Consumed

This isn’t the post I’d planned, but it’s the one you’re getting.

After Louise left Paris, Angie and I spent a fair amount of time on our long walks those last few days talking about what we were bringing home from the trip.  And by “bringing home,” we meant ideas, new points of view or reference – those sorts of intangibles that can extend the joy of a vacation forward (and onward) into the lives we lead regularly.  I talked, I think, mainly about my garden – which I’d pulled out right before the trip.  Don’t worry, ecstatic green-thumb neighbors came over at my listserv invitation and dug the shrubs and plants up and took them.  Now I’m left with mostly nothing out front and various ideas about how it might become more formal, more restrained.

I only bought one perfume as a token of the trip – from the Parfums de Nicolai store on the Rue Grenelle near the Bon Marche, and I recommend this as a must-do for anyone who wants to drink deep from the chalice of PdN.  I think Louise and Angela both made purchases, and the extremely knowledgeable and gracious sales associate (Rebecca? Deborah?) was a joy to spend an hour with.  Anyhow, I bought the last-ish bottle of their discontinued LE parfum d’ambience called Parfum de Fete, about which I know nothing except that it’s going to be reissued as part of their regular room spray collection, with a different name (perhaps to avoid being confused with Temps d’Une Fete).  On me – yes, of course I’m wearing it on my skin – it’s all warm pipe smoke and honey, drying down to honey honey honey, with a  spice-wood note like that of CdG Palisander bringing some good cheer along for the ride.   I also put on Odalisque in the shop as a joke; it seemed so very much not me with all of its muguet-soap top fading to a powdery floral, and kill.me.now (notes: LOTV, jasmine, iris).  Only fate laughs at me for the fool that I am, and I can’t stop thinking about the drydown, sweet candied jasmine with a hint of skank; it’s the only non-purchase I regret.  But that’s remedied easily enough online here in the U.S., and PdN makes those great small bottles.

But I won’t be buying Odalisque, not this week.  Because events collided oddly.  I wanted so much to hold on to that wonderful sense of peace and place I bring home from a vacation.  Time stepping out of my “normal” life is clearly part of maintaining my sanity.  But bit by bit it was slipping away, back into Angry Suburban Idiot Mom mode – plus there was Hecate with her intractable night-time cough; and my brief but nasty personal bout of what I think was food poisoning last weekend.  And the dog, our sub-standard poodle, Kai, who’s sick with something and the vet’s not sure and he’s 11 and … well, you never know.  I, who complain sometimes about that damn dog breathing my air, have been getting up every night with him, on my knees in front of him, holding a small bowl so he’ll drink some chicken broth.  I don’t know.  He seems a little better.  He kept some soup down today, but he’s weak.  Nobody’s getting enough sleep.  The Big Cheese is leaving for China on Thursday for an extended trip, and you know what?  I don’t have dog dies scheduled anywhere on my calendar, so he better not.  No freaking way.  No dying.

So then I pitched a fit – one of those crap-related fits about the creeping loads of crap that pile up all over the house, I hate disorder (yeah, which is why I had four kids, deep thinker that I am) – piles and drifts of clothes and plastic and toy parts and we did a purge and still.  It drifts in.  So I started this conversation on FaceBook and I’m bringing it on here and laying it down.  You don’t have to pick it up if you don’t want to, it’s my little experiment.  But if you want to play – starting today, Wednesday, for the next week you will limit your purchases to only the most basic necessities  — and no b.s.’ing yourself about what a “necessity” is. I’m talking simple food (no, you don’t need the $5 pint of kiwi-mango gelato), gas, stuff like that.  No mall runs, emergency lipstick, drunken eBay bids on Dioressence extrait at 1 a.m. – no Starbucks, people!   No movies!   You can go ahead and do things you’ve already bought tickets for, but no goodies at halftime (or intermission.)  No online shopping.  No no no. Ask yourself, when your eye/heart starts to drift: do I really need that?  And then back away.

Can I do this for a week?  Eh.  I’m not sure.  But I’m curious enough to try.  I need more possessions like I need a third eye.  So far I got through today with nothing more than taking Hecate (finally) to the pediatrician about the Nighttime Cough From Hell, which will abate eventually whether we do anything or not, our annual springtime allergy ritual.  Turned down therapeutic coffee at Sbux (sad face).  Stayed off eBay.  Worked.  Also I thought I’d up the ante by quitting drinking coffee altogether, I haven’t had any since the Saturday food poisoning episode.  I’ve had this massively irregular heartbeat recently, and I’m wondering if all the Sudafed/caffeine’s the culprit.  (Filed under: duh.) Let’s find out.  Sure, it’ll be miserable, but I’m like that – why not take away the coffee, decongestant, booze (yes, it’s true!) and retail therapy all at the same time? Maybe my head will cave in and life as I know it will be over, but I doubt it.

So.  Your turn at the microphone.  Are you going to join in, and check back with us next week on how your Week of Consumer Abstinence went?  Patty’s accepted my challenge, she’s playing as well, and we’ll blog on it!  Do you think I am an idiot?  A killjoy?  Do you have specific questions for us to debate (or possibly mock) regarding what constitutes a necessity in your world?   What’s your favorite Parfums de Nicolai scent, anyway?  Is Odalisque really All That?  What is wrong with me that after several attempts I have failed to fall in love properly with PdN Sacrebleu – some glitch in the planetary alignment?   Do you feel consumed by the desire to consume?  And PS – yeah, I know, I hardly invented this concept.  Oh!  I should mention that the straw that put the camel’s MasterCard on temporary lockdown was my sitting down last night, a quiet time-out in the living room post-snit, and reading an article in the Sunday NY Times about Annie Leonard and the (warning! anti-consumerist!) Story of Stuff.

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16 years ago

Hang in there!
I enthusiastically support your efforts to stop shopping for at least a little while… It’s evident from your remarks and other such clues that do have perfumes enough to last you into the next decade, so you will not be too deprived.
In NYC we have Reverend Billy, who is the preacher of the Church of Stop Shopping (now renamed I see to the Church of Life After Shopping

Performance artists in the form of a gospel choir backing up a charismatic preacher in a white suit and Elvis pomp, going around doing interventions at Starbucks and Victoria’s Secret, and various other points of crowd contact like Times Square. He hasn’t approached the high end yet, but I’m waiting for that. I recall seeing some young ladies one summer witness the dramatic performance and they were so horrified at the very idea of discouraging shopping they were muttering about calling the police, and they were absolutely serious. Actually he has been thrown into jail numerous times.

Cheers to the doggie! They turn around and get better so suddenly sometimes with good care, so don’t despair!

pklagrange
16 years ago

March: you have really hit on something. I think it’s a great idea. I’m going the “one day at a time” and am going to start with a day of necessities – see if I can make it through tomorrow without any other purchases! Thanks for a great idea.

Good luck with your dog – we’ve been through your experience with two old dogs and we have another just entering old age. I’m thinking about you and hoping for the best (whatever that is for you).

pklagrange
16 years ago
Reply to  pklagrange

Not quite sure about the icon- I’m usually a smiley person!

tania
16 years ago

I guess that sounded a bit mean. I’m sorry, it wasn’t intentional, really. I’m just a bit depressed I guess, and the subject hit a nerve.
You know it’s bad when even choosing what perfume to wear holds no appeal! 😉

nozknoz
16 years ago
Reply to  tania

tania, I for one appreciate your speaking up and putting things in perspective. It is a scary time, and I hope you will keep putting one foot in front of the other to get through this. %%-

tania
16 years ago
Reply to  nozknoz

Thanks, nozknoz. Yes, it’s scary. But that’s what I’m trying to do, get through it. I have bad times, but hey, what doesn’t kill you, etc… 😉

16 years ago
Reply to  tania

Tania,

More of us have ‘been there’ than you might imagine – just hang in there and stay as positive as you can. Perfume – especially the stuff you already have – can be a great mood elevator, if you let it! I had 4 horrid years and my leetle stash of ‘stuff’ (esp. Mitsouko) got me through some pretty rough patches. Not quite out of the woods yet but I see the light through the trees – and my ‘stuff’ is still giving me a little lift!

xoxo >-)

tania
16 years ago
Reply to  Musette

Thanks Musette.

These lovely answers to my post have made me feel better!

Though I’ve been wearing my ‘stash’ less, I do still take comfort in having it. Especially the scents which help me sleep. And I will definitely try my favourites to lift my daytime mood – thanks for the suggestion! I swear, Mitsy is better than a gin and tonic, sometimes. And if I’m lucky enough to get interviewed for a job, I’ll choose something which makes me feel confident, like No. 19.

