very civilized; if there’s sandalwood I can’t smell it. In fact, I can’t smell any woods at all – I’d describe the overall feel as fruity, rich and slightly gourmand. It’s a very pretty fragrance; the friend I was shopping with really liked it. It’s not a “casual” fragrance, but there’s nothing particularly smouldering about it, either, and to me it smells quite modern.

Here are the notes for Black Orchid listed on the NM website:

• Sensuous top notes of Black Truffle and Ylang mingled with fresh Bergamot and delectable Black Currant.
• Dramatic middle notes of dark, tempting Florals and rich Fruit Accords. The heart is deepened with the intoxicating Lotus Wood.
• Decadent base notes of Patchouli, Incense and Vetiver. Vanilla Tears add a fluid creaminess to warm Balsam and smooth Sandalwood.

Here are the (somewhat different) set of notes cribbed from Robin’s brief, excellent writeup on Now Smell This regarding the launch: “The fragrance, by Givaudan, has top notes of French jasmine, black gardenia, ylang ylang, bergamot, mandarin and effervescent citrus; a heart of Tom Ford black orchid, spicy floral orchid accords and lotus wood, and a drydown of patchouli, incense, amber, sandalwood and vanilla.”

Well … you tell me. I have no idea what juju is in there, but I’m smelling … chocovanillapineapple, just like the nice ladies said. I also get an unfortunate whiff of what I can only describe as a faint, metallic “marine accord,” that fresh, breezy smell that’s in everything these days, although I do wonder whether it’s a skin chemistry issue. My verdict: if you gave it to me, I’d wear it.

From Patty: Um, March wrote a damn book, so I’ll be much briefer. I quite like the opening notes, whatever may actually be in there, whether it is the capturement of the rare black orchid or whatever — it’s really dark and different and just a little haunting. What I don’t like as much is where it goes after that very dark, different opening. Can everyone just give Black Currant a rest for a while? I like the scent well enough, but I’m just weary of it. It’s the New Black this season, but it’s not very black and doesn’t go in every perfume like flour goes in every cake, so stop it already, it’s boring. I wish this had stayed darker and left out a lot of the fruit accords that show up after the open, but they don’t stay that long before they get modified, so I’m not unhappy with the juice, just don’t like that part of it.

So the middle is a little too fruity for me, but not in a way that makes me hate it, just in a way that makes me want to go back to the beginning of it or let it dry down so I can get to something I like more. I don’t get any woods in this either, but the bottom notes are very well behaved, and even though I’m not a Patch person, I’m quite relieved to see it show up fairly early on and knock down some of the fruit, which then makes this a nice perfume overall, leaning a little to the dark side. It’s just not as dark and haunting all the way through like I hoped it would be.

Now, can I talk about the bottle? I LOVE that damn bottle, it really is just gorgeous in its simplicity and shows where Tom’s strength is… in design. I’d buy this for the bottle alone — simple, elegant.

From us both:

Since Tom’s fragrance, while nice enough, seems too lightweight to live up to this wonderful ad, what modern fragrance do you readers think of when you look at that image?

March’s vote: Carnal Flower

Patty’s vote: Musc Ravageur

Also, respond with a comment and be entered in the drawing for a sample of this fragrance!

Donna Karan Gold has notes of casablanca lily, white clove, jasmine, balsam, amber, patchouli. Casablanca lily is one of my favorite flowers when it’s in the garden, but bring it in the house, and, man, it is overwhelming in just the strength of its perfume. So while a favorite smell at a distance, it’s a tough thing to do in a perfume uniquely and to keep its ferocity under wraps.

The amber and patchouli tamps down what can be a cloying lily smell and makes it softer, never too much, but adding a nice twist on it that is very different. Normally the department store scents do little but deliver up an overamped heart note to satisfy the masses, but leaves the perfume obsessed like us sighing and rolling our eyes at doing the obvious. This time, they’ve done the lily right, leaving it warm and a little green, as if the sun had kissed the the slowly opening blossom. This is much, much more interesting than what I expected and seems FBW, though I may wait until it hits the discounters.

For those of you who have smelled the EDP and the EDT, how much of a differentce is there? I tried the EDP and liked it a lot, but don’t want to get the EDT and lament that I saved money for something I don’t like as well.

So far this fall’s crop of scents have been quite good as far as being interesting. I’ve liked most of them — Dzongkha, Fleur de Narcisse, Mandarine-Mandarin — and now DK Gold. Still on the horizon are Tom Ford’s Black Orchid and the new Hermessence. I’m worried about the Hermessence Paprika Basil, it’s been panned as weak to quite weak so far by everyone, but now that my expectations are very low, maybe it won’t be as disappointing? How could JCE have gone so wrong? Holding out hope that I will like it regardless, it should be in my hands this week or next to try.

What’s been your favorite new release this fall?

We’ve all had them, perfume accidents. You get a promising sample from your best perfume buddy, one she/he has been raving about for weeks. The notes sound spectacular, your friend assures you there is nothing else like it, you will smell like a slice o’ heaven, it will be love at first sniff, you MUST.try.it.now. Instead of just lightly dabbing it on, you dump it on your arm, thinking something that is so great, more is always better. Well… it’s not so great smelling right out of the vial. You’ll wait, it has to get better, your perfume pal would never like something this horrific, and you know that the real test is in the drydown, screw those top notes, they’re just the sprinkles on top of the cupcake.

30 minutes later… ohmygod, Becky, this isn’t getting better, it is getting worse, turning into something that is a cross between burning tires and a Toni home perm. You hold your stinking arm away from you, and you don’t care about the drydown, this is foul, your nose is in pain, there’s no way Anderson Cooper would ever hook up with you smelling like this (I don’t get the Anderson love, I don’t, sorry!), it must go.

