Oooh! Before I forget: Winner of Honour Woman/Honour Man is ….lala! Contact me at evilauntieanitaATgmailDOTcom with your details. Thanks!
So….nothing really bad. Just stupid-bad. Smells are ‘off’. I’m recovering from whatever this nasty chestal thingamajig is, but it’s also my sinuses, which are almost totally short-circuited. Upshot of all of that weirdness? My cooking is off and smells have morphed into Bizarro World.
Made chicken noodle soup yesterday. What on earth was I thinking? I put enough red pepper in there to stoke a furnace! This soup will be a base for the next 6 batches of soup, it’s that spicy – and not in a good way. My tastebuds are gone because my nose is shot.
Which is probably a good thing…because…
I’ve been up since 2:45a. 120-lb Rottweiler. Bark! Bark! Bark! (pause) BARK! BARK! BARK! Got up, took him out. He peed. Laughed at me. Danced back inside.
BARK! BARK! BARK! 3:30a …locked him in his room but the longterm barking continued. Took him out again, 4:30a. Peed again. Bark! Bark! Bark!. Somewhere between 5a and 6:45a, when I did NOT get up to let him out, he was butt-sick all over his room. 120 lbs can produce a lot of sick. Soapy bleach water, 3 rinses and another bleach rinse. Smell is still there. Can’t tell if it’s in the room or in my nose. Hey! I thought my nose was shot! Now is not the time for it to recover.
I ground some dark espresso beans this morning and the base-grind (you know how, if you don’t shake the grinder the bottom is way more powdery than the top? Yeah, that)…anyway, I realized that the fine grind released a skunk-like scent. I’m aware of the skunky qualities inherent in a super-dark bean but …is it me or is there actual skunk in this batch?
Bacon. My favorite food group. Tastes like fat. Chocolate, my best friend in the world? Doesn’t taste like anything at all. At this rate I will be Kate Moss’s size by Christmas!
Consider: after de-sicking the boys’ room, mopping the kitchen (I’m buying stock in Clorox)…..yet ANOTHER pervasive smell….another dead mouse. How can something so small smell so bad? Found this one, luckily. NOT under the fridge like the other one. Put on my big-girl panties and picked it up myself. It’s not the dead body. It’s the taiiiiiiil. Ew. Interesting, though, that I picked it up by the taiiiil. Gah. The stink.
I am Smelled OUT! And it’s not even 8am! Time to regroup and try to salvage a Day of Disaster Smells!
So all the floors, walls, etc are washed, back end-washed dog is resting. I’m showered and de-ickified and totally not into anything other than peppermint tea and getting some customers attended to. But I did want to wear a fragrance that would beat back the bleach/dogsick smell and give me some sense of control over this totally out of control day. Work is piling up – gotta pull it together. Mitsouko was out of the question, the olfactory equivalent of firing an ICBM to kill a spider. These are garden-variety icks, not Real Trauma. Citrus didn’t seem right – I pulled out all my lemony/orangey stuff and…nah. Still too stench-y in here, which made Fresh Lemon Sugar smell like Scrubbing Bubbles. Ack!. Aldehydes were a migraine waiting to happen, so no Brillante, dammit. Incense only incensed my already roiling guts…..I settled on vintage Diorella because it’s so weird that it transcends all genres. It’s like the Moon Maiden Visits Jupiter. It’s green enough to cut through the “my house is a disaster but I’m workin’ on it” smell but strange enough to not attach itself to any particular olfactory memory. I will be able to wear this on another, less fraught day and not make any scent associations. Besides, Diorella associates with no one except, maybe, her stepsister Parfum de Therese. But I wasn’t willing to take a chance on her – don’t know her all that well. ‘rella has stomped all over dogsick before – she’s very reliable.
So…..now that I’ve thoroughly ooked you out with the skunk and mice and dogsick – here’s a question: when you are having the kind of day(s) I’m having, where things aren’t really serious but they stink – in a literal sense – what scents do you reach for ? Or do you go commando? I’d love to hear how others cope. If you like, I can have Pick hit ‘randomize’ on random.org for a little sample of vintage Diorella – hang on, he’s ringing his little bell again. I don’t think the Immodium has ‘taken’ yet. <sigh>. Okay, I’m back. If you guys want to share your Scents that fix those Nasty-Smelling Days I will have him wash his paws and he’ll pick a randomized winner for a sample of the vintage Diorella (houndstooth bottle). That’s the least I can do, since I probably put you off your breakfast with this
tail, erm, tale. Besides, it’s the Hollerday Season. I like giving!