Hmmm, maybe I could have a perfume clearout, too. Sell some of my less favoured pretties to boost my finances a tad. Now there’s a thought…:-)

mary
16 years ago
Reply to  tania

Tania–I’ve been there too. Hang in there and take care.

tania
16 years ago
Reply to  mary

Thanks Mary!
I’m finding that people I talk to have often ‘been there’, and I take comfort in the fact that they survived intact.

mary
16 years ago
Reply to  tania

Intact and stronger. Someone, I think maybe “Big Mama” Thornton, said something like “I been rich and I been poor, and honey, rich is better!” But I know for a fact poor didn’t kill me. And I have yet to experience rich. But it is very pleasant to enjoy a nice perfume, whether it’s a little sample given away or purchased for a few dollars, and to find a nice vintage bottle of something like Shalimar or L’Heure Bleu tucked in the back of an antique store. The hobby can get expensive, but I am realizing I have always enjoyed perfume because it is relatively low cost, luxurious, deeply pleasurable, portable. Allows me to feel a little rich, even when I’m resolving to start cooking dried beans more often . . . :)>-

tania
16 years ago

I’m already doing it. I’ve been laid off, they paid me the govt. minimum severance, and the job market is scary bad right now.
It might be amusing to play at ‘basic necessities only’ for a week, but trust me, it’s no frakking fun at all when you have no choice…. 🙁

nozknoz
16 years ago

March, I just love that you put yourself out here and start these great conversations. ^:)^

I also started experiencing scary heart palpitations a couple of years ago, and since then I have progressively cut out unhealthy stuff, really focused on exercise and avoided some of the stress at work, and I feel much better. I don’t really buy much now, but I do need to tackle my apartment, which is just FULL of stuff due to a life of travel, etc. So I’m drawing inspiration from this discussion to keep moving forward – thank you March, and to all commenters, as well!

nozknoz
16 years ago
Reply to  nozknoz

Forgot to mention that I have PdN Nicolai pour Homme, a great lavender perfume that I like to sleep with sometimes. I’ve sampled a few others but can’t make up my mind about them. Planning to try Vie de Chateau.

Robin
16 years ago

Oh gracious. Long day, so very late to this conversation. And of course came here right after a little late night shopping at drugstore.com (necessities!!) and amazon.com (books — are books stuff? because they’re necessities too). So now I guess I will go watch the story of stuff while I wait for my boxes to come…

mary
16 years ago

OK March, game on! By coincidence, I’m in a similar place, thinking wise. I need to lose weight, clear clutter, save money, sleep better and calm down. So, I had been thinking I should ut out the white wine for a while (calories and sleep). Cut back on coffee(–if I have to give it up, that would not-be-pretty). I just scored my discounted bottles of Insolence and Jardin sur la Nil, so I am in fine fettle to swear off e-shopping for a while, and already got my summer bag and have plenty of shoes, so don’t need any of the that stuff. I’m on! Re allergies–I have found the neti pot very helpful, but will say no more– it isn’t everyone’s solution, just really helped with my allergy symptoms. Re Odalisque–oh yeah. It’s all that. My little sample is empty, but I keep sniffing it like Al Pacino in the final scene of Scarface. But, I do love Sacrebleu. De Nicolai is a genius. Take care–thanks for the inspiration top do what I know I need to do–:d

carter
16 years ago
Reply to  mary

Oh, March knows her way (or should I say “nose?”) around a neti pot, dontcha March? As long as we’re purging here, why don’t you tell the folks about what you neti-purged last spring? =))

mary
16 years ago
Reply to  carter

Uh oh–Neti pot humor! Oh well– the other day here the pollenm index was so high, we were getting just a little oxygen along with our pollen and dust motes. And you will pry my neti pot from my cold dead hand, thank you very much!>:d< March--I meant also to say, re the dog-- our family's pet bunny rabbit passed away one afternoon last fall, on a day when my spouse was out of town with his dad in the hospital. The bunny's crisis came right at the moment when my son was screaming hysterically, claiming such severe constipation he could not possibly go to his piano lesson. So March, I know how you feel-- pets do sometimes add--so much --to life. Bunny was 9. It was his time. I still miss him. His old hutch and bunny toys are some of the things I am going to get rid of this weekend. Life goes on. ~o) I hope poodle recovers his strength, but you will weather it, come what may. (%)

mary
16 years ago
Reply to  March

Just wanted to tell somebody– I went online and had put samples of Orange Star and was about to try to get a sample of Like This– when I remembered–oops–no shopping. OK. Enjopy what I have. I went to look over my growing collection of fragrances. I have 18 bottles on top of my dresser. Then, there are bottle in the drawer, and two baskets downstairs. Lots of little minis, like an old Femme, LeDix and Deneuve, which I haven’t even really tried. Until last summer– I owned two or three bottles at one time, max. OK, I can live without OS and LT for a while longer. I would like, however, to follow through on my promise to send Patty some of the Gardenia de Chanel form the big bottle I found in the antique store a couple months ago– will send you some too so that way you will have something fun on its way in the mail, without buying anything! Need shipping address, though– 🙂

cathleen56
16 years ago

I think you may find that cutting out drinking before bed will have a positive effect on that irregular heartbeat.

I’m in — and this will be difficult for me because I’m going on a business trip starting next Monday, and that usually occasions a trip to a clothing store to pick up something new, either because things I already have are in the wash/at the cleaners, or I just wait till the last minute to put outfits together and really “need” something. Not this time! They’re just going to have to take me as I am in Arkansas!!!

Thanks for the challenge — I’ll report back.

16 years ago

Have many many things to say about the Stuff Diet and will come back and toss them atchall later.

But briefly addressing the Sudafed – many years ago, pre-motherhood, I started having irregular heartbeats one spring. My doctor finally diagnosed it as being the interaction between Sudafed and caffeine, so I’m not surprised that’s hit you hard. I had just moved to this area, and was really struggling with allergies. Eighteen years later, I’m used to these particular allergens in the air in spring, and I suffer a lot less. Even though the area I lived in before I got married was only 50 miles away, there was a considerable difference in the pollen mix, and it takes time to build up immunities. Thank God for Sudafed, I still live on it in the springtime.

16 years ago
Reply to  Mals86

Claritin does nuthin’ for me. I could go all Expensive Prescription (well, THESE days I can thanks to The CEO’s job), but why, when Sudafed works. Can’t take more than one pill at a time, though, or I feel awwwwful.

donanicola
16 years ago

Adding late bestest wishes to you, Hecate and the dog! When I realised my cat was very not well (a day from dying through undiagnosed diabetes)I spent a totally miserable and sleepless night so my sympathies on those feelings. I hope the Cheese comes home soon too for the support. I am bad at denying myself things be it food/wine/dark chocolate/cheese/coffee/tea/Nuit de Tubereuse, I just start wanting it all the more so I try to exercise restraint rather than outright denial. I also try to use everything I’ve got as a mark of respect for its origins I suppose. (There’s a great cookery book called Nose to Tail which deals with using all the animal’s carcasse once it’s been slaughtered for meat – same sort of idea). That might all sound like a cop out from joining you in your week’s abstinence and maybe it is but I thank you for making me think about it and put a half formed philosophy into words. Hm, PdN. I do love sacrebleu though I wear it about twice a year. Current favourite is Vie de Chateau – Diorella with tobacco and hay! Oh and that Parfum de fete is GORGeous. I got the lamp berger oil version – Miel and Frankinsense and it will make me insanely happy next winter. Good luck for your week, March!

donanicola
16 years ago
Reply to  donanicola

oh and by the way, the cat recovered – she’s still diabetic but not ill anymore, bless her.

maidenbliss
16 years ago

I’m surprised that nobody has mentioned the classic bit called Stuff by George Carlin. It’s absolutely hilarious, one of the funniest routines I’ve ever seen and so in keeping with this post. It would be worth it for you to check it out, March, with all that’s going on in your home. Sounds like you would appreciate some humor-especially from someone who’s talking your talk! (RIP) Sending prayers for Hecate and Kai and you as well. I’ve been wearing Maharadjah and Sacre Bleu, layering them yesterday to tame the sweetness of Sacre-it’s a bit overwhelming, but very pretty.
There is a growing subculture of people who’ve returned to a simpler way of life-I’m one of them. I believe Oprah did an article last year ? with interviews of several people. It was fascinating to realize that I had merged into a similar lifestyle: from everything I wanted to only what I really need. Living in a small town has made the transition much easier. I am still bringing things to Goodwill and will be for some time. Wine and coffee are necessities. :)>- No more B & N-hard habit to break, but I’m at the library every week. As to perfume purchasing I’m more disciplined than I once was. It seems like a chaotic time to pull back from your pleasures-you must like challenges much more than the average bear!:)>-

maidenbliss
16 years ago
Reply to  maidenbliss

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MvgN5gCuLac George Carlin “Stuff” =))=))=d>

