Off Topic: You Say It’s Your Birthday..

cakeWell, it’s not yet, since I’m writing this on Monday evening and yet it’s already happened since the dreaded day will have already passed as this posts. I’m not going to be Belle Poitrine and state that I am “frankly Forty” (and if you care about yourself at all you will click through and buy this life-changingly hilarious book by the author of Auntie Mame) since I am into the early digits of being f^&ing fifty.

It’s not that I am not thankful. I have relatively good health- nothing has fallen off recently. Best of all I have friends who care about me and prove it every day. I also have you Tonstant Weader, and you do more to buck me up than you’ll ever know. I even have a full head of hair, even if the grey in it can no longer be passed off as highlights.

So this basically is a big whinge while I’m wallowing in self-pity about being old and filling internets space that could have been about something worthwhile.

I’m wearing Bud Perfume “Ugly Bastard” because it just makes me smile. The idea of an Aussie “Ugly Bastard” showing up with this cake makes me think I’d even let him have a slice. In more ways than one.

What do wear when you need a grin?

Okay, here’s the Edit. Clearly on Monday I was in a foul mood. I have my reasons but I’m not going to bore you with them, since hey, Helen Keller managed to get over it, why shouldn’t I right? So the night before my birthday (my choice) some friends took me out to a delicious dinner and we had a great time chatting and just being our slightly goofy selves- cracking bad jokes and just being silly. The actual night of my birthday was a meeting of the Municipal League of BH on the Terrace of Greystone with nibbles and wine and seeing even more friends I’ve made over the years. It was absolutely lovely. My friend Terre and I ducked out early and went to Kate Mantilini for soup. It turned out to be a great birthday with good friends being good friends.

So I am 52 years old. Screw it. I’m not even going to try to color that grey hair..

Image of me at dinner in a meat coma by my friend Donna, who really is the best.

Image: recycled from Wikipedia

  • Happy Birthday to you, Tom. I am 58 and most all my hair is grey, but there are rewards that go with that. IE: beautiful grandkids and even a great grandson.. Enjoy it!

  • Dora says:

    Happy Birthday Tom and don`t worry, you look great, very handsome. Seems like you spent a wonderful evening with your friends and this is the most important, not forgetting the fact that you are healthy. Cheers 🙂

  • Lynne Marie says:

    Happy Birthday Tom! I think you’re doing just fine ( and I won’t even qualify that with a ” for your age” and why should I – we can be, do, and act any way we want at any age – it’s our decision !!!) I’m turning double nickels this year and am occasionally extremely bummed by it until I remember that the alternative to having a birthday is being dead. So I am planning a picnic in the woods with my lovely ( younger!!) husband and I intend to wear the biggest, baddest ballgown I have while grilling corn over the fire. Perfume that makes me grin? That would be Putain de Palaces, especially when people ask what I’m wearing and I toss off “oh this? Hotel Whore!”

  • Dina C. says:

    Happy Birthday Tom and best wishes for a great new year. (I always appreciate reading your posts — it’s great to hear a male perfumisto’s point of view.) You seem to have a strong network of supportive friends, good health, and a humorous attitude toward the ups and downs in life. I predict many happy years ahead! 😀 Scents that make me smile tend to be green and full of galbanum.

  • greennote2 says:

    Hey Tom, Happy Birthday!

    My grey hairs have been multiplying for a while. I wear them as a badge of honour – I reckon I earned every one of them. Each of them represents wisdom gained. And I love seeing other people wearing their wisdom proudly..

    Perfumes that make me smile – the ones that stretch the envelope and get away with it and are fun because of it: SL Borneo 1834, POTL Luctor et Emergo, CdG for Stephen Jones. I’m sure there are more but those spring to mind. Oh, Bal a Versailles for just being so gorgeous.

  • poodle says:

    Happy birthday! It sounds like you’re in good shape for the shape you’re in. My poor hubby turns 44 on Sunday and he would give anything for a head of hair like yours. His waves waved him goodbye many years ago. Age is just a number.

    • Tom says:

      Well, bald is pretty sexy. Captain Picard, you know. I think my dream guy would be a bald guy who was anomic. No poaching of perfume or shampoo..

  • tammytammy says:

    Don’t you dare, don’t you DARE, color that gorgeous hair. It is the epitome of sexy. You are glorious, the perfect age for a man. (says she who is 49) My husband has your coloring and ever since he started getting the grey, I can’t get enough of him. His eyes are the color of Jack in the Box straws, and that silver makes it even more stunning.

    You’re in your prime and you look it. I’m glad your day ended up being so fabulous, You deserve every bit of it!

