By Kilian Love Don’t be Shy Review’ish

So back at the beginning of our solitary confinement, Miss March was bugging me about this fragrance, did I have any, would STC get it back in stock because she wanted to smell what Rihanna smelled like.  I think my lip curled and my nose went EWWW, because my memory of this was disgusting marshmallow. No, no, no and hell no.  She went on about some of the Sephora reviews comparing it to Fruity Pebbles.  She did a very entertaining post on it.

You know.. I kinda like fruity Pebbles in the abstract and the actual, but I don’t  want to smell like a marshmallow fruity Pebble, and I sort remembered how by Kilian Love Don’t Be Shy was… yeah, like that. Again, no, no, no.  We finally ran out of that crap, and I’m not getting it again.


Here I am, I couldn’t stop thinking about it and why Rihanna, who can afford to wear anything, would pick this (yeah, yeah, no celebrity actually wears the crap they make and foists on the public – I’m speculating), and I had to smell it again to see if I was missing something in my memory banks.

In the process, I asked my sister if she remembered it.  OMG, she, she lurvesssss it, so much she bought some (this is my sister, who really doesn’t have to do that at all) and she was sad because she thought it was gone and she was down to her last 10 ml travel spray to tuck in her cute little black travel cover.

So many feels all over the place with By Kilian Love Don’t be Shy, which used to be just By Kilian Love.  I don’t know how some of these perfumes got extra words in their title as time went on, maybe a confusion thing.  But I think there was/is just one called Love with different notes?  I don’t know.

So the scary little marshmallow sugar puff showed up, and I sprayed, prepared for the hate to set in.  Well, huh.  It’s a gooey mess on the start, which you expect with these notes – neroli, bergamot, pink pepper, coriander, iris, jasmine, rose, honeysuckle, orange blossom, musk, vanilla, civet, caramel, sugar and labdanum.

Then a funny thing happened, I didn’t hate it.  Maybe it’s been reformulated into a less offensive cupcake, but it turns all soft and deeper, and there just seems to be more there there.  Calice Becker is one of my favorite perfumers, so it’s always worth hanging out with her creations.

Eventually, By Kilian Love Don’t Be Shy struck me as love – it’s all frilly and happy and giggly and sugary floral sweet in the beginning – sickening to everyone except the people in it.  Then someone says something jarring that doesn’t line up with all those love feelings, and in that moment the love bubble gets a little hole in it that lets in reality.  And the hole gets bigger, letting in some darker things, like civet and musk, and there is some sads and prickling disappointments.

As love loses the happy and the giggly and reality pours in over all those happy, sugary notes, it may or may not last, and it’s that moment before love goes into the crucible of choosing. You know the other person, and then you KNOW them.  And you have to look at all the sweetness and all the bitterness that now overlays it and figure out what you can live with.

By Kilian Love Don’t be Shy, you changed my mind.  the longer I wore it, the more I really loved it. I didn’t love the open, but I had to get THROUGH the open to find what I did love,  Like love.

So what have you changed your mind on that surprised you most, or do you change your mind?  If I do a giveaway drawing for this, would anyone enter?  I will!  Will draw two commenters at random for a sample of By Kilian Love Don’t Be Shy, but if you really, really hate that, I can find something else that you might like. 🙂

  • Noelle says:

    Color! I used to love color. I grew up in color. My use of color in my wardrobe was bright and vivid! Then my alternative rock days and subsequent grunge days took over and my wardrobe was as dreary as the winter days in my then current city, Seattle. I moved to Florida and slowly color crept back into my life…at first a muted lavender shirt or light grey pant. But then I went for bold pinks, true periwinkle blue and bright pops of orange! And today I love color color color! At least one thing remained constant thought-out my trip over the rainbow…I’ve never given up a bowl of my fave Childhood cereal..floral, fruity and just fabulous Fruity Pebbles!

  • Brigitte says:

    A dear friend sent me a decant and I wore it when my youngest left for college last year. It was comforting and I drained it. Then she sent me more 🙂 Honestly, I can’t remember anything that turned from hate to love.

  • VerbenaLuvvr says:

    Kilian has done so much on the love theme, it’s difficult to figure out exactly which one this is and of course the name changes don’t help, but I don’t think I’ve tried it in any case. Sounds deeeeeelicious!

    • Patty says:

      Yeah, he has too many perfumes with Love in the name – Beyond Love, Love and Tears, Love, now there’s Rolling in Love, I Love How you Taste. Enough, it’s confusing!

  • Musette says:

    Nobody writes about Love quite like you, darlin’. That grabbed mah GUTS! xoxoxo
    dnem, btw – I think (?) I haz some? If not, I know what I can get it 😉 xoxoxo

  • Jennifer S says:

    I gave my daughter a sample of Choco Musk which seems to be popular and she said well….what if I don’t want to smell like chocolate now? Lol. I told her to wait until the cooler weather to use it and she might be surprised how cozy she finds it!

