I spent a lovely weekend with all four kids – Mother’s Day here in the US – and now it’s back to work and the weather has warmed up in that mid-Atlantic way, going from rainy 50s to sunny 90s over the course of a few days. Everything is fine. Better than fine in most ways. Dinner’s done and the dishes are washed up and I’ve got the fidgets.
The fidgets are one of those ridiculous, perennial things that annoy me and I can’t decide whether they deserve more attention, or less. I bet you know what I’m talking about, even if you call it something else. (My parents got the fidgets regularly.)
The opposite of the fidgets is that delightful time when you’re puttering or reading or gardening or cooking or just staring out the window and you are content. You’re right there in the moment. There’s no vague, gnawing sense that you could or should be tending to something else. Sure, there are a million other things you could do. But instead you’re focused on your book or your mending and there’s that …. rush is too strong a word. That sense of completeness and happiness. (Yeah, it’s true, mending does that for me!) I had a lot of that quality of time this weekend, whether the kids and I were sitting around talking, or just sharing space in companionable silence. It’s the best kind of happy I know.
But now I’ve got the fidgets. I can’t settle in or settle down. I can’t pick a thing and go with it. My mind buzzes around aimlessly from room to room like a house fly and it’s just as annoying. I’m going to pay a couple bills and run the wash I didn’t do this weekend. I’ll have some clean shirts if nothing else.
Do you have moments when you feel in (or very much out) of your groove? How do you get yourself to settle down? Thinking about being present reminds me of the weekly meditation classes I took a few years back. Instead of freeing my mind, I kept being annoyed by the racket from the trash trucks emptying the dumpsters outside the building (right on schedule!) and thinking about how the cooking fumes from the Chinese restaurant downstairs made me hungry. I’d think about Chinese food for awhile, and whether I should stop and get some dinner before going home, or just make my own. And then I’d meditate on how much I clearly sucked at meditation, which I am pretty sure is not the takeaway we’re striving for.
What do you think I should try? Drumming circle? Chanting? How do you work yourself to that place of contentment? Or does it just happen (or not)? Also while I’m at it, how do you feel about acupuncture? Not for a physical injury, just as a whole-body and mind thing. I have a friend who swears by it but she’s also a fan of cupping and deep tissue so I have my doubts.