So! My darlings. I. Am. An. Idiot.
But you knew that!
This particular idiocy is Weather Foolishness…and hey! Guess what? It does involve perfume.
So let us begin this sad tale.
I have a large garden. And I haz chickens. And the Polar Vortex and the weeds and the pee and the poop and Polly-wolly doodle all the day….I have been working like that poor rented Egyptian mule…and it’s been 90F and I lost mah marbles and went and picked up several tons of gravel (for the garden paths) and sand (for the coop yard, which stank to high heaven)
shiiiiny!
And when you get several tons of gravel & sand it’s all good – they put it in the bed of the pickup and you drive it home….but then you have to get it out. The sand was easyish-peas. It’s sand, though a shovelful of sand is considerably heavier than a shovelful of feathers. Friday, though, I had to get the gravel out, shovelful by shovelful. And there is NO shade. And it was 90F. I lucked out – one of our project workers was looking for some extra simoleans and helped offload and re-lay the garden paths (this time it was was more difficult than the Year of the Wisdom Tooth in that I’d already planted! and those paths are narrow)…and we moronically worked from 10a – noon; why we didn’t just get in a microwave oven will remain a mystery. Got it all done, though and the paths are all clean and tidy (this photo is from last year but it looks persackly like this now, except I need to go out and weed) – he left at noon and I staggered around the sun-baked yard, wondering why I was staggering….kept doing little projects and narrowly missing killing myself on several occasions…and still I staggered on.
Let me tell you why people get sick – really sick – from heat exhaustion. The very nature of heat exhaustion is confusion and staggeration ;-( You have no idea why you just drank a half-gallon of water and can’t pee. A liter of ginger ale seems like a perfectly reasonable thing to imbibe. I think I’ll walk the dog…..why am I zigzagging all over the street? That sort of thing…
Finally I thought ‘hey! you know…I’ll bet a cool shower would feel FREAKIN’ GREAT! right about now’…so I took one. And scrubbed up with Dial (don’t you wish everybody did?)…and then I slathered on some Frederic Malle Geranium Pour Monsieur body lotion, so minty-fresh it tingled! Seriously. Either that or I was still feeling the hallucinogenic effects of sunstroke. O.M.G. So fresh. But not that horrible Fresh Accord fresh. This is the perfect antidote to a bloody, messy, stupid-actin’ day. Even though I was feeling like I, Rhino the quiet, elegant freshness of this lotion brought me somewhat back to my senses. It felt like I’d just pulled on a crisp, white Ann Fontaine blouse (yeah, the ones with 3billion pintucks that Somebody Who is Not Me has to iron) I spritzed some (okay – a LOT) of the perfume, then I decided to do the only sensible thing left to do. I took a nap. When I awoke, some 6 hours later, the whole room smelled like beautiful, minty geraniums! In Paris. On vintage Frette linens.
Of course, you don’t have to haul gravel or suffer heatstroke in order to smell like a beautiful, minty geranium. In fact, I advise you to skip that portion of the exercise altogether. But…wow! If you want to feel like that woman (or man – it is Pour Monsieur, after all) who wears that Ann Fontaine shirt…that someone else irons.. this is a perfect scent. Dominic Ropion is the perfumer and it’s $265/100ml and worth every simolean, imo. And I mean it. It’s not the sunstroke talking. Mine comes from Andy at Barneys – and yours can, too.
Oooh! I’m a grandma! I have 2 baby screech owls (the newly-minted part of this post. Ha!) He’s only about 5″ tall and I’m stunned that I got this photo. They’re roosting in the tree in my side garden. Mom was like ‘are you joking? get the hell away from mah babies’ which, may I just say? kinda terrifying…..then she got over it when she realized I was just looking. They make the coolest sounds.
adorable…for now
Musette, you are hilarious! So, I love your baby owls. I love your garden and gravel paths. I am very jealous b/c mountain, woodland glory and lots of deer and critters conspire to prevent me from having my dream garden. And as tomorrow I get to be a work mule with moving two full on tandem loads of mulch around the landscaping at my library, I am afraid I feel your pain. Also, just for kicks – twice in my life I’ve had knock over heat and sun stroke. Not fun at all. Hallucinating drooling shivering puking pass out heat stroke. And one time it was at a wedding. Outdoor wedding, and me, a mere winter flower who balks in the sun. I’m the running around like hell Maid of Honor, and gee, why does Ann look so pale and clammy in all those pictures? Gettng heatstroke in a waters & waters silk shantung wedding suit and pantyhose (yes, dears, back in the day when all good ladies wore hose to weddings) is no lovely garden wedding picnic! I had to miss half the reception and disrobe and lay down in a cold dark room for hours….. No champagne toasts for that sick maid.
That’s so cool about the baby owls! I’ve never seen baby ones before, just an adult in the woods behind our house. Whew, I hear you on the effects of heat and sun. It can overcome me really suddenly, too. Sounds like you were working your butts off out there. Your little garden paths are just beautiful, precise and lovely. Sigh. What a gorgeous garden. The minty geranium sounds delightful. I need to order a Malle sampler and sniff some of that gorgeousness.
It really is lovely! I would love to grow some in pots along paths, like the Victorians used to do. Re GpM, you can just order from Surrender to Chance – way less expensive! xoxoxoA
Wow! A 5-inch baby owl?! And, uh, a very protective mom…..
I know about dehydration thanks to kidney issues. You, um, might be trying to do too much at one time. As in Get Out of the Heat and Into the AC more often, Anita. Sure, you have this drive that longs to get things done. But it’s a big da** setback if you end up hospitalized for it.
