A Shot Across the Bow

By March

I swear, I was over there just to grab some MAC wipes, my hand to God.  Because I’ve tried other things, including straight jojoba oil, and MAC wipes are the only things that can remove my dermatologist’s zinc-‘n-silicone sunscreen crap from my face.  I park under Bloomingdale’s, and they made me drink a triple-quadruped espresso on the way in, so this post might be over-caffeinated.  I’m setting it up in Drafts, and let’s see if Patty and Anita post it, or whether they delete it.

I asked the nice fragrance SA if I could smell anything “new,” new to me being anything in the last six months, so I’m way behind y’all.  I miss that part of my life so much, you don’t even know.  Anyhow, she trotted out Marc Jacobs’ Dot, which she described as “fresh” and “clean,” two friendly words that basically signal the kiss of death for me.

This photo does not do the bottle justice at all; it’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.  It also reinforces the belief that 90% of the cost of every new department store fragrance is in the marketing/bottle, and 10% in the juice itself, as an afterthought.  Only in this case I’d say 98% went to the marketing/bottle.  I’m not going to dignify this mess by looking up the notes.  I wouldn’t give this to my 10-year-old niece, she’s too sophisticated for it.  Marc Jacobs, your stuff used to be cool, your skeevy-ugly Juergen Teller photos aside.  Dude, you didn’t even phone this in — your phone was disconnected.

We moved on to the Ferragamo with the pink satin bow on it, which she wouldn’t spray for me.  So that must be pretty pathetic. I said, how about anything else?  She trotted out Valentina by Valentino, which Robin reviewed on Feb. 23, giving you an idea of how out-of-date I am.  I liked it far better than Robin did, mostly because for the first half hour on my skin it smells like a combination of crushed Necco wafers and the Gold Bond foot powder I use inside my dress pumps, and I mean that as a total compliment.  It’s not edgy enough for spokesmodel Freja Beha, for sure — google some images, but not from your cubicle, because Freja’s photos are NSFW.

Was there anything interesting to be found?  Sure — at Anthropologie.  I’m not buying their adorable vegan (pleather?) off-white cutout handbag for $200, fingers crossed it goes on sale.  The local store seems to have jettisoned most of its fragrance portfolio, leaving behind Ineke, Tocca, and a couple other stand-by’s like L’Aromarine.  I picked up Barr Company’s candle at random, and thought it was fun in a mildly cocoa-nutty way.  Then I tried the lotion, because the listed notes were “milk, oatmeal, vanilla, and vetiver.”  You know who you are, you milky-scent freaks.  It’s so great.  No Play-Doh, not too sweet, smells like … well, what it says.  Five hours later, I can’t stop sniffing the lotion on the back of my hand.  I think my moaning in the elevator scared the nice gentleman trapped in there with me.  I wish they’d stocked the perfume.

Also:  Anita, Patty and I and some other special Posse friends are planning on going to the fall Sniffa in NYC, just … because.  October 13-14, hope to see you there.  Drop a note in comments if you’re thinking about coming.

PS I bought another MAC lippie, which I need like a third eye.  My instructions to the SA: I have tons of bright MAC colors like Gaga and Russian Red, which require prep, powder, pencil, and precision; true nude makes me look like a corpse; I want a “natural” lipstick that covers my naturally purplish lips but applies like Chap-Stick, so I can put it on using the office elevator door for my mirror.  The SA, Joe, was totally unfazed, I can’t be any weirder than the rest of his clients.  I left with Modesty in a Cremesheen, and it’s exactly what I asked for.

 

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Tara C
14 years ago

I am sure it will be nuclear fruit salad bit I simply must have a bottle of that MJ Dot, since my beloved puppy girl’s name is Dot and the bottle is so cute. Heaven help me!

violetnoir
14 years ago

So happy to see your post, babe.

You know I loves ya!

Big hugs to you, March!

14 years ago

LOVED these reviews – what an awesome review of Valentina, and now I want to smell that Barr’s and see if it is, as you promise, no Play-Doh.

Will certainly be at the fall Sniffa and hope to see you all there (admiring you from afar or anear, as we used to say.)

Post more while caffeinated, I loved this!

nozknoz
14 years ago

I might be able to go to New York – not at all sure. I would definitely attend a DC sniffa!

14 years ago

Oh, thank God I’m not alone. I always thought the Juergen Teller campaigns for Marc Jacobs were so drab, grungy and, yes, totally skeevy, but Jacobs is so ridiculously popular that I thought maybe I was just not sophisticated enough to properly appreciate his aesthetic.

Aparatchick
14 years ago

Very, very tempted by Sniffa. I love NY that time of year, and hey, why not?

14 years ago

March, it’s good to see a post from you again!  I’d sooo love to meet you all at the NYC Sniffa, but I’ve already got house guests scheduled for that weekend.  It’d be great, if not as spectacular, to have a DC Sniffa sometime — I’d break all engagements to do that!

Editor
Tom
14 years ago

How much would I love to be there for the sniffa with you all. But unless something changes I can’t. Need to get a job..

HemlockSillage
14 years ago

Yay, March!  Great to see a post from you, even if you did have to brave bad perfume in a cute bottle.  I love your lipstick notes.  You’re the woman who hooked me on red lipstick, made me want to go brazen it out. I still love it. 

I would love to meet you all in NY at a Sniffa. I have no idea about how to sign up or details on where people stay.  A long time ago I visited a blog that I thought was home to the Sniffas, but I think it has moved/is out of comission. Sure sounds like great fun.  

