Exotic Shemale

Our spam filter caught 1068 spams in a 20-day period recently, mostly pornographic, including the one that inspired the title of today´s post (I guess that´s in contrast to your prosaic, workaday shemale). Anyway, for those of you (pitbullfriend, etc.) who´ve been mistakenly caught by the filter – if it makes you feel any better, I am now routinely identified as a spammer on my own blog. The same thing just happened to me on Made By Blog. Is there a message here? Can the spam filter see into my soul? If your comment goes *poof* – you´ve just been filtered. Contact Us and we can undelete it. Next time it happens to me, I´m going to experiment with changing comment identities and see if that helps.

I´d like to start off today´s Candy with a review of Le Labo Aldehyde 44 – a fragrance so exclusive that it´s sold only at Barneys in Dallas, so you can´t have any unless you live in Dallas. Because it´s exclusive – it excludes you. Okay, maybe you can have some if you live near Dallas and can drive there. Or if you fly through Dallas on business – or, if you have friend in or near Dallas, or know someone who flies there on business. Or, if you sign on for a bottle split (thanks Amy!), which is how I got my sample. Or, if you live anywhere in the United States, you can buy a sample on eBay, because it´s just that exclusive.

I had my makeup done at a Clinique counter in Dallas years ago, going for something typically Clinique (youthful and subtle), and emerged into the daylight looking like one of those exotic shemales in a Robert Palmer video from the 80s. In my hometown of Washington, D.C., it would be just the opposite: you could go to the fly girls at M.A.C., or sidle up to the goth SAs selling a new Dior makeup line called Midnight Strumpet, and ask for Full Face, and you´d still emerge looking fresh and ready for a game of tennis at the club …. where was I? The truth is, I love Aldehyde 44, which breaks new ground by being all about the aldehydes and not much else. It doesn´t go anywhere, it doesn´t do anything, it just sits there and shimmers like a bottomless glass of champagne, and what is not to love about that? It´s …. aldehydes. Okay, trying again with something less stupid-sounding: it´s not perfume-y. It´s not an aldehydic opening grafted onto anything, like the wonderful opening of Piguet Baghari, which then goes on to become a different fragrance – a fragrance with strong references to a vintage classic. 44 has a more contemporary feel, but it manages not to veer in the other, too-powdery direction either. It´s a study on a single smell, although it is not in any way simple – in fact, I think the “44” refers to the ingredients list, and it feels quite complex. There are some sort of white florals in there (jasmine?), and maybe that´s part of what makes the aldehydes feel so beautifully balanced.

KISS Her: from the ULTA website, “features top notes of apple-tini, wet fig leaves, racy bull accord and red peppercorns followed by middle notes of red poppy, black orchid, sueded frangipani petals and calla lily. Base notes of amber crystals, musky bare skin accord, patent leather and mahogany give the scent a sensual finish.” Yeah, whatever. I am old enough to remember this goofball band (pictured at the top in their KISS stage makeup), and I really wanted to love this – come on, wet fig leaves and racy bull accord? They could get away with something pretty weird, right? My first draft looked something like this: “a sour-fruit, fresh accord that dries down into an extremely familiar musky skin scent that´s not very interesting.” Then I spent several days sniffing things to identify which skin scent this is a blatant ripoff of. Guess what? I can´t find it; in fact, the more I sniffed, the better I liked KISS Her. It´s not “me:” put another way, it´s not a bitter, jaded 40-something with a not-so-secret soft side. It´s fresh, fairly subtle, and does, indeed, smell of warm skin. It´s like a white cotton camisole on a lovely 22-year-old girl. Maybe it´s the hormones talking, but KISS Her’s almost anti-glam charm won me over completely.

KISS Him: again from Ulta: “top notes of bergamot, white pepper, anise and black cumin over mid notes of lavender, cypress, dark rum and fir balsam. The scent closes on masculine base notes of sandalwood, tonka, moss and honeyed amber crystals.” Now this was totally weird, and I wish some more guys would try it and report back on Basenotes, but maybe it´s just too déclassé for your averages Basenotes guy? I mean, would you men die of shame if someone saw this on your sink? Oh, look! Three guys have tried it on Basenotes, and as one of them said, “I saw this in Dillards and laughed… until I smelled it.” A peppery stankfest of cumin, cypress and sandalwood, this smells like sweat, but clean sweat. Like a hot young guy in a tee shirt. Like Harry Potter in Equus. Okay, thinking about something else now. Guys: maybe you could hide the bottle in your underwear drawer? Women: if you liked Kingdom, or Femme (reorchestrated), but want something a little more butch, this is for you.