Meanwhile, I wish we lived closer together so you could be a Garden and Chicken mentor to me. :o) xxoo
That’s what sucks about heatstroke (and it’s Evil Twin, hypothermia) – you don’t realize that you’re done for until you’re very nearly done for! It’s verrrra insidious!
I would love to be a garden mentor – I’ve lucked out in this small burg in that I have a native plant mentor (with the most stunningly beautiful garden). Chickens? I dunno. I kinda suck at anything other than cleaning the coop, feeding/watering and gathering eggs. Anything else is up to El O, aka, The Butt Whisperer 😀 xoxoxoA
Well, that’s three things more than I know about them. I helped my grandmother gather eggs, but that’s a long way from knowing daily care.
El O aka whuuut? LOL! No srsly, my sister had ducks. Seems like that kinda ability might save a bird’s life now and then.
Yeah, I really hate how dehydration screws with the mind. Very Evil.
Carry on in smelling wonderful!!!
Watch your back, girlfriend! You don’t need to spend the summer stuck in bed with a pulled back. I love those owls. Wish I had some around me. I have hummingbirds instead and they are just too darn cute. Sometimes I think they are the best part of the summer for me.
I was thinking of you on Sunday. I was shoveling and spreading mulch and wearing a hefty spritz of Jubilation 25.
Ohhh hummingbirds! How lovely!
as Tookie Smith used to say (about her body) “I got my front action goin’ and my back action goin'”. I’ve got hummingbirds in the daytime and the little owlets at dusk! xxoxoxoxoA
Love the look of the gravel in your garden – I am also fond of the sound it makes when you walk over it.
Heat strokes and sun-strokes suck. They are devious and malicious. They catch you unguarded. No matter how many sensible precautions I take, it seems like I always get a few in late spring and summer. Devious and malicious, I tell you.
I find mint is so refreshing in the hot months…which probably explains why I go through industrial quantities of eau de beauté – love to fall asleep in a cloud of cool minty goodness.
The owls! <3
The baby owls!!! <3 <3 <3
hmmm… maybe I should acquire some better phrasing skills. I suppose I meant to say “I am also fond of the sound gravel makes when one walks over it”. Bear with me, Musette! 😉
LOL! No grammar or syntax worries here. It’s amazing how our brains just parse it. Rarely do I even notice the errors that you all are so apologetic for!
And ‘devious and malicious’ sums it up nicely! xoxoxoxoA
Hey Musette,
I LOVE Geranium pour Monsieur too. Great frag. I know exactly what you mean about waking up fresh.
Oh, and don’t be a silly dunce in the sun again.
Portia xx
I promise. I won’t. I’mo start hiring the heavy lifting out. Gets too hot out there. xoxoxoxoA
One of the things I like best about you and the Posse are how often I read the blogs and find myself saying, “OH, it’s not just me!” Whether going full bore for a HG FB, staggering around the yard, or wondering how on earth the same backyard can host both the polar vortex and be the innards of a microwave short weeks later…you keep it real! And thanks for the lovely imagery of minty fresh geraniums on vintage sheets in Paris. Summer at its finest!
LOL! No, it’s definitely NOT just you! This is the Cafe for Crazy!!! Real Crazy! And we’re so glad you come here to be Crazy with us! xoxoxoxoxoA
Good grief – you got me worried there and I am so glad that you recovered relatively quickly. Like Sharon, I was sure that you were going to hurt your back. It’s funny how the hotter you get, the dafter you become and just get yourself even hotter (I don’t mean you, I mean one!).
When I get to the point of combusting I have a bath frothing with Avalon’s Peppermint and then slather myself with L’Occitane’s Verbena Ice Gel. Then spritz generously with Guerlains’s Herba Fresca. Then stand in front of the fan. It’s almost like having air-con.
Love the owl! What do your chicken girls think of her?
I think that’s why so many people (me) get so sick from heat exhaustion. The symptoms (disorientation, confusion, etc) are what prevent one (ME) from taking steps to mitigate the symptoms. El O was once so badly stricken that I had to pack him in ice! Disoriented and red as a beet, he thought he could ride with his pals (we were at a rally). I put a stop to that, which probably saved his life. The ice helped, too! xoxoxoA
Goodness, girl! When I got to the part about sand and gravel, I was sure you were going to tell us you’d hurt your back again. But sunstroke and heatstroke are not to be trifled with. You are the only Musette we’ve got–Bruno would be very cross with all of us if we didn’t remind you to take good care of yourself!
And congrats on the owls! I get to hear them in the nearby woods, but haven’t seen any. Just as well, though–one of the neighborhood cats is raising her 3-week old kittens in our backyard, and I fear they would make a tasty snack for a hungry owl.
Thank you! It’s lovely to be appreciated. Bruno would be in a world of hurt, were I to have to vacate for awhile. El O….well….nebber mind.
There are no baby rabbits around anymore – of course, they could’ve all grown up to be big rabbits by now..
xoxoxoA
Sorry about your near sunstroke. I had it too this Saturday. Found myself lying on the floor of the garage admiring the nice cool concrete. Your baby owls are so cute! I have been swooshed by a great horned owl (carrying a small tasty looking cat) and it is really frightening. Owls are so quiet and their talons are huuuuge up close. Tread carefully.
Erm, I was carrying the cat – that was the problem.
Oh! Whew. For a minute there…I thought ‘wow. she seems so…blase.. about that cat!’… and YIKES! on the concrete. You take care, too! xxoxoxoxoA
I would have taken that bird down, talons and all, if she had my kitty.