WayWAY back, I was given a bottle of Paloma Picasso, the ovalish black bottle with the amber middle, wrapped in a black velvet bag. I put it aside, being sure – absolutely sure – that it was going to have a Opium/Cinnabar vibe, all spicy and incense-y and headache inducing and stuck in my nose for eternity. Because Black Velvet/Black Bottle/Black eyeliner/Black hair/DadwasDrama, right?
I love making those visual snaps.
I was wrong.
The first spritz was confusing, because I had to unclench my jaw & nose from the anticipated spice blast (Opium can send me into a migraine in .02 seconds. Last time I got some on a fingertip I ran down Michigan Ave like Alan Arkin in The In-Laws (“Serpentine, Shel! Serpentine!”) scrubbing my finger with Clinique Number 4 toner. To no avail. Because, in a nanosecond, it had gotten behind my soft palate and lodged there. For all I know it may still be there, like when a mouse dies behind a wall. The smell is gone, but….
…anyway, this is not a review of Paloma Picasso which is a nice, inoffensive citrusy-floral, vaguely reminiscent of Jean Nate (not a bad thing). This is about deciding ahead of time what a perfume will smell like based on packaging or celebrity branding – I mean, really! Paloma Picasso does not engender visions of nice, inoffensive perfume, does she? Britney Spears’s Midnight Fantasy is the flip side of that – I know very little about Ms Spears because I am old and Do Not Care but I presumed that she would have a bubblegum scent wrapped in a 13yr old’s version of what a Midnight Fantasy would be. Instead, it’s a rather sophisticated gourmand, heavy on the fruit, but bypassing the Bazooka altogether. At the other end of the spectrum is Cartier’s Baiser Vole. Without any note information I would’ve bet serious money that it was going to be along the lines of The Dragon. Instead, it’s one of my favorite light-green lily florals ever!
I am always doing something pre-judgy, like with the lemon and dark chocolate which I was sure was going to TASTE AWFUL. Ha. Or, when I wasted 10 gustatory years of my life, being absolutely sure that shrimp would taste awful (I was 8 – but it wasn’t until I was 18 or so that I finally caved. Oh,my wasted Yute!). I was terrified of Guerlain until I was nearly 30 (my mom bombed the hell out of our house with Shalimar edt) – it wasn’t until I was in my 30s that Mitsouko stole my heart.
What about you Posse? Is there a perfume (or something) that you prejudged, only to find yourself hoist on your own petard?
And hey! I haz not forgot! I haz WINNERS!
c’mon down to gmail and tell evilauntieanita all your mailing details! I will get some goodies out to you, pronto!
annnnd…..I may just have The Girl pull a giveaway for today. Tell me some fun stories!