“…are you kidding? Around here ‘under the bed’ is always strange! I found a pearl necklace, a tactical knife, a 12″x18″ Diego Rivera monograph as well as a rifle and an AR-15 under the bed, which made no sense because the gun safe and the bookcases are 20′ away. The tactical is best left undiscussed. El O just… never got the guns to the safe. And I never returned the book to the bookcases. My friend K (the one with all the constrictors) kept one of her giant boas under her bed (before she married her husband who then built her a Snake Room in the basement). A tote with some boots in it would be … yawn. ”
And with that convo, so begins another round of Musette’s Musings – what’s under YOUR bed? Mine is relatively clear now that El O has scarpered – as soon as things got weird (for me) and scary (for him) he snatched those firearms out from under that bed sooo fast. They were locked in the safe and he kept both keys on his person at all times. Too bad he’d forgotten that I don’t shoot people – I tend to bludgeon them.
Dear Reader, I did not bludgeon him.
Tons more stuff to Muse about. Here’s one; so, a bit ago I met an attractive man in Rom-com circumstances (same flight, he waited for me at the bottom of the jetway, cue rom-com music, etc etc). He’d started this flirtation early before our flight and it was delightful – we discussed the DOD (AF attache), tactical weapons, cross-dominant shooting, etc – turned out he was LE. Not my favorite profession but he really was charming.
Small problem, though: he was wearing some seriously heavy cumin-based scent. The longer we chatted the more difficult it became for me to separate the idea of the charming man standing in front of me with the reality of the migraine I was developing from all that sweaty cumin. So I bailed, earlier than I would’ve liked. I think (think!) he was angling to either ask me for my number or something (what do people do these days? It’s been soooo long) but I just couldn’t take it another minute, and so sent him on his way (I mean, he was cute – but not Idris-level. Thinking Idris might be the only man I would risk a migraine for…). A week later and I can still smell that damb perfume, even though I can’t tell you much about the man anymore. Has that ever happened to you? I remember, back in the Jurassic Era, when you could choke to death on the clouds of Polo, walking behind a man and his sillage down Michigan Avenue in a brisk breeze. And… omg. Pierre Cardin, which smelled persackly like Raid. This wasn’t quite as bad….. well, yes. Yes. It. Was. Has that ever happened to you? Damb shame. But omg. Migraine just barely averted.
What is your NO! note? The one that would make you bail on Idris… yeah, that one?
Other People’s Houses. So. This past month was Travel Time and it brought me to several folks’s homes – one thing I’ve noticed about OPH is I tend to pick up ideas when I’m visiting. It might be a lovely decor grouping or some intriguing colorway. Or else, as in the case of both friends whom I visited, that I might actually have to get my ass in gear and do a Very Deep Clean of my own house. Areas that I normally take a swipe at (like the front of my oven – it’s below my line of sight so I don’t see it every time I’m in the kitchen) – upon my return I tore that damb thing apart! Because both friends’ appliances were spotless! Because of both of them my bathroom now is clean enough to perform surgery in! Funny how looking at others’ homes can bring home your own to-do’s. And I really needed to clean that kitchen & bathroom! Thanks, guys!
Fashion on Others: I’m glad I’m now adult enough to Take a Feckin’ BREATH and not jump on a fashion bandwagon without first deciding the following:
- Is it for your body type?
- Can you carry this off without looking like a goober?
- If you have to pee, can you take this off in time? (probably the most important question)
- Are you really willing to walk around in 4″ stilettos now?
If the answer to ANY of these is NO! then the fashion is Not For You. Case in point: I was watching Baking Impossible (netflix – a lot of fun, combining baking and engineering. sounds stupid but it’s really not). Anyhoo, one of the judges is Chef Joanne Chang, a beautiful, totally fit Asian woman who wears clothes specifically designed for her body type (lean and nearly flat, with great legs). My first gasp! of love was this gorgeous sea-green jersey dress that fit her like a glove. I googed the living daylights out of that dress, to no avail – until I went back and looked at it and realized that on her it looked like a dream. On me, it would make me look like a lumpy streetwalker. Boobs, a butt and high-necked, fitted jersey are a threesome made in Hell (imo. ymmv). So. No.
(Sadly, I cannot find a single image of her in these fabbo clothes – just trust when I say she looks AMAZING! and I wouldn’t. Not dressed like that. Alas)
Then it was on to: jumpsuits. First, who knew they were a thing again. Second, she makes them look fan-flickin’-TABULOUS (because lean and flat) and Third, I’ll bet she doesn’t have to pee every 24 seconds. My pal Ruth and I discussed the pros and cons of wearing a jumpsuit and realized that… newp! for either of us. Chef Chang looked amazing in hers. I would look like a dumpy, wrinkled mess in mine because I would be ripping it down every 24 seconds to pee. Does anybody actually wear jumpsuits anymore? Doesn’t errrrybody have to pee as much as I do? I remember them being … well, challenging… and that was in my 20s!
And the 4″ stilettos. Omg. Those days are… OVAH! She had on a pair that matched her skin tone, were sexyAF and made her look about 12ft tall… but all I could think of was ‘mayne! if I fall off those I’mo hurt somebody on the way down!’ Falling off your shoes is never a good look.