16 years ago
Reply to  maidenbliss

Ah ha ha! I know this “stuff.” It’s some really good stuff, man. ;))

I’m all for simpler living…though it kinda makes me chuckle when Oprah goads people in that direction…which house of hers do you suppose is simpler? Don’t get me wrong; I think she means well. See my own comments about life in tension. Maybe she needs Really Big Cables in the various directions, because her public life is So Darn Big.

maidenbliss
16 years ago
Reply to  Shelley

Yes, O did an article featuring people who are back to the simple life-the pics, btw, were pretty cool. But I wasn’t fooled for a minute. Like O is going back to simple? Would you, if you had that much money? :d I wouldn’t know what to do with that kinda moola…or maybe I would. My altruism gene would kick in big time. With big bucks. As for GC–that clip says it all! =))

16 years ago

Life in balance for me generally translates into life in tension. In a positive sense, like in “just a little more tension on the left guide wire and that will hold up there wonderfully.”

Pulling from one direction: A love of William Morris’ credo, Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful.

Pulling from another: For decades, I was the only person in my family to find joy and history and a nearly tangible connection to other people through objects, whether precious or ephemera. So I ended up being the family warehouse, because everybody else thought it was ALL junk–and while some of it was, there was no filtering before it came to me. And I didn’t say no, because I was afraid of what would get thrown away. Like correspondence between my grandparents during WWII, or a receipt from my great-grandfather’s service station/general store, or another great-grandmother’s wedding dress. And a hideous pin someone wore but I find fascinating. (“Beautiful” and “useful” are somewhat mutable concepts, it turns out.)

Pulling from another: I love Zen-like clarity. And quiet places to land.

And another: Nothing makes me happy like a room stuffed with books and tschotckes.

So, between that, and the fluidity of life with children and pets and extended family in flux, “balance” is a process. Sometimes messy, sometimes visually calm. Rarely in every nook and cranny at once. Heck, rarely in 2/3 of the house at once. But I am always thinking about it. I started a BIG purge last fall, after a big life change, and it felt great. After many trips to Goodwill, I keep a box for good quality donations and give it away as soon as it is full.

As for “extras”…I see the benefit of your detox plan. I totally love “what you came home with”…that’s the ticket, as my Papa used to say. Whatever you need to do to be sure there is clarity enough to find the sense of peace, to access the ideas, to review and enjoy the memories as tangible gifts…I say it’s worth it.

Somebody up there…Tiara…brought up the other side of the equation, what it’s like for those who have no choice but to be constantly austere. Again, back to balance.

BTW, I have a project going on. It is called “Spending Enough Time With Friends.” Because my out-of-control thing seemed to become losing touch with relaxing and enjoying good company. So far, so good. (And I use that as my justification for this rather lengthy response to your post. 🙂 >:d< )

Sariah
16 years ago

Good food for thought. I especially like the “Story of Bottled Water”. I declared myself a tap water girl years ago. We are so lucky here to have tap water that’s clean and reliable – we should be grateful for it and use it.

Hope your doggy starts to feel better

Joe
16 years ago
Reply to  March

You made me laugh. I reuse the same disposable water bottle at work for six months before I get a new one to refill from the cooler. I have a friend who always jokes with me about the water thing like the kid-snack thing: what the HELL is the problem with people who can’t attend a half-hour meeting (much less a two-hour one) without a drink of water!!! It did NOT used to be like this.

CynthiaW
16 years ago
Reply to  Joe

It is kind of funny – but one of the things that I found when I started changing my diet is that many times what feels like hunger is actually dehydration. If you’re going to drink the requisite 64 ounces of fluid per day (more if you exercise) you’re going to have to drink pretty steadily. Plus, being dehydrated makes you feel tired too. I’m not as militant about it as some people, but I do carry water/Diet Coke/Fuze with me almost everywhere at work.

sariah
16 years ago
Reply to  March

Glad to hear it!

Disteza
16 years ago

Firstly: so sorry to hear that life is swinging back hard after such a nice vacation. You have my sympathies.
Limiting purchases to basic necessities happens in our house once a month–it’s called mortgage week! I’d love to join in, but this is a bad week as we’re taking off Friday to attend the Ft. Frederick market fair (the largest colonial shin-dig in the USA), specifically to stock up on some stuff, most of which will probably end up being tax-deductible business expenses. Ah, the perks of being a paid historical demonstrator! Alas, if you had announced this sooner, perhaps I might have had a chance at that vintage Narcisse Noir on eBay!

I’m probably the only other person who wasn’t particularly fond of PdN, I’ve tried a couple, and they were consistently too sweet on me. There is definitely cohesion between the various fumes in that line, so I can see how you’d be tempted to buy more than one if they worked for you.

grizzlesnort
16 years ago

The priest (and others)at our church lived on food stamps for a month and lived to tell about it. Hmmph. What was that about? He’s now going on a two month sabbatical. I’ve run marathons, given up caffeine and actually went on a diet once but not of these was sustainable as a long-term practice; well, I also gave up nicotine permanently, but you know what I mean. Once the novelty wears off, you go home. I love luxuries and one of my lessons to learn/remember is that they are just that,luxuries–not a fix, not therapy, etc. Less successful some days than others. I hope once your experiment is over, you will rejoice in going back to some things and also in not going back to others. AND I am delighted that you have a sub-standard poodle.

carter
16 years ago
Reply to  March

That is my philosophy persaktly. I am being serious, for once. It was a lifestyle imposed upon me when I moved to NYC due to the extremely limited space we have here, but it was my mother’s way of doing things and once I was forced to adopt it myself I really took to it quite easily. I went from owning well over 200 pairs of shoes when I lived in DC down to about 20 now, including sandals and running shoes.

I only keep what I love. If I fall out of love, I immediately sell it or donate it. I throw away makeup that I don’t regularly use. I do hoard perfumes, but basically only three: vintage Jolie Madame extrait, vintage Bandit extrait, and vintage Apres l’Ondee extrait. I can live with that. @};-

carter
16 years ago
Reply to  March

I really have my mother to thank; I think that the move just forced me to tap into something that was already there for a very long time. She lived in Japan when my father was in Korea during the war, and it had a profound influence on her. She had always been about quality over quantity, but that time in Japan not only enforced that principle but expanded it to include the concept of simplicity as the hallmark of elegance and beauty. Also a

deep respect for nature and the ways in which we incorporate it into our lives, whether through art, or fabrics, or beautiful papers and natural woods.

I don’t think that the Japan of today is the same as it was before WWII; in it’s obsession with all things American, it has lost so much of what made it so culturally unique and special.

carter
16 years ago
Reply to  carter

Just wanted to add that perhaps this is the very reason why the closing of Takashimya feels so much like a knife through the heart. I am in serious mourning.

Admin
16 years ago

Oh, yikes, so many things. Hope the doggies is okay. I can’t even think about my pets dying. I sometimes hate them so much, especially when the cats push my Balenciaga bag onto the floor so the bulldog can get ahold of it and start chewing (caught them on first attempt and about had a heart attack, but bags are fine).

I’m a one-woman economic stimulation machine, and I like it. Not because I like things, but I like finding things that sound interesting or useful. I give tons of stuff away, including my time, and I feel almost no guilt about it.

But there is an emotional component of consumerism that I want to spend some time with, and the only way to get there is to stop shopping for a while, get your arms around it and see what that is.

Not giving up wine/coffee/champagne. But I’m not buying any for the next week either! I’m cooking black beans and rice now, just no-frills cooking as well (this is easy because I love black beans, rice and some spicy sausage, yum!).

I think I’ll put a lot more miles on the treadmill and bike this next week. And can you take too many yoga classes a day?

Admin
16 years ago
Reply to  Patty

No.

Yoga is good.