So how do you get those stinkers off? I’ve tried soap, nail polish remover, just alcohol, makeup remover, and the only thing that’s ever foolproof gotten rid of a stink-bomb perfume is a hot shower, plenty of soap and a fresh set of clothes.

Someone asked me this question recently, and since I didn’t have any easy solution, I thought I’d ask all of you

I wrote the folks at Parfums M. Micallef recently, inquiring politely as to the possibility of purchasing some samples of their product. Alternately, if no samples were available, could I make some arrangements to buy a full bottle, and in that case, what would be the price?

Here is the reply in its entirety: Sorry we don’t sell by internet and our fragrances are not available in United States

Now, isn’t that the perfect, breezy Gallic blow-off? I never got used to it in Paris, and I’m still not used to it, really. After all, I’m an American. We may not be able to adequately house and educate our poor, but we shop like gods. What does he (she?) mean, I can’t have any? I have my Mastercard right here, locked and loaded. I’m indignant. We have invaded countries over less. In fact, he’s lucky I’m not Mrs. Dick Cheney, or we’d be parachuting our boys into Cannes right now. Then we’ll see who gets to try Les Exclusifs, hmmmm, monsieur? Let us see you try and stop us from sniffing your oudhs…

But this will not happen. For one thing, I would rather gouge out my eyes with a spoon than marry Dick Cheney. I will have to come up with a more workable plan. (Do I really have to go to Dubai to sample it?) One thing’s for sure – I’m not giving up. Their website is worthless. Does anyone have any idea if Micallef is sold in, say, London or Paris? Or down the block from your house at Chez Parfums Le Snob? I’m particularly interested in Avant-Garde, Pomelos, Gaiac and the oudhs, although I’d smell any of them. Do let me know.

Coty Chypre This was the first fragrance on my Must Smell Before I Die List. Having discovered that one of my favorite eBay Sellers, Dragonfly Scent Me, sells it in decants (how did I miss that one?) I bought a sample of the EDP. I have no idea what vintage it is, but it is vintage, having been out of production at this point for decades. I was anxious, honestly. What does the Mother of All Chypre smell like? The sillage of Dorothy Parker? The famously dangerous jus of girls gone wild? Coty Chypre is all bottom – like turning the bass way up on your stereo – and was fascinating to smell. It’s sweeter than I expected. It’s also less shocking – and this makes sense, of course. To my modern nose, tripping along the niche trail daily from birchtar to barnyard, what was I expecting? It also has essentially no development — just a three-part harmony of pickled grapefruit, dirty suede, and oakmoss – that perfect, humpy thrum of chypre that makes my knees weak. Nobody smells like this. I could go off on one of my ten-paragraph tangents about my longing for the time of fully clothed women broadcasting their ripe sexuality via perfumes, but instead I’ll stick a link here to my post about Houbigant Apercu and say in closing that if I were Empress, the house of Coty would be blowing the dust off its old recipe books and whipping some of this up for the masses.

Lorenzo Villoresi Teint de Neige – proving unequivocally that, having spent years (lifetimes?) smelling baby powder, breast milk, Balmex and barf, I never want to smell any of those things again. Ever. Your powdery comfort scent is my own personal hell.

Matthew Williamson Incense – another one of my long-fantasized-about discontinued fragrances. The first five minutes are really the only “incense” part – afterwards it settles into mostly creamy saffron and (I’m winging it here) some woods on a base of gentle musk. It bears a passing resemblance to Chaos, so of course I was pleased by the smell and I liked it very much. But I did not swoooooooon, and I can give up mourning its unavailability. On me the chief annoyance is the lasting power is poor, an hour or so, and that’s generally not a problem I have with scents. We’ll see. I’ll finish off my generous decant and maybe by the end of it I’ll need more, but probably not.

Guerlain Bois d’Armenie – the whole L’Art et la Matiere part of their line is starting to resemble some elaborate practical joke to me. Or maybe I should set up a new blog and call it Perfume Contrarian? What everyone else got: the delicate smell of sweet powder, woods, smoke, vanilla, and/or benzoin, inspired by the scented papers you can burn as an incense alternative. What I get: Vicks Cherry Cough Syrup, erasers and, okay, benzoin. Ugh. If you burned this in my house I’d hit you with something. I hear that brand-new Nuit d’Amour at Bergdorf in New York is insipid. If Voilette de Madame doesn’t smell amazing, or at least interesting (Madame’s unwashed undergarments?) I’m hanging up my stupid Guerlain spurs and never pimping for the house again. I mean it. I have had it with Guerlain. But let’s not judge. Instead, let’s move on to the happier note of…

Jean Paul Gaultier Classique parfum – You know the bottle – vulgar, Madonna-esque corseted dress-dummy with the big boobs, decorated over the years in various ways. Ina reviewed this and sent me a sample of the parfum, which she characterized as “Eau de Posh” and “opulent.” It is, in contrast to its trashy container, extremely expensive-smelling, sexy rather than stuffy. I wouldn’t call it Classique. More like Vixen. Or Bombshell. Notes are orange flower, Bulgarian rose, Italian mandarin, star aniseed, orchid, iris, Ylang-Ylang, ginger, vanilla, amber. The most pleasant surprise to me (follow along here) is: parfums with this level of opaque richness tend to smell almost like sweet liqueur to me in a way I don’t care for. JPG parfum manages that level of va-va-voom but moves in the direction of sharp/tartness, what I’m guessing is orchid, a pretty neat trick. If you have some tolerance for over-the-top sillage (think Joy, Fracas or Poison), give this a sniff.

An aside on L by Lolita Lempicka – Patty sent me her Little Mermaid bottle (I love you, Patty!) In person, those bottles are adorable – heart-shaped rather than the weird lumpen look they have in photos, and all the bling is actually kinda charming. So I take back all the mean things I said about the bottle based on the photos.