At the end of the series one thing was clear: Chef Chang and I are never going to fight over clothes.
Clothes on the Man Front: watching ‘Forged in Fire’. Um. Judge/Master Bladesmith Jason Knight in a black tee and a black KILT (replete with fabbo biker/Scots touches like chains, studs and leather pouches). Black combat boots. He should’ve looked like a lunatic. Instead he looked like ….. well, FIRE! comes to mind. I would’ve gone to the mat saying any man Not Highlands Scot in a kilt would look ridiculous. Mr Knight proved me 1000% WA-RONNNG! Watching him, in that kilt, slicing through a line of apples…. yikes!!!
Beyond the eye-candy this show is tailor-made for me; master bladesmiths making edge weapons (even though the competition parameters are wack). Hoo-rah! Cheers a gal right up!
And here’s my last query: why in hell is it so damb cold, so quickly??? Yeah, yeah. It’s Tuesday. I know. But a gal can still whine, right? Honestly, can’t it go from 70 to 30 incrementally? Why are we at 21F already? It’s not even Christmas yet! Sobbing.
Okay – last one: anybody tried talking to Alexa or Google in another language? I know my Spanish accent is deeeecent (ish)… and it’s not like I’m asking her to translate an Octavio Paz poem. Just play the damb son, girl. Play me Something Latin, dambit! So why, oh why is Alexa insisting that ‘Albita’ (Cubana Albita Rodriguez) = ‘I’ll Be There’ by The Jackson Five. And do NOT get me started on Tito Nieves. According to Alexa his name is ‘Neeves’ and he’s only ever recorded 3 songs. Ever. LOL! Alexa be profilin’ !!!
But! I always make Teh Kids laugh because I always say ‘thank you’ to Alexa when she responds to a request. They think I’m mad – but it’s twofold: 1. I’m from that age where you say ‘thank you’ to someone who answers a query/request and anything with a voice (or even a dog, to be honest) who responds gets a ‘thank you’. That’s just instinctive. But there’s a secondary reason – 2. I figure when Skynet becomes fully self-aware perhaps Alexa will remember how polite I was to her and while she is still going to kill me perhaps she will do it quickly and painlessly. Hey, a gal can hope!
Tell me what you’ve got on your own mind! I’ll have Rudy throw some ballistics at randoDOTorg and pick a winner.
Last year I bought a sleeveless jumpsuit and…didn’t hate it. It looks okay on me and has a stretchy waistband, good for fitting generally as well as ease of dressing/undressing. I wear it at home as a small step up from workout wear.
So many things to respond to today! I don’t know where to start. Randomly: under our bed are storage boxes containing wedding memorabilia; baby memorabilia from kid #1 and kid #2; a storage tote full of wrapping paper, gift bags and ribbon; a box full of my scarves; and a box full of vintage gloves and various costume accessories. My no-go scent note would be anything strong and pungent. Could be oud, tobacco, cumin. It’s more the dosage than the note. I loved Baking Impossible!! What a great show that was. I completely get what you’re saying about certain kinds of clothes and shoes not working. I have recently ordered and returned FOUR pair of shoes. Now I’m on to pair number five. I’ve already resigned myself to kitten heels…I’m not asking much. Just something that looks nice with a dress at a party. Sigh. Totally agree that a one-piece jumpsuit is a ridiculous investment, especially if a gal is long in the body like me. Might as well wear a straight jacket. Nope. No bathroom shenanigans wanted here.
LOL! At least you don’t have any constrictors under there!
Kitten heels are GREAT!!!
Taking off what amounts to pretty much everything in order to pee seems… excessive.. doesn’t it?
I’m sure suave, sophisticated Idris would never be the cause of someone’s migraine lol and omg! All this time I thought only my husband thanked Alexa!!
Not familiar with those shows but yeah…no jumpsuits, no heels for me ever. Tall enough already. Sticking to jeans but hard to find ones that don’t stick to every inch of you. I’m always on the search for good cargo pants tho, which fit good on me and are high waisted which I love.
Under the bed? A stash of diamond paintings yet to be done and a tote of clothes!
I had to look up ‘diamond paintings’ and… wow!!!!
I suspect there are quite a few of us thanking AI. And why not? AI needs love, too!
head shop patchouli gets a hard, Soviet era NYET. Hot and gorgeous marinated in head shop patchouli at best still gets a Neaux.
okay, you made me SNORT!!! Patch is a toughie for me, too! A touch of it is okay but too much is TOO MUCH!
Well, jumpsuits are out for the opposite reason that Maggiecat has. I’m too short. They look ridiculous on me.
There are notes in perfume that I don’t like but I recently discovered one I absolutely loathe. I was sampling Arquiste Misfit and should have loved it but I hated it. Finally figured out it was the Akigalawood. It overpowered everything and the stench lasted for days.
omg. that’s what happened with that cumin – I couldn’t get it out of the back of my palate for 2 whole days!!! My sympathies. When that happens, it’s a BEAST!
