Might as Well be Walkin on the Sun

In the white weeping birch tree in our back yard is a noose, and the noose branch hangs into the alley. Why do we have a noose on that tree? Ask Harrison Mackenzie, my 16-year-old Guitar Rock God (GRG) son, he put it there. His friends came over a couple of weeks ago to work on a school project, which translates to… “we’re making a movie, Mom!” meaning they took the fog machine, my DVD movie camera, opened up the garage door and put a cloud of fog over just our block which the neighbors were not as amused by as I was.

While making the movie, his friend, Chris, spied the noose and thought it would be fun to “hang himself,” for film. He’s pretty small, and he jumped up on the wood fence next to the noose, stuck his head through and then…. slipped. Harry and his friends were not paying attention when he slipped, but he must have kicked one of them or gurgled, and he was able to get his footing and prevent a hangin’.

Queue up “One Man, hangin From a Tree, but that don’t bother me… at all. Mason Proffit, Come & Gone, 1974. Love that album, hadn’t thought about that in ten years.

Did I know about the noose incident at the time? Um, no. This whole story was just related to me recently. At least he didn’t wait as long as my brothers and sister and I did to tell our mom about taking a lit kerosene lantern into our straw bale tunnel up in the hayloft of the barn. I asked the GRG what he would have done if Chris had accidentally hanged himself and it was up to him to explain the accident to Chris’ parents. The response: “I would have just thrown the body into traffic and told his parents that’s how he got killed.” This must be payback for when I sent Alex into school in 5th grade with Dorothy Parker’s Resume for one of the poetry memorization days.

Understand teenagers? ….Might as well be walkin on the sun.

There’s a little black box on my desk, and inside of it are some very rare and hard to find samples — Hermes Doblis, both the original Djedi and the reissue, Chaos, vintage Rumeur, Parfum Sacre extrait, Jil Sander No. 4 parfum, Fendi Theorema extrait, Andy Tauer’s new lavender mod — mostly things I’ve gotten from kind friends. I cherish this box, it is my little idea of heaven, and I open it regularly and paw through its contents, sniffing some vials, and then guard it as The Precccciouuuussss it is. While comparing the two Djedis, sniffing Jolie Madame vintage, I just dream about finding that mislabled Caron Voeu de Noel on eBay for a song. Voeu de Neol is, quite simply, Nuit de Noel going Supernova. Caron really needs to consider doing this one again, even for a brief limited edition run.

Running the Jil Sander No. 4 parfum under my nose, it just transports me. If you think the EDP of this is great, you should smell the parfum. It is absolutely heart-stopping in its beauty and will render you speechless. In all the places that are trailing florals in the EDP, there is a depth and some naughty bits that are surprising and haunting.

This box is my magical world, full of the rare, the old, the exquiste, the amounts are teeny and impossible to get more of, which should really make me sad and melancholy, but it is quite the opposite — it makes me deliriously happy. Understand this obsession? …. Might as well be walking on the sun.

On a less obscure note, Candle Delirium (my favorite online candle spot) has the new Modern Alchemy candles from D.L & Co. Okay, get a load of a couple of these. Boston Tea Party, notes of English black tea, cedar and blackish seaweed absolute. Dia de Los Muertos (Day of the Dead, hey, that’s coming up in a couple of months), with notes of marigolds, frankincense. Ex Libris, infused with scents of antiquated leather-bound volumes of handsome papers and parchment permeate (HUH?!?!?). Opium Den, smouldering raisins, opiates and tobacco. Salem, notes of New England maple (not some other inferior maple from some lesser states), hickory and walnut. Tincture and Winchester, notes of wood stock, 19th century lacquer and smoky gunpowder.

Okay, I list all of there here because at $50 per candle, I just CAN’T buy all of these myself, you guys have to help. I’ll get three, the Dia, Boston Tea party and the Tincture weirdo one. Iam a huge gun nut (farm upbringing, there was a pistol or rifle in every pickup), and something with gunpowder in it has me beyond curious into obsessed. Come on, Your Fragrance Blog NEEDS You! I wish I were clever like Katie and could come up with a graphic that would illustrate how much!

  • Patty says:

    Gaia, I’m not sure. I think it’s not discontinued or that they had enough of it laying around that it doesn’t appear to be. It’s a classic and they really ought to make the extrait/parfum of it, maybe do a packaging update and relaunch.

  • Patty says:

    Hi, Patricia, the parfum is apparently very hard to find. Not sure if they aren’t making it or what, but I’d bet on that to be the case. So the EDP is close, but the parfum is just a whole nother level of gorgeous.

    You can join us in eBay stalking to hope some eventually shows up. 🙂

  • Patty says:

    Oh, thank you, Chaya, love you back!

  • Patty says:

    Robin, you should get it, or you can wait until mine shows up next week and I’ll let you know if they are worth it?

  • Patty says:

    Emotenote — you wait. First the prank calls, then the worse stuff. 🙂 It’s really very fun, except when they scare me like that. That sucks all the fun right out of the room. :-w

  • Patty says:

    Minette, I know. I’m glad I didn’t know at the time, it would have scare me witless, and I know it scared Harry. It just never occurred to him that any of his friends were that dim to put the thing around their neck.