Annick Goutal Chene Imperiale – I can´t find out anything at all about this. I assume it´s a home fragrance. It´s smoke and earth, with a faint breath of florals. On the campfire scale it´s somewhere between the new Kolnisch Juchten and Diptyque John Galliano. Stunning.

Heeley Cardinal — notes via Luckyscent are: incense, cistus, grey amber, patchouli, vetiver. Every time I put this on I think, maybe you can have too many incense scents. This one makes me think: so what? I need another incense frag like I need a third eye (or another kid; a third arm would be helpful, because then I’d have somewhere else to try scents.) Then I make my little squinchy-face and get back to my regularly scheduled life. Maybe four or six hours later I get a whiff of myself and think, wow, what is that great fragrance? And I realize it’s Cardinal, which almost fits into the CdG incense series, standing closer to Kyoto’s slightly sweet dryness than Avignon’s heavy cathedral. Hmmmm. Maybe you can’t have too many incense scents after all.

images: KISS band photo, gamasutra.com; Kiss Him and Her from Ulta.com; Robert Palmer “Addicted to Love” still, sterago.com; Daniel Radcliffe: fantasymundo.com heh heh. For a side of Hairy Potter you’ve never seen, click here or here. If you’re reading this at work … WTH, aren’t you supposed to be working?!?! Anyway, don’t visit those images unless your cube-farm spot is private.

  • Cheezwiz says:

    Wow, That Harry Potter sure growed up fast, and gosh he’s yummy! I feel like such a dirty old lech looking at those photos, but I mean, damn! 😮

    I guess its a good thing me and aldehydes don’t get along, ’cause I don’t know a soul in Dallas!

    • March says:

      Cheez! Well, thank goodness it’s not just *me* being pervy. It’s you, too. That boy: a) could easily call me “mom” and b) is, I am pretty sure, illegal and therefore jailbait in the U.S.

      You don’t love aldehydes?!?! 😮 But they’re so … so festive!<:-p

      • Cheezwiz says:

        Alas March, I do not get the sparkling champagny festive party thing that most people describe with aldehydes. Wouldn’t that be great to have perfumes remind you of happy bubbly champagne? To my poor nose they are just scritchy scratchy and induce bouts of sneezing!:p

  • assorted raisins says:

    Forget Perfume…ack! It’s a naked Hairy Potter!!! With a horse. To me he doesn’t look uh, well, let’s say I’m still young enough to look at Harry Potter (Daniel) at not feel criminal…why am I looking!:(:d

    Really, if that picture was a fragrance, what would it be?
    (cb I hate perfume m***?-don’t make me say it!) 😮

    ha. that’s enough weirdness for one night.

    • March says:

      My young teen, Diva, has been spending a *lot* of time looking at those pics. She’s a big Harry Potter fan, has all the books and DVDs… I wonder if she’s trying to figure out a way to get me to fly her to London? Wouldn’t put it past her.:-?

      I would personally like to sniff some CB M*** — oh, never mind.

  • Kelly says:

    That’s Gene Simmons -Bass (The Demon [with the tongue!]) Paul Stanley- Vocals (The Lover), Ace Frehley – Lead Guitar (The Spaceman), and Peter Criss – Drums (The Cat).

    If I’m old enough to know that, then looking at the pictures of Harry Potter probably make me some sort of criminal.

    • March says:

      Kelly — thanks for helping me out! Of course — Paul STANLEY is the pretty one, I mixed him up with Peter … and I forgot Ace, shame on me.

      I need to download some of their music, I have an earworm that won’t go away — Foghat. Smoke on the Water.

      I probably shouldn’t write that on the blog, should I?

      You can join me in the criminal lineup, hon.

