Fred and Barney and a giveaway

By Anita

(March sneaking in here — winner of the bottle of Tauer is Melauriga, I’ll email you, congratulations!  On to Anita’s post….)

6 October 2010: God willin’ and the creek don’t rise, Frederic Malle himself will be at the Chicago Barneys.

Alas, he will not be available to the hoi polloi, amongst whom I reside.  Just 20 of his spendiest BFFs will get to enjoy an elegant hour with him.


So I’m kicked to the curb – no matter.    IMO the man is a genius and a true respecter of the perfumer’s art.  And he looks to be a charming person, passionate about what he does.  And I’m in Big Love with several of his scents.  And there won’t be a cow or a pig in sight. So it’s a beautiful thing.  Perhaps I can press my nose against the windowpane..

In the meantime, in honor of M. Malle’s pending visit to the Windy City, I’ve thrown down a couple of haiku-riffs on his Editions.  Oh!   not so fast, my little daisies!      Can you bust the Haiku Mystery?!   Some are easy-peas, some are a bit more abstruse and one or two are just silly!  These  are not intellectual exercises – I’m just channeling my inner numbskull – and the riff might be the only way I could juice the haiku.  So don’t get mad if I crank on your favorite.  Nothing personal! And don’t get all note-phobic on me, either.  Remember, these these are the brainchilllun of a crazy, Benadryl-addled old bat.  Try to think like a cranky,crazy person and you’ll do fine.

The winner (the first poster to get all 7 right – or however it shakes out within 48hrs of this post going up) will get 3 samples of Malle fragrances (don’t ask me what – I ain’t tellin’ cuz I don’t know yet!   If there’s a Malle you’re dying to try,  make note in your reply and I will try to accommodate!)  And feel free to throw down a  Malle/Editions 5-7-5 of your own! I’d love to read them!  Don’t tell what you’re haiku-ing – it’ll be fun for us to guess!

1.Round loaves of warm bread

Wet,broken pot of lilacs

Oh, Liv..I love you

2. Cough syrup floating

on the frozen Zuiderzee

How does he do that?

3.Crabby little fleur

Spitting mean, green pith at me!

Don’t be so cranky!

4. White-throated ladies,

plump pink strumpets beckon…. Crap!

Who invited Musk?

5.Dark pink spun-silk sheets

The Rock, stretched across the bed

Yum! This is good stuff!

6.Yes.  I had one, once

Twice. Okay !!!  yeah, MANY times!!!

It was lots of fun!

7.Nipped-waist, grey New Look

Elegance personified

Then Dad came to stay

photo:  wallpaper .jpeg (you know I SO wanted’ to use Fred Flintstone and his bud but I lost my nerve!)

samples:  Barneys New York and my personal stash

  • taffynfontana says:

    1. En Passant
    2.L’Eau d’Hiver
    3 Cologne Bigarade
    4 Carnal Flower
    5 Dans Te Bras
    6 French Lover
    7 Vetiver Extraordinaire
    I am guessing based on reviews from Edition De Parfums and the Net
    Crossing my fingers.

  • DJ says:

    now I think all reviews should be done haiku style! great post :)

    I am in Paris and very tempted to wander over to FM and have a sniff fest. I keep wanting to get a full bottle of *something*, but can never decide.

  • Ninara Poll says:

    I couldn’t even begin to guess, so I won’t :) but I must say I adore the haikus. ^:)^^:)^^:)^ Thank you ever so much for the smiles and giggles! :x

  • Shelley says:

    mmm, went back and forth between retro and rampant…but like the idea of soft rampaging over a rage… ;)

  • Shelley says:


    Hey, I’m a huge Malle fan, as you know. Neither hoi nor polloi, however. I’ll let others guess, and just make sure I get packed up in time to see you at the curb. ;)

  • Bee says:

    this is tricky!
    just guessing:
    1: en passant
    2: géranium pour monsieur
    3: une rose
    4: fleur de cassie
    5: dans tes bras
    6: French lover
    7. Vétiver extraordinaire

  • HemlockSillage says:

    Had to try my hand at the haiku. . .it’s been rolling around my head all day, but still not quite right. Be well.

    A spirit’s warm scent
    Symphonic, ladylike, wild
    Carnal whisper haunts

    (I’ll keep my day job :d )

    • mals86 says:

      I like it.

      Carnal Flower?

      • HemlockSillage says:

        I was aiming for Parfum de Therese, as it was created for the perfumer’s wife. It was her scent, and not released until long after her passing. It has this odd combination of things that shouldn’t work, but do. Melon (which I usually loathe), but atop rose, plum, cedar and sandalwood to oversimplify. It is hard to pick out individual notes in this one, it is so well blended.

