Malled Again

When I did my post a couple weeks ago on swag, someone commented that it was obvious we weren’t corporate shills because if we were, there’d be a lot more reviews of mass-market celebrity-type fragrances.  Which struck fear into my heart, because what if my handlers at Proctor & Gamble realize I haven’t been reviewing that stuff?!?   They might come to my house and take back the Rolls Royce and the pool boy!  And we can’t have that, can we?  So here are my addled musings on some new mass-market celebrity scents (including a nice surprise or two) — reviews made even cheesier by the fact that I am basing one of these on a magazine scent strip.  Yeah, baby!  Always searching for new ways to lower my standards!

There I was, minding my business, all curled up with a bowl of caramel popcorn and the latest issue of Glamour, when I espied the ad for Sarah Jessica Parker’s new scent, SJP NYC. And my first thought was, here it is!  This is it!  This is the fragrance, the cool fragrance, the one she wanted to release that was based on CdG Avignon + some sort of musk oil blah blah but they said it won’t be commercial enough so she did SJP Lovely instead.  Followed by Covet, about which … well, the less said the better, but you couldn’t accuse it of being a shameless pandering to popular tastes.

SJP NYC is that shameless pandering to popular tastes, however.  The bottle looks like the tawdry spawn of Ed Hardy and the D&G animal-print Man/Woman bottles.  And the fragrance, as sniffed out by my discerning nose?  The consummate insipid fruity floral.  Notes are: mandarin, white osmanthus, wild strawberries, gardenia, honeysuckle, mimosa, red Damascena rose, vanilla absolute, sandalwood, rum and creamy musk.  I have one word: strawberries.  Ugh.  Nobody’s gonna build the Taj Mahal out of strawberries.  To be fair, five minutes of research online reveals that this is some sort of Sex and the City tie-in fragrance, so it’s meant to be insipid – er, youthful and fun.  SJP, you disappoint.  Maybe you could take some of the gazillions of dollars you’ll earn from this scent and do the interesting one next time.

I was still cross about SJP when, a few pages later, I ran across – wait for it – the new celebrity scent by Kim Kardashian!  Famous for … I have no idea what, being a fame whore?  Sisters Kourtney and Khloe?  I’m ashamed I know their names.  I asked 15-year-old Diva about Kim and she said, “she’s the genius.”  I am not sure what she meant by that.  Perhaps she was being sarcastic.

But look at that ad up top.  You know what?  I LOVE that ad.  No, seriously.  It’s all retro-fabulous (those lips! those nails!), she looks pretty, her bits are covered, I see no giant, ugly tattoos, she doesn’t weigh 82 lbs., and I love that bathing suit (lingerie?)   I knew my kind thoughts were going to come crashing down when I smelled the scent strip, so I ripped it open and smeared it on my wrist and … okay, fine, Kim Kardashian, you are messing with my mind, because I like it.  I really do.

Notes for Kim Kardashian via Sephora are mandarin, honeysuckle, orange blossom, jasmine, tuberose, sensual spice, lush gardenia, jacaranda wood, tonka bean, vanilla orchid, musk, creamy sandalwood.  As the notes would indicate this is a rich white floral, musky/woody rather than sharp.  I get mostly creamy tuberose, a touch of orange blossom and a clean gardenia on a light musky/woody base.  It’s sexy and heady at first and kind of man-candy-ish, assuming your man doesn’t want you to smell like a sugar cookie.  It’s not fruity, fresh or gourmand (yay!), and I thought the drydown, which is where some mass-market fragrances completely fall apart, was still decent – woody tuberose and a spicy vanilla musk.  Even the girls liked it, which surprised me.  I didn’t buy a bottle, but I’d wear it.   Okay, okay, it ain’t Fracas (what is?) but for me it’s a manageable tuberose that doesn’t threaten to smother me.  I wouldn’t necessarily wear it to work in a regular office job, but it’d be a fine going-out (or staying-in) scent.

I went to two Sephoras looking for Kim Kardashian – the one at the mall and the fancypants one smack-dab in the middle of our snooty local retail area.  I wish I had a photo of the face of the sweet young man at Snooty Sephora when I told him they were getting it in.  Poor guy probably went in the back after I left and sobbed into his hankie.