Bulldog + Balenciaga is 😮

Glad it’s okay.

xo >-)

carter
16 years ago
Reply to  Patty

Dash ate a very intricate black-and-white suede Prada flat (just the one, dear) and I swear I was about to put him up for adoption, but a genius shoemaker here in town reconstructed the thing almost from scratch and saved not only the shoe, but the little turd’s neck.x(#:-s

Admin
16 years ago
Reply to  carter

Been there. With my Airedale. And a gorgeous, yet-to-be-worn yellow bootie (back when I could rock something like that).

I’m surprised you didn’t hear the scream in NY. This was back in ’85. Are you sure you didn’t hear it?

Then-boyfriend threw the pup in his crate, locked it…and then stood in front of it! to keep me from pulling that devil out and beating him senseless.

xoxo >-)

dleep
16 years ago

Best wishes for your little poochie and Hecate. You are a better person than I. I was trying to do no buy and called this year my year of living frugally. Well that didn’t work out too well. As for giving up coffee and wine, I just couldn’t do it. A nice steaming hot fresh cup of coffee is what gets me out of bed in the morning. Good luck to you and I will love reading about your progress.

Angela
16 years ago

I’ve got to hand it to you, March, you’re sure not the type to fall apart. Your life goes crazy, and you respond with a “battening down” regime. I guess one of the good parts of life when it isn’t going smoothly is that it really makes a person see what matters.

The day after I got home from Paris, I set out a couple of boxes and started filling them with things to go to Goodwill. I’d carried home the fresh perspective I’d gained from looking at so much, and I wanted to know that everything in my house was useful (and used regularly) and/or beautiful. I really had the same urge to pare down that it sounds like you’re feeling!

Starbucks, ebay, and take out aren’t my big temptation–thrift stores are. (How many etched crystal champagne glasses does a girl need, anyway?) I’ll give them up this week in solidarity. Plus, I want to know that for everything that comes in my house, at least one thing goes out.

Reply to  Angela

Angela, it’s interesting that both you and March have had a post-Paris paring-down reaction — March on a no-buy, you giving away things. I wonder why that is?

Admin
16 years ago
Reply to  March

You know what makes me want to purge? All the HGTV shows like House Hunters – especially when it’s here (v. HH International). Nearly every one of those shows has major storage issues – there are families of 4, looking at 3500sf homes, and THERE IS NOT ENOUGH STORAGE!

Which, after my 😮 causes me to look around and wonder….

…like my handbag ‘room’ 😕

xoxoo >-)

16 years ago

I’ve done the No-Buy, from a combination of financial necessity and infuriation at the constant bombardment of buybuybuy. It was a lot easier to stick to when I held in my mind the idea that I was saying a big fat %$&# you to various corporate beings who were trying to control my life. And then it got easier because it’s just easier. So thanks for the reminder, I’m going to re-commit.

I have a sample order of Nicolais on the way, she’s been on my radar a lot lately & I feel it’s time to make the acquaintance of the house.

As for Hecate’s cough — I cannot recommend highly enough OTC Mucinex. I LIVE on this stuff during my allergy season (fall) and it really helps with the post-nasal drip & coughing. It’s not an antihistamine, so no bad-speed reaction. I also swear by acupuncture & a regimen of Chinese herbs, but that’s not something everyone is into, I know.

16 years ago

Great post and sorry for your troubles (I sincerely hope everyone recovers in full swiftly!)

There is a kind of spiritual elegance in abstinence from consumerism. The never-ending hunt for material things always somehow strikes me as a need to fill personal voids or old traumata, which is not exactly how I could personally want my possessions to “ring”! Having said that I prefer to invest more in worthy, quality purchases than flimsy instant gratification things. It IS also a cultural thing, speaking as a European. We were never seeing hundreds of aquisitions with a positive eye: it seemed a bit suspect and superficial as in “nouveau riche”.

In perfumery terms, before the recent years’ craziness of hoarding for fear of major reformulations, my collection was a paradigm of restraint (even though I’m averse to throwing out things): scents I prized, which I genuinely loved, things that had sentimental value. Nothing else! Now stuff is overflowing the cupboards and wardrobes because some day they might be horribly disfigured like an old Hollywood star who has been under the knife too many times…How sad is that? 😕

I haven’t splurged on things too much recently as I am reaching an overboiling point. Plus testing so much stuff reaffirms there’s no need to. So that’s easy. Coffee and wine are indulgences and not necessities for me at least, so I want to keep them as is. ~o)

What’s really necessary, you ask: Health (you knnew that) and the freedom to lead one’s life the way one chooses. Neither is particularly easy. [-(

carter
16 years ago
Reply to  perfumeshrine

I would also venture to add that it is a distinctly Japanese point of view. Simple, elegant, beautiful, seasonal, precious.

Nava
16 years ago

Thank God I made that massive Shoppers Drug Mart run before you declared war on ancillary spending. The bad thing about Shoppers is that they have one of those points loyalty programs, and there’s $75 in my account burning a hole in my pocket. I will attempt to join you in this, but I make no promises; it’s tax season in this house and the living is not easy right now. Retail therapy sometimes works better than anti-anxiety meds. :d

Hang in there, March. 😡

16 years ago

“No ….., drunken eBay bids on Dioressence extrait at 1 a.m….” this is priceless!!

I’m definitely joining you for this week (but I’ll still be drinking home-brewed coffee)

16 years ago
Reply to  March

actually for me is the drunken blogger and FB postings!

I get that irregular heartbeat too sometimes – my doc says its part of the ‘change’ I’m going through. Sigh.

CynthiaW
16 years ago
Reply to  bloody frida

Ooh… that actually makes me feel better. I’ve cut down on caffeine, but I have noticed the racing heart beat while on the elliptical and was worried that I might have something wrong with me. Not that I’m thrilled about “the Change”, but that’s better than heart disease – and I would be thrilled if it was over, actually.

Cheryl
16 years ago

You can do it! (no stuff) But give up coffee? (not sure — WOW). There’s a reverse therapy as powerful as stuffgetting: Stuff getting rid of. A simple joy in throwing away some micro-object just for the purely evil reason I don’t want to pick it up off the carpet ever again. And think about where it should go. (Kids usually get a warning). The walk to the garbage can is serene and powerful. I figure we can get rid of 30% of our load without any one really noticing. And sitting outside for 20 minutes at this time of year is nice. Beautiful fresh air.

CynthiaW
16 years ago

I’m so glad – I love Austin. If I could pick up and move easily, I’d love to live in that area.

CynthiaW
16 years ago
Reply to  CynthiaW

Oops – I don’t know why this ended up here instead of up above, but it can be deleted since it makes no sense here.

CynthiaW
16 years ago
Reply to  March

It doesn’t seem quite so random down here now that we’ve been talking about moving and clearing out houses. I’d love to live in an apartment/condo again – in theory. Of course, then I remember all the problems we had with our horrible downstairs neighbor who liked to blast heavy metal at 3 a.m. – so, obviously, it would have to be much higher-class than the place we lived in when we first got married. And, we can’t move until we don’t have a big dog anymore. Of course, I’ll never talk the CEO into living in a condo or apartment again – where would he put his beloved grill and pit smoker?

16 years ago

After my parents died, and I had to clean out an enormous basement and upper floor with lots of closets crammed with crap, I swore I’d never live in a house with a basement, and that if our smallish house ever got too full of stuff to fit more, out the stuff would go. And I’ve pretty well kept to it. Right now I’m sorting through and getting rid of 15 years worth of tax backup, both mine and my parents, to be shredded. Taking clothing to the goodwill. Getting rid of cookbooks I’ve never used. Etc. I’d say our “Stuff Footprint” is pretty small, as we don’t have manically-consuming children, and I hate to shop. Of course there’s perfume, but that’s mostly decants and someone else’s castaways (fleabay). The DH is a little more difficult, especially as regards clothing that hasn’t fit him in 15 years (and never will again) but he’s improving. When I make my exit, I’d like to leave as little as possible behind.

But coffee? Nev-ah. One in the morning and sometimes one after lunch; gets me going and gives me a few minutes of peace while I drink it.

kathleen
16 years ago

Hear hear! I am in. We’ve just sold my mom’s house, and we’ll be going to NY to clear out 40 yrs of crap. Every cell in my body shrieks at the thought of this. An example of “stuff accumulation”, that will certainly aid in my not wanting to buy anything. The one thing, that every parent can do for their children, and I will say this loud, is, “THROW STUFF AWAY!”

Admin
16 years ago
Reply to  March

I did that when my mom passed and I remember my 😮 at the mountains of neatly packed tax stuff from 1957! (and on…. – she passed in 1985).

