DO NOT PANIC, POSSE! March and Patty have not left us (leaving me to torture you in perpetuity). I’m just filling in here and there until they get their own stuff back on track. School, work, LIFE. You know. That stuff can really cut into blog-time!
They’ll be back shortly. In the meantime, I could really use the fabled Posse Input here:
This is just naasty.
I am embarrassed to be writing this but:
I am going to spend this glorious late-summer morning CLEANING OUT MY MAKEUP DRAWERS!
Note that I said ‘drawers’. Not one. Not three. Prolly more like 5 of those extruded-plastic drawer thingies you get at Home Depot, plus the 3 drawers on my side of the vanity PLUS the extra 5 drawer thingy in the linen closet….this is just ridiculous.
It’s not my fault, btw. I Blame the Lady R. She is my favorite SA in the Universe because, besides being a lovely person, she is also supremely generous with samples. For decades I bought Everything Beauty from her and came away with enough goodies to choke a Percheron, not that I would do that, as I love Percherons as you all know. When I was flush it was a fun little greedy-perk: crappy day? buy a lipstick, come away with a 3-lb bag of stuff. Gift With Purchase? Don’t get me started.
Then, when I moved to the country, got broke all of a sudden and could barely buy dog food, she kept me sane by just giving me stuff – I would stagger in, she would look at my pathetic, haggard face, ragged nails and ratty hair and before I knew it, she’s pressing a nicely tissued-up little bag o’ goodness into my hand and telling me to get the hell back to Cowtown and start making money. Never mind that I already had enough cosmetics to start my own little boutique – there’s just something about walking out with a little bag o’ stuff that made me think I just might survive. Then I got a little bit moneyfied again and the buy/get started anew.
At this point though, I’m way past diminishing returns. I could live to be 90 and never get through all this stuff. So I’m donating a lot of unused stuff and pitching as much used stuff as I can bear to part with.
But here’s the question: at what point does ‘unopened/unused’ become potentially icky and ‘used’ become ‘unusable’? I don’t want to donate old unused stuff and have some poor soul’s eyelids fall off. And I need some serious intervention if I’m going to pitch the used – I don’t think I’m much of a hoarder, except when it comes to cosmetics/treatment, which is kinda stupid – and probably unsafe. The SA’s answer is always suspect – after all, it’s their job to sell you new stuff – and if my dermatologist had his way I would throw it all out and use Dial soap and Vaseline or something. So I throw the questions to you, my dearests: Take loose powder, for instance. I have jars of Prescriptives Loose powder that are in shaker apps – since they don’t touch the skin (I shake it onto a brush), shouldn’t they be okay? I am assuming that there is a ‘use-by’ date for pressed powder, and I am sure those are now petri dishes of ookaliciousness. But when does the petri dish overflow? What if you only use something (not mascara – even I am not that crazy) once or twice, then throw it in a drawer and forget about it for a year? I’m a little more careful with liquid foundation – it’s always sponge apped and I tend to not let foundation languish ….. you know I’m lying…..okay!!!! I’m lying through my regularly changed toothbrush-using teeth! I have some Really Old Foundation. But it still smells okay – I figure there’s enough preservatives in this stuff to outlast the next Ice Age. But why on earth would I keep the L’Oreal I bought in Dallas on a sales trip NINE YEARS AGO ? I was late for a client dinner, had no foundation, drugstore on the way, you know the drill and…well..this stuff makes me look like one of the Recently Exhumed. Thank Floyd the restaurant was dimly lit. I lugged that crap through DFW and ORD and have packed and hauled it through 3 moves!!! A $7 bottle of ugly foundation.
What is wrong with me?
Am I really as gross as I think I sound here? In my defense I do wash my brushes regularly, I sharpen my eye and lip liners religiously and I do not use mascara beyond a month or two. I got into gel eyeliners and have taken the precaution of using disposable applicators (and never double-dipping – she says, crossing her fingers and hoping like heck she’s right). But a lipstick? C’mon. I remember using one of my mom’s old lipsticks waaaay after the fact and my lips are still on my face. I don’t share lippies without a slice and some alcohol – I love y’all but it’s a crazy world out there. So I think I’m as petri-free as I can get without straying into Howard Hughes territory… But I don’t need 24 of them. okay, 28. O-kay! 31! Sheesh. Ridiculous, I know, but most of them were GWP. The one thing I know I’ll have little trouble with is eyeshadow. I’m getting way too old for a lot of the colors I’ve hoarded, plus wearing glasses and bright eyeshadow just looks weird to me. And I need an eye infection like I need…an eye infection. So that’s an easy one. 10 pots of ‘vintage’ MUF, down the chute! Aiiiiyyy!
Do you guys have a standard ‘dump date’ for your cosmetics? Is your ‘use by’ date different for treatment? What about used v. unused? Do you still love me, even though I am possibly the ickiest person on the Posse?
photo: Fungus petri dish. Some rights reserved (this is NOT my makeup – I swear!!! really.)
stuff: alllll mine. ick.