Yikes!
Sitting here, wrapped in fleece, stoned right the heck out of my mind…
Post-surgery, don’tchaknow.
I nearly forgot to post!
And. I. Am. Stoned! so whooo knows what you’re reading..
Off of Tramadol (which Autotrash insists on rewriting as Trampoline, so March and I have just given up.
“Are you off the Trampoline, yet?”
‘Yeah. Trying pain gummies (which totally work) so I can ‘ykw’ (because full anaesthesia is BINDALICIOUS!)
I got through the surgery, obvs, plus all my incipient fears did not come to pass
Consider:
I did not die on the table (it was a low-level fear but still)
Surgeon kept my bowel intact (a friend ended up on an ostomy bag because of a careless surgery, hence my terror)
He didn’t have to do an emergency Open Surgery. Just five little incisions, like a cute li’l Christmas tree!
After that? Smooth sailing.
Wait. did I tell you the surgery? Hysterectomy. Total. Dunno how they did it but they took ALL of that stuff out of a small (3″-4″!!) incision. Woooot! Now. THAT incision is still pretty hurty – but eh. For the first time in eons I’m not dragging my leg! And… there’s no longer any ‘there’ there! I. Don’t. Hurt!
Other than that, I got NUTHIN’ – because I am stoned. Except I am awash in No 5. My nerves are still a bit fragile and I simply cannot make any decisions regarding perfume or, well, pretty much anything. Mostly I drink water, drink Gingerade kombucha, eat an egg… and go back to sleep, mostly because I don’t want to do anything that would require ending back up in the OR… because that? That involves anaesthesia… and ain’t nobody wanting to do that twice. I can go back to the gym at the end of the week but I have to do … basically nothing (I can do treadmill/elliptical (the Old Lady elliptical) and that’s pretty much it. I’ll take it – providing that exit incision says it’s okay – I’m absolutely FINE letting her run the show right now.
Did I mention I’m awash in No5? Shower gel/body oil/body cream/ perfume. I feel like an Empress! A stoned Empress… but hey, that’s not so bad…
No 5 is perfect! ::and I got a compliment from one of the surgical nurses on the perfume (which was probably on my hair (?) or maybe just oozing out of my pores, like vodka.
Oh! It’s Hoth-level cold with 6″ of new-fallen snow (atop the couple feet we got a few weeks ago). Stuck in the house, I kinda got noshy.
enter my newfound savior:
These things are a LIFEsaver! 13 is the serving (huh) with 130 cals, total and a squickton of fiber. I can eat about … 8… plain and that’s pretty much all I need. Total satiety. and YUM! Vaguely bitter and fabulously interesting. I have Carolyn to thank for these (March is not a huge fan… but what does SHE know 😉 and I am forever grateful. I stocked up, pre-surgery and once I am back in Peoria I will restock. They’re ‘that’ kinda cracker – the one you can eat a couple of at 2a (my sleep is… off) and not regret it.
Okay – that’s it. I’m back to zzzzzzz! Sorry for this doofus post – but I promise I won’t be so lame next time around.
If you are not taking B complex on the regular, start now. No matter how tiny the incision or how quick the procedure, surgery and anesthesia are major stressors on the body and nervous system. Post op fatigue is for real and B complex is the antidote. Bromelain (a pineapple enzyme) tablets, taken on an empty stomach, are fab for reducing swelling finalize and out.
Enjoy your convalesence. You’re a champ…but take it easy, Sister Sagittarius!
That is INSIDE and out.
That’s EXCELLENT advice! I just popped a Super B tab, so it’s good to know how it can help with recovery!
Pineapple enzyme is on the way!
I second bromelain.
I am Sagittarius rising. Does that make me a cousin? 🙂
I’m so glad you are post op and on the mend. Your writing on trampoline cracks me up! You have a gift of expression.
I love that you exude No 5. That is my battle armor—good for tough meetings, funerals and whenever I feel marshmallow-y and need elegant steel. I will wear it and think of you tomorrow. Take it easy and let your innards knit properly. Electronic hugs and hopes for speedy healing.
Thank you, darling! I refuse to touch any of them directly… not quiiite yet… but I have Scar Gel and Vanicream on standby, for when they are closed!
No 5 FTW!!!
I am glad to read that you’re on the mend- these new surgeries are amazing- remove and deliver a new kidney through a cocktail straw. (well not quite)
Now I want you to do something normally impossible for you. Nothing. I suppose you can’t take a long hot bath until things have healed up a bit.
And hit up those good midwestern neighbors for some of those food packages. Even if there’s a possibility of Jello Salad in there.