    • Patty says:

      OMG, choco musk? That sounds crazy awful. But they all have a time or a place where you want to have comforting something surrounding you. Maybe not for long, but a little while!

  • Eldarwen22 says:

    I will give a lot of things a go. For years, I hated Coco Mademoiselle but I gave it another shot and I love it.

  • Shiva-woman says:

    I’m not into sugary unless, for some reason, it’s right before I go to sleep. Why I want to smell blueberry muffin batter or maple pancake syrup right before I go on the snooze cruise is anyone’s guess. During the day? Nope. This might be a transition, maybe change it up to maple syrup a.m and by lunch, moody and broody.

    • Patty says:

      That makes some sense, honestly. Maybe it helps you relax and sleep better? I might have to try this. I think my nighttime scent in my bedroom right now is something vanilla.

  • March says:

    This is hilarious, and a great post! Like another commenter I bought a sample and I’m not sure it’s…. right? I kept getting root beer. Must investigate, but don’t enter me in the draw lol.

    • Patty says:

      Root beer? I don’t think I get that, but I think there’s enough stuff in there that I think there are a lot of possibilities!

  • Cinnamon says:

    Patty, your review was so compelling I metaphorically ran out and bought a sample (I recall March’s review as well and thinking at the time I should try this, but didn’t; purchased from a company I’ve not used before and plan never to use again — it just struck me as weird, but it was the only place with By Killian samples). So, don’t enter me in the draw. The only truly sweet scent I hated then loved was Hypnotic Poison. Second time round, oh, that almond.

    • March says:

      HA on eBay?! The guy who takes three weeks to send his “quick ship?” I almost never complain/report on eBay, but THAT guy. I kept thinking, dude, are you waiting for Saks to reopen so you can go make a decant?! What a fail. And I’m not sure about the sample, I worked my way through most of it wondering, is this legit?

      • Cinnamon says:

        Nah, not eBay. Some sample company here. Not hugely impressed with its website but hoping a small parcel will make its way to me. Fingers crossed.

    • March says:

      I ADORE Hypnotic. You’ve reminded me I need to go look for my bottle, now that we’re heading into fall.

    • Patty says:

      Hypnotic Poison is one I used to hate too, but we sell so much of it, I gave it more one extra chance, and I really do love it now for what it is.

  • Kathleen says:

    Love is my only By Kilian perfume, and I purchased the bottle soon after release. It isn’t my typical style, but something about it is so unique and memorable.
    For sweet I still prefer Keiko Meicheri Loukhoum, but I agree with your sister, don’t run out of Love!

  • Portia says:

    Love the way you built up the fear Patty. I think we all go through this. A toxic early memory that folds in upon itself. By the time you get back to it anything less than the smell of burning hair is going to smell pretty damn good.
    It happens to me regularly. Especially if I’m testing a few things simultaneously.
    Portia xx

    • Musette says:

      I know, right? She actually made my guts twist a bit! xoxoxo

    • Patty says:

      Maybe that’s it? Though, I have to say, nothing about Secretions Magnifique has ever gotten better. My son is helping decant, and he just haaaatteess it. I told him it was the smell of a crime scene, and I think that made it worse. I will never change my mind on that one. I think maybe it’s if you hate something intially because you thought it would be something else, and the disappointment caused the Ick factor.

      • Brigitte says:

        Haha!!! Love Secretions!! On my skin it smells like the scent of my childhood….the Atlantic ocean. I made my entire family smell it on me and they all said it smelled great. Still don’t have a bottle though.

  • Ann says:

    I would love to try love don’t be shy! I think my husband would love it, thank you for the draw ?

  • Jo Ann says:

    I would LOVE to try a sample of this (pardon the pun).
    During Covid, I’ve noticed my tastes running toward very sweet. Think I’m finding comfort in the Sweet and Vanillas.

    • Patty says:

      And this could be it too, it is comforting. So far everyone I’ve had try it around the house loves it. So maybe I was just all wrong to begin with.

  • Libby says:

    Hmmm, I remember a co worker who smelled like marshmallow cause she always wore vanilla…. But i would love to try a gooey mess with afterthoughts…. And I need some staying power on my life right now…. So bring it on!

  • Janet in California says:

    I love Love! Almost all Kilian’s early stuff works for me though. Now if only I could afford to try the newer ones.

    • Patty says:

      I’m not a big lover of some of the newer ones, and some of the ones I love other people are like ew, no. But there are some winners in there!

  • Dina C. says:

    I usually don’t like sweet scents. Years ago when I sniffed Iris Ganache, it was way too much for me. However, I fell in love with and bought Mademoiselle Guerlain, which is iris, marshmallow and galbanum. I just love this one so much now. Really surprised myself.

  • Tara C says:

    Being a gourmand lover, I bought this years ago, before it became the shizz. Still love it. Smelling like a marshmallow is a good thing to me (cue Profumum Vanitas).