For those of you reading this who think either a) I must have fallen and bumped my head or b) the blog’s been hijacked, CHECK IT:  When I went to the online Sephora reviews of Kim Kardashian, the lowest (one-star) reviews consistently use descriptors of this scent like OLD-LADYish, or TOO STRONG, or SOMETHING MY GRANDMA WOULD WEAR.   Ding ding ding!!!!   The sure sign of a (potential) winner!    Several Sephora reviewers mentioned White Shoulders by way of comparison, and the notes look right, although I can’t remember the smell of White Shoulders at all, except to say that (like everything else) I think it used to smell infinitely better in the 1950s than whatever they’re selling in the drugstore right now, next to the execrable current version of Emeraude.  Any opinions on that?

While at the mall looking for Kim Kardashian … (cue the music from Jaws) I tried the new Beyoncé fragrance, Heat.  Notes are vanilla orchid, magnolia, neroli, peach, honeysuckle nectar, almond macaroon, musk, sequoia milkwood (?), tonka bean and amber.  I have a soft spot for Miss B, her body is slammin’, I love her in spite of her hideous clothing line, House of Deréon, which I always mis-remember as House of Derriere, although I think that’s in a song of hers so it’s not all my fault.

I squirted it on my hand and inhaled.  Heat is … well, it’s … it’s … it’s … okay, imagine yourself in a perfumery course, which I have never done.  And in this perfumery course the instructor whips out a small vial of civet, or castoreum, for everyone to smell and says, well, yes, it’s terrible – but you just use a drop of that to add sexy interest to the base of another, much more complicated fragrance.  Heat smells like a thin veneer of canned peaches in syrup over the most powerful, intensely animalic stank of unwashed ladyparts that I have ever smelled in a perfume, and I don’t mean that in a good way.  It doesn’t even smell like a finished perfume (good or bad) – just … well, like I said.  So I triple-dog-dare you: go try Heat and tell me if I’m nuts. I tried two different bottles because I couldn´t quite believe what I was smelling.  Just don’t spray it on anything you can’t wash, and one small spray is plenty.   If I stood next to someone wearing Heat in an elevator, I’d probably throw up in my hands.

I decided to bury my stinky fingers under Queen by Queen Latifah, because … it was sitting right there and I was desperate?  Although I went back another day and tried it again.  Notes are tequila, bergamot, mandarin. rose, jasmine, cognac, coriander, patchouli, sandalwood, vanilla, tonka absolute, Egyptian incense and musk.  Queen opens big and a little rough, and then settles into a not-terrible fruitchouli – let’s thank Melissa for that term – that, again, I won’t be rushing out to buy, but you could do a lot worse.   I like it better than half the Miller Harris line.  It’s neither terribly bitter nor overpoweringly sweet, and it (sort of) ate the worst bits of Heat.  The drydown becomes a little more resiny-spicy without getting especially sweet.  You wouldn’t want to soak yourself in this one either, it’s got a ton of sillage, which strikes me as appropriate from the Queen, but it doesn’t smell like the candy aisle in the grocery store, and it’s an identifiably adult fragrance while still being warm and flirty.  The boozy bits, which are not my favorite notes in perfumery, weren’t dominant.  If I had to choose between this and Kim Kardashian I’d likely take Kim, but really, a pleasant surprise.  Here’s a link to Robin’s review at Now Smell This, she was pleasantly surprised as well.

A note on bottles — whether you like the looks of a perfume bottle is obviously a matter of personal taste.  And opinions can vary widely — I like the cheerfully vulgar Betsey Johnson bottle but hate Van Cleef Feerie, which makes me think of Avon.  I think many perfume people feel the opposite about them.  In general, a visual stroll through the celebrity-bottle section will inspire new appreciation for the bottle designs of other perfumes, mainstream and niche.  I know it sounds snobby, but many celebrity bottles appear to aspire to a kind of bling, or “fancy” concept, that has the opposite effect in reality — the fancier it strives to be, the more cheap it looks.   A very simple bottle (think Chanel) can look expensive.  The fussy, blinged-out, and/or oddly-shaped gold-etched bottles as an Expression of The Celebrity’s Vision are kind of painful to look at.  From a “celebrity” perspective, the Kim Kardashian bottle is a model of restraint, although in person it’s a little cheesier — the KK logo (pink plastic?) is raised and embedded on the bottle front rather than printed.   Heat, Queen, and SJP NYC I wouldn’t want to look at on my perfume shelf.

