‘back’. heh. see what I did there? back. haw.
Yeah, not funny at all. My back. Yikes! Let me tell you, the only thing weirder than this ‘episode’ was the gratitude with which I received other people’s tales of their back afflictions. Lying in bed for 8 days ….I felt like a mutant…then I learned that another friend had similar back issues so bad she ended up on a morphine drip! Funny how a broken leg? I get it. ….no problem! But a ‘bad back’ ? It takes awhile to comprehend just how staggering it can be. Well…..the stories mounted…friends telling me theirs were worse than kidney stones! Childbirth? Fuggedaboutit!! This kind of back/sciatica/leg-killer was worse than anything we’d ever experienced! I know there is much worse pain – but I’m profoundly grateful to not know what that is. This was a diamond on my personal Mohs scale, a Ghost Pepper on the Scoville….and I hope this remains the worst on my register, 4evah!
Anyway, 8 days…counting…I spent most of the time pretzeled up in pain, finally to the ER (oh, man, do those folks HATE a Musette! LOL! I am not a ‘patient’ -and when a SHRIEKIN’ SHRIKE, splayed across the backseat of a truck, asks for a gurney, don’t bring out a freakin’ wheelchair…GET A GURNEY!!! surprise: they got the gurney. stat!!)….we’re now at 11 days and, thanks to my reflexologist (yes, I live in a no-horse town. But our no-horse town has an amazing reflexologist. Go figure. Sometimes the Universe is just weird that way)…well, I’m typing this from a sitting position! I can walk in the house without much assistance and can walk for a block, now, with the aid of a cane. It’s not some elegant ebony ‘walking stick’, either – this is A Cane, one of those with the feet and I Don’t Care. I’d rather look weird than be splatzed on the sidewalk. Funny how things shift…
So…this happened right before my birthday, which segued into Thanksgiving. So I am going to give you a brief rundown of Birthday Joys and Giving Thanks. Next week I hope to get back to some reviews, including the gorgeous new cat-friendly home scent offerings from Agraria! But for now:
Ann’s charming Birthday post to me. Thank you!!!! I was panting with pain but that put a big ol’ pantin’ grin on my face.
Bedridden Birthday. El O helped me open my gifts the night before and well… I Amouaged to the MAX! Part of it was gifts from lovely friends , part of it gifts ‘to’ (heh – yeah, he doesn’t know he got me that Dia extrait. shhhh!). However, I couldn’t sample anything – pain’ll do that to ya. I just kinda looked at them and said ‘oh, nice’, then shrieked some more. My gifts mocked me from 3 feet away for 3 days. Interesting thing about back seizures: everything stops dead in its tracks. My house resembled Sleeping Beauty’s Shotgun Shack, with everything I’d been doing just left where it was, while the bed and shower became my world. I had a decant of Dia extrait on the nightstand, so wore that for 8 days – talk about First World Problems! LOL!
No cake. But since I didn’t die during this ordeal I figured I could have a do-over, once I am fully back on my feet. Then….CAKE! Maybe. I’m kinda liking the silhouette of 11 days of low-intake.
This painful ordeal distilled everything – and I mean EVERYTHING – into a microcosm. No whining about not being in Paris, this year I gave thanks for being able to sit on the commode. Among other things, I am grateful for the following:
1. Tina (who fixed my back) and Ultram (Tramedol Hcl), both without which I would probably be in a psych ward
2. My bfffe’s prescient early-birthday gift of a fully-loaded Kindle Fire HD. Sleep was connected to painkillers and reading was out of the question. Netflix is My New Best Friend. Couldn’t manage anything heavier but ‘Rosemary & Thyme’, ‘Miss Marple’?: I. Love. You. Add headphones and suddenly you’re in a whole other world. I treasure her beyond rubies, just for herself – but just thinking of a gift like this is the Oriental Circlet!
3. En-suite bathroom. When just getting out of bed takes 15 minutes – and you can’t control your bladder overmuch, a shorter crawl is a blessing.
4. (caution possible grossosity ahead): peeing in the shower. Apparently it is not the shocking thing I thought it was! LOL! Every single person to whom I confessed that it was the only way I could relieve/clean myself said ‘yeah? so? Everybody pees in the shower ‘. Who knew! well, at least 4x a day I was the cleanest broad in Wyoming.
5. Grab bars. When my dad came to live with us, El O installed a stud-mounted grab bar in the shower. Praise Floyd! I will NEVER be without one, ever again. Ditto hand-held shower attachment. Draw your own conclusions.