  • Mimi G says:

    Well Tom , chin up – I know how birthdays feel past a certain age but you look so handsome and I LOVE your hair. C’mon now.
    I must give you birthday hugs and cheer. You look good ,dammit !
    I almost never comment but I read *ALL* your posts – today I had to comment and tell you how fine you are .
    Happy birthday Tom and I hope you have a wonderful year ahead . Love Mimi G XXX

  • Sherri says:

    You look great! Hope it is your best year so far!

  • fleurdelys says:

    You look great. Don’t change a thing. Happy birthday!

  • Musette says:

    Babydoll, if I had your hair I could rule the world! Every day above ground, even the sh*tty ones, is a gift. El O just turned 58 and on Sunday did his damndest, against some 70mph odds, to try to continue the trajectory towards 59 – luckily he succeeded. So embrace that gorgeous silver, embrace Greystone (one of my faves), embrace that Ugly Bastard with the cake!!! And next time in LA, I’ll embrace you! Again!!!

    HappyHappy Birthday, baby! Sho’ did treat you right!


    • Tom says:

      You are right darjeeling every day we’re nor not interred is a gift. I can’t wait for that re-embrace (preferably at Roscoe’s)

      Love you!

  • Portia says:

    You could be 100 and still look young and fun to me. Which of course you do, and ARE! I hope your birthday week has been super fabulous, looks like it was, and I’m sad that I couldn’t be there to spend it with you.
    I wear ASJA and smile thinking of our madcap fun time together in LA, I also wear the beautiful Strange Invisible perfumes and Madonna NAKED! and smile, and think of my mate Tom.
    Love you buster,
    Portia xx

  • rosarita says:

    Tom, you handsome guy, you look great and nowhere near 50. I’ll be hitting 54 this summer and while I’m not thrilled, hey, what can you do? As my 85 year old mother says, the parade only goes one way 🙂 Oh, yes – my sample of Neela Vermiere’s Bombay Bling is a smile maker, for sure; a decant needs to be in my future.

    • Tom says:

      Thanks! You’re right, the parade only goes one way, so you might as well enjoy it. Bombay Bling is a good way to do so!

  • Ann says:

    Wishing you a very happy belated birthday, Tom! Actually, I saw your post over on PST but just couldn’t manage to get my birthday wishes post as a comment (grrrr). Anyway, you look great! I’m a 50s baby, too, and most days I only feel about 35 or so, so I really do think it’s the old “mind over matter” thing and a good attitude matters! So enjoy your birthday week!

    • Tom says:


      Thanks! I feel about 35 too, but have indulged myself by acting about 12. I’m giving myself until midnight, then back to real life.

  • FeralJasmine says:

    Tom, I’m a couple of years older than you, and can honestly say that my early fifties have been the most wonderful part of my life so far. More loss as friends and family age, far more inner strength and ability to cope with loss, and a lot more ability to act on my inner convictions about the right path. I wear my grey hair proudly. I hope that you love your fifties! And I don’t know about you, but I sure as hell couldn’t afford good perfume when I was 20.

    • Tom says:

      What a lovely comment. Honestly, it took me out of myself and made me smile, which in and of itself is a great birthday present. Thank you.

  • CC ... says:

    Happy Birthday! May this year be a magical one! You grey hair is gorgeous 🙂

  • Martha says:

    Happy Birthday, Tom. Your grey hair is beautiful.

  • J says:

    Happy Birthday! I’m in the 50’s club too, and if I look as good in my 50’s as you do, then I’m doing very well. I like to think of 50’s as being the new 30’s – we don’t look it, we don’t feel it, and we are in much better health than people in their 50’s use to be. :):):)

  • Susie says:

    Tom – blue eyes plus gray/silver hair equals striking! It’s a combo that I find very attractive – I barely passed a comp lit class 30 something years ago thanks to professor with same look. I just sat and stared. You and I met at SIP. I’ll be 52 in September and love it! 50 down, 50 to go! Happy birthday!

  • Lisa D says:

    I think your grey hair is gorgeous – people pay good money for that kind of shine and curl, baby. 🙂 Happy happy happy wishes to you!

  • pklagrange says:

    Happy Birthday! I hope you come to love your 40’s – I find more freedom as I get older to move to my own beat! And wear really big perfumes!

    • Tom says:

      Actually it was nice- friends took me out the day before to a really nice dinner and the day of I went to an event at an old 20’s mansion and had a glass of wine and chatted with friends.

      BTW- I’m in my fifties.

  • jilliecat says:

    Happy birthday, belatedly, Tom. Wait till you are as old as I am ……. You look good (yes, I saw the photo that Portia posted), so you shouldn’t worry.

    Love the name of your frag – anything with a funny name tickles me. That’s why I like drinking a lovely Ozzie wine called Gnarly Dude, bathing with a gel called Knackered Cow and wearing Michael Germain’s Sexual (which seems so not me!).