I’ll wrap this up by saying that, as a consumer, the whole celebrity-fragrance trend baffles me.  Obviously I’m not their target demographic, whatever that is.  I think in general they can be hugely successful in terms of a celebrity brand extension.  If I were Liz Taylor’s number one fan I still wouldn’t want to wear White Diamonds.  Besides, if I were Liz Taylor herself, I wouldn’t wear White Diamonds.  Wouldn’t one perk of wealth and fame be to bathe in Chanel No. 5, or hire Thierry Wasser to make you a bespoke perfume?  I guess it’s just my envy talking.

Sources:  SJP NYC, scent strip, Glamour; Kim Kardashian, tester, Sephora; Heat and Queen, testers at Macy’s.

  • prettythings says:

    March! I’m actually sad you were wrong about the civet; made me giggle.

  • Louise says:

    Ok, it’s March’s fault this time 😡

    I stopped in at Macy’s last night, and tried Queen, which was a (small) cut above the generic fruitchoulis, and pleasant enough. Then Heat-and girl, I think the skank was all in your filthy mind-it went, and stayed on just sweet and dull as hell. I wish I got what you got…:((

    • March says:

      See? I knew I was nuts. I didn’t quite have the stomach to retry it when we were there, but I’ll revisit it soon. Maybe I had something on my hands it reacted with? Although I can’t think of what.

  • Kelly says:

    OK – had to go look up the Kardashians… turns out they’re the kids of Robert Kardashian (OJ’s lawyer). Huh.

    Also, that ad is even more impressive when you know that Kim is 5’2″!!!

    • March says:

      Oh, is she really? That makes me happy. My daughter seems to have stopped at 5’2″, short even for our not-tall family. I’m always trying to point out that height isn’t everything.

  • Flora says:

    ROTFL, love your reviews of these. Gotta try Heat now of course!

    I must point out that KK has has had the living bejesus Photoshopped out of her in that photo – huge surprise – to make it seem as though a woman who is famous MAINLY for her ample posterior has no hips at all, and she never wears red lipstick either. I would not have guessed who it was had her name not been on it! I will try that perfume though, I am all about the white florals. I wore White Shoulders back in the day and it was very nice.

    My next project is finding and trying MKK in my local shop now that it’s in the Export line. Should be interesting to see how it compares to Heat. I have a morbid fear that someone, somewhere will try layering them together. :-\”

    • carter says:

      I couldn’t help but notice the similarity in style between KK’s ad and the D&G ad campaign featuring Scarlett Johansson, which was stunning. The problem is that KK is no SJ, who is a very good actress and requires no photoshopping on her hips or anything else, for that matter (*).

      • March says:

        Maybe I’m nuts, but I feel like so many perfume ads recently have featured women who look like they are actively in the *middle* of some sexual act, as if we were all too dim to get the point of the allure of perfume. 🙂 So while I’d hardly call this ad subtle, hey — she’s not straddling anything that looks phallic. It seems restrained by today’s standards.

    • March says:

      Yeah, I am actually a little disappointed about that. Why not leave her booty in there, since they’re going for retro curvaceousness? But I stand behind my assertion that at least she doesn’t look starved, by Hollywood standards.

      MKK is delightfuly musky but not especially animalic on me. More outdoorsy-barnyard, less abject stink, if that makes any sense at all.

      • Flora says:

        Ooh, I LOVE me some barnyard! That’s what I was hoping for instead of the B.O. thing some “musky” perfumes have. :d

  • Kelly says:

    I’m with you, March. Love, love, love the ad. Haven’t tried any of the fragrances.

