OMG you guys! I’ve been trying to figure out how to write this post and it is just a vortex of weirdness. So you’ve been warned.
What is it about this time of the year? Tradition would have it that January 2 is our Reflection Time but I’ve found that I’m too busy trying not to freeze to death to worry overmuch about Life and Moving Forward. In January, Moving Forward is perilous, indeed, with all the ice-covered driveways and sidewalks out there.
For me, weather plays a huge part in Reflection Time and the swing upwards, which should be a time of celebration, is often depressing as hell. I suspect that’s because it’s not really Spring, not yet anyway – our skies are leaden, it is HOLLERIN’ cold with that sharp, clear light that reminds us that Nature is Nobody’s Friend. Again. OKAY, Nature. I get it. Every bone and joint I have is hurting like crazy, I’m wondering why my old, busted self even exists and the Pity Party is in full swing. I’m sitting here, with Joao Gilberto bouncing ‘Bim Bom’ – and you know what? It. Ain’t. Helping. if ‘Bim Bom’ ain’t helping, there may be no help to be found right now. But, in truth, there is. I was reading a particularly relevant post in Yoga for Healthy Aging, , called ‘Never Enough’ about attachment to how things should be (how we wish they were/how they were/ etc) Jill writes (about experiencing changes in her mind/body following a bout of Lyme Disease):
This is a subtle form of attachment—specifically, attachment to the way things were. We could—and some do—spend a lot of time lamenting the way our bodies looked or felt before we reached a particular age, or received a certain illness or injury, and it’s really beneficial to notice this so that we aren’t buying into wishing it were different so much as to cause ourselves incredible stress and sorrow.
One of the pivotal teachings of the Buddha was how everything in conditioned phenomena is impermanent. This means not just outer things like the chair you might be seated on or your Grandmothers favorite teacup, but also our body and the contents of mind, including thoughts, memories, feelings, ideas, and mental energy, and stamina.
and reading that makes me feel simultaneously irked, saddened – and reassured. The barometric swoop is wreaking havoc on my joints, my sacrum is still a bit cocked and for the first time in my life I realize that I am no longer 30 – for realz! It’s scary. And it’s pissing me off. But….it’s also reassuring. It seems to be a natural progression of age – that part where you have to stop and think about what your place is in the Timeline. I don’t think human nature allows us to just go gently – we have to rail against it for awhile – and nothing gives you rail fodder like an illness or injury (omg – if you have time please do read the linked post – the Guy and the 6 Flights of Stairs is priceless! I am him.)
Normally I would rail against this and try HORD to ‘fix’ it (work harder! exercise more! DO something) but you know what? I’mo let it go for awhile. No fretting about barely being able to walk, not gardening, not doing more for my business, Not Liking My Life. I’m going to just go with whatever flow happens to be flowing (assuming that flow isn’t leading me off a cliff. I just want to relax, not plunge to my death!).
I took a NAP today! That I had to actually force myself to do so – on a Sunday (and Easter Sunday at that) should give you some idea of the iron grip I try to keep on myself. And how silly is that? It’s Sunday, all my Monday work is set up, all my Sunday work is, too, for that matter. And I was exhausted – so. Nap. The funny part? Nobody BUT me thought it was weird. The Girl? Snogged out in her room – she naps as her body tells her to. El O? Napping is his jam! So. I thought I would try it. I LIKED IT!
I’ve mentioned Yoga for Healthy Aging here before but I need to mention it again, as they saved my sanity (and possibly my life) when I took that horrible fall on the ice a few years ago. If you have injury, or are just …aging…I urge you to check out their blog www.yogaforhealthyaging.blogspot.com – Nina, Baxter, Shari and their team ……omg. I owe them my life. And it’s simple things that help, like the aforementioned article about how to manage your body’s perceived ‘betrayal’ as you age. If you’re of a certain age, it’s invaluable. If you’re young, check it out anyway – when you get older you’ll be able to pull that memory out of your bank (if you’re lucky) and you’ll be glad you did (though you guys will probably have nanobots to fix all sorts of things! )
Oooh! and they just published a wonderful book! GREAT bedside reading – I just lent my copy to a neighbor who is having balance issues. Reading it (and learning that her balance issues are not some precursor to disaster) has really helped her. It’s the little things.
In the meantime, in appreciation for your reading this rambling post, drop a comment – let me know how you’re doing. I’ll have Everybody’s Favorite Behemoth poke a pawnail at a name or two and we’ll send a few winners some goodies!
and don’t feel too sorry for me – I just got an email from Culver’s. It’s LEMON ICE season again! Hope springs!