6. Clementines. Which I craved like Rapunzel’s mother craved rampion. I went through a bag a day. Wth? Since when did extreme pain translate to Clementine lust? Whatever – just glad the store had’ em! A bag a day. I am not kidding.
7. Vanity, thou art sooo weird: I got some Dia body lotion for my birthday. El O kindly opened it and left it on my nightstand. I would shower each time I had to pee so each time I would hobble back to bed, shrieking like a 3rd grade girl and shakily slicker on some lotion and spritz the extrait. And I would make sure I put Tarte Maracuja oil on my face so my eyelids wouldn’t fall off. I even managed to shave my pits one time when the pain allowed me more than the 3 min window before my back re-seized. I must be out of my mind. I was nearly insensate with pain…..but I worried about my PITS? Yeah. Priorities, dammit! I mark that down to my maw – remember the Clean Underwear Rule? Well my mother had a lot of time on her hands, was half-mad and was obsessed with the 60s -70s MD shows (Ben Casey, Dr Kildare, Marcus Welby, etc). I think she envisioned me having some TV-type accident and marrying some young MD who saaaaved me and my Clean Underwear. Something must’ve twisted in the intervening years, though – last week, all I could envision was this scene:
1960s ER, complete with white-capped nurse. Me, panting in pain, writhing on a gurney. The nurse begins to pull off my shirt so she can tap a vein for an IV. Suddenly, she recoils in horror!
Doctor: Nurse! What is it? What’s wrong?!
Nurse: Doctor! I….I can’t! I…I just can’t!
Doctor: Can’t ‘what’, Nurse?
Nurse: I can’t help this woman. I….I just can’t!
Doctor: why not, Nurse?
Nurse: she….she….she has…..STUBBBBLY PIIIITS!!! (as she runs, wailing, out of the ER, the doctor recoils in horror, too, and they both leave me to die on that gurney)
My mother has a lot to answer for.
7a. Fresh sheets. El O was induced to whisk on some fresh sheets during one of my 5-min forays. After 4 24-days in the same sheets….heaven.
8. Food. Water. When you are, in essence, paralyzed it’s one of those things that….well, let’s just say that I was feeling very Blanche Hudson “but ya are, Blanche! but ya are!” When the en-suite is a challenge, the kitchen might as well be on Pluto. A clueless El O left at 6a, not even giving me a piece of toast. At 2p, Tina came, took one look at my starving carcass, went back to her house (the Rottweiler made our kitchen a no-fly zone) …and brought me lunch! It was NOT a rat! LOL! I love her.
9. My friends, irl and virtual. For you all I am eternally grateful! Once I came to, I was able to take the phone calls and read the emails,blog & FB posts & cards that people sent, wishing me well. I hope you all know how much it means to me. This type of malady is very…isolating, especially when you have a clueless mate. I had lots of time to think Baby Jane Thoughts and knowing that you guys gave a hoot helped dispel those Very Dark Moments.
10. My health. I don’t know that I’ve ever really given it much thought before. Yeah, I’ve had fall-downs and lie-downs and busted this/bruised that…but never before did I wonder if I could actually recover from it. I’ve always been a bit arrogant about my ability to will myself through any sort of pain – this episode reminded me that ‘will’ isn’t always enough. Sometimes you do have to let go and let others help. And sometimes, even ‘help’ can’t help – you just have to deal with what’s dealt you, in whatever way’s possible. And it’s given me a greater understanding and sensitivity to others who are in similar (or even direr) straits.
So…what’s been up with you guys, since I’ve been in twilight? Catch a Musette up with the Latest! tell me stories and I’ll poke my cane at random.org and send somebody some fun samples! Who’s busted? How’ya holdin’up? And….let me know what you would like me to natter on about, now that I’m partially mobile again.
Terribly, terribly late, but *big hugs* dear Musette! That was me about a year and a half ago so I can totally sympathize! So glad you’re back on your feet!!!
So sorry you have been in agony, and over your birthday too! I had a rheumatic episode 2 years ago and was unable to walk for 3 weeks, so you have my utmost sympathy. Hope you feel much better very soon! Fragrant hugs to you.
Dear Musette, glad you’re feeling a bit better. Don’t overdo! I can so relate – I have spondilyitis (arthritis of the spine/hips etc.) and am an unfortunate expert on all things relating to pain and backs. Sometimes you can power through, and sometimes the world just has to stop for a bit. But you’ll never take good days for granted ever again! Wishing you continued recovery and wonderful, if belated celebrations!