  • Robin R. says:

    March, because your style is invariably tactful, respectful and indirect, I’m a little puzzled as to what you thought of Heat. Do you think I could wear it to my job interview first thing tomorrow morning at a downtown corporate accounting firm? Would you call it office-appropriate? 😉

    • March says:

      Oh, I think Heat would be perfect for a job interview. Wear an extra spritz for luck.

      • Robin R. says:

        You see? It is exactly this kind of helpful advice that makes you such a trustworthy resource. After all, whether it’s a job interview or fancy dinner (can’t wait to try out Heat when I meet my new boyfriend’s mother for the first time), you know what they say: You only have one chance to make a first impression. l-)

  • Ari says:

    Hi March! I too tried the Kim Kardashian perfume and found it very pleasant. However, I could never buy it because I believe that she represents everything that is wrong with society today. Beyonce, on the other hand, is a fantastic role model, but Heat was nothing special. If only their perfumes could somehow be switched…

    • March says:

      Since I don’t think much of the celebrity concept in the first place (any more than the designer-clothing concept, really) I mostly tend to disconnect the two … although, okay, I’d be hard pressed to wear anything by, say, Paris Hilton. Beyonce does seem like a sweet girl with her head on straight.

  • dleep says:

    My sister bought me Queen for Christmas and I quite like it. I don’t get any fruit, just patch, spice, woods. It lasts a long time and has a lot of sillage. I have gotten a few compliments. Just FYI my favorite scent is Coromandel.

    Your review made me laugh out loud. Now I have to try Heat–just because!

    • March says:

      I only get fruit up top, and it definitely dries down in the direction you described. It does last a long time, and nicely. Someone else complained that it was too sweet, but I didn’t have that difficulty.

      Please, try Heat and report back!

  • cathleen56 says:

    So I guess someone must have stolen the tester of the new perfume “inspired” by Demi Moore, then, or are you just teasing us? It’s called “All You’ve Ever Wanted” or just “Wanted,” though the picture of her doesn’t look like your standard mugshot.

    I guess I’ve never understood why people: 1) want to emulate celebrities; or 2) think that celebrities are more creative (in other than their chosen milieu) or have better taste than the rest of us. I just console myself knowing that there’ll never be a Vanessa Redgrave perfume or a Jeff Bridges after-shave, and ignore the rest.

  • Disteza says:

    Heat was that bad, huh? I don’t get much skank at all outta things like MKK or PIM; I will have to see if this does anything on me. I’ll keep a barf bag handy, though, just in case it’s that awful.

    • March says:

      I’m waiting for everyone to come back on here and tell me I’m an idiot. I really, really can’t believe it smells like that.

  • MAB says:

    I couldn’t lurk any longer. I cannot tell you how much I really enjoyed this post!
    My 22 year old daughter and I have gone out “smelling at the Mall” since she was 4-5 years old! I’ll have to share this one with her.

    Thank you so much for the education and fun!

    • March says:

      Separate from my snark, smelling at the mall is so much fun. I do it with my daughters. I won’t pretend that they have refined noses due to all that exposure (they don’t), but I do like to think that they’ve learned to discern some notes. And they know they can’t wear anything in the house that I loathe. 🙂 When we come to an agreement, I buy it for them, so it works out all right.

    • March says:

      I hit reply too soon. Thanks for delurking!

  • Hilarious!! :))

    I’m not surprised you smelled the celeboscents, what critics would we be if we didn’t give everything half a chance? Look at me, I tested Lutens’s latest “clean” anti-perfume and found something to say. But I digress. The point is one never knows where someone might get the surprise of their life.

    I fully expected the Kim one to be sort of decent, because she’s very controlling (I hear) and white florals are her style (I hear) and those are very popular too (I hear) and seeing the retro ad, I too had formed the opinion it would be something feminine.