No… but a hot shower works well!!!
And… ew! You KNOW that I have all my meal prep done! I’m not adding Too Many Carbs ( and not-scratch food – o! the sodium!!!) to my List of Anxieties
I am so glad that you came through ok. When I had gallbladder removal last year, it felt like I was kicked in the gut a few times. Glad that no 5 is working for you since it is wonderful!
And very glad to hear you bounced back from GB surgery!!!
So glad you got through it ok, Ms A. Please rest and look at the snow whilst smelling your gorgeous No5 self!
And yeah, anesthesia…but surgery would be hell without it!
Your last sentence made me laugh!!! Isn’t that where the expression – bite the bullet – came from, no anesthesia.
:: yikes!::
Thanks, Ms A(2)!!! It’s… ow… but nothing compared to how I felt 24/7 .
So I’ll take it!
As others have said regardless of minimal outside scarring your innards have taken a battering.
Gynae nurse advice, do the Kegel exercises every time you see, read or hear anything to go with Christmas. The muscles that need work now are the pelvic ones. Think of it as gym as home. Thank me later.
Oh this is a FABULOUS SUGGESTION
Huh! I’ll Do That!
Thanks!
Seriously did no one give you that advice prior to discharge?
Full pelvic floor exercises are recommended after around 6 weeks post op. For now simply finding your pelvic muscles again & gently lifting them will be enough.
Honey! The only people happier than me to throw me out was them!
I see surgeon for post-op in 30 days so it’s on my list – but I’m starting NOW!
Thanks!
Gently does it. A gentle engage & lift, nothing fancy yet.
Congratulations on the yeeterus manouevres. I was there last autumn, with all the trimmings. Everything out. And blimey, but once the surgical pain had shut up it was… silence. No howling pain. Nothing. No action. Blissful dullsville. I hope you get the same relief, and the smoothest recovery.
(The annoying small reminder: though there are only small incisions on the outside, there was an awful lot of slicing and dicing on the inside. Please be gentle with yourself. Oh, and try not to sneeze for a few days because that is a weirdness!)
EVERYTHING you said, crikey, I’m following!
As I said to March
‘I’ve got nuthin’ to prove’
Also… I am SO glad you got the pain relief!
Uteri are great!
… until they’re not
Wow, that’s some something. Heal well and quickly.
And I will just leave you to sleep with Bob Dylan Rainy Day Women No 12 & 35: “Everyone must get stoned”.
Definitely Team Bob Dylan!
I am THRILLED you had this surgery and I hope once you get over the surgical healing that your chronic pain is gone. And your weather is an absolute nightmare but I dunno, it’s certainly encouraging you to stay home and take it easy! I’m not sure we could trust you with a sunny 55 degree day.
Well…I’d like to think I’m not That Girl
… but ya nebber know 😉
And pain’s already gone ! Because there’s nothing there. Squeeee!
Hey stoned Empress. I’m very glad you got through everything ok! Your munchies look good and No. 5 c’est magnifique (cheated and used translator). Take it easy for a while, stay warm, and heal well.
I promise! I really hate anaesthesia
Heal up quick Musette,
We are cheering you on across the seas.
Stoned and smelling like CHANEL No 5. You are doing OKAY!
HUG
Portia xx
NO HUG!
( heee hee! )
You can ( and WILL) hug me after this is all healed up!!!
Xoxo
You could never be lame! And you smell fabulous!
Tramadol is pretty much a staple in my life, and autocorrect does do weird things to it. Until all your devices learn it because, well, chronic pain.
Rest and be well.
DagNABBIT! Maggiecat!
Wishing you OFF! the Trampoline, living a pain-free life!
Dear Anita Musette,
So glad you came through surgery well and are on that recovery road now. Follow orders and rest well. You smell fabulous. Sending love!
Thank you, darling!
I hope your recovery is easy, Musette.
So far, so good! I got over the ‘ whaddayaMEAN I can’t do X?’ astonishingly quick! The exit incision is Speaking Up, loud and clear, for all the quieter incisions and stitches, saving me from being stupid.
Glad it turned out well and you are on the mend! Take it easy for at least a few weeks, no matter how small the incisions are, it’s still major surgery.
Yes, ma’am!!! Those small incisions are deceptive.
Until they’re not.
Best wishes for a speedy recovery! Hug a pillow on your way home: it will help you deal with bumps in the road! My friend made an appointment for the gynecologist 1 yr after her hysterectomy. There was no “there” there. She didn’t realize she no longer needs the gyn, just the mammo! Smooth sailing for you from now on. Best wishes!
Lol! Old habits die hard!