Catching up after a Thanksgiving trip away… OH NO!! I am sending you all the most un-spasm-y thoughts I can muster. I have never had to experience such pain (save childbirth, but that’s different) and I admire your humor!
Hi Musette, just catching up…so sorry you went through that awful back pain experience! I do hope you are feeling better now. It’s kind of scary how our bodies can just turn on us like that. Swimming would be good for you, maybe. And yoga? I don’t know, I just don’t want you to go through that again. Love your writing sooo much. Thanks for all the movie references; makes me laugh every time. Soaked in Amouage and lavished with gifts from great friends, that is you. A little envious, that is I. Hugs!
And yes, the bathroom trips were the worst, it would be a 30 minute ordeal.
I totally understand what you’ve gone through, I work in a restaurant, constantly reaching into tables with cast iron containers.
One night my back was bothering me at work, I kinda ignored it. and was closing manager, after everyone was gone from restaurant I went into wine cellar to put ways a case of wine, I bent down to put the case down, and a flash of pain, and a white light shot through me, I woke up while being put on a stretcher and on to an ambulance, I threw my back out, and blacked out!!!!
It was the most horrible two weeks of my life! I’m so sorry to hear you went through the same thing.
HOWEVER, I did find a cure about 3 years ago, my lower back never felt right after that, went to acupuncture (which I swear by), nothing, chiropractors, nothing! bought an inversion board, a little relief. I later visited a friend at her home, and she was laying on her back on the floor, and had her legs up on this real funky apparatus, called Back2life, she let me try it afterwards, I was amazed, I fell asleep during the 12 minute session, so relaxing, I went another 12 minutes cause it felt so good, and while I was talking to my friend i felt a strange but wonderful spasm, it felt like my lower spine completely realigned, I felt almost cured!!. I ran home, went on line and bought it, had it shipped over night, and am a huge fan of this little gem of a machine, anytime I have a hard night at work, afterwards, press the button for 12 minutes, and all is great, total back reboot. it’s like 200.00, you can do monthly pay 40.
Thank you so much, John! I’ll be looking for that. I came back here to tell Musette to just lie down (very slowly) on a warm floor, bend her knees and do some yoga breathing, which I find very calming for the sciatic and the back in general, but this machine looks amazing. And safe! Thank’s for sharing. And since we are on the subject, I swear by swimming. It’s great for the back, makes the legs and feet feel light, its blue, its bubbly, you breath rythmically… The fact that it happens to be such an effective aerobic exercise comes almost as a bonus.
Hi Musette! I, too, am so happy to “see” you again. I adore your writing because it is a reflection of the wonderful person behind the words.
I echo the comments made here — I have nothing new to add.
I’m just so VERY glad you are alive and well (all things considered :-))
Musette, I am so sorry to read of your back problems. There’s nothing I can say that hasn’t been said by others in this post except perhaps when you’re able, you might seek out a Rolfer. I did the complete series last spring when tendonitis and a pinched nerve were making me miserable. The treatment was expensive, but it worked. Of course, the money I spent took a bite out of my perfume budget! Take care.
Just wanted to say I am so sorry you are having to deal with this horrific pain! I pray it is diminishing every day, and it never comes back–evvaah! Pain is horrific but you’re so right, it does make us so aware of what other people go through. I hope you were a quick learner and this is over, over, over and you are just relaxed and loving this Amouages. Get well, beautiful Musette!
Happy to hear you are back on your feet! I’ve had this sciatic thing when I was pregnant. I couldn’t touch the floor with my left foot (at all), and when I tried to jump or my husband tried to carry or support me somehow, it hurt more. Awful (specially with no pain killers, due to the bun in the oven), and then it healed, never to come back. Hope you’ll continue to get better and better, never to hear of this thing again! And a caueat: be super careful while gardening, it’s the kind of activity that forces the sciatic and can hurt your back back. (I did it too!)
Have a nice and painless weekend, sweet Musette!
So glad to hear you’re on the way up and out of the pain fog. Back pain is the pits (and not the aforementioned stubbly kind) – you dont realize just how much you use your back muscles for just about every movement of any importance. After a year of increased hobbling and walking bent over, hubby o’ mine had recent surgery to rotoroot some bone spur goop from lower spinal column which was causing pressure on the sciatic nerve. Twas good for a month – now he’s feeling the pain again so off for another MRI tomorrow.
