Torpor

Dormouse who is Way Smarter Than Me

Torpor.  I haz it.

from Dictionary.com (yeah, the go-to authority)

Dictionary.com Unabridged
Based on the Random House Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2014.

Well,  and truer words have never been written.  I do not have SAD – I couldn’t care less about the sun (well that’s a lie but let me roll here, okay?).  I’m not a person who benefits from one of those lights – what happens to me, every. stinkin. winter.  Is. Torpor.  My blood congeals, my spinal fluid gets all crackly and I spend a lot of time just….frozen.  Not depressed.  Frozen.  Weird, huh?  It can take me 5-10 minutes to get out of bed to pee because I can’t conceive of actually moving!   Please, PLEASE tell me I’m not the only one.  Please.    Funny how torpor doesn’t have the same cachet of its temperate sister, languor.  Perhaps it’s the absence of the gin and tonic with the chaise longue and the umbrella….and the increase in fleece.  Whatever, it’s not nearly as fabulous!

So…now that we’ve got that out in the open, let me tell you what I’ve been doing to combat torpor.  Yoga, of course.  And thank Floyd for Nina and the crew – this post kept me from ripping a freight dispatcher’s face right off his head!  But when I’m not running amok I find myself, not in depression, in that emotional way – this is largely physical.  I just….do you know, I can just sit there, like a meatloaf.  For a long time.  Or the Tin Man in the snow (except I can’t even imagine how cold he must’ve been.  All that metal.  Getting colder.  And colder.  brrr).

Understanding that (finally!) I am making some adjustments in my day since torpor, no matter how ‘natural’ it is, doesn’t fly in the workaday world.  So the yoga, for sure!!!  Setting the Google alarm to remember to get up and walk around.  To remember to make certain calls (rather than just sitting here, in torpor)…remembering to blink.  Remembering to breathe!  Seriously – the urge to hibernate is just overwhelming.  I rejoined our little gym – but the problem is working up the stones to walk out to the car and drive the 3 blocks to the gym.  Walking on the good days *uh…what good days? LOL!  -15F, gale-force winds, more and more ice…thanks so much, Winter!

Not really whining here (liar) but the interesting thing about torpor is that very lethargy makes choosing perfumes unbelievably difficult.  For me,  it’s different from feeling depressed so cuddly scents aren’t effective.  I can watch TV shows about tv but not actual shows (huh?)  and fuggedabout a movie – I spent 30 minutes of my life flipping through the Netflix queue, unable to even move my head, let alone make a decision; it actually became its own entertainment(not).  So scents have to be very decisive – they mostly have to make the decision for me.  Divas, front and center – if you are a subtle, ladylike scent I’ll see you at the May meeting of the Junior League, okay?  Don’t forget your gloves.  But the scents can’t be too challenging, either, since torpor means I can’t be bothered to be challenged; I’d just as soon wash you off as have to deal with you yelling at me.  I spritzed some Mitsouko and you’dve thought my hair was on fire, I was twisting & hopping around so much.  Ditto the normally gorgeous Diorling.  She hissed at me and Slapped My Face, the shrike!

The best scents for torpor – the ones that can keep me awake but don’t scare me with their teeth?  The Big Whites!  But not just any  BWFs – the buttery ones, like Fracas, are a little too round for me and the oil makes me itchy – what’s working best are the Giant Girls with the pissy attitude (no, not that kind)  Carnal Flower.  Honey, I put on so much Carnal Flower ….it was like..every time I spritzed it, I woke up!  Isn’t that weird?    Tuberose Criminelle is #2 on the list.  Another wakey-wakey!   Not a BW, but a WakeyWakey nonetheless,  is Bas de Soie, with its iridescent-cool metallic base and bloomy hyacinth heart.

These are the scents that are keeping me from falling into shadow, during these frigid days.   You winter-haters:  are you Torpors are SADs?  What are you wearing to help you through it?