The winner of the night with Anderso—uh, the Chaos sample, chosen by the filthy (but morally unsullied) hand of a toddler was… Natalie! (#28). Please email me with your address. For the rest of you … okay, these drawings are starting to make me feel guilty. Maybe I should start giving away crappier stuff? I certainly own some. Anyway, if you check on eBay, often there are original sample sprays (which is what I bought) for sale for $10ish under Buy it Now, and there are always decants. Or go look at that stunning icicle-shaped 15ml bottle of parfum on there for $499 and weep at the sheer beauty.

Here’s a few things that have been my favorite products or tips in October.

How to apply a simple lip that stays for a while. This applies to people like me whose lip gloss and lipstick just slide off your lips in less than 30 minutes after application. Put on Chapstick first, then use a lip pencil over the Chapstick. That’s it. I always like a really natural looking lip that’s not overly done, and this is perfect and sticks for at least a few hours and doesn’t wind up in the corners of my mouth or clumped on the outer corners making me look like I’ve been eating chocolate ice cream. Got this tip from an Armani makeup artist. Favorite lip pencils this month, Chanel Rose Tawny and Armani lip Crayon No. 9.

Cle de Peau lip gloss. I think I’ve got No. 3, but it is a beautiful glossy natural pink that stays put about better than anything I can remember.

Laura Geller Eyebrow Tint and Tamer. One side applies a light color that stays put on your eyebrows, and the other side applies a gel that keeps your eyebrows in place. My eyebrows have never looked better and more tame.

Armani’s new Maestro mascara. Just picked this one up today. Put on one coat on my lashes, and it’s still on, and gives a very non-clumpy application, just gives you long pretty lashes, no smudging. I have really fine lashes, so it’s tough to get something that will stay but doesn’t give me spider eyes. I have a LOT of mascaras, but this one is going to the top of my list for everyday wear.

Shu Uemura Pearl loose face powder. I dust this on over my face really lightly when I’m all done with my makeup, and it just gives me a very pretty sheen that’s not too much, but just glistens a little.

Votivo Gingersnap candle — perfect scent for fall.

New candle melter. This is a little heating lamp, and you put your candle on the pad underneath the lamp, and it melts and releases scent and lots of it. I’ve used the heating pads before, but those melt from the bottom, and you wind up melting the whole candle just to get it to release scent. This melts from the top down, so it doesn’t all melt, and it starts perfuming the air immediately. I had it on for about 5 minutes, and the whole house smelled delicious. Very impressive doohickey!

Some dreams die hard. I suppose I will never be six feet tall. I have grudgingly given up the fantasy of a stolen night of passion with Anderson Cooper. But I make the days bearable by maintaining (and crossing names off) my private list of fragrances I need to smell while I still can – Coty Chypre, Guerlain Ode, Lanvin Scandal. You get the idea. If I have faith, sooner or later a taste of the most obscure scents will magically appear in my mailbox. Compared to many, Donna Karan Chaos isn’t even that obscure. Released in 1996 and discontinued (I think) in 2002, it has a cult following and you can find bottles regularly online, providing you’re willing to part with several hundred dollars. For much less money, the curious can buy one of the wee spray samplers on eBay. I lucked into a set of them recently, and was looking forward (perversely) to adding Chaos to my list of discontinued things that I enjoyed smelling but decided I could live without.

On the DK spectrum, Chaos somewhere between Cashmere Mist and Black Cashmere. Cashmere Mist (jasmine, muguet, bergamot, sandalwood, amber, musk) is described on its own website as “intended to be smelled by the wearer and those closest to her.” I think that for many people, it is precisely the comfort scent suggested by the name – snug, warm and close, it is a soothing skin scent, developing in a gentle arc from the more floral aspect at the beginning to a gentle, somewhat woody musk drydown. While I admire Cashmere Mist as a concept, it’s never been a comfort scent on me. The green note (I’m assuming some combo of muguet/bergamot) is always a bit too jarring and insistent, although I suspect that with less of that I’d love it.

Black Cashmere, on the other hand, is the sort of fragrance with much less universal appeal, but if you’re all in on the incense and woods, it’s pretty fabulous. While I’ve seen various spices listed as ingredients (saffron, clove, nutmeg, pimento berries, white pepper), the reality for most people seems to be a deep, rich combination of incense and wenge wood. While I wouldn’t change a note, some people complain of an odd, waxy note, and even more people seem to like the fragrance in theory (or on a scent strip) but find it much too strong in practical application. If you’re one of those people, I urge you to try the lotion, which to me smells precisely like the fragrance (that isn’t always true) but manages to amp down the entire effect considerably.

Chaos (notes of sandalwood, cardamom, cinnamon, padukwood, agarwood, saffron, clove, amber, musk, sage, lavender, chamomile, coriander) falls somewhere between the two – it is a comfort scent of the first magnitude (as far as I’m concerned, the name’s meant to be ironic), harmonious and close to the skin. It has Cashmere Mist’s fine-gauge gentleness rather than Black Cashmere’s kohl-eyed assertiveness. Chaos bears some relationship to Black Cashmere in terms of smell – it is a cousin, or (possibly) the Femme version, if Black Cashmere were Homme. They share the caramel/wood/nutty note, one of my favorites in any fragrance, but Chaos has only the lightest touch of incense. Thanks to the inverted ratio of woods to spices, Chaos blooms rather than retreats into Black Cashmere’s inky darkness. The spices together (I notice the cardamom and saffron most) complement the woods without being in any real way a gourmand note. The sharpness of the sage, lavender and chamomile keep the woods sheer. It’s difficult to describe the effect – Chaos wears lightly, and subtly, but it is by no means a “light” fragrance, and a spray or two carries me through the day, with its presence always detectable.