Being a Brit, I’m a huge fan of Brit TV shows – Downton Abbey and Call the Midwife are 2 of my favs. I just had a b-day yesterday and so off we went to the Perfume House, a spectacular pefumerie here in Portland. After almost sniffing my nose into oblivion, I decided on Gold (!), SL’s Ambre Sultan and Musc Kublai Khan. Hubby treated himself to Montale’s Black Oud.
I love Tracy’s suggestion for your cane – you definitely need to tart it up and make a statement…
I’m terribly sorry to hear about your traumatic back and sciatic pain journey. Ugh! I am yet another one who has suffered from it. I can remember standing at the receptionist’s desk in tears asking her to work me in to see the Physical Medicine doctor because the sciatic pain in my leg was so bad. I herniated disks in my lower back when my son was a baby 16+ years ago, while lifting him in one of those seats that clicks into the car. I was in a real bind because I was breastfeeding him exclusively at the time, so I couldn’t lie in bed until I felt better. I had to keep getting up to feed him around the clock. They reduced the swelling with epidural steroid block, which helped. Since then, it flared up occasionally, and I’ve gone through PT about five times. Now that I no longer have to lift children, it almost never hurts me. What has really, really helped has been yoga. Yep. I’m another passenger on the yoga bandwagon. Stretching out and strengthening my core is the biggest help. I hope each day marks another step forward for you and that you see improvement steadily from here on out. So glad you have lovely new smellies to brighten your days, too. 🙂
So glad you are feeling better, Musette. I have never had back pain (knock on wood it stays away, it sounds AWFUL) but have had various broken bones and acute pancreatitis that had me curled in the fetal position until the anesthesiologist knocked me out before surgery, so I can relate to feeling crummy, in pain, and trying to recuperate. Your Dia sounds amazing, I have only tried the edp but l like Gold better. And everyone pees in the shower and also in the ocean (or a lake) at least once in their life. I think it’s a rule.
I am so happy to see a post from you. I’m sad that you’re still ailing a bit but at least you’re making some progress. Back pain is awful. Don’t overdo! Even if you’re feeling better please take it easy so you have time to heal. Give yourself some perfume therapy. Get well soon. Those chickens need you you know. 🙂
thanks, poodle (how’s Poodle, btw? sending kisses). I am taking it very easy. I went for a gentle walk (with cane) and one weird step….my sacrum say ‘oh no you di’int!’ – and I stopped stone-dead. Being Very Careful. (it went back to being fine, btw- or as fine as it can be right now).
I guess we’re like you because we’re having good days and bad days. The vet bills are putting a damper on my holiday spending too. Take it easy and know that we’re all sending healing vibes your way. I’d send you a virtual hug but I’m afraid to squeeze you too hard so I’ll send some poodle kisses your way instead.
You’re in Wyoming? Devoted to perfume? With back pain? Are you Me? I thought I was the only me in the state.
Best advice I ever got from a doctor vis a vis Screaming Back Pain: Do not stop taking your appointed drugs just cuz you feel better – those muscles, nerves, whatever, need to be protected while they heal. Two weeks. My essential food groups are caffeine, nicotine and Aleve. Forever.
I’m glad the worst is over. Every day will be better.
Oh, no, my darling. I’m not in Longmire Country, alas (I had a dream about him awhile back, while on Ultram. It was…..well, nebber you mind). I’m in….Wyoming, Illinois. Population 1,385. Not nearly as picturesque as Longmire Country we are, nevertheless, closer to Civilization than you guys. Did you know there’s a ‘Wyoming’ town in nearly every state in the Union. Not sure if there is a Wyoming, WY, though. Might be gilding the sagebrush a bit there. Where do you go for your perfume fix(es)?
And I am totally with your doc on the full course of pain and muscle drugs. I downed Ever. Single. One. Hell, I would’ve downed more – but there were no refills! Ask Portia about my med-induced dreams! LOL!
Musette, so sorry to hear about your sufferings even as I am cracking up over how you managed to survive. Thank Floyd you are getting care and feeling better!
It sounds like the exercises you are learning will help you avoid future aches as the years pass. A colleague of mine stopped exercising in her forties or fifties and got sciatica in her late sixties, along with osteoporosis and other problems that greatly limit her prospects for recovery – it’s sad what pain and disability have done to this brilliant individual. Please take advantage of this experience as early warning to prioritize your health. The world needs your unique perspective and talents!