Hope your new work is going well, and that you are enjoying it.  You are certainly missed here, but I completely understand that life takes precedence over ‘fumes. I surely enjoy the time I steal to pursue this fragrant obsession. This blog is pretty much guaranteed to bring a smile or an all out laugh daily. Be well.  

minette
14 years ago

you need your third eye, so CLEARLY you need that lipstick.

for an easy-to-apply-without-a-mirror-but-with-enough-color-to-make-me-look-alive lipstick, i use rimmel cherrylicious (seriously great color) and maybelline plumshine. i have more expensive lippies, but somehow these wind up getting used while the chanel and lipstick queen stay at home. go figure.

rosiegreen
14 years ago

*March , great to have you back. You caused me to bust out laughing with the aside to Marc Jacobs ‘ your phone was disconnected.’ Thanks for the lotion recommend, I may have to try it.

Austenfan
14 years ago

Lovely to see you here again. You are missed. But it’s good to hear that you are doing well.

I hope you all have great fun at the Sniffa. (A bit too far for me though.)

DinaC
14 years ago

*March! It’s great to hear from you! I would love it if we could schedule a DC sniffa sometime this fall. It’s been too long since we all got together. 🙂 I am taking note of the MAC Modesty Creamsheen, because you’ve steered me well in the past (NARS Hot wired lip lacquer and Chelsea Girls lip lacquer). The tote bag is adorable, but like most Anthro merch, way overpriced. I’m casually stalking a dress there that was so pretty on me. Wish I could head to NYC with you gals in October, but probably not. 🙂

maggiecat
14 years ago

*March is back!  Good to read you again!  Except now I have to go to Anthropologie and check out this Barr stuff since I (hangs head) love milk scents.  Best comfort scents in the world and perfect for cozy evenings.  I would love to come to Sniffa in October, but it’s a long shot financially.  But I’ll keep my fingers crossed.  I’m dying to attend one and since reading Alyssa’s book, I feel much better about my obsession…er, hobby.

Ann
14 years ago

Hi, sweet March! So wonderful to read you again! Enjoyed your sniffing session through the mall — thanks. Wish I could go to Sniffa, too, but DH may be out of a job in late September, so all non-essential expenditures are off, boo-hoo! Hope you and the kids are doing well and having a good summer so far. Need any tea? Give me a holler.  Hugs …

14 years ago

And again!

Anyway, its great to read you again, March! I love Modesty and also See Sheer (Lustre) from MAC. So easy and go with everything. Sounds like I should steer clear of ‘Dot’, which isnt really a hardship as I have never cared for anything from the line.

The Barr Company scent however has now piqued my interest  Is it anything like LannA’el?

I would love to go to a NY Sniffa but as I am UK bound for a while we NEED to arrange a London Sniffa! Jillie, Abyss, LadyMurasaki? what say you??

14 years ago

Well hello there Miz March! Nice to hear your voice again. And goodness they’ve set the dates for Sniffa early this year. *flips through calendar*

14 years ago

Hmm, I had to come in via the Dashboard in order to comment as the comment box is incomplete for me in both Safari, Mozilla, and Firefox! Argh – is it just me?

kathleen
14 years ago

I won’t be going to Sniffa but may be in town that weekend.   If so, I’ll send Anita a note and maybe we can run into each other.

Francesca B.
14 years ago

Ah, so we have dates for Sniffa now—well, I can’t very well give up the chance to see March and Patty again and to MEET ANITA! So I’m in.

Admin
14 years ago
Reply to  Francesca B.

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14 years ago

Wow March!!  So glad to hear from you!  Like Jillie, I am jealous of you and wish I could do Sniffa, but (sniff, sniff…okay that was admittedly a little lame 🙂 ) not possible due to family commitments (everything happens in October!).  

Well, remember anytime you miss that ocd fragrant part of your life,  we’re here for you!!  Love ya!

Admin
14 years ago

*That bag is GREAT!  For somewhere between $49-$70.  I just did a Wal-Mart (when did it change to “Walmart”?) Sniffa.  Let’s just say it’s way lower-brow (toebrow?) from yours.  Stay tuned.

I miss you on here.  Soooo glad you stopped by!!!

xoxoxo:Devil:

cerise
14 years ago

March — it’s been way too long since your last posts — it’s so refreshing to hear your “voice” again!  I would LOVE to go to the New York Sniffa, funds permitting!  I’d also love to see another DC Sniffa; it’s been like maybe five years since the last one and there’s plenty of sniffing to be had!  I remember you were loving my Chanel No. 22 that day — I’m down to the last 6 drops of it and then — well, who knows?  I’m certainly not going to go to the Chanel boutique to get it. If they’ve reformulated it like everything else, that would be a tragedy and I’d probably hate it anyway (yeah right, how could they mess it up THAT badly?).  However, I’m somewhat comforted by the fact that Coco Noir is on the horizon and I have a feeling this one’s gonna have my name on it.  If I’m not mistaken (and someone correct me if I am), it will be available at places other than the Chanel stores.  Hope all’s well, keep on writin’!!

14 years ago

Mac Lipglass in Lovechild is also an excellent my-lips-but-better color.  I’ve gone through umpteen tubes of it.

Jillie
14 years ago

So lovely to see you again, March!  I haven’t got anything interesting to say except that I am jealous of all you meeting up together.  Wish I could fly over and join you.  I will expect details of the fun time you had afterwards.  And then I will be even more jealous.

rosarita
14 years ago

*Hi, March! Cremesheen Modesty is a staple for me, love the color & formula. I have no patience for dept. stores, let alone their scents, and I have to drive an hour just to get to a particularly mediocre Macy’s, so… I did get a kick out of NST Angela’s week of drugstore perfume reviews; check them out if you haven’t had a chance. Hope things are going well for you and you’re having a nice summer  🙂