Each of us has a relationship with scent that is deeply personal, and I am no more able than the next person to parse precisely what fine oscillations in my brain caused by a particular perfume might move me so. Chaos doesn’t remind me of anything. It doesn’t take me any particular place. It provokes no deep associations or emotions. I am not even sorry I have discovered it so late, and maybe this besotted infatuation will pass, but Chaos is bringing me dangerously close to perfume monogamy. I have no idea why it was discontinued. I’ve read two stories: first, that Karan designed it for her husband (or he for her) and she pulled it after her husband’s premature death; and second that LVMH (?) axed it when they acquired her company. I would describe it as a fully unisex scent, woody rather than sweet, and maybe it just didn’t sell well. But now I understand why folks on Basenotes and elsewhere get weepy and bitter when they reminisce. It’s that good.

So, this week’s giveaway is one of my little sample sprays of Chaos (FYI – it’s not full, because that’s the way they were manufactured). If you’re interested, leave a comment below saying you’d like to be included in the drawing.

Regarding Anderson Cooper: Look at that photo from Vanity Fair — my masculine eye-candy ideal. I’m sorry about cropping this into a headshot only because his hands are beautiful. I have to be careful on the treadmill at the gym, because when he comes on the TV I keep forgetting to move my feet. I love the color of his hair, although I harbor a sneaking suspicion he’s rinsing it with Roux Fanci-full, in a shade called something like “Silver Fox,” just like the gray-haired ladies at the beauty parlor my mom used to go to when I was little.

How to decide if you want to do a cosmetic procedure:

1. Find a good doctor and schedule consult

2. Post about it on your blog and get pro and con opinions

3. Ignore advice and do what you planned on doing anyway, which was making an appointment for restylane and maybe botox.

Okay, I did it, and….. Well, let me tell the story first. I hate needles, always have. I was the little girl at the doctor’s office wailing inconsolably while they had me looking at pretty, shiny rings to take my mind off that long, sharp metal thing the doctor was going to jab me with.

For me to willingly schedule an appointment to have needles stuck in my face without being given a general anesthetic first is just crazy. But, hey, I’m menopausal, so crazy is just a part of the day now.

I was sooooo nervous this morning, but they were great at the doctor’s office and made me feel as at ease as I was going to get. Originally I was only sure I wanted the Restylane in my upper lip. This requires just a bit of background. I’ve always had good lips. Not too big, not too small, they’re just cute and have a little bow at the top, not thin, but pretty much perfect. Over the last 7-8 years, partly because I used to smoke and partly because of age, the outer edge of my upper lip was losing its volume, it was just collapsing, leaving what looking more like a red outline before you got to my upper lip. Most people could fix this with lipstick, but lipstick won’t stay on me, just lip gloss, so that option wasn’t gonna work.

After my upper lip kept deflating around the edges more and more like a slow leak in a flat tire, and my little bow just was looking sad, I decided I had to go ahead and at least try this. I’m really not that vain, and I’m perfectly happy to get old and look old. My upper lip turning into old lady lip was just not working for me! We all have our kinks, and it’s good to know where yours are.

We talked about doing a little Botox as well, just a little to help the downturning mouth (well, while we’re there and numbed up!). They put a drop where the line from your outer mouth about gets to the chin. That paralyzes the muscle, which then allows the mouth to lift back up. Then we talked about doing Restylane in the furrow, one single line, in the forehead, but she said it would be best to use the Botox there, see how that reduced it, then do Restylane since it would likely require far less after Botoxing. I’m a little nervous about Botox in the forehead… I’ve seen expressionless people, and I seriously do NOT like it. I’d rather have 3,000 wrinkles an inch deep in my face than to wind up devoid of forehead expression. But I thought… well, it’s just a little. I’ll try it — if I hate it, it will just wear off.

Now I’m signed up for three things to do. Hmmm…. this could be how this starts.

Anyway, they numb me up with a topical cream, then they put more numbing stuff inside my mouth, followed by three injections inside the mouth to finish the numbing. It really wasn’t bad at all as far as pain since I was pretty numb from all the topical ointments. She leans me back in the chair and gives me this cold air thing to blow on my faces. She said some patients find it helpful in just helping with the discomfort. Baaaa…. I’m a sheep, I blow the cold air on my face. I have no idea if it helps with the discomfort, but it feels pretty good.

She injects the Restylane in the lip, it doesn’t take long, massages it around. She also takes a little Restylane and puts it in the corners of the mouth to help the downturn in the mouthline. Then she does the quick little Botox injections, which seriously didn’t even hurt a bit. One in each corner below the mouth (near the chin — never put Botox near the mouth). Then she had me squint, found the muscle above each eye, one injection of Botox there, one in the middle and I think two further up on the muscle? I can’t remember. They were painless and kind of fun, so it didn’t even register where they went in. All in all, the procedures was relatively pain-free.

Afterwards, it is tender and swollen, but not as much as I expected, and there is some bruising. I don’t have big old trout lips even with the swelling, so that makes me happy. Some joker at my office left me a mirror with a sign on it “Caution, lips seen in the mirror may appear bigger than they are.” Bitch. Anyway, I was told not to expect optimum results for several days, after the swelling goes down, and that it takes a few days for the Botox to work into the muscles.

What do I think at the end of the first day? This shit rocks. I easily shaved 10-15 years off my face. Now, I tend to look fairly youthful, I don’t have a lot of wrinkles, but I was looking pretty much every bit of the 46 I am. The minor lines that were pulling down from the outer corners of my mouth are gone. I now have a neutral line there. It turns a little up, but mostly just in a nice even line. This is the biggest, most significant change and the one thing I’ll keep doing for sure. The upper lip is still a little bruised, but my lip line is now filled in to where it should be, and the swelling is very minor, and I’m totally loving having my upper lip back. My lips look balanced now, like they used to. The Botox in the forehead? The jury is still out on that since it takes a few days for that to do what it is going to do.