BTW, pee is beyond clean – normally sterile when it comes out. As long as you rinse it away from bath surfaces (where bacteria would be happy to start growing on it), there is no harm done.
weirdly enough, I remembered that about the pee – isn’t that funny? I remember, ages ago, reading where, if one needed sterility and clean water and soap were not available, one could use urine. Do NOT ask me where I read that. It was forevers ago but iirc, it was about delivering a baby – maybe. I remember imagining somebody squatting and peeing on their hands….it was a bizarre visual…
yes!!! on the Forever Exercises. The yoga instructor was a great incentive. If you can sink to the floor like a prima ballerina, with a combined 3 rods in both your legs…well it’s all okay by me! Plus, I really, truly hate being all bent up and in pain. It’s just ……weird. And it hurts. So if yoga helped her after a horrific car crash and surgeries, I’m in!
LOL – they came to Perfume Posse looking for perfume prose – they left carrying indelible images in their brains FOREVER! 🙂
I love you and am so glad you are on the mend.
Physical pain is just awful and yes, yer mind can think some wretched thoughts when you hurt that bad.
I hope it never happens to you again, darling.
Hugs and virtual kisses~ Ms. T
My dear, thank you SO much. Knowing you all gave a hoot really did help – a LOT!!! xoxoxoxoxoA
So glad you are feeling better! I was cringing and laughing both as I read this, but glad to know you’re mobile again and able to fully enjoy (and reach!) that wonderful collection of Amouage. I hope it all just gets rapidly better from here!
Thank you! I’m wearing Dia extrait today! I love that it saw me through this episode – and I’m more in love with it than ever!
Hi, doll, I laughed and cried over this post. All I can do is send love! My husband has had 2 back surgeries and was laid up almost 2 yrs before the last one, so I’ve got an idea… plus I was in traction last yr myself. Wiping your a** becomes a major achievement! Now it’s my knee, surgery was 3wks today and it’s been harder than I thought;totally with you on the wonder of Netflix and narcotics. What is it about those English dramas that’s so soothing? Foyle’s War, the Forsyte Saga, Land Girls, etc. So glad you are better, you’ve been missed!
OMG! on your poor husband! And I’m glad your knee is recovering, albeit slowly – be patient and kind to yourself. And yes on the ‘wiping your a**’. I spent 2 weeks …..well, you can imagine! LOL!
I have just begun to delve into the English shows – looked at Land Girls and thought’ oooh, I think I’ll wait’. Ditto Foyle’s War. Ya nebber know… I might have need of them anon (though I hope not) 😀
OK, I didn’t want to mention the -a-hem- wiping, but Musette and Rosarita — you said it for me. What a terrible, awkward problem to have, eh? Thank goodness that’s all “behind” us now …
yikes, Musette!! Keeping fingers crossed it was a one-time thing. Glad your woes weren’t exacerbated by the Midwest tornadoes. Just returned from NYC…bought the SL ISM travel atomizer at Barneys. The nice young SA was eager to make me over…not sure if I was looking wan or if she was just bored! She also made me a sample of Une Voix Noire, which I don’t care for.
I tried on my aunt’s Shalimar, which I’d previously eschewed…and now I like it! The wonders of perfumistahood never cease…
alas, this is ongoing, hence my wanting to get a yoga and PT routine in place to help strengthen my bits and stave off another episode.
PerfumistaLife is endlessly evolving, which is what makes it so much fun. What you hate in 2010 you might end up loving in 2014! I hated Shalimar for years – until I came under the spell of a vintage parfum. I also thought I would hate Amouage Gold. Was SURE of it.
Well, obviously not! LOL!
Keep a Beginner’s Mind!
Very glad to hear that you are getting back to your own true self, Musette! I have some idea of what you’ve been going through, having fractured two vertebrae a few years back. When you are feeling up to some exploration, I highly recommend a yoga stretching routine. It’s been a godsend for me. Looking forward to seeing you again some day on the streets of New York in a rowdy romp in search of good perfume.
You read my mind! I just wrote above about getting a routine structured for my particular ailment(s)! I’m really looking forward to that. And yes! on the NY ROMP!!!
Darlin’, you deserved every bit of that Amouage. XO
I did, didn’t I? So glad El O ponied up (even though he doesn’t know he did 😉
Oh you poor thing! So glad you survived, humor intact & all.
Me, too!!! xoxoxoA
Welcome home Princess. Be well.
thank you, my Queen! I’m getting there!
