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    Dithering and Deferral

    November 06, 2008

    bhutan-2.jpg

    Do you put off buying things for no good reason other than you can? Or do you just buy on impulse? I used to be the total buy on impulse type, but slowly I´ve been a-changing and now, well, now, I procrastinate.

     

    Let me tell you what I´m procrastinating over at the moment. I have a series of electronic post-its on my laptop, some of which have been there a couple of years. On one, there´s an everchanging list of scents to buy/try´. They merge into each other, normally because the ones that get on there are sound like me´ numbers that I read about at Now Smell This or elsewhere, before they´re launched, or ones that I´ve had decants of and know I love. I hold off nowadays because I´ve made mistakes from love in the past – perfumes that first smile and caress, but over the slow accretion of time, their lips curl, a few short-tempered words get spoken and soon we avoid each other cuz we no longer match. Oh, huge bottle of Bois d´Ombrie, I´m talking about you. I loved you, but now I can´t wear you. Our time together´s become stifling, and you´ve told me I´m too frivolous one too many times.

     

    bhutan.jpg

    There are 11 on the buy/try list. A handful need crossing out because I´ve tried them and they´re not me. I´m not good at removing, only adding. Dans tes Bras was a crushing disappointment to me – an unbearable blending of some CB I hate Perfume earth accord with powdered violets and the smell stale skin – but I´ve yet to remove that. Likewise Baume de Doge which reminded me of Noir Epices with all the airy spaces filled in. Ormonde Man I keep changing on – sometimes seduced, other times afraid the drydown will be another stifler on me. It´s a serious scent – no? – and I like a bit of silly or lusty in mine as a rule. Though the news I read somewhere that Linda Pilkington is making another men´s scent has me pretty fired up.

     

    But there are two that are definite buys. One is l´Artisan´s Dzongkha. My decant ran out months ago, and every once in a while I have to sniff this to remember the malt whisky fairy tale of how Laphroaig can transform itself into a pensive incense laden cadence in which iris chills and thrills. It has neither silly or lusty qualities, and so runs counter to the false rule I set for myself in the last paragraph, but no matter. To me, it´s Duchaufour´s best scent, balancing the austere, transparent and smoky qualities of so much of his work, without any of the sour pickles quality of the others. I used to lust for Timbuktu, but that shouts too much in comparison. I need a bottle. And now.

     

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    The other is el Attarine. Yes, it´s a rehash of the oriental formula. Yes, some people claim it´s all cumin and curry. And others stock up on Colgate to ward off the sweetness. Elsewhere, individuals state it smells like a humid night of wild sex with a person who possibly hasn’t bathed in weeks´ (the fun sounding Therese108 on MUA) or all about potent sweet roses, spices, and dried fruit´ (the reliable and prolific Vibert of Basenotes – though I have to say the sweet roses escape me completely – and I don´t do roses comfortably in perfume). But it could be all those things, and more or less, as it shifts and finds new facets for different wearers. I never noticed its sweatiness until Patty pointed it out and now it feels thick with human and fleshy aspects, which battle against the waxy, wooded qualities borrowed from the Bois series. And it´s fruity, but sepia hued, tinted with the past, nostalgic for the heat of summers long gone. I´m in Paris – all too briefly – in December. I´ll nab it then.

     

    Tell me how you deal with purchases. Defer? Delay? Dither? Or just acquire and hope not to misfire?

     

    Pictures come from the crowning of the new King of Bhutan yesterday. I need that Dzongkha, even if its colours are muted greys and greens rather than the unreal vibrancy of Bhutanese ceremony. Look at those  boots!

     bhutan-4.jpg


    LeeLee

    I’m Too Sexy For My Shirt

    October 19, 2008

    random.jpg

    (Notes for Eau d’Italie Baume du Doge: sweet orange, bergamot, cinnamon, coriander, cardamom, fennel, black pepper, myrrh, frankincense, clove, cedar, saffron, vetiver, vanilla, benzoin)

     (Cue the background music: Right Said Fred’s immortal lyrics…)

    I´m too sexy for my shirt too sexy for my shirt
    So sexy it hurts
    And I´m too sexy for Milan too sexy for Milan
    New York and Japan
    And I´m too sexy for your party
    Too sexy for your party
    No way I´m disco dancing…

    If I had a conversation with Eau d´Italie Baume du Doge, it would sound something like this:

    Baume du Doge: Hey, sweet thing.  Howzit goin´?

    March:  Uh … fine, thanks.

    BdD: You can call me Da Bomb, girlie.  Da … bomb.  Heh heh.  Get it?  Hey, hand me that ashtray, willya?

    March: Sure – hey, I´m—

    BdD: That´s great, sweet lips.  So, you come here often?

    March:  Not really—

    BdD:  I smell good, yeah?  You smell me?  Nice, huh?  Quality.  That´s what I´m saying.  I´m a quality guy.  No cheap shit on me, ya know?   Check it – that orange.  It´s big, yeah?  You like it?  You like a big orange?  Girls always tellin´ me my orange is huge!

    March:  Look—

    BdD:  I know, I know, ladies loooove the orange!  And how bout those spices!  Those are something.  Got some big ol´ spices goin´ on there.

    March:  Big orange.  Big spices, yes.

    BdD:  My clove!  My cedar!!   Baby, check out my WOOD!!!!  That´s some huge, spicy orange wood right there!!  Lean on in.  Lean in and smell the wood!  I´m tellin´ you!   Qual-it-tee stuff right here!

    March:  No offense, but … I´m just not that into you.  I mean, you hit all the right notes.  You look good on paper.  But in person, you´re annoying.  There´s no subtlety.  There´s a big fat pepper-mill opening, then a spicy orange … Even the frankenmyrrh drydown is a disappointment.  There´s some benzoin there, but it´s so muddy!   I didn´t like Sienne l´Hiver either, and you might even be worse.  Why does Bertrand Duchaufour do such dank scents occasionally?   You smell a clove-studded orange left in the trunk of my car a little too long.  

    BdD:  Studly orange!!!  That´s me, baby, thanks for appreciating my finer qualities.  I am STUDLY.

    March:  … you are a hot mess, you know that?

    BdD:  HAWT!!!!  Say, you want to rooolll like an orange with me?  Get it?  Get it?  Roooollll????

    March:  Waiter, could you please call me a taxi?

    BdD:  My place or yours?

    March:  Go away already, you pimped-out pomander.

    BdD:  But baby—

    March:  Scram!  Adios!!   SHOO!!!!!   

    image: random guy who popped up I think when I googled “lounge lizard” and I hope he doesn’t run across his image here and leave me hate-spam.  I wonder why he’s wearing that thing on his head? Also, anyone with an iPod should have I’m Too Sexy on there, and if you can listen to it without laughing out loud and/or vogue-ing your way through it, you are made of sterner stuff than I am.

    PS You nail polish nuts, please drop by my post from yesterday and advise me.


    MarchMarch

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