Should someone else do it? I don’t know. I had realistic expectations for my lips and to just return them to what they were. If you normally have a thin upper lip, I think the results may be harder to get to where it looks natural. Not that it can’t be done, but I think mine were easy to get a great result on. If you have the lines going down from your mouth… that is the best thing, I wouldn’t hesitate to recommend that procedure to anyone at all, it’s worth every penny. I just don’t look sad or upset anymore when I’m not. My husband took a look at me and swears 15-20 years are gone. I think he’s a doll. I can say this, I like my face again. It still has wrinkles, and I don’t look like I’m in my 20s, and I don’t think I look like I’m in my 30s either. These couple of things made me look good in my 40s, happy, relaxed, rested, it erased the stress lines from my face. Is that worth the price tag? Maybe not for everyone, but I think it’s pretty cool.

I had an interesting conversation recently with a fellow fragrance blogger regarding the various styles of perfume blogging. My fragrant friend X is a fan of the just-the-facts-ma’am approach: she wants (and gives) the notes, the nose, the retailers, info on development or sillage, and generally strays into the personal only when it relates to, say, commenting on the fragrance notes as part of a trend. When you read her reviews, you cannot necessarily tell how she feels about the fragrance she is reviewing – a perspective she considers irrelevant. If you read a few scent blogs, you can see there are others at this end of the spectrum as well.

I thought about our conversation for awhile. I have read her blog longer than anyone else’s, I’ve always enjoyed it, and her writing style is excellent. It’s just not a style I can emulate. Whether I like a fragrance – whether it moves me – how it connects to some moment in the past or present – is, to me, a large part of the fun of blogging about it. Even ragging on a fragrance can be fun on occasion (hey, see the post from last Friday.) For better or worse, I am fundamentally unable to separate a fragrance from my feelings about it. Ergo, the blather you read in my posts. I suppose folks who hate my style just give up and go elsewhere. For the rest of you, here are my feelings on:

L’Artisan Dzongkha – The reviews I recall have been universally positive. The L’Artisan blurb says: “wild smoky teas, ancient leathers, woods mixed with spices and veils of incense,” and that sums it up. If you had to hammer out a description of something I’d love, that’d cover all the bases. Furthermore, I am a happy fan of L’Artisan as a line. So Dzongkha was one of my most-anticipated fragrances of 2006, which is why my dislike for it is such a bitter disappointment. All the notes are a mishmash to my nose – from the hazy, indistinct opening smell of the bottom of a dusty, wooden spice cabinet, through the sour-tea-ish middle and into the drydown I can only describe as dropping a jar of pickles in a dusty warehouse. It’s not a bad smell by any stretch. It’s actually a nice smell. But it’s a smell – like dried mushrooms, linseed oil, or fresh latex paint – I find appealing without any desire whatsoever to wear it. Patty insists that the drydown is wonderful; I’ll keep trying. Thus far the only way I like it is with IUNX L’Ether on top, but come on – I’d probably like Baby Phat Goddess if you sprayed some L’Ether on it…

Serge Lutens Mandarine Mandarin – I am one of, let us say, six people who thought Chypre Rouge smelled wonderful. To most other people, apparently, it was misery – in fact, I believe my beloved blogmate described it as “buttcrack and tears.” Which is why all the love being shown MM baffles me. Not that it doesn’t smell great; it does. But to me, the Serge story on this one is: Chypre Rouge and SL Fleurs d’Oranger have a tryst. A child is brought forth. Which they lacquer. And voila – Mandarine Mandarin, more or less. I have now tested this theory on my arms – MM on one, and CR layered with FdeO on the other. My layered combo is missing the weird acetone note, which is fine by me (although I don’t get it every time), and it’s less sweet than the MM. Also, the opening of cumin dancing with immortelle in the layered version provides a surprisingly sexy armpit accord (wow, can I sell a concept or what? How come Serge never calls me with le job offer?) Having said all that: Mandarine Mandarin is just weird enough to be Serge, without being difficult to wear. The drydown – faintly spiced and somewhere between marmalade and orange trees – is a wonder. I’m guessing it’s going to be very popular. If you’ve still got some Chypre Rouge sitting around unloved and taking up space, try layering it with either Oranger or Mandarine itself, and you might be pleasantly surprised.

Penhaligon Malabah – notes are citrus, tea, ginger, Persian spices, jasmine, violet, rose, woods, musk, amber. I smelled this at Duft und Kultur in Vienna. The few Penhaligons I’ve smelled are like Eau de Granny, and somehow in the store I got the same vibe from this one. My sister-in-law bought two beautiful, small stoppered bottles at 15 Euros each (no, that’s not a typo). I came home with a sample vial, and I’ve now decided I’m an idiot for not buying my own. I wonder if I could bully one of those bottles out of her for Christmas… it’s perfume-y, yes. It’s got an old-fashioned, sweet aspect that keeps it from being a must-have, more floral than woody-musk. But it’s just … dreamy – the sort of thing you could throw on before a party and people would ask you what you were wearing. My guess is guys would love it on the nape of your neck.

image of Bhutan: farhorizon.com

At last… a new Ormonde Jayne! I’m a diehard fan, so it is beyond unlikely that I’m going to utter a derogatory word about any creation of theirs. While I don’t love them all equally and some are just like, I do admire what she has done with this line of beautiful perfumes, ones that I always enjoy wearing. I’ve found if you love the base in their perfumes, you’re bound to at least strong like their creations.

Orris Noir has top notes of Davana, Pink Pepper, Coriander Seed, Bergamot. Heart notes of Iris, Sambac Absolute, Pimento Berries, Bay. Base notes of incense, myrrh, patchouli, chinese cedar and gaiac.