        Certainly has a feel of a classic bespoke perfume, created for a unique woman. Elegant, lovely, but also very strong and passionate. When I started my perfume obsession, I hated this, and thought it was just a mess. Now, it fascinates me. It is sort of an aspirational perfume for me, though. It wears me sometimes :D Be well.

  • DinaC says:

    Great post, Anita. Really fun to read the haikus and the guesses. Like many, I haven’t sniffed enough FM scents to know which is which. My favorite is lPdT, but I don’t sniff any melon in it. For that matter, I don’t sniff melon in Diorella either.

  • Mary says:

    What fun– thanks for the laughs. Ok, I’ll play–
    1. En Passant
    2. Fleur de Cassie (Reminds me of cough syrup, at least!)
    3.Geranium pour Monsieur– mean and green, in my book—
    4. Lipstick Rose
    5. Mmmmmusc Ravageur
    6. French Lover (sigh)
    7. Angelique Sous La Pluie (or however you spell it . . .):)>-

  • turquoisewater says:


    1. En Passant
    2. L’Eau d’Hiver
    3. Une Rose
    4. Carnal Flower
    5. Dans tes Bras
    6. French Lover
    7. Vetiver Extraordinaire

  • helenviolette says:

    This is fun :)

    1.En Passant- my personal fave
    2. Geranium Pour Monsieur
    3.Une Fleur de Cassie
    4 Musk ravaguer
    5. Une Rose
    6. French Lover
    7. Vetiver Extraordinaire

    Forgive my spellin.

  • HemlockSillage says:

    What fun! Here were my guesses. . .
    1. En Passant
    2. L’Eau d’Hiver
    3. Iris Poudre
    4. Lys Mediterranee
    5. Une Fleur de Cassie
    6. French Lover
    7. Dans tes bras

    Love FM’s perfumes. . .this is the house that I own the most of, and still consider purchasing the remaning few. Consistently lovely, each one so different. Certainly worthy of poetry :D

  • Tom says:

    Can I just say that I think it’s a little silly to only let 20 people in? I mean, we’re not talking Lady Gaga here..

    1. Dans de Bras
    2. L’Eau de Hiver
    3. Fleur de Cassis
    4. Carnal Flower
    5. Angeliques Sous la Pluie
    6. French Lover
    7. Vetiver Extraordinare

    • Musette says:

      Honey, it’s not ONLY 20.

      It’s ONLY 20 who prolly spend more money in an afternoon than I make all year. I suspect it’s a double-whammy: a nod to his celebrity – as charming as he is about perfume and perfumers he doesn’t strike me as the type to stand around a counter on the shop floor…ya know?

      And the 20 Spendies may or may not really care about perfume – but they probably care a whole lot about ‘exclusivity’, knowmean? I ‘get’ it. I just wish they’d give the perfume hoi polloi, who really do appreciate Malle’s approach to perfumery, a few minutes with him.

      ah, well…

      xo >-)

      • maidenbliss says:

        Can you get hold of a diamond tiara, a velvet cape and stand outside the window? With
        a demure and imploring flirty gaze?

        • Musette says:

          The funny thing about this whole Event is, were I to be invited I wouldn’t know what to say to him. I mean, it’s not like I ‘know’ a whole lot about perfume composition – c’mon! Y’all read my posts here. You know this. /:)

          So I think I’m just crankin’ because……well, I’m a crank!

          xo >-)

          • maidenbliss says:

            Methinks you are much too humble, my lord. Personally, I wouldn’t know what
            to say, I’d just want to get a good whiff of him:x:x:x:x

  • maidenbliss says:

    1. En Passant
    2. ?
    3. ?
    4. Musc Ravaguer–my love , it must be you!
    5. Lipstick Rose
    6. French Lover
    7. Vetiver Extraordinaire

    Nothing like letting the world know how little I know about FM!
    But alas, it’s fun to play anyway!:d

    sexy wanton you
    dirty little flowerette
    animalic dreams

    haiku snafu for you:-?

    • mals86 says:

      Ooh, I like that one!

      Une Fleur de Cassie?

      • maidenbliss says:

        no…:(( I’ve never even sniffed Cassie-oh, that sounds so hmmmm
        Guess again!
        What’s with the emoticons not working?

      • maidenbliss says:

        MR. As in Mister, you smell so good, good good. I love this so much I just bought it again
        tonight. Maybe it’s the full moon, doubt it, this one makes me swoon.

