Mean Girls… or…

How to be a Vicious Perfume Critic — by Katie, March and Patty.

I was going to do a review of the brand new Armani foundation today, but I just can’t, this is too pressing. Katie at Scentzilla and March and me were asked to do some quick impressions of celebrity scents for an AP article. You can go read it. I’ll wait for you to come back. No, go, you have to read it first.

My confession is two-fold: First, I knew the stuff March had said about the ones she got, and I was truly trying to be a little bit nicer on the couple that I did. Second, the Moi by Miss Piggy was on a card that came in the mail, and I’m not really sure I got the full flavor of it. It smelled okay, just little girlish, but if I’m wrong and it smells like moldy candy, it’s not my fault, I claim faulty original sniffage.

However, after reading the full article, I feel like the inferior mean girl of the Mean Girls. I give you two examples:

“Intimately Beckham is the ideal fragrance for those wanting to smell how Posh usually looks — like an aging European porn star attempting to class it up with excessive tanning and Botox,” from Katie.


It’s got the wildly popular fruity floral accord, a very girly scent that distinguishes itself by being more or less indistinguishable from its peers. I couldn’t pick it out of a lineup. That said, it smells OK. … Imagine Froot Loops with a little booze kick.” from March.

You should stop laughing, and so should I. Y’all have a great weekend!

  • tmp00 says:

    Victoria Beckham is totally fair game.

    Besides, you left out the plastic domes in her chest and her bad weave. There, I am officially meaner than you. :)>-

  • Sean says:

    Just *hic* follow your nose!!

  • Beth says:

    Hey, just found this site, looking to find a similar fragrance to the Gap’s Crushed Peony, now discontinued. I could eBay it up and buy up all the remaining Crushed Peony in the entire free world, but if anyone has any suggestions that are similar, or just something along the same, simple scent lines, that would be awesome. E-mail ( or a comment on my blog is cool. Thanks in advance!

  • Leopoldo says:

    Let’s be fair – real mean girls pick on the misfits. You mean girls stand up for ’em. Slap these overhyped, overvalued, sugary pseudoscents into the garbage chute where they belong!

  • Andy says:

    Live long and prosperous my dear mean perfume critic girls. I adore your reviews, the more cruel, the better …

  • Ina says:

    Brilliant!!! Standing ovation! :)>-

  • March says:

    Okay, I do want to point out in my defense that I did say something nice about JLo and (I think) one other thing… but it’s more fun for them to print the snarky stuff, right? Which I understand.

    I actually think that Moi bottle is kind of cool.

  • Teri says:

    With all that ‘hissing’ and ‘spitting’, it was nice to hear a little ‘purrrrr’. lol

    That being said, the comments WERE hilarious and totally spot on! Maybe manufacturers will take note.

    And now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to pour some vodka over my Froot Loops. hiccup…..

  • violetnoir says:

    What can I say? The truth hurts! :((

    Hugs, darling!

  • sariah says:

    Love it!!!!! March is truly naughty. Patty, I totally understand trying to temper it all with a little positive spin. I know you can be an equally mean mean girl when you want too. Have a great weekend.

  • Elle says:

    ROTFLMAO!!! All of you were absolutely brilliant! Congrats!!!!! God hope the perfume powers that be read those and take note.