So! You guys almost didn’t get a post because I posted on Friday which means I moved it in my mind to last Tuesday which meant that today would be March’s post. Luckily March disabused me of that notion in enough time for me to actually get something written that doesn’t just suck donkey butt. Maybe. We’ll see what you think.
So! Prior to the ‘yikes!!! – get a post up there’, March & I were discussing some aging-related stuff (I’m out of Shingleville but the PHN damage in my armpit (OW!) seems to be solidly entrenched and it’s now a histamine trigger point. Yay, me! Old Age really ain’t for sissies) and we got on the subject of friends moving in together as they age, a la Golden Girls or Grace & Frankie. I’d never really considered it because I’ve been partnered up for so long but things can change and, really, who wants to rattle around in a house by themselves when they’re 70? So we delved further into the notion and came up with some criteria for possible roommates, as people age. At first we thought that you have to have similar personalities but the more we talked about it, the more we realized that what you really need is to ‘get’ the other person. If their level of crazy is incomprehensible, this is not the roommate for you. Grace ‘got’ what Frankie meant when she said (as they sat there, stoned to the hairline on peyote) ‘your anger is making the sand sad’. She didn’t have to agree – she just had to ‘get’ it. I think that’s the fundamental requirement (all the GGs thought Rose was bonkers – but they ‘got’ her). Thinking about it further, I’ve come up with a list of my own requirements (in no particular order):
- Bathroom(s). If there are two people there needs to be at least 1.5 bathrooms. As we get older, Bathroom Stuff becomes more time consuming. And essential. Like: RIGHT NOW. Trust me.
- No extremes. Cleanliness, politics, dietary. Oscar and Felix were cute on the screen but that would’ve lasted about 23hrs in real life. Maybe 26. If both of them were asleep for 10 of those hours. The gal who leaves her dirty panties on the back of the sofa is NOT the roommate for me (I knew someone who did that. Her apt was a Hazmat zone). Nor is the gal who cleans the bathroom twice a day – with a toothbrush. Ain’t nobody got TAHM for that – not at 70. Hit it with a mop and be done with it. I have a dear friend who has become a militant vegan and is even considering cutting certain plants out of her diet because she read that they do a version of ‘screaming’ when they are harvested. My basic approach is ‘if it ain’t moving, I’ll eat it’ This could cause some Tense Refrigerator Moments and if I’m 75 I wanna eat a BLT in peace. We won’t be rooming together, not even come the Zombie Apocalypse. I’m not negotiating pulling a turnip up out of the ground because I might hurt its feelings. That turnip? It’s MOINE!
- Noise. Good noise. Bad noise. How do you navigate that? On Golden Girls they always had a laugh track and those lead-in notes – I don’t remember any of them blasting the stereo (omg. I just though of something! Was GG pre-CD?! O.M.G.)
- PERFUME! This is a perfume blog so all of us on here love our ‘fumes. What if you and your gal-pal are rooming – and she doesn’t HATE perfume but she doesn’t want it wafting through the house? How do you manage? El O is not a fan so I wait until he’s out of here before I break open the Messy Armoire and I certainly don’t spray in our bedroom until he’s on his way out the door. I suppose one could keep it in the bedroom (in no scenario do I see 2 old ladies sharing a bedroom – I can barely share a room with myself).
- Culinary. ‘Rattlin’ pots’ as my mom used to say. You both (or 3 of you) like to eat but one of you likes Stinky Cheese. Or lots of curry. Do you dine together on the same dish or does one of you make a chicken vindaloo and the other make a pbj sandwich and retire to your respective corners to chow down? Or do you just order pizza and be done with it? I’m going to have to watch some GG episodes. I know Grace & Frankie don’t eat the same food because Grace doesn’t eat.
What other considerations are there? Be creative! Would you ever consider rooming with someone as you age? The Girl will pull a name or two and we’ll get you some goodies out of the Messy Armoire. I got ere’body’s stuff out TODAY! WHOO-HOO! So those of you who have contacted me should see your li’l packages soon. Edpgypsy – HOLLA! You are my other Child Winner. Clock’s ticking!
Friday’s winner: Connie!!! gmail me at evilauntieanita with your details and I’ll get some fun stuff out to you.