This is far less sweet than many of the Ormonde Jayne perfumes… pretty much not sweet at all except very briefly on the open, just enough to let you know it is an Ormonde Jayne perfume. It goes on spicier and drier, and I get more incense early on, which stays for quite a good length of time. It’s beautifull blended and is far, far less opulent and overpowering as some from the line, like Ormonde Woman or Ta’if (hey, I love ‘em like that), and not at all sweet. I wind up getting very little of the OJ base that I normally smell with their perfumes in the drydown. It stays dry and spicy, and really understatedly beautiful. Soft, spicy and warm, and they’ve used the spice and iris together not the same as Iris Silver Mist, but in a similarly charming way. The longer you wear it, the more enchanting it becomes, a quite spicy iris whisper.. It’s a hit with me, partly because it rounds out a line of perfumes that I already love, but it’s a keeper on its own as well.

You can read Ina’s review, Marina’s review and Robin’s review.

Okay, today is the Restylane day. Eeep, I HATE needles, wish me luck, and you’ll hear all about it on Friday.

I loved Vienna. Why wouldn’t I? It’s full of beautiful architecture, fine art, excellent food, and people who look like they fell out of a Gorsuch catalog. I spent some time at the famed Spanish Riding School with my sister-in-law, who teaches dressage, and we spent plenty of Euros on some trachten mode (no lederhosen, but fabulous scarves, boots, wool slippers, felt hats and capes.) We ate. And drank. And ate and drank. If eating and drinking well were an Olympic sport, I was doing my best to win a medal, although compared to the sybarites around us in cafes and restaurants I’d never place higher than a bronze.

Highlights included:

The sounds of the fiacres (horse-drawn carriages) on the cobblestone street outside our hotel at night.
Three stunning Japanese women dressed in what I’ll refer to in my ignorance as Full Geisha, conferring delicately one evening while selecting their pastries at the Sacher café.
The kids with their boombox outside the Stephansdom every day, breakdancing for the tourists to classical music – some Mozart, sure, but also Debussy.
The sweet-sour smell and taste of the mildly fermented grape juice (think hard cider) they call sturm, sold out of barrels on the street in October, which they (and I) drank in absurd quantities.
Sprawling on the grass outside the Hofbergpalace in the sun, watching a single red balloon bounce and spin its way across the endless expanse of lawn.
Shopping at Julius Meinl am Graben, a two-story gourmand paradise that makes our local Sutton Place Gourmet look like the Quik Mart. If you are a foodie and/or interested in high-end grocery shops and ever get to Vienna, go. I came home with various sardines, preserves, pickled oddities, gourmet chocolates, treats in fancy tins and jars, a tiny creamer with their logo, and a longing that won’t go away. If I go to heaven, that store will be there.

I did not come home with any fragrance. Really, I tried. Vienna is extremely cultured, which I expected. But in their way they are also pleasure-seekers to a degree that surprised me. I wanted a perfume associated with my pleasure, the way my tiny bottle of Arancia Dolce from the iPdF store in Florence transports me instantly back to Italy. I smelled a lot of product. Fragrance-wise there are perfume shops everywhere, and mostly what I notice is they carry everything from the low end Alyssa Ashley to the Chanel together. A couple of places have Serge Lutens. The best niche shop (as someone commented last Monday) seems to be Duft und Kultur on the Tuchlauben, near the city centre. I smelled Dzongkha there, and they carry Esteban, Keiko Mecheri, Le Prince Jardiniere, Penhaligon, Rance and some other things. Their shop is beautiful and looks like an old apothecary, with the wooden cabinets.

For the highest concentration of fine perfumeries I would recommend the four-store cluster of: the beautiful Knize store on the Graben (I should have bought the Sec, it smells like incense); Nagele & Strubell store directly across from Knize (where I sniffed the Mugler coffret); the shoebox-sized parfumerie immediately next door to Knize, whose name escapes me (something Sohn) but which is stuffed with a startling amount of unusual fragrances. I almost bought Caterina by Lorenzo di Medici there (the bottle alone is worth it), but for reasons unclear I left without it. The delightful sales person also told me she has some discontinued Caron in the back, information that was totally wasted on me, as you know. I meant to return and get some names, but I didn’t. There was also a parfumerie set to open this week around the corner from the Nagele store, called something simple like Le Parfum, and they looked like they had some very interesting things. I tried, but I couldn’t talk my way in. Maybe next time. After you’ve sniffed and spent yourself into semi-consciousness, go sit at the Meinl café at the end of the block and recover with a café mélange. Then head inside for dinner groceries. You deserve nothing but the finest, and they have it.

Bottle image: www.ausliebezumduft.de
Spanish riding school: srs.at

This is Armani’s newest foundation, the Shaping Cream Foundation with SPF 20. The great thing is this has SPF 20 in it. After my visit to the dermatologist, she made me promise to wear SPF 30 on my face every single day. Well, it’s not 30, but it’s close and gives me protection from the sun, which I am now convinced I have to do every day. And you should do it too. If you ever look under one of those lamps at what the sun does to your skin, you will be a believer, trust me. Dark pigmented spots and broken capillaries are just the beginning of sun damage that you can see without the lamp.

I’ve been using the Luminous Silk foundation for a couple of years and just adore it as it gives good coverage that never looks heavy, but the ruddiness in my skin tends to bleed through after I’ve had it on for a couple of hours, so the coverage has always been great, but light, and I just never wanted to have to go to a a heavier foundation just to get rid of the ruddy in my skin. I like a more natural look in foundation.

The difference between this and the Luminous Silk are minor as far as texture and look, but the Shaping Cream (SC) gives great coverage that, believe it or not, looks as sheer or more sheer. I’m having trouble wrapping my brain around that, but it seems to cover the pores better and just stick longer and give you flawless-looking skin. My sister, who has larger pores, says it is great in helping to cover or fill in larger pores and makes your skin look smoother. I’m lucky to have teeny pores, so I can’t speak to that.