    As to SJP, March, I am going to be stern =(( : How could you *possibly* expect such a tacky, fuschia bright bottle to have to do anything with her “vision” about which she spoke to Chandler???
    It’s the next one which will be shaped to be like that, as “the essential component in a sexy smell is a little…body odour”! (I think I commented on it final week of December, funny concept, wonder how the American majority will see this) So you see, after all the tie-ins and the selling-outs (ooops, did I just type that?), she’s finally getting a chance to maybe, just maybe “touch” her vision. Although from the info leaked, I’m not so sure after all….Anyway… =((

    • Oh and I forgot one interesting little factoid, especially in regards to the comments you got from your children: Miller Harris (which does have widely varying things, so I can see where you’re coming from) uses a high ratio of quality naturals. It’s quite funny when you think about it, how celebritoscents/mainstream releases work on such dependable, likeable stuff that we tend to like them over the others on some occassions. 😕

      • March says:

        The MHs, my comment was probably gratuitously mean (big surprise.) But many of them smell not good on me. Quite bitter and harsh. I do like a couple but have never felt moved to own one.

    • March says:

      Oh! Did you review it? I have to come by your blog and look! I’m very curious about it, it seems so anti-Lutens.

      The white florals aren’t huge around here on the younger set, which is where I expected KK to be aimed. We could do so much worse. I’ll be pleased if it launches a resurgence.

      I know, I know — what else could be in that horrible bottle? I did think of that much later (the bottle is perfect for its contents.) I was just so excited, thinking, this will be the clever one! Can’t wait for some body odor 🙂 which I admire as much as you, even if I am an American. @};-

      • It IS definitely anti-Lutens! At any rate, yes, reviewed it and I bet it will have tongues wagging for a looooong time. I will be curious to see if you like it or not. It’s definitely nothing like we would have expected.

        If KK manages to contribute to a resurgence of more feminine, round, white florals, then yippee!! Where’s the petition so I can sign up? (Not that I would actually want a celebo scent per se, but you know what I mean).

        And yeah, not all Americans are anti-“dirt” obviously (not that I inferred they were, but it wasn’t very clear on my part). Thank God, I might add! :d

        • March says:

          No, no, I hear you. No offense taken — you’re correct after all. At least in terms of “popular” perfumery, dirty scents aren’t much admired by Americans. It takes those of us with more discerning tastes… 😉

          Whether I like the Lutens will likely depend on whether it translates too much on my skin as something laundry-like. So-called “clean” scents, or things aquatic or fresh, are often not good on me.

  • Nina Z. says:

    March, I enjoy your writing so much! I hope one day–maybe when the kids are older–you’ll consider writing a book. About anything!

  • Elizabeth says:

    March, I loved reading this one! I’m hopelessly out of it re: celebrities but “old lady perfume”?–I’m right there! Curiosity will drive me to sniff these 3 frag’s…when my sinus infection clears up :(( In the meantime, I am collecting every vintage drop of Emeraude (and others) I can afford to get my hands on.

    • March says:

      Vintage Emeraude is stunning. I had no idea. I have a couple small bottles. It makes me sad that people think it’s CVS dreck, which it is, now. Fortunately it’s relatively easy to get ahold of the vintage still.

      I hope your sinuses clear soon!

  • DinaC says:

    Loved reading your reviews of these celebuscents, March. I generally steer clear of them because they usually turn out to be so dreary, predictable or cloyingly sweet. KK sounds interesting, especially for a friend of mine who used to wear White Shoulders a couple of decades ago. I’ll be sure to sniff it when I see it. I have already sniffed Queen and didn’t like it at all. Way too much patch and fruit for me. Not that all fruitiness is bad. I’m just not a fan of patchouli. Loved all the hilarious bits about Heat in particular. Now I’m curious to sniff it — but only on a blotter paper! :-&

    • March says:

      Too much patch? I swing both ways on that one… 😉 I think patch must be like vetiver, for people who hate it, they REALLY hate it. It was reasonably in the background on me.

      I should have said this in the review — Heat on paper smelled only mildly bad. It really went to hell on my skin.

  • Wordbird says:

    Laughed out loud at:
    “Heat smells like a thin veneer of canned peaches in syrup over the most powerful, intensely animalic stank of unwashed ladyparts that I have ever smelled in a perfume, and I don’t mean that in a good way.:d
    Of course, this means I now have to go find this stuff in a shop, spritz my hand and hoot with laughter in public, damn you!

    • March says:

      The canned peaches part I’m sure of, but I can’t help but think my impressions of the rest are mistaken, I must have done something heinous to the musk. Go try it and report back!