    Teenage boys, how they survive to reproduce really is a mystery.

  • Patty says:

    I know, Maria! I have heard somewhere that the actual scent is still made for Italy, which is why the bottle supply stays halfway decent, so we can always hope that someone will may be give it a better name and march that extrait back onto the market.

  • This confirms what I always knew: teenagers are scary. When I used to teach math I refused to go beyond sixth grade, though I’m certified to teach up to ninth *shudders*.
    Jil Sander 4 in parfum??? I didn’t know it ever existed and I love the EdP so much (not that it’s easy to get nowadays). I know that Coty bought JS, but have they discontinued no. 4?

  • Patricia says:

    😕 I have a newbie question. I have a Jil Sander No. 4 mini, it is edp, are you talking about pure parfum? And where can that be found? I googled but only got EDP’s? Inquiring fragrance fanatic wants to know!!! Thank you.

  • chayaruchama says:

    Do I love you?
    You bet your sweet farmer’s daughter’s ass I do.
    It’s amazing that we don’t get free head transplants w/ teens.

    ‘Course, in ’72, we had a MAGNIFICENT mop-pusher I named “Happy”-
    I think Happy must have been some PTSD survivor, poor man.
    I always claimed that some well-meaning doc had poked a screwdriver into our right orbits- henceforth, we’ve been mild-mannered and docile ever since…

    The little box is a haven of delight.

    For all the good you do others, may it boomerang back your way, with interest.

  • Robin says:

    Sorry I looked at the Tincture & Winchester candle, now I want one badly.

  • Emotenote says:

    Oh man, I can so wait for teenagehood. My 6 year old just started making crank calls today with a friend, luckily only to me and the friends house before I caught them. AND they came up with the idea ALL BY THEMSELVES!

    My collection doesn’t yet extend to any rare treasures, except in the personal way, but they do live in a cool aluminum compartment box that looks like a secret spy case.

  • minette says:

    maybe i’ve worked around a newsroom too long, but your son’s accidental and happily ended hanging only made think of the 10-year-old boy here who successfully hanged himself after watching Saddam Hussein’s hanging. too close.

    the candles sounds as if they were concocted and named by a perfumista/o. if i were a bigger candle nut i’d go in on some, but it’s not my thang. enjoy, though! m

  • Maria B. says:

    Oh, Patty, your description of the Theorema extrait makes me swoon. Bad Fendi, bad, for discontinuing such a lovely fragrance. :((

    I hope March’s silver bowls have covers. My perfume treasure boxes are very utilitarian, but, man, they keep those harmful sun rays out.

  • Patty says:

    Lauren, yes! I’ll wait until you get independently wealthy.

    I went and upgraded by little treasure box. The box has gotten too small and needs to be fancier. So I’ve got a really pretty leather box coming. 🙂

  • Patty says:

    Maria, the Theorema extrait is just deeper, more spiced oranges in wood on the open. Boy, I wish I could explain it better. Where the EDP is brighter, the extrait is richer and mellow, it seems blended to perfection.

    I did do the Havana candle, the Archipeligo one, and it is wonderful. It’s probably my favorite out of that batch, though the True Wheat one is fairly spectacular as well.

    Most disappointeing candles for those too high priced ones? The L’Artisan.

  • Patty says:

    Oh, R, I know. I had to laugh because the alternative was terrifying. Luckily, it’s not a very strong tree, and the branch would not have taken much thrashing about, but the noose has come down. Umbrella policy, definitely, nobody can exist practically without it, and especially having teenagers who they and their friends are prone to do absolutely ridiculous, idiotic things.

    I’m with your friend on the Jil parfum. The EDP is pretty enough, but the parfum is outstanding. How can we get them to bring it back, I wonder?

  • Patty says:

    Sariah, you need a really nice box, it somehow gives you the proper mood when sniffing some of these beautiful, unique and rare things. My goal is to collect more things, and I’m going to need a bigger, nicer box!

  • Patty says:

    Marina, I know. YOu should have heard the rest of the conversation, which was even worse. You wait… growing people is really hysterically funny and terrifying most of the time.

  • Patty says:

    Annie, you are so funny! You need to fill that little bowl, that should be your mission in 2007. Nothing is quite so decadent as sniffing through the last century in one little box. It’s complete and utter joy.

  • Patty says:

    E — make sure you get the BIG fog machine. We had a small one before, but it wimps out all the time. Harry and I split the cost of the big one, and it can seriously pump out fog. We could use this for stage productions, and it will fill our backyard with fog in less than a minute. It’s awwwwwwweesome!!!

    Hey, you, stay off my eBay search for the Jil 4 parfum! :(( Okay, let’s make a pact, if some is ever found, we can split it?

    I hear you on the candle budget. But I’m going to have to try all of them, since you guys are not helping out, so I’ll report back in.

  • Patty says:

    March, you need a box. A really pretty box. I need to upgrade mine. Silver bowls are too informal!

