I’m Too Sexy For My Shirt

(Notes for Eau d’Italie Baume du Doge: sweet orange, bergamot, cinnamon, coriander, cardamom, fennel, black pepper, myrrh, frankincense, clove, cedar, saffron, vetiver, vanilla, benzoin)

 (Cue the background music: Right Said Fred’s immortal lyrics…)

I´m too sexy for my shirt too sexy for my shirt
So sexy it hurts
And I´m too sexy for Milan too sexy for Milan
New York and Japan
And I´m too sexy for your party
Too sexy for your party
No way I´m disco dancing…

If I had a conversation with Eau d´Italie Baume du Doge, it would sound something like this:

Baume du Doge: Hey, sweet thing.  Howzit goin´?

March:  Uh … fine, thanks.

BdD: You can call me Da Bomb, girlie.  Da … bomb.  Heh heh.  Get it?  Hey, hand me that ashtray, willya?

March: Sure – hey, I´m—

BdD: That´s great, sweet lips.  So, you come here often?

March:  Not really—

BdD:  I smell good, yeah?  You smell me?  Nice, huh?  Quality.  That´s what I´m saying.  I´m a quality guy.  No cheap shit on me, ya know?   Check it – that orange.  It´s big, yeah?  You like it?  You like a big orange?  Girls always tellin´ me my orange is huge!

March:  Look—

BdD:  I know, I know, ladies loooove the orange!  And how bout those spices!  Those are something.  Got some big ol´ spices goin´ on there.

March:  Big orange.  Big spices, yes.

BdD:  My clove!  My cedar!!   Baby, check out my WOOD!!!!  That´s some huge, spicy orange wood right there!!  Lean on in.  Lean in and smell the wood!  I´m tellin´ you!   Qual-it-tee stuff right here!

March:  No offense, but … I´m just not that into you.  I mean, you hit all the right notes.  You look good on paper.  But in person, you´re annoying.  There´s no subtlety.  There´s a big fat pepper-mill opening, then a spicy orange … Even the frankenmyrrh drydown is a disappointment.  There´s some benzoin there, but it´s so muddy!   I didn´t like Sienne l´Hiver either, and you might even be worse.  Why does Bertrand Duchaufour do such dank scents occasionally?   You smell a clove-studded orange left in the trunk of my car a little too long.  

BdD:  Studly orange!!!  That´s me, baby, thanks for appreciating my finer qualities.  I am STUDLY.

March:  … you are a hot mess, you know that?

BdD:  HAWT!!!!  Say, you want to rooolll like an orange with me?  Get it?  Get it?  Roooollll????

March:  Waiter, could you please call me a taxi?

BdD:  My place or yours?

March:  Go away already, you pimped-out pomander.

BdD:  But baby—

March:  Scram!  Adios!!   SHOO!!!!!   

image: random guy who popped up I think when I googled “lounge lizard” and I hope he doesn’t run across his image here and leave me hate-spam.  I wonder why he’s wearing that thing on his head? Also, anyone with an iPod should have I’m Too Sexy on there, and if you can listen to it without laughing out loud and/or vogue-ing your way through it, you are made of sterner stuff than I am.

PS You nail polish nuts, please drop by my post from yesterday and advise me.

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Tante Kat
17 years ago

I guess this is why I love the world of fragrance, we all perceive things differently in it. I LOVE Paestum Rose and got my sample of the Baume yesterday and loved it on me and even more on DH. He has already deemed it FBW and put it on his Valentine’s wishlist.

Guess that is what makes the world of scent go round 🙂 Wouldn’t it be awful if we all liked only the same things?

BBJ
17 years ago

I love Eau d’Italie, and have a visceral reaction to Sienne l’Hiver that makes me want to drink the bottle, so maybe I’ll love this. Bois d’Umbrie is slowly growing on me, but it feels too masculine for me to wear.

kathleen
17 years ago

LOL, I bought my first Eau d’Italie at Georgette Klinger (hair salon) in Chevy Chase

kathleen
17 years ago
Reply to  kathleen

Oops, belongs up by March’s response to Kim

17 years ago

Somebody told me once that to get rid of an earworm you should sing the song (out loud or silently) “The Girl From Ipanema.”

That for some reason the earworm goes away and “The Girl From Ipanmea” doesn’t stick around either.