  • Patty says:

    Oh, Sarah, that is disappointing. I wonder how much of her personal interest in the first perfume waas because Chandler was writing about it? Or did she just give up when it becamse clear, after Covet, that the budget for materials in the perfumes wouldn’t allow for anything she’d actually wear, but it could if she’d give up some of the millions they paid to use her name. Oops, my inner cynic is running rampant today.

    BTW, yes, old White Shoulders is much better than the current iteration. I used to wear it, and I still do like it in the older version. It has a simplicity. So now I have to sniff the KK and the Heat, even if I throw up doing it.

    The Kardashians do mystify me, but I think thy just run with the Paris Hilton/Nicole Ritchie crowd, or did, and they all got linked up in the celebriality thing, so they have a show too. Their step-father is Bruce Jenner, too, which also gets them in that psuedo-celeb world too.

    • March says:

      There were flankers, right? Covet Pure Bloom and another one? My guess is she’s got some kind of contractual obligation or whatever and they’re cranking those puppies out. I think Covet was a flop, but Lovely has got to be huge, yes?

      Huh. I should dig up some vintage White Shoulders, I’d probably appreciate it now. I think the notes are jasmine, tuberose, gardenia, orris, musk and neroli. Sounds nice, yes?

  • carter says:

    SJP UGLY 😮

  • Musette says:

    Thank you SO much for a much needed laugh! Heat? You betcha! how can I resist such an incredible description? if I throw up in my hands I will let you know.

    Thanks to all who indicated who Kim Kardashian is – I know the name because I do not live in a cave in Outer Plutonia but that’s all I know. You know I’m Fracas’ old lady so I’ll cheat on her with this, at least once.

    Honestly, the things you do so we don’t have to….

    got any of that caramel corn left????

  • Elizabeth says:

    I sniffed the scent strip of SJP/NYC and was shocked at how mainstream, boring fruity floral it was. I could discern nothing different or interesting about it. I thought that I had read that her next scent would smell like BO? I guess that’s the one *after* this. Right. I won’t hold my breath.

  • Francesca says:

    Probably won’t ever sniff any of these frags, but I’m with Mals 86, love those “old lady” scents. Isn’t it weird? some of those are the sexiest.
    I’m kinda glad you went easy on Kim Kardashian—she and her sisters and her mom were in my office a few months ago with some book idea, and according to colleagues, she was incredibly nice about compliments and posing for photos etc.

    • March says:

      “Old lady” scents have elements that ARE sexy. They smell like grownup women. KK bears some similarity to Fracas (although Fracas is clearly a better scent.) But Fracas is both powdery and cloying on me, and KK wasn’t.

      I’m happy to hear the Kardashians were nice. I know nothing about them, and I have no reason to wish KK anything but luck. As I already said, if her perfume is popular enough to usher in a wave of copycat retro-tuberoses, I’m in full support.

  • Natalie says:

    Is it wrong that your review — in addition to making me laugh — made me really, really want to try Heat? Is it the same impulse that drives us to look at gruesome car crashes and order strange dishes in Chinatown (geoduck, I’m looking at you!)?

    • March says:

      Please, please try Heat! And I totally understand, I do that with perfumes all the time if they sound interestingly awful. I really think there must be something wrong with my perception or my skin, and I hope someone reports back.

    • Melissa says:

      Oh good. I’m glad you said it first. Heading straight to mall after work. Must sniff gruesome skank and peach syrup.

  • Tiara says:

    I knew from the title “Malled Again” I’d be enjoying a few laughs! The visual of the sweet young man weeping in his hankie at the snooty Sephora had me howling.

    While Kim seems to be known for her rear end, she’s actually a tiny thing. Recently saw a photograph of her standing next to some other “star” and I was struck by how petite she was. I don’t get the reality TV thing either.

    Heat doesn’t sound tempting but will sniff the other 2 when I get a chance. The fact that KK sounds “older” is rather appealing compared to some of the overly sweet stuff introduced the past few years.

    Worked at P&G for years – the thought of them giving out Rolls Royces and employing pool boys is funnier than you can imagine!