Oh Musette it’s wonderful you’re feeling a bit better, and that even in your pain you think of saying hi to us 🙂
I’ve had agonizing back pain on and off for years, and I always feel that no one understands how excruciating the pain can be, yet it seems far more people experience it than one would think. A girl I work with just had back surgery, after turning up to work for weeks on end having weekly epidurals just to manage the pain, and vomiting from leaking spinal fluid. I don’t know how she did it!
Over here in sunny Aus I’ve just finished 3 days of helping decorate and cater for our work xmas lunch for about 300 hungry folk, and I’m too tired even to run a bath, even tho I have some new Lush bath thingies I want to try.. But I’ve the next 2 days off so rather looking forward to some r&r 🙂
Your bday goodies sound delightful and its great you were still able to feel a tiny bit normal with shaved pits and Dia..
Oh- and it’s a good thing you brought that hose in when you did 😉
See, this is what I mean. LEAKING FREAKIN’ SPINAL FLUID? Are you kidding me? The very idea of that makes me want to faint.
That xmas lunch sounds fabulous! Come cook for me, okay?
Sorry to hear about the pain, I hope all goes well while you’re on the mend.
My back gives me trouble from time to time, but nothing excruciating, it does make me worry about the future though.
I’ve been sore lately actually, maybe it’s stress, and having the family away for a few weeks.
Try a reputable, knowledgeable yoga instructor, one who is not about speed or getting to the next level or any of that crazy – there is a yoga instructor who comes here (yes, really! it’s like this weird little….self-contained…place) – she is very gentle and works with whatever’s going on with your body (she took up yoga after a horrific car crash that resulted in 3 back surgeries and 2 rods each in both of her legs – you would not know it to see her now. She’s like cooked spaghetti, she’s so limber). Anyhoo – she gave me some exercises for my hip. Once I’m back on track I will be seeing her about this, too!
Good idea. My brother’s been doing it for a couple of years with his wife. Only today he was saying his 8 month pregnant wife still does her yoga, no pulling back. That would probably worry me, but I guess sometimes I can be a worrybot. 🙂
Poor Musette! I am so sorry about your excruciating pain and immobilization. Good thoughts for your full recovery, darling!
Um, Musette…did you know that your “nightstand” link takes us to the Nick Hawk Gigolo Nightstand Pleaser & Body Glide (30 ml travel size)? Hahaha! What’s with the travel size? We always want the full version!
OMG!!! that is HYSTERICAL! those are auto-generated ‘links’ – I just let Patty know about it. TOO funny!
And yes – that is a weird thing, the ‘travel size’. Go big or get the hell out of my nightstand! 😀
Whew! I’m so glad someone else not only noticed that but also had the ball-ettes to mention it! Being fairly new to the Posse and all who dwell here, I wasn’t sure if I should question it or assume it was a regular topic of conversation 😉
Clean underwear….HA I have heard of people who turn them inside out and wear them again!
Your poor Musette, I didn’t realise you were so seriously out of action, your sense of humour has been undiminished. Glad you feel better and hope you can still face the Dia extract!
Ho, yus! on the Dia. I am not sensitive enough for ‘scent memory’ – at least I don’t think I am. Hell, I’m hardened enough to not even have food memories. When my first husband told me he was leaving (which evolved into me chasing him out of the house with my favorite chef’s knife – long story)…..I was making lemon risotto with asparagus. I thought I would never again be able to face making that dish (I was folding the asparagus into the risotto when he blurted out that he was leaving – dinner never happened, as you might imagine)………heh. I love that dish. I made it again, about 2 months later, right before asparagus season ended. Squoo those ‘memories’. Fresh asparagus is too good to give up!
I am new here but decided to check in today to see what was going on. I love your blog and I love fragrance so that’s what brought me here. I’m glad I decided to check in today and am terribly sorry to know you’ve been going through such an agonizing ordeal. I am so glad to know you are up and about again.
The cane… since you must use one for now, you should rock that in a antique goth style with hand carved wood, claw feet and a mother of pearl griffin handle. If I had one I would send it to you, making sure to specially rubberize the feet to keep it safe and practical. You seem such a sweet and generous hearted person with an incredible tongue-in-cheek humor I adore. Excruciating back pain should be reserved only for … well… those who are pains in the back, though I realize you would probably never wish that on your worst enemy. One little trapezoid strain between the shoulder blades a few years ago was enough to paralyze me to the bed a few days and I was scared, terrified. I cannot even imagine your situation. Bless your heart.