And the weirdest were the neatly packed plastic snap-top bags – but the bottoms weren’t sealed 😕

And the boxes of neatly washed, wrapped Mrs Butterworth bottles…

……I think I went home and threw out half my household after that!

xo >-)

Francesca
16 years ago
Reply to  kathleen

My mother thoughtfully did that after my father died. He had an entire drawer filled with check stubs dating back to 1942! So when she passed away, all I had to do was pack up her fancy cup and saucer collection, give the furniture to the neighbors and that was it. Thanks, Mom! 😡

CynthiaW
16 years ago
Reply to  kathleen

My mom adopted this strategy after having to clean out my grandmother’s apartment. She is distinctly anti-collection and anti-stuff now – I just need to get there myself. We have a relatively modest house and when I started thinking about buying a bigger one to have room for all our crap, I knew that I had to do something to get things under control. I don’t know that I’ll ever hit my mom’s standard – nothing new comes in until something old goes out, but I have to try. If nothing else, I want to be able to retire someday and I can’t do that if I keep buying stuff I don’t need.

DinaC
16 years ago

Great post, March. I’ll try not to write a book in response! I feel like I have so much to say…

First, sorry about the sick kiddo and even sicker dog. Sheesh. Why do these heavy loads have to hit us all at once?! And the Cheese going away, too. I’d be waving the white flag of surrender. I’m very allergic to cats and dogs, in spite of my affection for them, so we’re a no pet family. My DD has given me many, many guilt trips about this, so we finally broke down and let her get a hermit crab last month. It’s still living…so far.

I’ve seen that video, The Story of Stuff. It’s powerful, but there was one element in it which I disagreed with based on my own personal experience. We *don’t* throw tons of stuff away. We hand-down all of our kids’ clothing to younger cousins, give our old things to charities, etc., and give used electronics, TVs, old computer monitors to teens setting up their first apartments. The author makes it sound like we Americans just dump all of our used and outdated belongings in a landfill. Plus, I’ve still got clothing from twenty and thirty years ago that I wear. Not a lot, but a few classic pieces that are timeless and well made.

I’m not too much of an impulse shopper, but I do notice that if I am going to be tempted, whether it’s something small like a candy bar or big like a full bottle of perfume, it’s more likely to happen during PMS week. That’s the week of the month when I crave shopping and retail therapy. But even then I won’t let myself buy something unless I totally love it and can afford it.

I find clutter overwhelming, too. I’m a neatnic by nature, but papers and books are the things that rage out of control in my areas. My kids are pack rats when it comes to all kinds of things: papers, art projects, junky happy meal toys, and out-and-out trash like candy wrappers, etc. littering their rooms. Hello! Use the trash can please! That’s why you have one! Ugh!

As for caffeine and wine, I don’t indulge very much in either because of my migraines and the meds I take for them. I’m a tea drinker, and I enjoy decaf green tea — or green tea on the days when I feel like death warmed over. Alcohol is a special-occasion only kind of thing for me. I suggest weaning yourself off gradually to avoid caffeine-withdrawal headaches.

So far, I’ve only sampled Odalisque from PdN. Your blog made me want to try it again, and since I hadn’t applied anything yet this morning, that’s what I put on. Loving it. So very beautiful. I can’t really identify specific notes in this one. I just know that I really enjoy the blend. It smells like luxury to me.

I think I can handle your challenge. I’d like to try it. Thanks for letting me blather on! :”>

DinaC
16 years ago
Reply to  March

About once per quarter, we’ll clean my daughter’s bedroom kind of like the show “Clean Sweep” and purge out all the junk. It’s amazing how much trash we cart out. 8-|

Marsi
16 years ago

March, chez moi we call the no-spending gig “triple secret probation,” and we’re hardcore on it now. We’re a family of three (13-year-old son is our only child), and each of us has, literally, a $160 monthly allowance. It’s for movies, meals not cooked at home, snacks, Sbux visits with friends, and other non-essentials. We’ve been on triple secret probation for a month now, and we all talk about how much it’s changed the way we think about money and what we want versus need. It’s taught my son how to budget and think ahead to the end of the month. It’s taught me that all of those “little” purchases of $5 here, $10 there, really do add up to a lot. (And it’s taught my husband nothing because he came up with the whole caper!) And what I’ve observed is … I’m no worse for the wear. I plan my purchases, rule out a lot of them for their sheer excess, and end up buying very little. And … I’m fine. Better than fine, actually, because now I never feel guilty for spending money that I shouldn’t.

Everything that I now have is what I once coveted, feverishly. When I’m not obsessing about some other thing I think I want, I realize that all of that obsessive energy instead is directed to what I already have. And I love it more!

Silviafunkly
16 years ago
Reply to  Marsi

I love your “triple secret probation” scheme, very egalitarian. And directing my obsessive energy towards existing stuff is going to be my target from now on. Thanks Guru ! ^:)^

Daseined
16 years ago

I’ve never been much of one for retail therapy (raised by hippies) but there have definitely been a number of purchases of specialty foods/beverages/wines that have fallen under the Consolatory Consumerism category. I am currently on an exceptionally minimal consumerist diet due to an immobilizing surgery so I’d be cheating to say i had accepted your challenge as opposed to merely being housebound (and a poor student) but I will be playing along.

I can’t imagine what it’s like to come home to all that, especially with the added bonuses (boni?) of an absent husband/partner and sick beloved pet. After a trip to Paris last summer (which had its own complications) I found myself not four days back at work before I was eyein’ the cans of WhupAss in the cooler (someone started a fire in the WALK IN FRIDGE? And this is my problem why?!?) so you have all my wishes for
tranquility in the upcoming days and weeks. Whatever you can do to take unnecessary “stuff” out is likely to help. I look forward to reading about it in any case. :)>-

Admin
16 years ago
Reply to  Daseined

Fire + Walk-in Fridge? 😮

By its very nature, that is almost an oxymoron! (or whatever it is when two things shouldn’t be able to exist in the same sentence, as in ” I started a fire in the freezer” or “the icecream was rock-hard when I took it out of the 400o oven”.

;))

I’d have beaten them stupid, then asked them how they managed it!

xoxo >-)

Melissa
16 years ago

My first thought was “you must be kidding”, but the more I think about this, the easier I think that it will be. My house is relatively uncluttered, unless you count work materials. I tend to do most of my spending on fragrance and these days, I have been splitting bottles, or buying small decants, bringing the cost down to more manageable amounts. This will be the area of difficulty for me.

Clothes and shoes are usually planned shopping trips. I don’t deprive myself, but I don’t shop to manage my feelings. Impulse buys usually fall in the cosmetics category and I can resist.
Starbucks isn’t a regular haunt.

So, we’ll see how I do. I have a couple of perfume buys (partial bottles etc) in the works that I need to finalize. But, can I really resist starting others if I find a “great deal”?

As for the PdNs, Temps d’une Fête is my favorite. I tried to love Odalisque, but the LotV makes me step back from it. My relationship with it is ambivalent.

Silviafunkly
16 years ago

Hope your dog recovers, poor sausage.

I switched off my consumption in the past 10 days to compensate for my Paris bill (ouch). And I’ll need to continue for way over a week, I am afraid.

So far so good, I haven’t suffered, brought my lunch in from home and no after work shop detours. The Guerlain shop lady did call me to say that Attrape-Coeur was now available so I had to cave it for that since I had committed (in my mind part of the Paris expenditure anyway) and sponsored someone for a charity run, but that was it. I even went on a spend-free sniffage, happy to score a few samples.

Off to read “Story of stuff”.

I don’t really drink coffee, but wine for me is a necessity and if I quit it would pretty much signify the end of my social life and of my sanity. So I will join you but probably won’t be as hard core, since for me it will be a marathon and not a sprint.

And I need that Nuit de Tuberouse at some point.

Admin
16 years ago

I’m stunned. I read this, mentally ran through my purchases and found that 😮 – with the exception of a couple of splits/decants already on their way, I have bought little lately in the way of nonessentials. Of course, I am one who has 7 sets of china and 2 chests full of antique linens, etc and enough books to restock our little library here in town – but none of it is being used (no space and Waiting for Renovation). That is bad juju enough – I don’t need to bring even more stuff in here.

Plus, being broke for several years (and PISSED OFF ABOUT IT :-w in case y’all didn’t know 😉 really put the hurt on my lavish spending – and like Carter and others on here, I just no longer have the energy; how many more Mulberrys and Murrays do I need?

