Due to popular demand, the saga shall continue at least for a while longer.
We last left poor Nawt Agin with his head in his hands, sobbing uncontrollably. He left the office early, went home, cooked up some nice mac and cheese and a Klonopin and Padron cocktail and headed for bed, hoping the sunrise would somehow erase this day from his mind.
Meanwhile, across town, at the offices of Perfumes ‘R Us, DicK Nosmell has been called into a meeting with his boss, Daddy Perfumebucks.
Daddy: Sit down, DicK, and tell me, what’s in the hopper about to pop out and make us more money?
DicK: *sucking up wildly* Yes, sir, happy to! We’ve just signed Voracia Tata, and that scent is in the pipeline. Peeris Hyatt’s third scent, Overexposed, is due out next week, we’ve rolled out the big marketing blitz, which may be more complicated if she’s in jail, but we’re hoping we can somehow use that to give it a dangerous edge. We think we’ll get a rap artists signed soon and one of those former girl banders.
Daddy: Tell me about the perfumes, what do they smell like?
DicK: *pauses, looks perplexed* What? The scents — you mean what they smell like?
Daddy: Why are you repeating what I said? Yes, smell like, as in scent, perfume, to smell, wafting aroma.
DicK: Well, pretty much the same as every other perfume we’ve done for the last six years — we stay with the formula and the market research data. Something kind of hairy and studly for the boys and sweet vanilla or fruity floral for the girls.
Daddy: I think we need a change of direction, we should put out something worthwhile, that smells unique and expresses the society we live in.
DicK: *starts laughing* You got me, you sly dog! Yeah, like we want to make some perfume called Post Coital Meth Hit …. *Dick continues laughing, looks up, sees Daddy Perfumebucks isn’t laughing at all, gulps hard* You can’t be serious.
Daddy: *growls* Why, yes, I think I am. I think we should, first, ditch these thugs, coke whores and untalented Hollywood wannabes and start signing up serious people with a point of view or a philanthropic mission, like Santa Maria Angelina. We should make a perfume of substance, something that will be around 50 years from now, after we’re both dead and gone, and use a portion of the profits to help the victims in Darfur. I’ve gone through most of my life already just making money on crap, and I’d like to leave something behind that means something…
(back across town, Nawt is tossing fitfully in his sleep, bolts upright, looks around) Where’s Daddy and DicK? Where’s the Darfur perfume?!?!? Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!
*Dick breaks down into uncontrollable sobbing again, curled up in the fetal position*
I keep forgetting I had a drawing a while back that I hadn’t finished. So I picked two winners for their pick of the two Tom Ford samples of their choice: Mikael and cjj88. Just hit the contact us button over there on the left and send me your address and which two you would like, and I’ll pop them in the mail. Thanks to everyone who played!
Okay, best perfume dream you would hate to wake up from and find out it wasn’t true and/or worst perfume nightmare you would be glad to wake up from?