On peeing in the shower – Well? I can’t imagine a better way to deal with taking care of a full bladder when your back is in that kind of pain. I have all sorts of confessions I won’t go on about here, but an occasional pee in the shower in the bitter Kansas winter is a luxury I afford myself occasionally. As long as it doesn’t smell like my new bottle of civet oil, I figure all is well. I have tub cleaner and I use it afterwards. ‘Nuf said.
Mothers and clean underwear – Oh my. I always wondered why that was my mother’s worst neurosis in the event of a major tragedy befalling me. I believe she was actually more concerned about my underwear than my well-being. As I grew into my teens and was suddenly gifted with the answers to every mystery in the universe, that topic became a bone of contention between us. I was insulted she thought I never changed for one thing, hurt and annoyed the state of my underwear mattered more than a spewing artery, or worse… until I grew old enough to realize I knew nothing about nothing except the underwear thing was about her. She felt my underwear was a reflection of her in some way, which is no surprise. As much as I adore her, everything is still all about her. I am not Jewish but the number of people who have randomly asked if I am screams volumes. “Don’t ride your bike down that hill you’ll splat your brains out all over the ground!” (at the grand age of 4 or 5) Such comforting imagery. “If you don’t finish your education you’ll find yourself on the streets dirty, cold and begging for food!” (with dirty underwear no less.) These days I hear “I have no idea why you have so much anxiety. What is the matter with you? Why do you have that? Where did it come from?” and I really do just have to laugh; the kind of laugh that starts with a snicker and climaxes into gut-busting-peeing-stomach-hurt laugh as she looks at me completely lost, utterly confounded and clueless and asks “What in the world is so funny?” … and that makes me laugh even more. It’s all just too crazy, and I’ve learned to laugh to keep from crying as I feel about one buckle short of a strait jacket. I have the urge to ring her now and tell her I have holes in my dingy panties I never wash and bleach.
Anyway, glad you got some sweet smell-goods for your birthday and hope you continue to recover completely. I hope you are feeling well enough to not have to pee in the shower, but if you must, do your thing and be sure and put on clean underwear when you get out, before going to bed, first thing in the morning and carry an extra pair (or two) in your purse for a mid day change. We don’t die of pain or bodily issues. Apparently we die from wearing worn out or dirty underwear. 😉 Get well soon!
oh, honey! Welcome! Now that you’re ‘out’ you come back all the time, okay? We LOVE our Posse!!!
LOL! on you and your mom! So many of us have similar stories. Just keep laughing through it and love her, okay? Parents do what they can, within the limits of what the Universe gives them. Mine were both batshit crazy and narcissistic as hell – especially my dad. I give mucho thanks that he stayed around long enough (91) for me to get over his crazy and see him for who he was – a guy just trying to do the right thing, with a whole lotta lotta gnawing at it. He passed away last year and I’m so grateful that I got to know him as a person, not just as my dad, before he went!
Musette- That was one of the funniest and, at the same time, heartrending posts ever. I am so glad that you are feeling better but wish I had been there to bring you toast and soup. And spritz you with your amazing birthday presents!
Physical therapy is, literally with sciatica, a pain in the butt but will help you never have this happen again. Stay strong.
I would’ve welcomed your toast and soup and spritzes with open arms! Well, no. My arms wouldn’t open. but I would’ve been extremely grateful! LOL!
I’m actually looking very much forward to PT – I am eager to be proactive about this since it’s unlikely to improve as I age.
Trust me, doctors and nurses see much worse than hairy armpits. I remember years ago bring embarrassed by a trip to the emergency room in my laundry-day clothes, with no makeup. The handsome young doctor helped me gain some perspective when he checked back in on me. “You’re looking much better!” he said. “You’re not all gray anymore.”
I know! but something about the whole Clean Underwear thing….and anyway, how could any doctor/nurse think about my armpits when I’m blowing their eardrums out and wetting my pants?
Glad you’re not all gray anymore, too! That sounded…scary!
I’m sorry to hear about your awful back pain, and I am glad to hear it is getting better! It sounds like you have a lot to be grateful for, actually. I was also grateful for #4 when our landlord decided that we needed a new toilet in our bathroom. Apparently putting in a toilet takes two days, and until then I did not realize how small my bladder could feel. Also you totally deserve a do-over, with cake 🙂
Oh, I’ve been there with the toilet. My contractor took my toilet out on a Friday….in February..in Chicago. That’s when I realized that you really can do without a lot (including electricity) but you simply CANNOT do without a toilet.
…and it doesn’t take two days – he lied. Done right, it can be done in about 2 hours. We just replaced our toilet and, because of my earlier experience (and we are no longer in a place where you can run to Starbucks), I was pretty adamant that the thing be re-ringed and DONE by evening. El O made it so, bless him!