I’m also with Carter and Denyse – you might want to NOT give up both – and def not at the same time. It isn’t a great idea to go cold turkey on caffeine and wine is good for you, in moderation. Why not ‘moderate’ and have a glass from your existing cellar? I could not buy another bottle of wine for the next year, drink a bottle every night, and not run out. You might not be at that stage but I’ll bet you could have a glass or two a night and not have to go to the store for more.

My boys and I are praying for lovely Kai. You keep on taking the wonderful care of him that you always do – just remember what I said about his needs v. yours and make sure that you are putting him first, in whatever choices you need to make regarding his health and comfort.

I still struggle with PdN but find Odalisque to be the most wearable in terms of not sniffing my arm every couple of minutes, going ‘dang. what IS that note munking up an otherwise perfect scent’?

xoxo >-)

Admin
16 years ago
Reply to  March

Oh!

I think I, along with a whole buncho others, misunderstood.

Coffee Cut-out: check. Though I’m plumping for the Sudafed as the cause of heartrace/strokey feeling. BUt that’s just me. Sudafed and its ilk has nearly taken me out more than a couple of times, before I wised up and dumped it.

Wine and the eeeB: check. Since wine = |-) for me, I don’t suffer from that but I can see how it could become an issue.

Kailicious! < :-p xoxo >-)

Admin
16 years ago
Reply to  Musette

uh…. that was meant to be

<:-p

Leslie
16 years ago

Consumption. Huh. I have a smallish house (by local standards, at any rate) and the battle against disorder is endless. The topic of stuff has been on my mind lately as I’m working on my son’s room (paint, purge, new dressers, etc.). I’ve been trying to buy the “right” items to contain his stuff, and it’s been oddly difficult. Evidently, I’m too cheap to pay $25 for decorated cardboard boxes. At any rate, I need to pursue this project of buying stuff in order to contain and organize other stuff. (I know, it appears to be a logic fail.)

It’s an interesting exercise to try to keep purchases down to the ‘need’ level. I’m working in baby steps with the consumption issue. It’s taking me a while to modify my mind-set.

Favorite PdN: Vie de Chateau by default; it’s the the only one I’ve tried.

Leslie
16 years ago
Reply to  March

No, you aren’t terrible at all. I completely understand the inclination. Whether you can get *away* with it is another matter. 😉 I’m trying to think what kind of alternate parties I’ve heard about…there was one where everyone brought a gift (tagged girl or boy if necessary) and everyone received a package. Party accomplished, a gift for everyone, no serious pile of loot to contend with. Win!

Ann N.
16 years ago

Oops – as for the fave PdN, I’ve only tried the Vanille Tonka (hangs head in shame) and despite it sounding lovely, the lime in there was just too big a deal-breaker for me. But I am mightily resisting the urge to go sampling again …

Ann N.
16 years ago

Oh March, so sorry you’re having to experience the week(s) from hell. I’ll be sending good thoughts and prayers your way. Just take it one day (or even one hour) at a time, if you can.
I don’t drink coffee much at all and alcohol rarely, if ever, but retail therapy is my downfall. I indulge in perfume sampling and eBay way too much, so your challenge was a good heads-up and reminder that I don’t need any more and should enjoy what I already have.
Thanks and hang in there!

Koki2
16 years ago

Dog – we lost our 7yo dog last month to cancer, much too young and we’re still in active grief. Love up your dog as often as you can while he’s still there, it’s good for him and good for you too.

Stuff – Two years ago I quit my 6-figure corporate career here in DC to start a business off a table in my bedroom. Amazing how little I’ve missed the whole “stuff” thing. I’ll take time and sanity any day over stuff.

Admin
16 years ago
Reply to  Koki2

@};-

your baby’s up ‘there’, playing with all of mine (and all the rest – yes, ALL dogs go to heaven. It’s in the contract).

It takes awhile to get over the active grief. Georgie has been gone since late October and there are still moments…

,…..but mostly, it’s just wonderful memories.

xoxo >-)

ps. what kind of biz did you start? I quit my 6-fig for a machine shop startup – have yet to find time OR sanity…. :-w

Nancy C.
16 years ago

Maybe it’s a spring thing but I too have had the urge to push the reset button. Not to the point of giving up caffeine (oh the humanity!) but just not wanting to clutter up my life any more than it is. I feel for you about your dog. I got the opposite problem. A three month old Golden Retriever who is a massive ball of energy. It’s like having a toddler back in the house and believe me, those days have been long gone. #:-s

PdN is turning out to be my favorite niche house. I’m loving LTdF and have got a bottle of VdC coming today (hopefully). Sacrebleu didn’t seem to do anything for me but Odalisque is definitely on the wish list. After this last batch comes, I’m taking a perfume buying break for the summer. I need to enjoy what I’ve got. 😡 But I’m sure I’ll be making a list for September!

Francesca
16 years ago

Oh, gosh, March, I’m so sorry you have to deal with a sick child and a sick elderly dog and suburban mom burnout so soon after your lovely vacation. If ever.

I am a big believer in retail therapy and I was treating myself like crazy, using my broken vertebrae as an excuse. But taxes and expensive house repairs and yardwork have put the kibosh on too much spending for now. I had already come to the conclusion that I have Too Much Stuff (if only the DH, with his literally thousands of books, CDs and LPs would feel the same way), so of late most of my RT consisted of makeup and skin care. But I’ve got a good stash of those, Sniffa is in the past, and I think I can get through a week with only what I need, not just what I want (and thank Goddess I bought those theater tickets to see John Douglas Thompson last week!:&#100;).

I agree with everyone else on not going cold turkey on the coffee. OK, so you don’t need some fancy schmancy thing from Starbucks, but surely you have coffee at home. Wean yourself off caffeine by making it half decaf and gradually getting to full decaf. You don’t want the headache from hell on top of everything else.

As far as the Nicolaïs, I LOVE Temps d’une Fête. I thought it was just OK when I first got my samp, but now I am crazy for it. I thought Sacrebleu was interesting, but basically just ok when I got that, too. Will have to dig through my samps drawer to get that out again and give it another shot.

Sending you a big hug.

Elizabeth
16 years ago

The topic of Too Much Stuff has been explored and experimented with at my house. My DH and I agree that we must do something to make a change. And it isn’t easy, but maybe not as painful as we think. Dear March, don’t think about it as what you are giving up but as what you will gain: better control of your household budget, more time to focus on things that matter (relationships, pets, sunshine, gardening, whatever). Thanks for the link to The Story of Stuff. XOX

Erin T
16 years ago

Odalisque really is All That. That’s all I have to say.

Oops, except, hang in there, Kai! Pictures of that dog have wormed their way into my heart. He has such personality in your pics. Eat your chicken broth, fella.

Louise
16 years ago

Oh, dear-hugs for Hecate, and all you sleepless folks.

And especially crossed fingers for Kai-you know how I love that dog.

I’m mulling all this, Queen of Consumption that I am. I have yet to commit, but your challenge has sparked a good bit of evaluation.

I’d put my shopping in the comfort/assuage category for me, and also the “I’ve worked damn hard all these years for this freedom” slot. That said, I have been working on scaling back-though you may have found my Paris Purchases excessive, they were in fact all planned, with the exception of a few blouses and a lipstick. I buy decants these days, and have re-evaluated the need for any more bottles-partly because nothing blows me away anymore. And-I am indeed “shopping my shelves” as far as spring clothes.

Still, I think this suggested abstinence is important in really evaluating wants v. needs. And I’ve been looking at it more in the emotional realm-that is, what is a necessity v. a luxury, a need v. a want in our feelings and expectations of ourselves and loved ones? How do we meet one or the other? How do we deal with not getting a perceived need me? So, I’m swinging large on this.

I am not today jumping on the project-but reporting in next week will be fascinating.

Thanks, and hugs to the family 😡

Louise
16 years ago
Reply to  Louise

oh, fav PdN? I’d go with Vie de Chateau-though I wish I had the Eau Legere-all my PdNs are smelling “dense” and too sweet on me currently. I’ll spray with a very light hand today-perhaps Juste Une Reve?

Antje
16 years ago

All the best for this week March!

No kids or pets in my house, but man am I guilty of retail therapy in the health and beauty section. The only reason that my finances are still intact is that I got lucky with a good job and hate changing rooms (bright lights and mirrors all around are not a good combination for me). Hence my retail therapy is mostly restricted to perfume and cosmetics, less risk of getting depressed.

So although space and money are not yet an issue, my guilt about my ever growing collection is. Best evidence: when my non-perfume friends ask me how many bottles I have or how much I have spent on perfume in 2009, I wince and deflect. And the honest truth is, although I would love to say that I buy perfumes for the fragrances’ sake only, purchases can get equally triggered by having a difficult day.