    • March says:

      I think some of those “curvy girls” are actually quite tiny. Scarlett Johansson is apparently tiny. I am happy to see someone who didn’t look like a crack addict, even if she isn’t big.

      KK, as I said above, I wonder how it will do. It seems so unlike the other popular scents right now, if I like it, I think it’s a bad sign. 🙂

  • Robin says:

    The whole thing was funny, but “I like it better than half the Miller Harris line” was REALLY funny. And “If I stood next to someone wearing Heat in an elevator, I’d probably throw up in my hands.” made me spew tea. Thanks for the Sunday night laughs.

    Now I’m afraid to try Heat.

    • March says:

      You know it’s true about Miller Harris. They tend to smell very harsh and bitter on me.

      I wish you’d try Heat, R, if you ever see it, because I cannot believe I am smelling correctly. I sometimes do strange things to musky notes, Luca Turin’s feelings on skin chemistry notwithstanding. Or maybe it was my perception. But I’d have expected a fruity musk.

  • k-scott says:

    There is no possible way I will try any of these 3 perfumes; I don’t even think I will ever be able to think that any of these chintzy celeb frags are worth sniffing. But I LOVED your review. It was so very entertaining and the highlight of my evening. Kudos on your wonderful and humorous writing.:)

    • March says:

      I like to sniff the mass market stuff, including celebuscents, because I want to know what they smell like, and I can better gauge popular trends (like gourmand, or fruitchouli). Only a couple have I really liked enough to buy. Off the top of my head, Betsey Johnson and Hilary Duff, which actually smell rather similar.

  • Nava says:

    Hey – I thought I was the one with the P&G Rolls and pool boy? I guess I haven’t been reviewing that many mall scents, but I’ve certainly spent enough time sniffing there over the past couple of years. 8-| By the way, does this earn me the prize for earliest commentator on a Posse post? It is now 8:50 pm on Sunday the 24th. For the record, I am watching a video on my laptop…

    I’m really surprised that SJP went the fruity floral route. I guess with the failure of Covet it was time to play it totally safe. Although I did like Covet; it was similar to La Perla Eclix, and I like that one too.

    FYI – Kim Kardashian’s father Robert Kardashian was one of O.J. Simpson’s defense attorneys. He was also big in the music industry, I think. How his daughters wound up as reality TV stars is beyond me. Actually, the whole reality TV thing is beyond me. But, I’m really curious about the scent now. And, I’m with you on the ad; I like it, too.

    I’m not even going to comment on your take of Beyonce’s Heat, because how could I possibly top canned peaches and unwashed ladypart stank? ^:)^

    • March says:

      Covet’s drydown was okay but I couldn’t get past the top, which smelled like citronella bug candles to me. 🙁

      And thanks for the info about the Kardashians; I had no idea who they were, except for rich, pretty party girls.

      That Heat was something.

  • mals86 says:

    “When I went to the online Sephora reviews of Kim Kardashian, the lowest (one-star) reviews consistently use descriptors of this scent like OLD-LADYish, or TOO STRONG, or SOMETHING MY GRANDMA WOULD WEAR. Ding ding ding!!!! The sure sign of a (potential) winner!”

    I had to explain to my family, between whoops, that I was FINE and not to worry about me. Gosh, I needed that laugh.

    Kim Kardashian sounds appealing, based on the notes. Mind you, so did Queen, but I found that one way sweet (and am def. not a patchouli fan). Heat I will stay Far Far Away from, given that I get unwashed ladyparts out of, of all things, Joy. Parfum or not. Vintage or not. It’s all Ho Panties on me.

    • March says:

      I’m glad I gave everyone a laugh. It’s Sunday night, we need it.

      The KK… I’m curious whether it’s going to be a flop, based on those negative reviews. Two girls were lined up behind me to try it, I wish I’d paid attention to their reactions. OTOH if KK ushers in a new wave of copycat musky tuberoses, I’m all for it.

      Queen was too sweet? I tend to kill off some sweet, particularly if there are other musky woods notes.

      Joy (and other Patous like Sira des Indes) smell very ripe on me too, so I am not surprised.