Better coverage that looks lighter and stays all day… um, what’s not to love here? Well, for one, the price tag. $65. Plus the $50 for a brush that you really need to have for this foundation. I have the brush that they recommended for the luminous silk foundation and have always found it to be perfect. I was “told” that I needed the new brush for this one to get the best application so I got it. I didn’t test the differences, but I love the result. I look like I have flawless skin almost naturally.

It also lends itself well to spot coverage, which is how I normally apply my foundation, just doing a bit on the cheeks, nose, chin and middle of the forehead. Word of advice, get a shade darker than you normally do in the Armani foundation (if you’ve been using them) as this goes on lighter. I’m normally a 5.5, and I got a 6, and that shade is almost the exact shade of my skin.

You can get it at Barney’s and selected Saks stores or at the Armani website. It’s better to get someone that knows the shades to help you pick one out, if you can’t get samples to try first, but if you call the Barney’s store in NYC, I know they were sending out samples to try a couple of weeks ago.

How to be a Vicious Perfume Critic — by Katie, March and Patty.

I was going to do a review of the brand new Armani foundation today, but I just can’t, this is too pressing. Katie at Scentzilla and March and me were asked to do some quick impressions of celebrity scents for an AP article. You can go read it. I’ll wait for you to come back. No, go, you have to read it first.

My confession is two-fold: First, I knew the stuff March had said about the ones she got, and I was truly trying to be a little bit nicer on the couple that I did. Second, the Moi by Miss Piggy was on a card that came in the mail, and I’m not really sure I got the full flavor of it. It smelled okay, just little girlish, but if I’m wrong and it smells like moldy candy, it’s not my fault, I claim faulty original sniffage.

However, after reading the full article, I feel like the inferior mean girl of the Mean Girls. I give you two examples:

“Intimately Beckham is the ideal fragrance for those wanting to smell how Posh usually looks — like an aging European porn star attempting to class it up with excessive tanning and Botox,” from Katie.

and

It’s got the wildly popular fruity floral accord, a very girly scent that distinguishes itself by being more or less indistinguishable from its peers. I couldn’t pick it out of a lineup. That said, it smells OK. … Imagine Froot Loops with a little booze kick.” from March.

You should stop laughing, and so should I. Y’all have a great weekend!

Winner of the Fleur de Narcisse sample is — Nina. Congrats! Just click on the Contact Us button over there on the left and let me know your name/address, and as soon as my meandering from Germany bottle shows up, I’ll get you a sample mailed!

Ever have an overlooked everyday gem? I just tried the new Gwyneth Paltrow Limited Edition of Pleasures from Estee Lauder. Notes of lilies, peonies, jasmine, Karo-Karounde blossoms and the Baie rose. I used to love many Lauder scents… Cinnabar, Private Collection and White Linen… but I had never gotten around to trying this, and it has been around for a while. This is a really lovely light floral — not pretentious, heavy or with a lot of eccentricities…sheer and pretty and fruit-free. I don’t believe this Limited Edition varies from the original scent, except it comes in a very pretty pink bottle. What I like the most about this scent is you can wear it every day when you just don’t know what else to wear, and it’s a great gift for someone who you aren’t sure likes perfume or you don’t know what they like. Am I changing my wicked ways? No, not likely, but there’s something about appreciating nice, clean, light scents. You can’t wear Tubereuse Criminelle every day or it would lose its charm.

What are your favorite everyday scents? Not the niche, hard to get ones, but something that is easily accessible for most people, price-wise, smell-wise and you can actually find in many stores?

Mine have to be the Hermes scents, now that they are avilaible at pretty decent price points at discounters, and that includes eau de Merveilles, both of the un Jardins, Terre D’Hermes and for a dress-up scent, 24, Faubourg.

Tomorrow I have a review of Armanis’ new foundation! Made possible only because Barney’s finally is getting most of the orders out from their bag event. Someone remind me not to do the bag event next year.

Okay, this is my day off this week (yes, I’m lazy and can’t quite manage five posts a week — how pathetic am I?). No, I’ve got a heavy load at work yesterday and today, and no tiem to do anything but post this!

Sorry, guys, see you domani!

I haven’t been a fan of Creed for a long time, though I used to be quite enamored of their Silver Mountain Water until one note in it or just the potency of it overcame my nose, and now I’m way too sensitive to that note to wear it anymore. I still love it in theory and think it’s pretty original. So I ignored their Love in White release for the longest time… mostly because I didn’t want to shell out $180 for it. Finally it showed up on the discounters at a more reasonable price point, and I snagged it up.

Love in White has notes of orange zest, white jasmine, daffodil, sandalwood, rice husk, iris, magnolia, vanilla. There is something about the initial spritz of this a note that I’m totally not loving, and it just lingers around forever. I’ve seen reviews of this that hate it, love it, says it lasts no time at all, but my experience is a mix of some of those and the opposite of others. I hate it at first, and I’m not sure it ever turns into love, BUT… this is one of those perfumes that are like lasagna — it smells awesome the second day. I found it okay when I put it on, but it was only when I got up the next morning and smelled it on the sleeve of my jacket that it became near-love or great like. This thing seems to last forever on me, just softening a bit, getting rid of that sharp note that seems to annoy me (wish I was better with note dissection so I could tell you what note that is), and that makes it wearable and likable. So like washed hair that always looks better on the second day, that’s how I feel about Love in White. I think it’s the first perfume that has ever gone into that category.

Finally got my bottle of Hermes Elixir des Merveilles. I’ve seen a lot of mixed reviews on this, from love to like to hate. Notes of Orange Peel, vanilla, tonka bean, sandalwood, incense and ambergris. This is much more gourmandy than the original, which I adore unabashedly. I was a little worried about Eau des Merveilles getting its freak on with some foody notes, but I needn’t have worried. Purists won’t be too happy with it, but I think this thing rocks. It’s not as great as the original (few things are, but I think the addition of the gourmandy notes gives it a different appeal which is pretty delicious. The base of it holds the gourmand notes together so it doesn’t go off in some unwelcome overly sweet direction, and as it dries down, more of the base comes through, just with a softer feel.