  • Robin says:

    Yes, the Chene was from me, but someone else sent it to me and not sure I know who. *Might* have been Marlen (perfumecritic) — ask him!

    Tried the Kiss Her but not the Kiss Him. You liked Her better than I did.

    • March says:

      R — if you’ve smelled Femme or Kingdom (and you have) you can probably skip KISS. We have to start skipping things, don’t we?

      Thanks for the info about Chene. I am trying not to think about it. I don’t need anything else that smells like that, either:-“

  • Two words came to mind when I saw DR’s pictures: “Poor kid”.

    • March says:

      H — really? Why? I read an interview with him, he seems like a nice, bright kid. He’s 17. He’s running out of Harry Potters and is trying to stake a claim elsewhere (he had the signoff from the HP people to do Equus.) His attitude was, everyone else did it nude and so will I. I personally can’t imagine getting up on stage naked, but that seems to be the way the role is written. He still lives with his parents; he seems grounded. He seems proud of his role in Equus; I have no idea what the reviews were, but he was thrilled for the stage experience, which I gather was new for him.

      • Hmmmm, not convinced by the pictures at least. He still looks like a child (as does the girl) and the pics look a bit obscene because he seems passive and expressionless in them.

        • Lee says:

          D’you know the play? It’s pretty good theatre… The play is partly about him being on the cusp of adulthood, and it’s supposed to be discomfiting, but certainly less so than King Lear, The Duchess of Malfi, Coriolanus…

          *switches off theatrical drone mode*

          • No, I don’t know the play, but that does not change my perception of the pictures as they stand in and of themselves. They have a vague pornographic and p (the p word) quality about them.

            Regarding the hoopla around the play, I cannot help but think that somehow some people did not miss on the opportunity to show little Harry Potter from a different angle:) Something that has nothing to do with the play but with marketing and the culture of fame:)

  • Maria B. says:

    Well, I’ve taken my Fosamax Plus D and I’m waiting out the half hour period before I can eat. Women who take osteoporosis meds do not look at photos of naked Potters! It’s just too creepy. Is Daniel in *Equus*? That’s the play I can think of that requires a boy to be naked with a horse. Nice-looking horse.

    I tried the new Femme, and I did not like it. It wasn’t just the cumin that turned me off. It was the whole gestalt (claimed word). Moment of silence for the vintage Femme.

    A generous soul has sent a packet of incense fragrances winging its way to me. 😡 I love real incense wafting in a church, and I love incense-containing fragrance–for the minute or so the incense component stays on my skin, assuming it reveals itself in the first place. Cardinal was nice and churchy for the fifteen minutes or so it remained on my skin. Let Me Play the Lion lasted a half hour. From Encens et Lavande I got lavande.

    • Lee says:

      It is Equus.

      Expect a lengthy email about nice horses, bones, and RSM sometime tomorrow M!

      • Maria B. says:

        Oooh, I’ll look forward to it, L!

        Let’s see…RSM: Royal Shakespeare Matinee, Retired Sufi Medics, Relaxational Scent Meditation. 😕

    • March says:

      Maria — you *did* claim gestalt, didn’t you? I’m annoyed at Lee — he used twee last week, and he *knows* I had dibs on it. (kidding, kidding)

      I better get a move on with *verklempt* but not sure I’m spelling it right.:-”

      I tend to forget how much fragrances don’t last on other people…

      • pitbull friend says:

        Hey, March: The few times I have seen that word written, it was spelled “farklempt.” BUT, since Yiddish is written in the Hebrew alphabet & is therefore transliterated in a variety of ways (like Hanukkah, Chanukah, etc.), you’re cool.

        No schadenfreude was used in the writing of this comment.
        –Ellen

  • justine says:

    Suddenly, none of your wonderful photos show up for me. The delectable cake candle on the left, however,is there. Why can’t I see any of your Kiss pictures? Same thing on Friday. ack!

    • tmp00 says:

      for some reason I can’t see them on my work computer (windows and exploder) but can at home (OSX and Safari). Bizarre.

      I am ignoring Aldehyde 44. So there.

      • March says:

        Tom — you didn’t answer my very important question — would you rather lose a finger than have someone see a bottle of KISS Him on your dresser?