I’ve tried it and, by Jove, it works!

17 years ago
Reply to  Olfacta

Well, I am going to try it. I need to get rid of ACDC’s “Back in Black” and the new Subway theme “five-dollar footlong” (with accompanying gestures – very embarrassing8-|. And I love The Girl from Ip so even if that does stay it’s okay by me.

Way better than:

(okay, I won’t do it)

xo>-)

rosarita
17 years ago
Reply to  Musette

=)) Oh, this is killing me. First March’s absolutely brilliant post, then the Subway song – I don’t think the Girl From Ip is gonna cut this montage out of my head anytime soon! That Subway song and gestures – ohhh, too funny :-j

17 years ago
Reply to  March

March, my little jalapeno of fantabulousness –

Turn on the TV tonight. Wait around a few minutes. It’s bound to come on (I do hope it’s the hula dancers – they are the ones who really jammed that thing into my psyche, like a mini-Macarena!!!)

xo>-)

Elle
17 years ago

What a brilliant format for a review! Cracked me up. 🙂 And great news for my budget. I thought this might be the one Eau d’Italie I might actually need a full bottle of, but looks like another miss from that line (although I do enjoy my decant of Paestum).

Robin
17 years ago

Great post, but you’ve ruined my day.

Robin
17 years ago
Reply to  March

I liked one of those, can’t remember which, but didn’t love either. Drat. Was really looking forward to this one. Ah well, like I need another lemming…

Disteza
17 years ago

I’m not a big fan of the E d’I line on me, but on my SO they smell fan-freaking-tastic (especially Sienne and Bois). Baume du Doge smelled all right on me–it was fairly well-defined, but it doesn’t seem to have great lasting power in any stage–the orange is actually a bit player on me and is gone in the first 10 minutes. After that it’s mild spices and even milder wood. After the nasal barrage of El Attarine, which I have been trying to learn to love, this doesn’t hold up well. However, my SO wears it beautifully–the pepper is prominent, the benzoin and cedar are resinous and beautiful; it’s so completely unfair I could just smack him. [-(

sariah
17 years ago

Too funny! I not only have the song I’m Too Sexy, I have the whole album. I think Maxim once rated it one of the 25 most embarrasing CDs to have in your collection. In my defense, I was in high school.

helenviolette
17 years ago

March, you are a crack-up!=d>

17 years ago

He is kind of cute….

Kim
17 years ago

teh hee! :-j
the notes sound good on the surface but I guess not! None of the Eau d’Italie have been that great on my skin so I have basically given up trying them out. Kind of pale after you have tried real quality…

Debbie
17 years ago

Why, that’s the song I sing when I put on my super-kewl sunglasses. =)) As for the guy we’re all talking about here, I married him. He started out as a nice guy, but by the time seven years had passed…..

Anyway, I was really looking forward to trying this scent. I probably will still do so at some point, but the absolute longing to do so isn’t there any more. My wallet thanks you. (You know I never order just one thing at a time.)

kathleen
17 years ago
Reply to  March

I just sat down to remark about the same thing. I first read this at 7:30. It is now 3:30 and I am still singing this song. I am annoying..

kathleen
17 years ago
Reply to  March

I really hate The Girl from Ipanema. Right Said Fred is preferable as it does bring back some fond memories.

17 years ago

Just when I think you can’t possibly top yourself re witty ways to beat the petunias out of a fragrance!!=))

The only fragrance I like in this category is Agraria Bitter Orange which has a tea drydown that saves it from pomandering. And I think it’s only a VeryHotSummerDay fragrance – but I love it.

This just sounds like it smells funny – or smells like it sounds funny!

xo>-)

Gail S
17 years ago

Oh my goodness March! I’ve been dying to try this one and now, even if I like it, I don’t think I’ll be able to wear it :(( Not with the memory of that picture and the earworm of that song playing in my head. But that’s okay, I don’t need another perfume anyway :d But….I adore Sienne l’Hiver! It smells like a nice walk in a winter forest with snow and dry leaves crunching underfoot, maybe the occasional mushroom and a wood fire way off in the distance…

17 years ago

Now I finally know all the words to…what was the name that song again?

BTW I think that’s my brother in the photo.

Just kidding.