I suspected as much about the two days! Darn plumbers. We are pretty far from a Starbucks as well, and I was super jealous of my bf’s ability to discreetly go outside in the evening 🙁 Toilets and toilet paper, two things I will be eternally thankful for!
Ah Musette, I have indeed felt your pain. It can be unbelievable. An episode awhile ago which necessitated a lot of painkillers made me pass out into my own birthday cake (really truly happened). I’m glad you’re on the mend and you do what ya gotta do to get there.
Holy schnikes! You just made me, literally!, ‘bleart’ out my coffee! I would’ve answered sooner, but I had to get a cloth and cleaner to wipe off the monitor – for realz (not that it’s funny, what happened to you – but…yeah, okay – it’s funny – to read about now! though definitely not to you and not to those to saw it happen. But now? Yeah. I laughed. Sorry!
Glad you’re okay now!!!
I’m so glad you laughed. That was the whole point. Keep on getting better.
At least you got a great story out of the painkiller/birthday cake incident… glad you’re both better.
My husband never fails to tell that story to anyone who will listen. I’ve never had another episode like that with my back since that time and I’m so grateful for that.
Well, my God, I knew you were feeling puny, but I didn’t realize it was actual torture! Jesus. I had never heard of a reflexologist, but I am so glad you found one and have gotten some relief.
I was bedridden for 22 months, so I do totally sympathize with that, but I had no pain. ( Insane vertigo with the slightest movement and projectile vomiting, but no pain, thank God. And I didn’t feel like eating anything, so he didn’t have to worry about that, but my sweet husband set me up a TV tray with different decants and samples every morning, so I’d have something to look forward to!)
I was in my 30s before I found out people peed in the shower. My thought was that their showers must drain hella faster than ours, because who the hell wants to stand in pee??!! And then I found out that some people blow their noses in the shower (and I do not mean they take a Kleenex in with them, either) and that some people brush their teeth in the shower.
So there are precious few places other than my own home I will actually shower in, water shoes or no water shoes, and I haven’t taken a bath in 20 years. Loose hair in the damn tub skeeves me out enough…I so do not need to wonder if it has been awash in snot and spit and piss!
How are There Most Feathered Majesties? Will this be their first winter?
Holy mackerel! 22 months? TWENTY-TWO MONTHS? Oh, honey. I can’t even fathom that!
I kinda got over the shower thing pretty fast. I wear shower shoes in a public shower but at friends’ or a decent hotel, I figure they are reasonably clean (and I’m a ‘run the water for a minute, make sure it drains fast’ kinda gal. El O is a mess in the shower – I always clean it before going in after him.
The girls are doing well – this is their First Winter! They hate snow, couldn’t care less about rain or cold. So far, so good. El O has been taking care of them for the past two weeks – funny how much more respectful he is of me! LOL! I don’t think he realized just how much ‘stuff’ I do around here (in addition to running our business!). Keeping the coop clean, for example! Ha!
Hooray, Musette! So happy you’re back and on the mend. And very glad the Amouages did their part to help 🙂 I wanted to cry reading your post; I hate that you were hurting so much. Emotional pain I can take, but the physical is something else, especially when it is just off-the-charts unbearable. I’ve had lumber lock-ups in the past when DH literally had to pull me out of the bed to go to the bathroom and simply trying to stand upright brought shrieks of pain, so I can sympathize a bit. Just take care, go at your own pace and rock that cane!! (My 70-year-old MIL pushed me in a wheelchair at the mall during my worst back attack and I did NOT care one bit — I was just so happy to be out and about!!) Love and (gentle) hugs to you!!
OMG! the idea of being ‘pulled up’! made my sciatica seize up just now! LOL! early on, El O tried to pull me and I yelled so loud he dropped me!
Your MIL sounds like a peach!!!!!
Oh dear, I’ve been there. One doesn’t know that they could make those sounds, shrieks
and screams of pain. Alliteration not intended.
Do take care and take it ease as my friends beloved Italian father used to say.
The sounds are stunning, aren’t they?
I had an Italian honorary uncle-in-law who would say “Happy East!” for every holiday, bless his heart. We just said that at Thanksgiving! 😀
Oh, Musette, I’m so sorry you’ve been dealing with such horrendous pain! And I’m so glad you’re feeling a bit better, and I hope you continue to heal, only faster and with more Amouage!
More Amouage! More Amouage! yes!!!