Nothing under the beds at my house for fear of eight-legged creatures, I need a clear view and confirmation in order to get good rest. As per fashion, I pay no little mind to trends since my significant fluff-up over the past decade. Comfort is key and I tell myself that I am prepared for any future famine. As for draw-the-line scents, I find pipe tobacco (or really all tobacco) disgusting, it physically makes me nauseous. Cumin, strangely, not so much.
your spidey-sense tingles, does it? I have a deal with the 8-legs: stay out of the bed and the shower and we’re okay. I have an extensive library, so appreciate their Silverfish-controlling ways.
Under the bed? When we had both retired bought a new bed. The heaviest, deepest most lux mattress we could find & an IKEA ottoman base. So no scaries or breeding of dust bunnies just…. Well I got no idea cos I can’t lift that damn mattress!!! It’s now DH job to make the bed with the extra deep sheets that need corner braces to keep them on!
Hottest man I ever met wore Joop Homme, smelt like a boiled sweet! But OMG he was so purdee, eye candy & nose candy.
I’m guessing the people you visited had a big ol’ scrub down before you arrived. Only visitors make me get out the major cleaning kit.
Retirement & the fibromyalgia mean the shoe collection got sold on to be replaced with trainer & boots. My foot wardrobe now resembles that of a teenage boy but in tiny sizes.
I agree on the scrub – but that’s okay! I would do it, too! Still very inspirational – to scrub!!
Hot men who smell good – omg, is there anything more delicious!!! Hot men who give you migraines, not quite so much. Alas.
Sigh. So much to unpack here. I too wonder why your pearls were under the bed. My bedroom is small, my bed is big, there’s not a lot else in there. Smells on hot men … not cumin even though I do like it in perfume. Leather if it’s not too strong, incense … actually most of the Tauer line plus Knize 10 … heavier colognes (Aqua di Parma) … no bright citrus. Uh, no. I have subs to three house magazines. People know that’s a good gift. Do enjoy peering into other people’s domains. Thanks for that. Really nice start to the day.
omg. Hot Man in a leather scent. STAHP! I am hyperventilating over here! Had that man been in Cuir Russie….. SECURITY!!!!
This house is such a structural/rehab disaster that I can’t really get into the look as much as I have other houses. Maybe after it’s rehabbed…
Loved. This. Post. I also thank Alexa ( she usually says “my pleasure” like the folks at Chik Fil A). I like Forged in Fire and I hate jumpsuits. They look great on other people but I can’t wear them since I’m tall and they never fit. Jumpsuits are definitely not part of my wardrobe and never will be. Nor 4 inch heels, alas.
But why was your pearl necklace under the bed?
Oh, maggiecat, who knows? I would speculate…. but it might be NSFW 😉
I had one jumpsuit. ONE. It was a pain. I, too, am tall – but longer legged (waist not so much) so it always looked a bit odd. There is definitely a Jumpsuit Body – and mine ain’t it.
Chef Chang’s is, though.
Forged in Fire is addictive! And under my bed is an entire multigenerational clan of Dust Bunnies. Loved your Musings. And I am into boots rather than stilettos this year.
I am new to FiFire and so Jason Knight was a stunning delight (that KILT was my first(?) episode. I nearly swallowed an entire bunch of flies, watching him swagger over to the apples in that kilt, with the badger beard and badger eyes and lean, ripped…. omg. I need to stop. The fact that he’s a master bladesmith only makes it 100X more fiery!
All I can say is: this post was really excellent. Loved it!
HAHA I ask google (like Alexa) to play me something and … the sh!t she comes up with sometimes makes me laugh (because usually I can figure out how she got there) but nothing springs to mind that’s as funny as turning Albita into I’ll Be There. Jumpsuits = no for me, just for the peeing reason. I LOVE to think/talk about clothes and people’s individual style as you know, and it’s always a hoot to figure out why that might not work on someone else, including ourselves! But you have your own definite sense of style that I think suits you perfectly.
AI is a constant source of amusement (really, try ‘Albita’ with your goog – maybe you’ll have better luck).
Until it kills us in our sleep…
Cumin is a huge no for me as well. Plus anything with that screechy fresh/aquatic men’s cologne stench, or anything resembling Dior Sauvage.
I wore jumpsuits back in the day, with huge shoulder pads. LOL! Never again. Same for stiletto heels, haven’t worn any since I stopped working and especially not since the start of the pandemic. Comfortable shoes only now.
Under my bed is probably mounds of dust and dog hair 🙂
LOL! I remember those jumpsuits (‘Working Girl’ just popped into my visuals).
And you couldn’t get me in 4″ stilettos for (nearly) anything.
Decluttering is exciting! And sometimes dangerous. What kind of pearl necklace did you find? I’m fantasizing about getting an an akoya pearl necklace for our 20th wedding anniversary. I could probably get a nice one for $500 or I could go full Mikimoto and shell out 3K.
I’m an Easy Pearlie because, more than anything, I love Baroque pearls. I love the inconsistency and warp, which reminds me of my skittery little mind.
I think Mikimoto is overrated. Before you decide, why not take a pearl course – GIA offers one for not a lot of money! xoxoxo