Can’t fully commit to no eating/drinking out as I am pretty much only at home to sleep at the moment. However, I will try my best to stay of ebay and say goodbye to hazelnut lattes for a week.

Feeling anxious already;)

Fiordiligi
16 years ago

Very interesting and thought-provoking post. I suppose my life is nothing like yours as I have no children or animals, and here in the UK although consumerism is rampant it is still nothing like the US.

I am not giving up wine for anyone, sorry, and the coffee stays too, but I send you all my support to get through this latest phase.

Interestingly, and I suppose along similar lines, just recently I have been clearing out my clothes and shoes (many either unworn or barely worn and all of very high quality) and giving them to charity (and we don’t get a tax deduction over here for that!) and it is a very good feeling. I suppose at heart, despite my love of clothes, I’ve always wanted one of those early 90s minimalist wardrobes with six perfect white shirts and six pairs of navy trousers, or whatever. How simple life would be!

Oh, and I’m not giving up perfume. PdN has never really grabbed me though, which is a shame given her Guerlain connection. I always felt that I SHOULD love her stuff.

Joe
16 years ago

I swear, I love the topics you come up with sometimes. Really. Thank you.

I have a variation on your statement: “I need more possessions like I need a hole in the head.” And let me just say first off that I’m a dabbler in Buddhism, so the craving/aversion/acquisitiveness subject is frequently on my mind (and I get these Daily Dharma quotation thingies via email that make me reflect a little every day, and belong to several FB groups that pump out the babble to keep me mindful too).

So. Yeah. I try. And it’s a journey, not a destination. Progress, not perfection. And all that hoo hah. But I loooooooove spending me some money and I have hardly a penny saved. But I also like to think that I’m not tied to my stuff. Hahaha. You know, I had to evacuate my apartment in Nov. ’08 and May ’09 because there were raging fires in the hills, though I don’t think this place was in any imminent danger… and I got together a bunch of stuff to stash at friends’ places, but whatever I gathered up was just a fraction of my “stuff.” And a few times I thought, “You know, if it all goes up in ashes, would that be the most terrible thing?” And really, it wouldn’t, though I’m sure I’d lose it a little at the thought of some things being gone forever. But there’s that “you can’t take it with you” truth standing there tapping its toe behind us all the time, right?

So yeah, I’ll take your challenge. Except now I’m thinking I really want some take-out food tomorrow or Thursday night, dammit. Does this mean I can only eat what’s currently in my cupboards!? No garlic pork or steak burrito cravings? Hell, I’m broke until May 1 anyway, so this isn’t too hard. A bigger challenge would be to buy no new perfume (decants, samples, nada) for one month. It makes me have cold sweats, which means I probably need like hell to do it. Hmmmmm. Considering.

Finally, PdN: The one I’ve been craving a bottle of (even the small one) for awhile now is Maharanih. Orangey goodness. I also really like Balkis because it’s so damn thick, rosy, jammy, and outrageous with that coffee note in there. And you bloggers have made me nuts by divulging that there is/was a Balkis Light — and I was itching to bribe you or Angie (with my nonexistent funds and firstborn child) to mule me a bottle of it from Paris if you caught sight of it. Ah well. All things are impermanent… especially perfume.

Joe
16 years ago
Reply to  Joe

Oh, and looking over Carter’s comment reminded me that I forgot something: GIVE UP CAFFEINE??? Aw hellllz naw! I’d need to check into a sanitorium for a week or more to get over the withdrawal symptoms or someone (not me) would end up maimed. I hand it to you for trying though. I’m all for the French style of moderation when it comes to that stuff. Alcohol, caffeine, and butterfat = things without which life is not worth living.

Joe
16 years ago
Reply to  March

Pardon me. I have to break this ten-hour austerity experiment to rush off and buy a bottle of Balkis. See you later. Actually, I may wait until May… or I may just say hell with it and go sit on a cushion.

Louise
16 years ago
Reply to  March

Hon, Balkis Regular is available at LS and BH-but no trace of the Legere…I’ll keep working on that one :)>-

Louise
16 years ago
Reply to  March

I’m not sure…but it is still available online….but only for 3 more days :d/ Ha! There’s a test for you.
However, your emissary could get it for you, since you are currently abstinent…8-|

Louise
16 years ago
Reply to  Louise

sorry, “it” is the regular Balkis.

Joe
16 years ago
Reply to  Louise

Yeah, I have my eye on Beautyhabit. I usually keep my eye on things until they disappear from the website. Then I cry and call myself stupid. It’s quite fun. :((

March, I really feel for you about your dog. I know what it’s like, sweetie…
For Parfums de Nicolaï: the rue de Grenelle boutique SA is called Rebecca Veuillet-Gallot, and she *should* be knowledgeable, as she is the author of a perfume guide that’s had two print runs and is still available; she also worked at the Osmothèque. I cannot recommend visiting her more highly.

As for your challenge: well, my dear, that already how I live most of the time. At some point, acquiring new stuff just ceased to appeal as much as it did, and certain lifestyle adjustments meant I couldn’t indulge any longer. My apartment is bursting at the seams with *things*.
I think stopping the retail therapy can make people appreciate what they already own: if they don’t, maybe they can think about why those things aren’t bringing satisfaction. Or why more new things are needed to soothe the frustrations of daily life.
Even just from the point of view of perfume: not getting new ones will give people the time to delve into the beauties of what they’ve got. Sorry to come off all moralistic about it!

As for going cold turkey on coffee, I’m with Carter, I’m not sure it’s a good idea right now for you because of the withdrawal symptoms. With a sick kid and dog, you don’t want to go through that on top of everything else.

16 years ago
Reply to  March

Based on my time in France, I’d say it’s true. There isn’t a lot of space–you’re right. No closets means there’s less space to just hide stuff. And while quality seems to be going down, down, down over the past years (in general, I mean), the French still try to buy the best they can afford. Plus, with those prices–things aren’t cheap, certainly not like in America–it’d be doubly difficult to fill an apartment to the brim! But heh–if French girls are eating McDonalds, maybe they’re loading up the shopping carts at H&M too.

Reply to  March

Yes, there is a cliché abroad about Frenh women buying fewer, but better-quality items. Like all clichés it’s got some truth to it. French women as a rule tend to be less inclined to follow trends, and so buy more classic pieces, the type of stuff you don’t get fed up with before the end of the season. And possibly, because there is more enjoyment of the sensual pleasures of life — a good meal, a good wine, conversation with friends, the general beauty of city centres — there is less need to fill your life up with consumable stuff that’s the equivalent of a fast-food fix. Nice, but you feel both stuffed and empty afterwards.
Of course, now that all the Zaras and H&Ms have moved in along with the Starbucks, there’s more of a push to consume disposables, and possibly the younger girls feel it (I wouldn’t know, I don’t deal with teens).
As Catherine says, there’s also the closets issue, but I think it’s really more a cultural matter: the French are innately conservative and perhaps less acquisitive, with a good solid bourgeois sense of placing your money wisely.

Eric
16 years ago

Well, I’m a student, so I’m literally pinching every penny I can. I’m looking at little-to-no new perfume for quite awhile, despite my intense need for some Voyage d’Hermes for the summer. But I did give up Starbucks this month (one slip last Saturday but it was just a tall brew, which I paid for in change ;3) and it’s been really liberating. Those coffees really do build up after a time, even for someone who just gets boring ole black coffee.

I do sympathize about your dog. I’m not a big dog person (I like them but their medicine is more expensive than MINE!) but when I was a lot younger, my dog was not likely to make it (my father fed him a bone that would not pass). It was terribly sad. He made it, fortunately. In a spot of coincidence, we lived in China at the time!

I got a sample of Odalisque after I read so highly about it in The Guide and have to say, it’s not my favorite. It’s got this terrible oily, dark-green scent that just mucks everything up. It’s like industrial soap or something and it makes me sad.

CynthiaW
16 years ago

I’m going to try it – I’ve been thinking about this very issue a lot lately. I think mostly because: a. my poor house is bursting at the seams with stuff that I don’t use or need and I don’t have places to put it all. and b. my fragrance expenditures are out-of-control and I don’t need anything else – truly, I probably can’t even wear all the stuff I have in time I have left on this earth.