        Would you die of shame?

        Hey, how are you feeling about that pic of Daniel Radcliffe? Do you think that hair is styled? Yeah, you know what hair I’m talking about — THAT hair.;)

        • tmp00 says:

          Actually, if it smelled good, I wouldn’t care. I’d just be happy for the traffic through my bedrooom…

          Come to think if it, since the good stuff is safely tucked away at the back corner of a hall closet, I would just tell whomever that of course that wonderful scent I am wearing is Kiss Him and of course he’s welcome to spritz away… I may be really mean and put a bottle of Baby Phat Goddess and demurely why it smells so odd on him (and you wonder why I am alone..

          OF COURSE it’s styled!..he’s been buffed, polished, painted and sealer has been applied!

          Lee, I have been plucking the hairs out of ears and nose (although I am told that yu should not) for years. I refuse to be oneof those guys with tree trunks spouting out, and it starts a lot younger than most men want to admit. I’ve also started to get a couple of old-man lenght euebrow hairs, and this must not stand! [-x

    • March says:

      I am sorry you can’t see the pics! Clearly it depends on which computer you’re using … P’s been fiddling with the format a bit. Email her under Contact Us, maybe she has an idea?

  • There’s not enough incense in the world to purify me for looking at a naked Harry Potter…
    I don’t get Cardinal. It does the weirdest thing on my skin and turns into soapy pine. I don’t hate it, it just bores me to tears.
    As for Dallas, not even a Le Labo exclusive would make me go there (said she who lives in Jersey and probably sees worse on a daily basis).

    • Jacki says:

      Bad Dallas experience? It’s different here but then again I’m different than most of the people here and don’t care that I don’t fit in…

      • March says:

        I had total fun in Dallas. I found the people very friendly, and I also loved ice skating indoors in August (is that thing still there in the Galleria?) The things that bug me about Dallas are some of the same things that bug me about D.C. — the traffic, the weather and the entitlement.;)

        • Jacki says:

          Oh yes we still have the ice rink in the Galleria. I work about five minutes from the Galleria so I have spent many a lunch hour (or two) wandering the mall and sniffing…basically blocking out the work day.
          Entitlement, does that include these soccor moms that buy a ridiculously huge car (Hummer) that they can’t drive but they must own because someone told them that everything is bigger in Texas 😉

        • Jacki says:

          Oh yes we still have the ice rink in the Galleria. I work about five minutes from the Galleria so I have spent many a lunch hour (or two) wandering the mall and sniffing…basically blocking out the work day.
          Entitlement, does that include these soccer moms that buy a ridiculously huge car (Hummer) that they can’t drive but they must own because someone told them that everything is bigger in Texas 😉

    • March says:

      Gaia – I actually go through the soapy part in the first 15 to 20 minutes, which is part of my initial “meh.” It’s only much later that I think, wow — that DOES smell good.

  • Jennifer says:

    This post had me laughing and I feel like an old perv looking at Daniel Radcliff. I did a little while ago take a sniff at both of the KISS fragrances wasn’t impressed with the female one but was down right amazed at the amount of cumin in KISS for him.

    • March says:

      Yeah, me on the old perv list too, Jennifer.

      That KISS Him stunned me. I am really surprised they did something that unusual. It’s not quite my taste (I like Femme better) but still, I’m impressed.

  • Patty says:

    Sorry, I laugh every time I see Young Potter with that hot horse, it’s like walking into the bathroom and you find your teenage son in there preening with his chest in the mirror… I laugh. This explains why my sons laugh at me, too.

    Okay, I officially can’t wait for that 44 thing, even though I am going to officially hate it. And if I love it, um, Amy!! I’m counting on you to get me more!

  • Amy says:

    Yeah, I’m stone in love with the 44, too. It is just bright and sparkling and wonderful — I’m going to be very glad I have this when it’s been 100+ degrees here for weeks on end this August. I wanted to hate it, because the idea of the exclusivity to Dallas made me roll my eyes pretty hard. OTOH, I wanted to love it, because anything that ridiculously expensive had $#@% well better be good. I’m also happy to hear Baghari getting so much love — I think it’s a beautiful thing. While I love the whole experience of Baghari, the first couple of times I wore it I remember thinking, “I wish I had something that was *just* this opening.” Et voila! Aldehyde 44 to the rescue!