Good one March!

kathleen
17 years ago

Very funny. I used to go to the gym that Richard & Fred owned (Putney, I think). A real sweat & gob place. I’ve only spritzed “Doggy Bottom” once so far. It is very tenacious, isn’t it. I get a burst of citrus, then the spices, cardamom & fennel big time. The dry down is intense incense and benzoin which stays with you for hours & hours & hours. I’m not really sure if I like it yet. It does remind me of something, but I haven’t been able to put my finger (or nose) on it.

17 years ago

Too funny!

Half the time I’m a :-b, and even when I’m a >:) o-+ , I generally strive to avoid the lizard, I’m always glad to get confirmation to not waste my time.

Maybe this name translates to “Noodge Balm”?

17 years ago
Reply to  March

Zoiks. Hate that. >:p

Melissa
17 years ago

I have never met an Eau d’Italie that did anything for me, so I am not very surprised by your review of the fragrance. On the other hand, with the reminder of Right Said Fred’s wonderful lyrics echoing through my head, I immediately opened iTunes to make sure that I still have that hoot of a song in my library! (Yes, it’s still there!) :))

17 years ago

my reply above was to Lee , I am referring to your bottle of Bois d’Ombrie . Sorry for the mispost .

17 years ago

my friend Christen jst might be interesred . I will ask her and put you together .

17 years ago

LOL…you haved cooled my desire to sniff this one , March.
The song never fails to make me guffaw and spit tacks !!

Silvia
17 years ago

You are one funny lady March ! During our brief encounter, Mr Baume was very polite to me: wore an old coat that smelled of wood and mothballs and spoke to me of Christmas, warmth and hot drinks. Would like to meet him again !!!

Silvia
17 years ago
Reply to  March

Hehehehe, not the choc patch monster, not in a million years ! Should have qualified mothballs: not the original camphor type, but the expensive spicy cedar stuff that doesn’t stink as much but still lingers forever on clothes.

Francesca
17 years ago

Too funny! I was just reading about this yesterday, after being intrigued by the name, and wondering, How do I get to smell this?

I still want to, but maybe in a different way, now.

dinazad
17 years ago

Ahh, March, that’s too funny! I barely refrained from wetting my panties – thank you for a good laugh!

Lee
17 years ago

It does something very different to me, though it’s a something I don’t love. In fact, as much as I admire the top notes of all the Eau d’Italies, there’s something about the drydown of each that drives me potty. Yes, even you, Bois d’Ombrie, who I thought I loved, you whisky drinking, tweed jacket wearing intellectual, sitting nonchalantly in your wood panelled drawing room as you get me to stoke your fire… You’re tiring, I’ve realised.

Anyone know what I can do with nearly 100 ml of a very niche scent???:-?

17 years ago
Reply to  Lee

You could sell it to me! I haven’t tried Baume du Douge yet (and the orange sounds scary) but I love the rest of them except for the really dull fresh/aquatic Magnolia one. Well, perhaps I don’t exactly love Sienne a L”hiver, but the other three… Though my girlfriend wrinkled her nose and said my lovely Bois d’Ombrie smelled like “mouldy Swedish turnip”…

carmencanada
17 years ago

Don’t you think there ought to be some kind of moratorium on the use of the [orange+clove = pomander]formula? It’s getting to be so each time I smell it, I sigh “oh, YOU again”.
Which I would if I met cutie with the tiara, up there (I don’t mean the actual young man in the picture, but the character you created).

Mariannetm
17 years ago

Oww, haha, this is a perfect description for a perfume..!!
Thank you March, I feel all energized again so early in the morning on a monday 🙂 😀 😀

Louise
17 years ago

Ach, too true, March =))

Having a bit of attraction to Lounge Lizards, Baume drew me in for, oh, about 24 minutes. The “unroooooling” of the scent was most definitely in clear-cut stages, with the middle spicy stage (after the orange relaxed) rather nice. I hear there’s a nice myrhh thing on drydown for others, but it all went dull and then *poof*, and it was all over /:) Lousy b*tard, I was led on and let down 😐

It seems that there’s been a spate of Arabie cousins around this fall-Aziyade, Baume, maybe even El Attarine (thich I love), but all except the SL have sent me running back to my dear Arabie.

17 years ago
Reply to  March

And isn’t that the story with so many of them…….;))

xo>-)

bryan
17 years ago

I think I dated that tool.
:d