Not only that, but after traveling to downtown Houston yesterday for jury duty (I didn’t get picked), I realized (again, I’m slow) that I really have a great life – I have everything that I need material stuff-wise, great friends, a great husband, a great job, etc. etc. There is absolutely no reason for me to be stressed or angry – I’m not saying that I don’t have any problems, but compared to the vast majority of people in the world, they’re small potatoes.

So, I’m going to join you in the quest to consume less – although I’ve been losing weight and all bets are off if all my pants start falling off again. I don’t need much, but I do need pants that can’t fit a whole other person in them with me. I’d live in yoga pants until I reached my goal weight, but they frown on that at school. I’m thinking that I can last at least a week with the clothes I have though – I can always wear a skirt.

Eric
16 years ago
Reply to  CynthiaW

I knew I’d read someone else was from Houston awhile back but just could not remember who. So, greetings from down here in Sugar Land! 😀

CynthiaW
16 years ago
Reply to  Eric

I work in Sugar Land – which is probably what has started contributing to my feelings of wanting to stop over-consuming. Now, I realize that there are two parts to Sugar Land and the fact that I work in “new” Sugar Land is a contributing factor because I don’t think that the consumerism is the same in “old” Sugar Land. Kind of like the difference between the part of Katy that I live in and the new parts.

Silviafunkly
16 years ago
Reply to  CynthiaW

Been meaning to thank you for your great Austin tips ! We had a fab time.

CynthiaW
16 years ago
Reply to  Silviafunkly

I’m so glad – I love Austin. If I could pick up and move easily, I’d love to live in that area.

Graham
16 years ago
Reply to  CynthiaW

Would House of Pies on Kirby count as “necessity”???? I miss my H-Town. ’93/’94 Owls….

CynthiaW
16 years ago
Reply to  Graham

I’m just glad that I’m not closer to the House of Pies or I’d be as big as a house! Pie is awesome.

CynthiaW
16 years ago
Reply to  March

Thanks! Every time I think about falling off the wagon and going to the aforementioned House of Pies, I just think about having to buy new fat pants – because I gave them all away as a pre-emptive strike against regaining the weight.

CynthiaW
16 years ago
Reply to  March

#:-s Fortunately, it’s pretty far from where I live and inconvenient to get to – but it does have awesome pie. My sister makes a pilgrimage there every time she comes to town.

16 years ago
Reply to  CynthiaW

I just went to visit a certain someone and drove by a joint called…I kid you note…The Fried Pie Shack. My mind was blown.

16 years ago
Reply to  Shelley

(groaning….)

carter
16 years ago
Reply to  March

I could eat the whole damn shack. With ice cream.

carter
16 years ago
Reply to  March

But if they had named it “House of Necessary Pies” that would have been well within the rules.(~~)

carter
16 years ago
Reply to  March

Nicely done!^:)^

CynthiaW
16 years ago
Reply to  March

I’ve driven by Sonic three times without stopping for a Route 44 Diet Cherry Limeade – I forgot all about those when I made this pledge. Sigh.

Tiara
16 years ago

To be honest, we pretty much live like this most of the time. Purchases are planned in advance and made only if cash is available to pay off the credit card when cash can’t be used (such as online purchases). We’re debt free except for the house and plan to stay that way.

If you WANT to try this experiment that’s great, but hope you aren’t doing it because you feel guilty. I am familiar with “The Story of Stuff” and encourage you to take a look at the “other” side of the story. There is a series of critiques that offer an alternate view available on You Tube.

The PdNs I’ve tried just haven’t worked for me. Worked my way through a number of samples and none of them wowed me enough to purchase more or even try others.

And finally, I offer my sympathy for dealing with major allergies and a sick dog. And a husband out of town. Been there, done that, lived to tell but wouldn’t want to repeat.

That saying “old age isn’t for sissies?” Well, neither is motherhood.

carter
16 years ago

Why why why are you doing it all at once? Pick coffee OR wine to give up starting this week, not both. The caffeine withdrawal alone will give you a massive screaming headaches for at least a week, and do you really need to add that to the deprivation blues? Not to mention the ailing pet blues and the taking-care-of-the-whole-shebang-alone-without-the-Cheese blues? C’mon, March, be reasonable. Srsly.

I’m going to give it a try, because if Patty can do it, well, I rest my case. But I say that only because I’m not all that consumed with consuming these days (although I most definitely was when I was younger — I just don’t have the energy to shop anymore) and because I’m pretty well stocked when it comes to stuff that would cause undo pain and suffering to live without, including tickets to the Met, thank you very much. I’ll live without wine during intermission — I’ll just be sure to hit the bottle hard before I leave the house — but because of my bum hip a taxi ride home is not a luxury I can live without. I DO take the bus to get to Lincoln Center, but I’ll be damned if I’m taking one home again after sitting on my aching heiney for three-plus hours.

As for Sacrebleu, I don’t know what to tell you. Me, I lurve it to peeeces. Odalisque is my favorite PdN, but Sacrebleu is a close second, with Temps d’une Fete bringing up the pretty, pretty rear.

carter
16 years ago
Reply to  March

I have never been able to take Sudafed because of the heart-racing business. That right there could be the problem. Nowadays I use prescription-strength Nasalcrom because it does not enter the bloodstream, just works in the nasal passages. If things get bad I take Claritin, which is one of the very few antihistamines that doesn’t either knock me out or make me feel like I’m having a stroke.

carter
16 years ago
Reply to  carter

And you can just leave my groin out of it, thenk you — the squirrels are watching!=:)

carter
16 years ago
Reply to  March

Poor little Hecate, I’m glad to hear that something has helped a bit.

As you are well aware, March, the squirrels are everywhere: to the left, to the right, and looking up my skirt.8-| [-x If they don’t knock it off pretty soon I’m going to have to have one fashioned from tin foil, because the hat alone just isn’t cutting it.<):)

Joe
16 years ago
Reply to  carter

Just chiming in on the allergy front. I could never cope with taking Sudafed regularly — there’s a reason meth-heads buy (steal?) that stuff in bulk for their labs.

Claritin or Zyrtec on a daily basis, thankfully, work for me and prevent me from looking like I’ve been using cayenne eye drops. And yeah, those nasal sprays/Flonase/whatever are good too, but I’m lazy to get the doctor to represcribe.

CynthiaW
16 years ago
Reply to  March

Sudafed is bad, bad, bad – I used to take it all the time, except that I couldn’t take it for more than three days in a row without it keeping me up all night. Then, last year, I ended up in the emergency room with a blood pressure of 170/90 and the E.R. doc said that it was all because of the Sudafed and that I could never take it again – now I stick to nasal spray or a decongestant made for people with high blood pressure (even though I don’t have high blood pressure – unless I take Sudafed).

zeezee
16 years ago
Reply to  CynthiaW

I had to google this Sudafed you wot of (not marketed under that name round these parts), and :o… Step. Away. From. That. Stuff.

Re: antihistamin, I swear by a brand I happened upon in London and which seems to be exclusive to the UK anyway: Piriton. Active ingredient is chlorphenamine. Works at least as well as Zyrtec or other presciption drugs for me and gives me an excuse to toddle off to London once every year to boot. 🙂

Admin
16 years ago
Reply to  carter

Hey! I heard that, missy.

I have plenty of wine, drugs and coffee on hand, so my basic necessities are covered.

I can’t count the number of times I’ve closed my Amazon window today and yesterday.

But I can do this. I shop wily-nily anyway, an idea occurs to me – hey, don’t I need that cool-looking stemless champagne flute – and then I buy it, for no good reason. So it’s just shutting down the impulse for a while and trying not to jump out of my skin when I get antsy and going for a run instead.

I’d do that this morning, but they’re doing my AC (scheduled before this, and I’d far rather have canceled this 6k job) so i can’t go running until they’re done upstairs and I get through my conf call at noon. I need to burn off some energy, which is all my shopping is.

16 years ago
Reply to  carter

Joe chimed in about allergies. I, of course, shall bring up the libations.

One word: flask.

:d

carter
16 years ago
Reply to  Shelley

You snort booze for allergies? Yeah, right. That’s what they all say…:^o

violetnoir
16 years ago

Girl, my hat’s off to you! I am so stressed out right now between work, the house, a family matter that just won’t stop rearing it’s ugly head, my darling husband giving his no-nothing nephew $700. to pay off a driving infraction, a back muscle that I pulled in yoga, taking time to visit the chiropractor for the pulled muscle when I really need to be at work…I’m seriously thinking of indulging in some fragrant retail therapy before the week closes.

Hugs!

violetnoir
16 years ago
Reply to  March

You are the best, babe! Love you!