Friday Fancies

1) The cover of my new issue of Vogue has a photo of Jennifer Aniston and it says, “Don’t Feel Sorry For Me!” Well, okay, hon. I mean, Brad did dump you (he of the refined design aesthetics who sneered at your comfy-couch boho-Victorian style) for that big-lipped bimbo who just happens to be spread all over the inside of this issue, the new model for St. John, looking for all the world like she’s trying to remember how many orgasms she’s had today, or possibly where she left the keys to the Mercedes (are these thoughts connected?) And he knocked her up and you can’t even tell in those pics. But you’re right. I’m already bored with your new role as jilted celebrity wifey, consoling yourself with the cover of Vogue. You’re right, I don’t feel sorry for you.

2) I want the old Pier 1 Imports back. The new Pier 1 is a downscale Pottery Barn, with cheaply made furniture, candles in scents I don’t want, and wall art I don’t like. I want my funky old Pier 1 with that fell-off-the-ship hodgepodge of hemp clothing, ancient powdery teas, mystery spice bags, ratty posters, weird creepy wood bibelots, etc. Not because I really need any of that stuff. I just miss the smell. If you could bottle the unique, spicy, musty, foreign smell of the Original Pier One, I’d be first in line to buy it. I’d use it as a room spray. They don’t even carry baskets any more. Yeesh.

3) What is going on with the super-sizing of soap bars? It’s like a 32-oz. Coke … no wonder I buy so many guest soaps, at least I can pick them up! Wielding one of those new giant soaps in the bath is like trying to keep a grip on a greased brick.

4) Finally, new on the Rose Love Front: I have decided that powder is not something I love with my rose, although objectively it’s beautiful (think Lipstick Rose). My newest Rose Love (thanks, Patty, you enabler! mwah!) is Serge Lutens Rose de Nuit, which is deeply animalic, a filthy, drrrrty thing that curled up in my ear and whispered sexy obscenities to me for hours. It is so magnificently skanky I am guessing this was not a great love for Patty.

5) I was stumbling around our local Anthropologie looking at all their cool stuff, which includes not just unusual bath soaps and lotions but often fragrances I’ve never seen elsewhere. On this trip there were some L’Aromarines (which, okay, I have seen elsewhere), and three different Oilily scents (who knew?), all of which were fun enough that maybe I’ll review them as a set sometime, and one of which, Papillon, I especially liked — a lily and tart cherry combo that absolutely works. But the best find was Paul & Joe Bleu Eau De Toilette (30ml). Robin at NST actually reviewed the other one, Paul & Joe Blanc, which was very pretty but which I couldn’t pick out of a spring-floral lineup, so to speak. Bleu actually got me to stop, turn around, and go back across the cluttered store, trawling for the bottle (um, excuse me, does this smell familiar, what the hell did I just try on?!?)

Notes: Bergamot, Cilantro, Caraway, Cardamom, Ylang-Ylang, Jasmine, Rose, Magnolia, Heliotrope, Patchouli, Vetiver, Oud, Myrrh, Sandalwood, Incense, Vanilla, Ambergris.

I think this would be a bit much in the middle of summer, but (bear with me here) it had the olfactory resonance of sassafras. What I mean is, it didn’t smell like sassafras, but it had roughly the same level of root-beer-ish refreshment factor, and about the same weight. I liked it because it was interesting, and quite pleasant along the same general lines as, say, a cucumber cologne, but with more legitimate-perfume depth and complexity. As my aunt would say, nifty. Definitely a unisexy fragrance, too. The guy at the POST OFFICE said, you smell wonderful! Postscript: 1) The Big Cheese, who mostly doesn’t comment on my ever-changing reek, said hey, that smells really good. 2) The scary part? After a couple of hours I thought, that smells a tiny bit like my friend Chergui. So I sprayed some on the other arm for a comparison. I am probably going to get myself drummed out of the perfume corps as an drooling idiot, but here it is: I liked the Bleu better. It’s not as sweet on my skin, and a little green.

  • March says:

    Patty — so you’re saying you don’t like it?:o

  • Patty says:

    March, that Bleu thing did NOT work out for me. I felt like I’d just stumbled onto a skunk in the middle of the night and it sprayed me before I could flee.

  • Marina says:

    Good point! I haven’t looked at it that way before. You are right!

  • Katie says:

    Oh thank you for the link! I think I should stalk out ebay perhaps as well. That Orange Stripes one is so cute, and I want, despite the fact that the notes sound wrong for me. Dunno about the Blue Crystal – just from the sounds of it, I can already see how it will play out disappointingly, I am afraid. It’s the lotv with those particular fruits that I think will smell cheap to me.

    Oh look! Speaking of soaps and Oilily:

    Gah! And this is so cute too:

    Dammit, I am sorry – I have to get away from the ebay! It’s a perilous place…

  • March says:

    Katie, that’s hilarious, you just made the same comment about dropping one on your foot (great minds etc.) For the Oilily, googling images I found:

    Check the price — $22! The others I smelled were Spanish Rose (too musky) and Voyage (nice but dull). But I think the Blue Crystal and the Orange sound good, and they are adorable, aren’t they?

  • March says:

    Christina — I’ve started cutting the really big soap bars in half. How pathetic is that? I’m afraid I’m going to drop one and break my toe.

  • March says:

    Patty — I am so WRONG about Nuit?!?! That just cracks me up. I had completely mis-read your Skank Radar.:p
    Wow, it must be fun to try stuff on with your sister. Did you score any great new sniffage?

  • March says:

    Marina — I’ve read interviews with her, and she sounds like a genuinely nice, smart, decent person. So what bugs me is that she seems weirdly invested in her own victimhood, a role basically assigned by the press. When she says (as she has over and over again) Don’t feel sorry for me, she’s implying that there’s a reason we SHOULD feel sorry for her. It’s a sexist fiction: The Spurned Woman. Why not take the approach of look buddy, I’m a rich, powerful, gorgeous, successful actress and I don’t need a man to make me whole, and when I need bedding I’ve got Vince and 50 other guys lined up! (I know, I’m over-thinking this.)

    Re the Bleu — it really was a neat, different fragrance.

  • Katie says:

    Oh lordy do I need that Oilily! I don’t even care what it smells like! That bottle is pinch-your-cheeks adorable. I don’t suppose you know where I might find it online at all do you?

    And I know exactly what you mean about the soap – just how the hell dirty do they really think WE think we are??? I think this is in part why I am so enamored of the PdP mini-cakes of their soaps. I mean, I love their scents, but it’s the fact that I won’t drop it on my foot in the shower and break it that is nice, too. Also, a smaller cake gets used up faster and that’s way more sanitary. Your greasy brick line is hilarious.

  • Christina H. says:

    I completely agree about the greased brick size soaps!!You’ve got to have some huge man hands to hold onto them!Irritating.

  • Patty says:

    Well, there’s a few new lemming foeti ready to be born shortly.

    BTW, I *adore* Rose de Nuit. Animal and rose works together for me. It’s just when you toss in powder on the skank that I have trouble.

    My sist tried my Coup de Fouet this morning and has pronounced it “the best scent ever made in the world and history,” and then you can tell why we are sisters. And the Vetiver Tonka came in second best.

  • Marina says:

    Someone is grumpy this morning!
    (poor sweet jennifer Aniston!)

    P&J Bleu has been on my To Try list for ever. I rather disliked their Blanc though, but this…this sounds different and very appealing!