March likes the Viennese prisons

This is from our intrepid field reporter, March, from Vienna:

I went into a place on the Graben, which is near the Stephanplatz (the tourist center of town), across from the Knize store (which is cool Loos architecture), sniffing around in there through the Floris and the Dior and the Shiseido FdeB, and — there it was! Sitting on the shelf behind the cash register — that Mugler Perfume Coffret.

I waited and waited (the Viennese are exceedingly helpful and friendly) but in their defense, they were SLAMMEd. So eventually I … picked up one of the bottles in the coffret. They are TINY — the size of a small eyeshadow container? I smelled them frantically, waiting for someone to notice what I was doing… they are every bit as peculiar as the JARs.

I am winging the names of the individual scents a little — the “smell of humanity” was what you´d expect — like sniffing the Paris gutters. “Orgy” was pretty much the precise smell of post-coital .. well, you know. I mean, wow, how many mods did they sniff to come up with THAT?

Okay, here are my notes as I scribbled them down re the Mugler coffret:

  • Orgy — sex (sperm)
  • Human Condition — filth
  • Salon Rouge — musky and sweet
  • Sea — saltwater and … flesh (creepy)
  • Nuits de Josephine (?) winey sweetness and armpit

and that´s precisely the point at which three clerks simultaneously rushed me waving their hands and bellowing something like “nicht propio!” which (here, let me take a wild guess at the translation) I´m thinking means “don´t touch!” and only their amazing Viennese manners kept them from hitting me with a box and hurling me out the door… so. There you go. The box is approximately the size of a shoebox and thus there is a fair amount of empty space, not sure about the rest of the packaging. I think the external cardboard pkg is a slip-on sleeve… it was great fun to hold those wee bottles in my hand. BTW Nuits de Josephine was ALMOST empty, so either it had been spilled (the bottles are glass stoppered) or it´s the favorite.

From Patty: I am just so proud of her, risking an internation incident to get us all a sniff of that coffret.

This week’s giveaway! How about a sample of your choice (you can look and see what I have or ask if I have it, which I have too much stuff!). Just drop a note in the comments. I’ll do the drawing from last week as soon as my bottle of Fleur de Narcisse shows up!

  • hausvonstone says:

    if it’s not tooo late, enter me please. i’m off to vienna thurs and will try to find the secret store. i will say the magic words “nicht propio” and then i will sniff with glee!

  • Oscar says:

    Lol..Great story;)
    I’d also love to be entered in the drawing..

  • tmp00 says:

    March- I bow before you: you have more guts than anyone I know! =d> ^:)^

    Yes, please enter me in the drawing

  • Josey says:

    Please enter me! :d

    I’m most excited about Aura…that one’s gotta be at least decent since they’re going to release it on the mass market.

  • Diana says:

    Reportage from Vienna — what a treat!

    Please enter me in the drawing. Thanks!:)

  • Dana says:

    I’m new here… but wow, do you guys know how to have fun!

    Please enter me in the drawing.
    Thank you!

  • Veronica says:

    March likes Viennese prisons. Who doesn’t? Three squares a day and all the coffee and sacher torte you can eat. Martha Stewart would have died to get into one of their correctional facilities.

    Please enter me in the contest. Thanks!

  • Anne says:

    OMG, a kid in a cand…. no, oh I mean a crazed frag fanatic loose in a perfume store. Yes I would love to be in that drawing. Love this blog!

  • benvenuta says:

    You are in Vienna! I`m so behind the news! Vienna is one of my favorite cities.
    Is a visit of Duft und Kultur boutique, Tuchlaben 17, in your plans? That`s the best place for niche fragrance in Vienna, AFAIK. It`s less than 10 minutes walk from the Stephansdom.
    Um,yes, I`d like to be included in the drawing.

  • Emily says:

    Please eneter me in the drawing.

  • zara says:

    oh boy! what a venture. i wouldn’t dare that 🙂

  • violetnoir says:

    Intrepid she is indeed! <:-p Hip, hip hooray, for March! Hugs!

  • Lisa S says:

    Well done March! Spoofume awards you the golden trenchcoat and fedora award for international perfumery espionage in service to the betterment of humanity.

    And I would love to be entered in your drawing.

  • Ina says:

    March, what a blast! Behave yourself! :d

  • Twibbet says:

    Me too for the drawing! Wow, so many possibilities…[-o<

  • M.C. says:

    I would also like to be included in the drawing!

  • Solander says:

    Ooh, me too please!
    I’d love to smell that coiffret…

  • kuri says:

    Laf, March is very brave. Please enter me in the drawing!

  • sybil says:

    Fortune favors the bold, March! Excellent work on your part…a little rulebending is always a good thing. Please put me in the drawing, Patty.

  • Anna says:

    TeeHee, an international incident!! I can imagine trying to explain it to the American consulate…Thank you to March for giving us all a vicarious thrill!!=d>

    Oh and of course please enter me in the drawing. You are so kind!

  • Judith says:

    Oh, yay!! Go March! It’s wonderful to get a hands-on (nose-on) report of the coffert. Sounds fascinating! I hope you are having a wonderful time. And I would love to be entered in the drawing!

  • Elle says:

    Wow!! Super impressed, March! I think you deserve the perfumista equivalent of a Purple Heart – maybe a little MKK shaped pin? A Daliesque nose? Thanks for risking all to report to us.^:)^

  • Jo says:

    Please enter me in the drawing. And enjoy your trip!!

  • chayaruchama says:

    May I join?

    I can just visualize our naughty darling caught in flagrante delicto with those bottles…

  • Leopoldo says:

    March – brilliant! I imagine the Viennese sense of decorum would have been even more challenged had you dabbed ‘Orgy’ on your pulse points, and added a drop of ‘Human Condition’ for good measure. Tasty! ‘Sea’ sounds fascinating…

    I’d love the pick of the samples, Patty, my darling.

  • Alica says:

    Hi, I would like to be included in the drawing…….should I be drawn, it would be very complocate to choose 😉