Maybe it’s just the autumn, which is the only time I love me some gourmandy scents, but the Elixir is a great addition to the Merveilles franchise.

This is from our intrepid field reporter, March, from Vienna:

I went into a place on the Graben, which is near the Stephanplatz (the tourist center of town), across from the Knize store (which is cool Loos architecture), sniffing around in there through the Floris and the Dior and the Shiseido FdeB, and — there it was! Sitting on the shelf behind the cash register — that Mugler Perfume Coffret.

I waited and waited (the Viennese are exceedingly helpful and friendly) but in their defense, they were SLAMMEd. So eventually I … picked up one of the bottles in the coffret. They are TINY — the size of a small eyeshadow container? I smelled them frantically, waiting for someone to notice what I was doing… they are every bit as peculiar as the JARs.

I am winging the names of the individual scents a little — the “smell of humanity” was what you´d expect — like sniffing the Paris gutters. “Orgy” was pretty much the precise smell of post-coital .. well, you know. I mean, wow, how many mods did they sniff to come up with THAT?

Okay, here are my notes as I scribbled them down re the Mugler coffret:

• Orgy — sex (sperm)
• Human Condition — filth
• Salon Rouge — musky and sweet
• Sea — saltwater and … flesh (creepy)
• Nuits de Josephine (?) winey sweetness and armpit

and that´s precisely the point at which three clerks simultaneously rushed me waving their hands and bellowing something like “nicht propio!” which (here, let me take a wild guess at the translation) I´m thinking means “don´t touch!” and only their amazing Viennese manners kept them from hitting me with a box and hurling me out the door… so. There you go. The box is approximately the size of a shoebox and thus there is a fair amount of empty space, not sure about the rest of the packaging. I think the external cardboard pkg is a slip-on sleeve… it was great fun to hold those wee bottles in my hand. BTW Nuits de Josephine was ALMOST empty, so either it had been spilled (the bottles are glass stoppered) or it´s the favorite.

From Patty: I am just so proud of her, risking an internation incident to get us all a sniff of that coffret.

This week’s giveaway! How about a sample of your choice (you can look and see what I have or ask if I have it, which I have too much stuff!). Just drop a note in the comments. I’ll do the drawing from last week as soon as my bottle of Fleur de Narcisse shows up!

It’s a vacation day for me at work, so I’m taking a day off early from the blog today.

Everyone have a great weekend! I have a post on Monday from March about one of her, um, close calls in Vienna, so look for that.

Oh, wait I’ll leave you with my new favorite on “Grey’s Anatomy,” Eric Dane, otherwise known as Dr. McSteamy. Ahem. The name is accurate. It’s going to be a great season.

Random samples I have that I haven’t tested that are just laying around. That’s the only warning you get that I’m scrounging around in the sample drawer, and it won’t end well.

Vera Wang Princess — Notes of water lily, apple mandarin meringue, and golden apricot skin, dark chocolate, amber, musk and vanilla. Wow, this is… a worse Badgley Mischka (remember that I like BM, I just use it as a reference point) or that Moon thing from Hanae Mori or Hilary Duff’s new fragrance. Fruity without much floral. I feel like I just stuck my nose in an overripe basket of fruit. This is geared to the younger woman, but if she wears it, it will be.. oh, gag, sorry, stop me. I just can’t take this anymore!

John Varvatos — Tamarind tree leaves, sage flower, mediterranean herbs, auramber, vanilla and black leather essence. The bottle is awesome, the juice doesn’t really mach its spare, strong lines. It’s pretty potent when it goes on, but in an over the top, little too fruity-herby way. I’m not sure what note in this stays so strong, maybe the sage? Whatever it is, it stays too dominant, and there’s not enough leather in this. More leather would have made this pretty darn good. It’s not terrible, just not very memorable. Meh.

Miller Harris L’Air de Rien — I think this is the one March said I would hate. Well, it’s got to be better than the first two. Good Lord, that is some serious stanky skank. Okay, she warned me, but that’s not going to stop me from blaming her. Well, if you are looking for something darker, not run of the mill, this is your scent right here. For the first 20 minutes or so, I see myself back in the barn of my youth, with the musty hay and eau de crap that was in every crack and crevice of that buliding. As it dries down, it really is pretty unusual, like something beautiful that is warped just a little. It’s not one I’ll ever wear, but I’m not saying anything bad about it because they made a perfume that dared to be different, one that makes no excuses for being a little repulsive around the edges. Those of you that love to get your skank on need to get this immediately!

Hanae Mori Magical Moon. I had the old Hanae Mori years ago, thought I liked it, never wore it, it gave me a headache. March thought Magical Moon was pretty good, so I was willing to give it a go and stock up on Excedrin just in case.

Gad, I’m going to need that Excedrin, but not because of the smell. Notes of Osmanthus flower, rose, sugar cane, cotton flower, coconut milk, white musk, white sandalwood, red cedar, incense, litchi, patchouli, pineapple pulp, guava nectar, star fruit, orange flowers and pink berries… and a partridge in a pear tree.

It’s not terrible at all, is really quite good, but just more fruity floral stuff, and it smells so close to the new Badgley Mischka, just more sweet or something. And… I’ll just cut this review off there, I don’t have anything more interesting to say about it.

Which leads me to my escalating perfume annoyance — can we get new stuff in the department store? Just insert my normal rant about Stepford Perfumes here. I’m tired of saying it, and y’all are tired of hearing it.

Which leads to my question — besides the glut of perfumes that seem amazingly the same, if you could wave your want, what perfume trend would you banish today, and what perfume trend would you like to see back in vogue? You can answer both or one or the other.