        • Musette says:

          I’mo go with Geranium pour Monsieur or…….

          Musc Ravageur, which has that dirty bits thing going…

          xo >-)

          • maidenbliss says:

            Musc Ravageur is zee one!

            Still on my wrist
            I will rhapsodize for hours
            sensual madness

          • maidenbliss says:

            still now! on my wrist

          • mals86 says:

            Hm. I have yet to smell that one. I’m a wee bit apprehensive…

            …and yet I actually put Secretions Magnifique on my skin and lived to tell, so why I’m worried I don’t know.

          • maidenbliss says:

            I’ve not smelled SM (hee hee-nice initials) in spite of all the yakking about it. What’s your take
            on it SM?
            MR is so beautiful, I’d compare it to a very elegant version of Kiehl’s musk. I put it on yesterday
            afternoon-I have a tiny bit left from TPC sample I bought. I can still smell it on my
            arm. But it’s subtle and pretty. Unless
            someone really hated musk I would think they’d like it. I’ll decant a sample for you
            when I receive the 10ml that I just bought on eBay it you want to try it.

          • Mals86 says:

            SM smells like Bloody knife + Chemical spill. Urgh.

            MR should smell like attractive, slightly-sweaty male. Does it?

          • maidenbliss says:

            Ya know…I don’t get the sweaty smell at all with MR. Not even slight. I’m wearing
            Teo Alahine at the moment so it’s confusing my sense memory – is that lame or what?

            Bloody knife/Chemical spill! How delightful!:) MOO!!

            It isn’t like Musc Nomade by AG-that’s more feminine to me. Also very pretty. Tried that?

  • March says:

    Well, I was a total FAIL. I got three of them right, I think. :”>

    • March says:

      OTOH I am still QUING OF THE EMOTICON. [-( Why do we not have a crown emoticon, I ask you?

      • maidenbliss says:


      • Rappleyea says:

        We have the bowing guy emoticon, your Majesty.

        • Musette says:

          which I will employ, for the benefit of the emoticon-less


          xo >-)

          • March says:




            I love that cow one so much I can’t even. Although that thing has horns, does that make it not a cow?

            — Clueless in the ‘Burbs

          • mals86 says:

            Some breeds of cattle have horns, cows included. Some breeds don’t have horns, bulls included. Our bulls are mostly purebred Angus (the cow herd, by now, is a melange of Angus, Hereford, Simmental, Beefmaster, Charolais and Gelbvieh – they’re like United Nations cows), and they don’t have horns.

            Link to pic of Angus bull:
            See? No horns. :)

          • Musette says:

            are they called ‘polled’ if they are like that? Wait. Polled cows are cows without horns in a horned-cow line, right?

            Crap. I’m confused. Good thing I’m not raising 3:-o3:-o3:-o

            xo >-)

          • Mals86 says:

            Yep, “polled” means No Horns. Unless the animal was dehorned, and then it’s… uh, “dehorned.” Polled is actually a dominant gene, isn’t that weird?

          • maidenbliss says:

            March, my emtoties are not working. Also, (only within the past few days)
            when I make a comment a Safari window
            pops up and says my comment hasn’t posted, but allows me to try again without
            writing it again. Anyone else having this problem? I have an iMac, maybe it’s
            that. Macs do operate differently.
            Testing emoticons now.

          • Mals86 says:

            Nobody’s emoties are working, unless you’re a host.

            I’m so jellllous.

          • maidenbliss says:

            Perhaps you could do a guest host. I’m guessing it’s a temporary glitch.

            ^$*(!#%(*#^@%!#%#*%^*T$@#&R that kinda made up for it, right?

  • lolediburgh5 says:

    Fun post!!!
    1.En passant
    2.L’eau d’hiver
    3.Fleur de cassie
    4.Carnal flower
    5.Une rose
    6.French lover
    7.Cologne bigarade.

  • Isa says:

    It’s so difficult! This is my guess:

    1- En Passant
    2- Eau d’Hiver (but I thought of Dans tes bras too)
    3- Le Parfum de Thérese
    4- Lipstick Rose
    5- Une fleur de Cassie
    6- French Lover
    7- Vetiver Extraordinaire

    It’s a funny game. Congratulations on the idea

  • zazie says:

    1. en passant (the only easy one!)
    2. Eau d’Hiver
    3. Carnal flower (I hope I am mistaken… my favorite Malle….)
    4. Musc ravageur (but could also be une fleur de cassie, or parfums de therese… actually the only *ho*** perfume in the Malle’s collection is PDT, but okay, I doubt anybody agrees with me. That melon smells like, well….)
    5. ?????
    6. French lover
    7. Bigarade concentrée

    No idea on number five. If I hadn’t already used up musc ravageur….
    I am undecided between Une rose, Iris Poudre, Dans tes bras.