    I wish I had more of the 4 parfum. Wait, I might have enough to do a couple of drops, but are you sure? Smelling it is noting but an invitation for bitter regret that we did not all buy up the parfum when Jil was in full swing.

  • Patty says:

    L – I actually do understand the teens as well as I can, and they even make sense, but only in a cock your head and look cross-eyed way.

    Opiate addict, that’s what I was meant to be, but this responsibility thing really mucked up my Life Plan horribly.

  • Lauren says:

    Wow, that noose story was mighty scary. Now I’m racking my memory trying to remember if I or friends ever had an idiot near-death experience. I can’t think of one right now except for many dumb near-misses while driving.

    I love the idea of a Precccciiouss. It’ll be fun to create and fill.

    And if I ever win fabulous amounts of money I will give you a candle stipend and buy myself Lady Rhubarb (for the name) and Salem.

  • Maria B. says:

    Oh, Patty, what is the Theorema extrait like? Just let me put my head back and sniff vicariously. How I love the Theorema EdP! The parfum must be wondrous.

    Getting a candle called Ex Libris would be like coals to Newcastle for me. I live surrounded by bookshelves full of books, book piles on the floor, and boxes and boxes of books. I’ve sometimes considered getting the DH a bottle of CB In the Library as a joke. The books, however, are both our faults.

    I’m curious about whether you did buy the Archipelago Botanicals Havana candle you mentioned a while back. I discovered that candle couple of years ago. Initially I got interested in it because it was named after the city where I was born. I was surprised when it turned out I really liked its luscious self.

  • violetnoir says:

    Patty, putting my recovered attorney hat on, I have one thing to say: I hope you and your husband have a large umbrella insurance policy. I want to laugh at what happened, but looking at it from a liability standpoint, well I’ve reduced my full on laugh to a weak smile. Sorry, darling!

    Anyway, I love your magical box of fragrance wonders. My dear friend, H, loves Jil Sander No. 4, and has been looking for the parfum for years. And, Chaos…well, that’s a whole other story that I will have to tell you one day.


  • sariah says:

    Hey P – I’m with you on the Jil #4. It’s a real “perfume” perfume, if you know what I mean. I only wear it for special occasions – it just doesn’t suit every day – I need to be dressed up. I don’t do that often enough these days! My “treasure box” is an empty mints tin – maybe I should put them in something nicer, they do deserve it.

  • Marina says:

    I am sorry but it is so funny, Patty! Thank you for brightening my morning with the noose story :d

  • Annie says:

    Weeeell…the problem is….my lil’ silver bowl is EMPTY,except for a single 3/4 gone vintage Jolie Madame(LOVE),and I have to keep entering yer’ dang drawings,as it needs to be filled to the brim(I’m a “bit” compulsive)to keep me happy.AND with your Best of 2006 I had to buy a new steno pad to keep it all straight..geesh…even ordered the Armani foundation,and have started the Bikram yoga,have ear-marked about 40 perf. samples on e-bay…ACK….I’m almost lemming-ed to death here(((shudders with delight)))….I’m waiting for my deathbed for a vat of chocolate martinis…I’m drooling as I dream of them,while holding my diabetes at bay….when I was a kid,we jumped off the roof daily after school, fell through the top floor in the hayloft,and hit the ground often from our horses…we never told anyone…and we’re all still here…and old-uh mature…carry on ladies.

  • Elle says:

    A fog machine? Wow. How irresistibly fun. I’ve never even known anyone who had one. I’m afraid I’d be upsetting the neighbors w/ it as well. The inner teenager emerges. 🙂
    Jill Sander #4 parfum???? Oh, no!! Major quest has just started. And Voeu de Noel is so gorgeous it makes me weep. If Caron would only bring it back I’d be immediately chatting w/ the devil about my soul’s price in order to stockpile it.
    Which brings me to why w/ a financial noose around my neck I must *not* give into the temptation to *immediately* purchase Ex Libris and Opium Den, which totally have my name on them. It’s deeply painful to be both a perfume and candle sl*t w/out an unlimited budget.

  • March says:

    Oh, the little Box of Wonders!!! (Actually, mine is a little silver bowl.) In my eccentric sample system, there’s the Things to be Smelled (a rather large bowl), the Things I’ve Filed (alphabetically, sort of). But the Bowl of Wonders — those are the things I need to keep out for regular sniffage.

    PS We did set the enormous leaf pile in front of our house on fire one year, playing with the magnifying glass. The results were spectacular, but not anywhere near as potentially terrible as a haybarn.

    PPS How do any of them live to college and/or spawn? (slaps head)

    PPPS You are slaying me with the No. 4 parfum, considering how much I like the EDP.

  • Leopoldo says:

    I’m rather dubiously chuckling at the classic teen response to an accidental death. The reality I imagine would be somewhat different. But I’m currently paid, I guess, to understand teens. And I kind of do. Soon, when I’m no longer doing this same work, I hope to roll my eyes and shake my head in befuddlement.

    I have a little box of magic too – wondrous, innit?

    If I was Stateside, I’d go for Opium Den like a shot. I’ve always imagined myself as a fin de siecle decadent rather than a rural high school English teacher…