    Kiss? No. Just… no.

    • March says:

      Amy, I won’t be surprised if Patty’s asking you to score her a bottle:-” I wish Baghari got more love and attention. I can’t think of anything else like 44. Even YSL Yvresse has more stuff going on in it.

  • pitbull friend says:

    Hey, March: So foolish of me. The filter probably thinks I’m sending bulk emails about fighting. In fact, I chose the name because I want to restore pitbulls to their early 20th century place as trustworthy, stalwart friends (e.g., Petey on “Little Rascals” and several pitbull patriots on war posters).

    I have rosacea, too. Hah! To think I laughed when a college classmate hoped she’d get rid of her acne before she wrinkled! Being an “autumn,” I can go with the yellow/brown. Non-soap cleanser once a day, Dr. Hauschka quince day cream, & mineral powder foundation help. Quinces smell so beautiful! I’m astounded perfumers ignore them.

    Heeley Cardinal….if you have too many incenses, this is not the one to toss. You were very brave to try the KISSes — I don’t know whether the “apple-tini” or the “racy bull accord” sounded scarier. (OK, this is probably old news to Patty, but — for you city-slickers — did you know that you can buy bull “secretion” in a glass vial at a suburban farm store here?)
    –Ellen

    • March says:

      Ellen — That’s a worthy cause. Pitbulls make me nervous because we’ve lived in two places that they’re kept mostly as attack dogs, with the expected results. Also, chows. Also, akitas. It’s a shame people treat those dogs so poorly.

      I use some Bigelow sensitive skin stuff I like a *lot.* I don’t have the acne, just the redness, in fits and spurts.

      Yeah, bull secretion! There’s a job! Heh heh. I wonder if that’s what’s in Secretions Magnifique?:-?

  • Marina says:

    Thank you for the eye-candy, March. Oh, and Potter is nice-looking too. :d/

    • March says:

      M — I’ve been torturing myself trying to come up with the names of the KISS band without looking them up — Gene Simmons (The Tongue), Paul Stanley (cat?), Peter Criss (the pretty one) and … Voldemort? Ringo? :d

      I can’t believe how hot that kid looks. I should go wash my mind out with soap.

  • Elle says:

    OK, not even little Harry could distract me from your description of Chene Imperial. How the hell did I miss that? And, like you, I can find *no* information on it. I’m also willing to face any degree of embarrassment for a scent I like and I do think Kiss Him sounds fab. *Must* go check it out. I’m afraid the apple-tini just wouldn’t work for me in the female version. And what *is* it w/ black orchid these days? Am also enormously grateful there are no postal holidays this week as I’m waiting for a sample of 44. Sounds fab. And, yeah – they’ve not heard of ebay?

    • March says:

      Elle — I *believe* it was from R at NST, included in a recent pkg. She dabbles in a lot of room sprays, and it’s so strong (and not on their website) I’m assuming that’s what it is? Cannot find a single reference.

      Okay, what would you think if you visited your boyfriend’s apt for the first time and there was a bottle of Kiss Him? Would you think, get me out of here? Where’s the bong? For a woman, though, it’s okay!\:d/ I have never seen it anywhere, though. We don’t have Dillards, and our Macys doesn’t seem to stock it. I did wonder what had happened to it.

      • Elle says:

        A d/ced room spray is even harder to come by than a d/ced perfume. Very depressing.
        I’ve not seen the Kiss scents either. Am going to have to check around, though. DH is the only SO I’ve ever had who isn’t firmly in the artsy alternative camp, so if someone I’d dated had had Kiss Him, I’d have automatically assumed it was meant to be taken in the same fashion as their Santoria and Jesus candles (yes, I’ve outgrown those men). I’d also be hopefully looking around for a significant stash of other scents I could borrow (Poivre Samarcande, Cumming?).

        • March says:

          Hahahhaha! I dated that guy! We used to sit around and listen to REM and The Smiths, un-ironically.

          The Big Cheese smells like … man. He wears his D&G occasionally to humor me, but really, mostly he smells like soap and skin. It’s okay by me.