    5. le parfum de Therese

    Only one entry is possible, right?
    :( %%-

  • Jen says:

    what a clever post. I’m not familiar enough with his scents to guess, but man what fun I’ll have reading these comments!

  • Olivia says:

    Oh heck, I’ll take a stab at it… I really had to go re-read note descriptions and remember all the reviews I’ve read!! Well here goes:

    1. En Passant
    2. Geranium pour monsieur
    3. Une Fleur de Cassie
    4. Carnal Flower
    5. Dans tes Bras
    6. French Lover
    7. Iris Poudre

  • mals86 says:

    I had to think awhile about “Fred and Barney” before I got it. (I blame the Sudafed for my fuzzy-headedness.)

    Okey-dokey, here goes – and I’ve tried not to read anybody’s responses before posting this:

    1. En Passant
    2. L’eau de Hiver
    3. Lys Mediterranee
    4. Lipstick Rose
    5. Une Rose
    6. French Lover
    7. Bigarade Concentree

    And here’s my Malle-ku:

    The flowers I picked
    Now shriek and chase me around
    Hide under the bed!

    • Musette says:

      Cloooooose – but your cigar is not completely lit.

      But that haiku SLAMMMMS! love it.

      My guess? Either Lys or Carnal.

      did I get it? did I get it? huh? huh?

      xo >-)

    • Rappleyea says:

      Fleur de Cassie? Something seems to be tickling the back of my brain about that one in reference to you.

    • mals86 says:

      Okay, okay… I told myself I’d spill da beans after the third guess.

      Une Rose!

      I love me some rose. But that one, seriously, just frightens me. I mean, here are some gorgeous roses that suddenly get HUGE. And THREATENING. And SHRIEKY.

      I kept walking around the house, trying to get away from it.

      • maidenbliss says:

        Well, now you know how I feel about CF. It has the same reaction on me as Une does
        on you. LOUD ABRASIVE MENACING! Reminds me of my reaction to Fracas! Sorry, Musette.

        • Musette says:


          Do NOT Diss the Goddess of the HUGE WHITE FLOWER FROM (fill in your particular blank)


          xo >-)

          I’mo wash in Fracas ‘silkening body wash’ then spray the PARFUM, just for you maidenbliss!

          • maidenbliss says:

            I’m going to step outside and gaze at the mooooon. And pretend I don’t even know you.
            I’m also going to splash on some Musc Ravageur, top it with Bois Blonds, douse
            myself with Chanel Sycomore for good measure.
            Fracas IS an acquired taste to my way of thinking. Frack Us.

          • mals86 says:

            Ooooh. Fracas.

            Which, to be perfectly honest, I like better on other people than I like on me. It’s that orange blossom, I think – Carnal Flower totally punted Fracas off my personal screen.

          • Musette says:

            Fracas stomps around
            On hot pink stiletto heels
            Bow to her, or else..

            xo >-)

          • maidenbliss says:

            I’m not sceered of u.
            to my own nose I am true
            Bow to her? My finger stinks


            Just to make sure I despise this one I just dabbed it on my middle finger…Blech!&!%$

          • Musette says:

            That is NO haiku
            but it’s funny just the same
            Your last line slayed me!

            xo >-)

          • maidenbliss says:

            NO haiku? What you say that for? It is true Haiku. I’m gettin’ really
            annoyed not being able to emoticon!

            Emoticon Gone
            no longer am I laughing
            no more cows for me


  • Rappleyea says:

    Like Tiara, I’m not familiar enough with the Malle scents to play, but I love your haikus and can’t wait to see what the correct answers are. Great job!

  • 1. En Passant
    2. Géranium pour Monsieur
    3. Une fleur de cassie
    4. Carnal Flower
    5. Une rose
    6. Iris Poudre

  • Tiara says:

    I have no idea what any of these are having never tried any of Malle’s scents. Can’t even begin to take a stab at it.

    HOWEVER, I did want to compliment you on the creativity of your post. Clever, funny, and interactive!

  • OrbWeaver says:

    I have no idea what I’m doing with this but here are my guesses. I had to give it a try – love Musc Ravageur, Carnal Flower, and Le Parfum de Therese.

    1. En Passant
    2. Une Fleur de Cassie
    3. Cologne Bigarade
    4. Lipstick Rose
    5. Dans de Bras
    6. French Lover
    7. Vetiver Extraordinare