          So: obviously you can buy the KISS stuff on Ulta, or my guess is even cheaper on eBay.

  • Judith says:

    I am supposed to be getting some of the Le Labo; I can’t wait (well, I guess I can, will have to, etc.) I think I’ll pass on the Kisses (big snob here).

    I have only had one makeup done that I really liked: it was fantastic, made me look REALLY good! All others have veered between two extremes–way overdone stage makeup (my wedding mu was unfortunately like this), or completely impossible to tell that I’ve had my makeup done, looks just like the way I normally do. Oh, well.

    • March says:

      Judith — let me know if you sample doesn’t show. Patty’s is winging its way to her. I predict you’ll love it.

      I have a terrible time with makeovers. I am very fair with ruddy undertones. If they try to delete the redness (with yellow, ususally) I look bizarre. If they try to delete the redness entirely by matching my original pallor, I look dead. If they try to go with the redness, I look sunburned. It’s all bad… although now I’ve had my face lasered a few times the redness is subsiding and I am thrilled. That’s my one complaint about Bikram yoga: I feel like it exacerbates my rosacea.

  • Jacki says:

    You are right about Dallas; enough said.

    Next trip to the mall I need to smell Le Labo 44, I have a mission now.

    Kiss for Men: I game my husband a sample and he said “Your kidding, right?” He smelled and said no way. He tried again the next day and couldn’t do it. He’s very forgiving and very patient with my constant requests to try something new but this one he just couldn’t handle.
    Kiss for Her: Maybe I didn’t give it enough time. I couldn’t get into it either.

    Lee: Low Hangers and hairy patches; OMG!! I needed that laugh before I braved work today 🙂

    • March says:

      Jacki — well, I could imagine only a fairly adventurous, hardcore perfume dude liking Kiss Him, which is part of what fascinated me. It would be the equivalent of being a perfume virgin and trying to wear, I dunno, Jicky parfum. It’s pretty ripe. I would think a lot of guys might say, hey, that’s the smell I’m trying to get rid of.;)

      If you get a chance, smell that Le Labo, it’s worth it.

  • Lee says:

    My eyes! My eyes!

    Not sure I’m yet ready to see Harry Potter waggling his dingle dangle as he bloodlets… He ain’t half gonna be one hairy beary man. I imagine his 30something BSC waxing bill will be fairly unpleasant. Y’know, I noticed my hairdresser trimming (yes that’s right) hair ON MY EARS for the first time last visit. Ageing is cruel to men in different ways to what it is to women… Low hangers and hairy patches – not the most aesthetically pleasing options…

    Oh and perfumes. I have nothing to say. I’m too excited by the idea of Parfumerie Generale’s Bois Blond to concentrate.

    • March says:

      Lee — yeah, yeah. Same thing for women. The Big Cheese has to get his eyebrows trimmed now. Okay, I have a clueless question: I have examined those Daniel Radcliffe pics VERY CLOSELY /:) this is a general young-guy question — do they wax their chests? I mean, I am sure there are some hairless men, but don’t most men have chest hair? Are all those models, b-list boys, wannabees, etc. waxing their chests (or otherwise depilating)? I need to go look — Dan hasn’t removed the hair from under his arms, has he?

      Yes, I know it’s wrong. But I still think he’s a feast for the eyes. However, that belly thatch has definitely been styled (brushed, maybe?)

    • Lee says:

      Ok – so I think lots of em do wax and/or shave their chests. Now, I don’t wish to study the photo too closely (young enough to be my son etc…) but he looks like he has a bit of early bumfluff on the lower sternum – and it’s true that lots of men hair up downstairs before their front panel gets much. But in general, the youth of today: pretty anti-hair.

      He seems to have hairy pits though.

      Signed Mr Alopecia Beard (that answers a question of Elle’s I forgot about)

      • Elle says:

        Sorry about the alopecia, but am very glad to hear it’s nothing worse!
        DH is amazingly hairless for a man and I have to say that I wish he had more. Hair is good on a man. Bad on a woman (sorry, I am completely sexist about this). But, like you, DH got his first hair on his ear the other day and is traumatized.